My Favorite Senior Moments (12 page)

Burt burst out laughing.

Babs cracked a smile. “I think I'll pass this on to Melanie.”

Today's Thoughts

Wait for the L
ORD
; be strong and take heart and wait for the L
ORD
.

P
SALM
27:14

Dear God, you always have just the right words for me no matter what I face. I thank you that I can trust you in all things and in all ways.

61

An Unusual Tea

Crash! The china
teapot hit the kitchen tile floor and sent Trudy into a tizzy. Everywhere she stepped shards crunched under her feet. How could she have been so clumsy—and with Janice dropping by any minute for tea and scones? What a mess!

Trudy carefully picked her way through the pieces of ceramic to avoid getting cut or spreading them further. She went to the closet and returned to the kitchen with a broom and dustpan. She swept up the debris and ran the vacuum to make sure not the slightest speck of broken teapot remained.

She glanced at the clock, let out a deep sigh, and then remedied the situation the best way she could think of. She filled her glass coffeepot with water and set it on the stove to boil. This would have to do until she could replace the teapot.

Within minutes the doorbell rang. Trudy opened the door to greet her neighbor. She invited Janice into the living room, where'd she'd set out two place settings on the coffee table, using her best china and delicate, lace-edged napkins. She decided not to say a word about the mishap in the kitchen. It was just too embarrassing. Plus she didn't want to hear any comments about clumsiness from her friend.

The women made small talk about their grown children, grandchildren, and hobbies. After a short while it was time to serve the tea and put out the scones. Trudy decided she'd pour the tea in the kitchen so Janice wouldn't see the container. She got up, excused
herself, and went into the kitchen. “Milk and sugar?” she called to Janice over the divider between the kitchen and living room.

Janice nodded and said, “Yes, as usual. Two cubes of sugar and a dollop of milk.”

Trudy returned with the cups and scones on a lovely blue tray, which she gently placed on the table in front of her guest.

Janice took one sip of tea as Trudy held her breath. Would her English neighbor detect that the tea had been brewed in a coffeepot?

Janice wrinkled her nose and squinted at her cup. “Mmmm. What an interesting flavor. I'm picking up just a hint of coffee in my tea.” She paused. “I like it. I like it a lot. You must tell me where you bought such an unusual tea. I'd like to brew some myself.”

Trudy stifled her gasp of relief. “It's my little secret concoction,” she joked. “But I'm so glad you like it. How about a strawberry scone?”

Today's Thoughts

From six calamities he will rescue you; in seven no harm will touch you.

J
OB
5:19

Lord, what a Savior you are! You not only rescue me from my sins but also from myself and my often-clumsy behavior. Thank you.

62

Steak-Frites

“Mark, I know
what I'm doing, all right?” Monica was determined to show her husband he could trust that she knew enough French to get them around France for a few days without starving. “For Pete's sake,” she argued, “I took French for three years in high school. I ought to be able to order a decent meal. Relax!” She picked up the café menu.

Mark asked her to keep her voice down, and then said, “Well, keep it simple. I don't want you making a scene in this public place.”

The two were quiet as they surveyed the options. Mark was at a loss as to what most of the words meant. Monica was firm in her opinion that she could order both of them delicious meals without any problems.

Mark whispered that he'd like a plain cheese omelet with a side of French fries. He slapped his knee and chuckled. “Can't come to France and not try French fries!”

The waiter appeared at their table.
“Madame, monsieur? Vous voudriez?”

This was Monica's moment to shine. She pointed to the word
omelette
and then to her husband, making sure the waiter knew it was for Mark. Then she ordered
coq au vin
for herself. While the waiter went to put in their order, Monica explained to her husband what she'd ordered was a French braise of chicken cooked with wine,
lardons
, mushrooms, and garlic. She further explained that
lardons
are pieces of bacon used to baste the chicken.

“What about the fries?” asked Mark. “I didn't hear you say anything about them. I'd like the big kind—you know, steak fries. The kind I get at Julio's back home.”

“I'm sorry,” Monica said. “I forgot, but it's not a problem.” She glanced at the menu again and noticed
steak-frites
.
They have them. Good!
thought Monica. She flagged the
garçon
and added to their order.
“Je voudrais des steak-frites.”

“Oui, Madame.”
The waiter hurried away.

“Pretty impressive,” said Mark, patting Monica on the arm. “I'm sorry I doubted you.”

Monica was feeling quite proud of herself… until the meal arrived.

Mark's omelet was fine, and the chicken dish looked wonderful. But why the big steak with the fries?

Monica did her best to ask the waiter why he'd brought the steak. By that time she was doubting her French.

“Steak-frites, Madame,”
He pointed to the meat and potatoes.

Then it dawned on Monica.
Steak-frites
must mean steak and fries! “
Merci, gar
ç
on.
”

After the
garçon
left, Monica and Mark quietly laughed at the miscommunication and decided they'd need a take-home bag for sure with all the food in front of them. Monica doubted she'd be able to communicate that to the waiter, so she quietly wrapped the leftovers in her napkin and shoved the packet into her purse. Tomorrow they'd look for a McDonald's and hope it had a menu written in English. But before that, she'd call on God to dampen her pride and increase her humility.

