My Sweetest Escape (2 page)

them talking about my transformation

behind my back more than once.

Snow was just starting to float down

from the sky when I got back downstairs to

my car. I could barely see out the rearview

mirror, but I was mostly driving on the

highway anyway.

I plugged my iPod into my car speakers

and hit Shuffle.

It was going to be a long trip and I only

had music for company. The sleeve on my

sweatshirt rode up, exposing the bracelet I

never took off. It was simple, just a chain

with a little elephant charm on it. I kept it as

a reminder. A constant reminder.

Shaking my head, I pulled away from the

dorm and headed for the highway and the

next chapter in my life. A fresh start was

irrelevant when the dark things in your past

were always following you.

It took me longer than I anticipated to

get from New Hampshire to my sister’s

house in Bangor, Maine. Actually, it wasn’t

even her house. She’d moved in with this

guy Hunter, who was buying the house

because he was apparently loaded.

Leave it to Renee to find a rich friend.

She was also on again with her boyfriend,

Paul, which was a good thing, in my

opinion, because she was a pain in the ass

when she wasn’t with him. Even more so

than she was when she was with him.

I hadn’t seen the house before, so it was

a bit of a shock when I parked in front of

the house Renee had given me directions

for.

“Damn,” I said. It was huge. Way huger

than Renee had let on. I’d pictured

something a little run-down, and small, but

this was bigger than any house I’d ever lived

in, with Mom or Dad.

I grabbed my backpack and headed up

the porch steps, glancing at the cars in the

driveway as I passed them. It was easy to

spot Renee’s, so I knew I must have the

right place.

There was even a freaking doorbell. My

finger was an inch away from ringing it

when the door flew open.

“There you are! I was worried you were

lying in a ditch somewhere,” Renee said,

flinging herself at me. Startled by the hug, I

sort of stood there and kind of hugged her

back.

“I’m here.”

Somehow, I’d gotten a recessive

redhead gene in our family and ended up

with carrot-red hair, freckles and green

eyes.

Renee had gotten the good genes, with

her blue eyes and blond hair that didn’t

need much highlighting. Our features were

similar, but our coloring was so different

that people never thought we were sisters.

She finally stopped hugging me, but kept

her hand clamped on my shoulder and

steered me into the house, as if I was going

to make a run for it. Where, I didn’t know.

Renee had mentioned something about

Stephen King living down the street, but I

wasn’t sure if I’d be any safer at his house

anyway.

“How was the driving?” Renee closed

the door behind us and it clicked shut with

finality.

“Fine,” I said, glancing around the

house. Damn. Again.

I didn’t know who had decorated, but

they’d obviously used those crazy

home-improvement magazines as

inspiration.

One thing was for sure—it didn’t look

like a typical college crash pad. It was clean,

first of all, and second, there seemed to be

an actual scheme where things matched

and went together. There were also a lot of

peacock feathers, and similar peacock

colors around. Renee had mentioned

something about her roommate Taylor

being obsessed with peacock stuff. I

couldn’t remember why. I sort of tuned out

when Renee gushed about her amazing and

awesome life, while mine had gone into a

downward spiral that never seemed to hit

bottom.

“Hey, Jos. How are you doing?” Paul

came around the corner. He was cute in

one of those white-bread nerd ways.

Not my type. Not that I had a

type…anymore.

“Good.” It was a step up from fine. No

one questioned you when you said you

were good. Everyone thought there was

something wrong with you if you said,

“fine.”

He gave me an awkward hug. I’d seen

him at Christmas when he’d kept Mom and

Renee from throttling each other with

varying success. I’d tried to tell him it was

no use, but he’d done it anyway.

“Where’s everyone else?” I was actually

looking forward to seeing Darah and

meeting her new boyfriend. Darah was one

of the sweetest people on the planet, and I

knew if there was anyone who wouldn’t

judge me, it would be her.

“They wanted to give us some space.

They’ll be here later.”

Something about the way she said it

made me suspicious.

“They’re not going to make a big deal

about it, are they?”

“No,” Renee said, not looking at me, but

glancing at Paul.

Something was afoot.

“So, how about we get your stuff inside,

shall we? Come on, Paul.” Renee grabbed

Paul’s hand and yanked him out the door.

“Uh, okay.” I was left standing in the

foyer alone. I walked into the living room,

which was gorgeously decorated, except for

a mangy-looking recliner and the video

games the guys had probably left scattered

around. I saw the “Skyrim” box and smiled.

Renee couldn’t get enough of that game. It

had consumed quite a bit of her time over

Christmas break.

I flopped down onto the couch and

stared up at the ceiling. Even that was

clean.

A thud sounded a second later as Renee

and Paul brought in some of my stuff.

“Since we only have three bedrooms,

you, my dear sister, get to stay in the newly

refurbished basement. You’re lucky we

decided to put in a guest room,” Renee

said, panting.

“Great,” I said, although I wouldn’t have

minded staying on the plush leather couch.

It was the largest couch I’d ever seen and

took up most of the living room.

“Why don’t you show her around and I’ll

get the rest of the stuff,” Paul said. I got up

from the couch and Renee led me down the

stairs into the basement.

“Welcome to the man cave,” Renee

said, waving her arm.

