My Sweetest Escape (4 page)

I was sure she’d already called them and

shared the news of my safe arrival.

My room was outfitted with a small

television and DVD player, but I didn’t turn

it on. Instead I got out my laptop and

scrolled through my pictures from a year

ago. I was torturing myself, I knew.

I remembered that girl. The one who

always had her hair perfect with cute clips

and had lots of cardigans and pumps.

The girl who had a boyfriend who was

headed for the White House, and had

friends who never let her down. It wasn’t

picture-perfect, but it had been as close as

it could get. And it had been a complete and

utter waste of time and energy.

I slammed my laptop shut and yanked

the covers back on the bed and got in. My

music was still blaring, but it seemed to be

quiet upstairs. Finally. They all probably had

class or whatever tomorrow. I was surprised

Renee hadn’t been up my butt about

registering for classes yet. I had all my

paperwork to become a UMaine Black Bear,

just like her.

I turned over on my side and closed my

eyes. Sleep was far away, and elusive, but

that’s how it always was now. I’d gotten

used to passing hours by staring at the

insides of my eyelids.

Several hours later, I decided I’d had

enough. I needed to go somewhere else.

Anywhere else, even if it was just to see the

stars. I pulled some sweatpants on over my

shorts and grabbed my winter coat and

tiptoed up the stairs. I listened for a second

to the almost-silent house before I pushed

the door to the basement open and started

creeping toward the front door. The floors

were all hardwood, so creaking was going

to be an issue.

And then a voice made me nearly jump

out of my skin.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Mase’s head popped up from where he’d

been lying on the couch in the living room.

Holy…shit.

“Out for a walk,” I said, somehow

finding something to say.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these

days?”

“What?” He got up from the couch and

came to stand in front of me, blocking

access to the front door. Yeah, there was

NO WAY I was getting past him. Not even if

I had a weapon.

“Have a seat.” He clamped his hand on

my shoulder and steered me toward the

couch. I tried to fight him, but he was even

stronger than he looked.

“Who are you? My dad?” Actually, my

dad never really cared this much what I did.

He was always too busy with his current

wife and one of my numerous siblings to

notice if I skipped out.

He sighed and sat down next to me.

“Look, I know you’re going through a tough

time. I’m familiar with those. Hunter was in

really bad shape for a long time, so while I

can’t say I know what you’re going through,

I know that whatever you were going to do

by leaving this house in the middle of the

night isn’t going to help.”

“But—” I tried to get up, and he stopped

me again. “I wasn’t going to do anything. I

just…needed some space.”

He smiled and shook his head. “You’re

not leaving this house right now,
capiche?
”

He pulled me up from the couch and

shoved me toward the basement. “Even if I

have to sit outside your bedroom door.”

“Why do you care?” I said as I stumbled

down the stairs back to my room.

He laughed. “Because Renee said she

would drug me, remove my dick and sew it

to my face if I let anything happen to you,

and I kind of like where my dick is in its

present location.”

I almost laughed, too.

“Sounds like Renee.” I paused outside

the bedroom door, and he sat down on the

stairs.

“I’m also betting that her stubbornness

is genetic, so please don’t make me come

down here again. I have class in—” he

glanced at the clock on the DVD player “—a

few hours, so I’d like to get some sleep.” He

yawned and started to go back up the

stairs.

“Good night, Little Ne.”

“Night,” I said, watching him walk back

up the stairs. I waited until I heard a door

close before I let out a frustrated sigh.

Seriously, Renee? SERIOUSLY?

Despite my late bedtime, I woke up at

seven the next morning, probably because

the smell of bacon had penetrated the

cracks under the door and seeped into my

room.

I got dressed and threw on a ratty

thermal shirt with thumbholes I’d made

myself, a pair of holey jeans and decided to

venture upstairs. I half expected to see

Mase sitting next to the door to the

basement.

“You’re up,” Renee said, yawning and

coming down from upstairs. “I didn’t expect

you to be awake this early.” Her hair was all

over the place. Either she’d been having

some sweet sex with Paul, or she’d been

tossing and turning.

“Especially after I tried to sneak out last

night, right?” I said, saying the thing I knew

she was thinking. She crossed her arms and

her eyes narrowed.

“We will discuss that later. Right now

you’re going to have breakfast because it’s

the most important meal of the day.”

Where was she getting this stuff?

“You’re not my mother,” I said, walking

away from her and heading for the kitchen.

She wouldn’t make a scene in front of

everyone. At least, I hoped not.

“Hey, Little Ne,” Mase said brightly,

looking up from a giant mug of what I

assumed was coffee. Darah was manning

several frying pans and Taylor was slumped

over at the dining room table.

“Why did I sign up for an eight-thirty

class again?” she moaned as Renee went to

the coffeepot and poured herself a cup

before going back upstairs.

“Because it was the only time offered

and you need the class to graduate?” Darah

said, dumping a huge mess of bacon onto a

plate covered in paper towels.