Today's Thoughts

The L
ORD
is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

P
SALM
145:18

Oh, Lord, I sure can get myself into fixes when I venture out on my own without first asking you to guide my steps and my words.

63

Give Credit When Credit Is Due

“My treat,” I
said to my daughter, grandson, and sister as we paced back and forth in front of the food display at our favorite deli.

“I'll have the Blue Plate Special for kids.” Miles was clear about what he wanted.

My daughter Erin browsed the selections and then chose polenta.

My sister chose a chicken wrap.

I selected three small salads.

We waited in line to check out. When it was our turn, the server piled trays with our food and slid them across the counter. My daughter picked up one, and I reached for the other after handing the cashier my credit card.

We maneuvered through the throng of people who were waiting for their orders or were in line to pay for their purchases. We found a table for four and settled in, each of us hungry and eager to eat.

My sister June slipped me a ten-dollar bill to apply to the total. I thanked her quietly and then dug into my salads.

Suddenly I felt a presence. Startled I looked up at a man who was towering over me.

He smiled as he put the credit card slip for me to sign on the table. I'd walked off without closing the sale!

How embarrassing
, I thought. I signed the paper, handed it back, and returned my focus to my delicious salads and the wonderful conversation.

“Excuse me,” the man interrupted. “Here's a little something you
might need later today.” With that he laid my credit card on the table.

Whew! Another moment of embarrassment.
I was so grateful he'd been so conscientious and polite, when I hadn't been paying enough attention.

Today's Thoughts

The L
ORD
longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.

I
SAIAH
30:18

Oh, these senior moments, dear God. They really do catch up with me even when I think I'm paying attention. I'm so grateful you have my back.

64

Shrimp for Two

Lois stood in
the kitchen wondering what to fix for dinner. She looked in the pantry, then the fridge, and finally the freezer. Pizza, hot dogs, hamburger, salad fixings, beans, and rice were all there, but none of them appealed to her. Lois realized what she really craved was shrimp. She turned to her mother sitting on the sofa in front of the television watching the evening news. “Mom, I'd like some shrimp for supper. Does that sound good to you too?”

“Yes, it does! Good idea,” Ruby said with a smile.

“That settles it then. I'll be back shortly, Mom. Go ahead and lay a place for each of us on the coffee table, and we'll enjoy our meal while we watch TV.”

Lois took a deep breath when she stepped outside. She'd been in the hospital the week before, so it felt good to inhale the fresh air. Within minutes she pulled into the car line winding around the fast-food restaurant till it was her turn to place an order. She called to the man taking orders. “Sir, I'm deaf. I do wear a cochlear implant but still it's difficult for me to hear over this type of speaker.”

“No problem, ma'am. What would you like to order?”

Just then Lois' mind went blank. For the life of her she couldn't remember why she'd chosen this particular restaurant and what she'd planned to order. She remembered craving a certain food, but what was it?

The young man at the window was waiting patiently for Lois to spit out her order.

Lois smiled and squirmed a little in her seat. She smacked her forehead. “Oh my! I forgot,” she sputtered. “I'll think of it in a second, okay?”

“Don't feel bad, ma'am. You'd be surprised at how many people do the same thing.”

Lois felt her face flush. “Good to hear that. I… ” Just then she remembered and blurted out her order before it disappeared again. “Two shrimp dinners!”

She quietly thanked God the correct words had come to her just in the nick of time. She'd been thinking she'd have to drive all the way home and rehash her conversation with her mother before she'd remember what she'd craved.
Whew!

Today's Thoughts

Commit your way to the L
ORD
.

P
SALM
37:5

Dear God, some of these senior moments are just plain fun—and some are totally annoying. Please keep me safe from those that create havoc. I know you can do this because you are with me morning, noon, and night.

Flying High

65

A Lethal Weapon

Rachel and her
daughter Carol enjoy shopping and having lunch together a few times a year. During one shopping excursion, they were walking down the aisle of hats and handbags in their favorite department store when Rachel noticed a selection of beautiful purses. She turned to look at them more closely when suddenly she did what she calls her “purse thing”—swinging her shoulders so quickly that her shoulder-strap purse crashes into whatever is close at hand. In this case it was a spiral hat rack, and it went down with a clang.

An older couple came to her rescue, setting the rack back up, picking up the hats, and replacing them on the hooks. “My dear,” said the gentleman, “you need to be more careful or you'll be taking home more than your share of hats and handbags—enough to last you the rest of your life, from the looks of it.”

“You're so right,” said Rachel. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

“Oh, we weren't looking out for you,” said the gentleman as he chuckled. “We were looking out for ourselves. You give quite a ‘purse punch.' You'd better watch that weapon or you'll get yourself in more trouble than you're already in.”

Rachel lowered her eyes and then glanced at the man. “I'll do that. Thank you for the warning.” With that she turned quickly to look for her daughter Carol, and her purse fell from her shoulder and sailed off a short distance.

The same man she'd met a moment before came to her rescue
again, this time with a wink and a nod. “Ma'am, may I recommend a solution? How about purchasing one of these nice, compact clutch bags? It may be costly now, but it might save you the expense of a lawsuit later on.”

Today's Thoughts