A man cave indeed. A bar, a pool table,

yet another gigantic couch and a television

large enough for a movie theater.

There were also several sports team

posters, including the Red Sox, the Patriots

and the Celtics. Go teams.

Renee led me toward the back of the

space where there was a small guest room

with a bathroom right beside it.

Thank God. I wouldn’t have to share a

bathroom. I’d done that in the dorms

enough to last a lifetime.

“So this is it.” The room was decorated

in tan and black, which was boring, but nice.

I sat down on the large bed and looked

around at my new home.

“Okay, we have some ground rules,”

Renee said, leaning against the dresser.

Don’t even bother to beat around the bush,

sis. Go ahead and get right to the point.

“Number one,” she said, holding up one

finger. “You will inform me where you are

and who you are with at all times.

You will keep in touch via cell phone.

You will also answer said phone when I call

you, no matter what.”

I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t want

to provoke her in the middle of her speech

that she’d clearly rehearsed, probably on

Paul.

“Second—” she held up another finger

“—there will be no partying. No drinking.

No drugs. No substances of any kind other

than aspirin. There will also be no passing

out.

Third, there will be a curfew which you

will follow or suffer the consequences.

Fourth, I may not be your mother, but you

will treat me with respect, and that goes for

the other people in this house. And fifth…”

She didn’t seem to be able to come up with

number five.

“Fifth?” I said after a few seconds of

silence.

“I had a fifth one, but I can’t remember

it right now,” she snapped. “But that

doesn’t negate the other four. Do you agree

to them?”

“Yeah,” I said. What did it matter?

“You said yes way too easily. I don’t

believe you.”

Jesus. I was being criticized for being too

agreeable.

“Whatever, Renee. Can I just be alone

now?” I turned over on the bed, touching

the sheets that were no doubt

Egyptian cotton and had a crazy high

thread count. Of course.

“Listen,” she said, sitting down next to

me. Ugh, she always started her lectures

like this. Just like Mom. Although, Renee’s

lectures always had more cursing in them

than Mom’s.

“You’re going through something right

now. A phase, if you will. I’ve been there.

Even Paul was there.” Yeah, I found that

extremely hard to believe. And she had no

idea what I was going through. She thought

she did, but she didn’t.

No one did, and I couldn’t explain it. I

twisted the elephant charm on my bracelet.

And then she smacked me on the

shoulder. Hard.

“But it’s time for you to get your head

out of your ass and straighten up.

Understand?”

“Why with the violence?” I flipped over,

jumped up and shoved her back. “Look, it’s

not my fault that Mom decided to dump me

on you. I don’t want to be here any more

than you want me to be.”

She glared at me, her face turning red.

“Look, I don’t like the fact that my

once-perfect sister, the one sister I knew

would never screw up, has fallen off the

wagon of epic proportions. You’re the one I

never worried about. You got better grades

than I ever dreamed of getting.

You were the good one. And then…”

She didn’t need to finish. And then

everything happened, and that girl, the one

who obsessed over straight A’s and wanted

to be the president of every club and who

had her sights set on being valedictorian

and someday running a huge company or

working for the government or doing

something important with her life,

disappeared.

Nine months ago, everything changed,

and everything I thought I wanted seemed

stupid and pointless. Or maybe I’d just

finally realized it was stupid and pointless.

That had less to do with what had

happened and more to do with
him.

Even thinking his name was like taking a

bullet in the chest.

“Yeah, then I decided to screw it all up. I

know. I’ve heard the story. I was there. You

don’t need to reiterate it to me.”

She shrugged. “Well, nothing else has

worked, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I’ve

also considered beating you senseless, but

that’s usually frowned upon.”

“Go for it,” I said, sitting back down.

Wasn’t going to work.

“Oh, believe me, I’d love to. But then

you’d be unconscious and I wouldn’t be

able to get information out of you, soooo…”

“And what information is that?”

“What the hell happened to you to

make you like this?”

That was something she could try to

beat out of me, but it wasn’t going to

happen. I shoved her aside and went back

out into the main area of the basement.

“I guess I just decided all that stuff was

bullshit. Getting good grades, being the

good daughter. Where did it get me?

Nowhere. And I was miserable. I never got

to have any fun because I was always

working or trying to get those good grades

or planning some sort of event for one of

the million clubs I was in. I got tired of it,

okay?” I understood them being upset

about me partying and that sort of thing,

but just because I wasn’t getting straight A’s

anymore, that was a reason to have a

coronary?

Renee grabbed my shoulder to stop me

from running up the steps. I tried to shake

her off, but she yanked me around to face

her.

“No, that’s not it. You’ve spent your

entire life following the rules. You don’t do

that and then just flip a switch and change.

People don’t change like that unless

something makes them.” I’d had this

conversation with her, with my parents,

with my now ex-boyfriend and ex-friends. I

told them all the same thing.

“Just leave me alone.” Everyone had,

eventually.

Renee glared at me, her eyes turning a

steely blue like they did when she was

determined about something. Getting her

to back off was going to be a challenge. She

took stubborn to a whole new level.

“Fine. Go get the rest of your stuff.” She

let go of my arm and jerked her chin up the

stairs.

“Fine,” I said, stomping up the stairs.