“You want some?” Darah said. I shook

my head. As nice as the bacon smelled, I

didn’t think I could stomach it. “We have

some toast and eggs, if you want. And

there’s always cereal, and I think we still

have some pumpkin doughnuts

somewhere.” God, it was like living in a

bed-and-breakfast.

“Um, do you have any tea?” I sat down

at the table near Taylor, who was trying to

pull herself upright so she could drink her

coffee.

“Yeah, sure.” Darah opened a bunch of

cabinets before unearthing a dusty box of

Lemon Zinger tea. It was going to take a

little more than zing to fix my problems, but

it was a start.

Hunter came down a few minutes later,

freshly showered and with a grin on his

face.

“Morning, Missy girl,” he said, giving

Taylor a kiss. “You awake yet?”

“No,” she moaned, putting her head

against his chest. He laughed and pulled her

onto his lap, and I remembered my reasons

for wanting to get out of the house last

night.

“Make it go away,” she said.

“I would if I could, baby.”

Renee and Paul came in a few minutes

later. Her hair was fixed and they were both

dressed for the day.

“Okay, here’s the deal. Since I don’t

trust you on your own, you get to come

with me today,” Renee said, with a sweet

smile that I could tell was hurting her teeth.

Everyone looked at me.

“And since I have class in less than an

hour, you’d better get your ass dressed and

ready to go.”

“What am I supposed to do all day?” I

sipped my tea and stared into the cup so I

wouldn’t have to see everyone staring.

“I don’t know. You’ll think of something.

As long as it doesn’t involve you getting into

trouble, or getting me into trouble, we’ll be

good. So, that’s how it’s going to go.” It was

another well-rehearsed speech.

“Whatever,” I said, shrugging.

“I said she could come with me,” Darah

said, finally breaking the enormous silence

that had suffocated the room.

“No, it’s fine. She’s my responsibility,”

Renee said, going for the coffee.

“Um, sitting right here,” I said. “And I

don’t need a babysitter.”

“That’s not what I hear,” Renee snapped

at me. Mase coughed and shoved a piece of

bacon into his mouth. He chewed and

mouthed “sorry” at me. Of course he’d told

her.

I would have been shocked if he hadn’t.

I sipped my tea and bit back a snarky

response.

Two hours later I was yawning, sitting

outside one of Renee’s labs. I couldn’t

remember which one. It sounded

complicated and disgusting at the same

time. I’d been smart enough to bring my

computer, so I’d been catching up on some

of my favorite vlogs and music blogs.

Then I played my favorite game of trying

to find new music by clicking on random

videos online. This summer I’d started a

music blog, but I’d been slacking on posting

this week. Since I was so new at it, I was still

trying to find my niche when it came to

what the blog was about. I barely got any

views, but I discovered that the only thing I

loved more than music was writing about it.

Before…everything,

I never would have considered music

blogging. I still hadn’t told anyone I was

doing it. They wouldn’t understand—that

was for sure.

Renee had promised me a tour of the

campus after we had lunch. From what I’d

seen so far, it was a lot like UNH.

College campuses were pretty similar,

especially if they were state schools. I’d

considered coming here, but the idea of

being away from my crazy family was more

enticing than saving a few bucks by going to

an in-state school. I’d gotten into Bowdoin

and Bates, two prestigious Maine schools,

but they had been far too expensive and my

financial aid hadn’t been enough to cover it.

Too bad, so sad.

When she finally emerged from her lab,

Renee reeked of formaldehyde, but she had

a crazy gleam in her eye. She must have

gotten to dissect something.

“Have fun?” I said, as I got to my feet.

My back was crazy stiff from all the sitting

I’d done.

“We got to cut into a fetal pig. It was

awesome,” she said, as if she was talking

about seeing the latest girlie movie to hit

theaters with a hunky vampire in it.

“Sometimes I wonder if we’re related,” I

said as the rest of her class poured out.

They didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic as

Renee was.

“I’ve been asking myself that very

question for years,” she said as we headed

toward the Student Union for lunch. Unlike

some people who wouldn’t be able to eat

after a fetal pig dissection, Renee got

herself a bacon cheeseburger and inhaled it

like she hadn’t seen food for weeks. I went

with a strawberry walnut salad and picked

at it.

“So I have to do a three-hour shift at the

hospital tonight,” she said after she

disposed of the burger and was attacking

the fries. How she stayed so thin was

beyond me. I usually had to watch what I

ate to keep myself thin, or at least thin-ish.

“And?”

“And you’re coming with me, so I hope

you have something to do with yourself.

Like maybe getting that transfer paperwork

together.”

I’d rather have my teeth drilled, but the

look on Renee’s face told me I didn’t have a

choice.

“So you’re my jailer now, is that it?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have to be if you’d just

follow the damn rules, Joscelyn.” God, she

sounded like Mom. Way too much like

mom. She even had the same “I’m

disappointed in you” face.

“Fine. Am I allowed to go to the

bathroom, or do you need to come with me

to hold the cup while I pee?”

“Cute,” she said as I got up and headed

for the bathroom.

I spent the rest of the day watching