Naughty 2: My Way or the Highway (30 page)

On Christmas Eve, mostly everyone had gone to sleep by midnight. LJ was knocked out in the bedroom with Stella and James. I went into the study to call Jaylin, to let him know LJ was fine, but he didn't answer. I left a message on his voicemail and told him how well everything was going. Before I hung up, Collins stood in the doorway and heard me tell Jaylin that I loved him.

I tried to explain. “That's just something we say to—”

Collins walked over to me and placed two fingers lightly on my lips. “Shh . . . don't. Don't explain. Let's just go to bed.”

He turned down the lights in his study, and I followed him into the bedroom. I sat on the bed as he went into the bathroom for a shower. I couldn't even imagine how he felt, but I truly hadn't meant any harm.

Trying to see what was taking him so long, I took my clothes off and went to join him in the shower. His hands were pressed against the tile and he didn't turn around to face me. Steamy water dripped on his face. I couldn't tell if he'd been crying, but I could tell from his expression that he was upset. When he felt me brush against him, he looked me over, then turned back around. I wrapped my arms around his body and touched his chest.

“I'm sorry,” I said, lying my head against his back.

“Don't be. Saying you're sorry all the time only means trouble in a relationship. Please, don't be sorry for something you truly feel. I know you love me, but I also know you love him too. Trust me, though, the better man will prevail, and I know that I will.”

We finished our shower, and after he dried me, we cuddled in bed. Collins placed his head between my breasts and fell asleep. I stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking about how God had blessed me with such a wonderful man. Shortly after, I dozed off.

 

Mackenzie and I were having a pretty good time together. After Jaylin had left, she really didn't say much to me, and cried herself back to sleep. I truly felt her pain and held her in my arms as we cried together. Thing was, we weren't sure if he was coming back this way or not.

By the next day, though, things started to get better for us. I took Mackenzie to work with me and everyone loved her. My boss even let her take orders from a few tables. She got a kick out of all the attention. When he paid her twenty dollars for working, she was all smiles and said that she wanted to use the money to buy Jaylin a Christmas present. I promised her we would go to the mall and get something nice for him.

We bundled up and walked home together. And since it was snowing outside, Mackenzie couldn't wait to play. We made snowballs and blasted each other with them. As soon as we got home, she rushed into the house to call Jaylin to tell him about her amazing day. He wasn't there, though, so I told Mackenzie to leave a message.

I was disappointed when we still hadn't heard from him the next day. It wasn't like him not to call back, but I knew how upset he had been when he'd left. Knowing him, he probably needed time to deal with the situation, so I left him at peace.

Right before Christmas Eve, Mackenzie and I took a bus ride to the mall. We browsed the shops looking for something for Jaylin, but when Mackenzie insisted nothing was good enough for him, I found him something myself. It didn't cost much, but it was a gold pen set, and I asked the woman who sold them if she would engrave his initials on the side for me. She said that she could for a small fee.

As we stood and waited for her to finish, I saw a man making ornaments with peoples' photos on them. I hurried the lady with the pens so that Mackenzie and I could have our picture taken. The man put our picture on a colorful Christmas ornament and scripted the words ‘we love you' beneath. It was so cute, and I knew Jaylin would love it when he got it in the mail.

Mackenzie drove Santa Claus crazy, telling him a list of things she wanted. And after I pulled her off his lap, we rushed to the post office to overnight our package so Jaylin would get it on time.

At the end of the day, we were so exhausted that we took a taxi home and ordered a pizza when we got there. I flopped down on the couch and Mackenzie turned on the TV. When the phone rang she ran to the kitchen and answered it. I sat up and listened. I could tell by the excitement in her voice it was Jaylin.

“Yes, Daddy. I know. We bought you a present today.” She smiled as I walked into the kitchen. “I'm not going to tell you.” She paused. “You did? Okay, but when are you coming to get me?” She frowned and listened to him. “I know, but here's Mommy. I love you too.”

Mackenzie gave me the phone.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hey. I just wanted to tell you that I mailed Mackenzie a little something for Christmas. I also bought her a puppy, but I'm not going to pick him up until she comes back, or whenever she comes back.”

“I'm sure she'll be excited about that. And you know she'll come back to see you soon. So, don't even sound like that.”

“Are you coming with her?”

“Jaylin, we already talked about this. I'd really like to stay here for a while. Mackenzie can go to school here. I already checked into it.”

“So, I see you're making some serious plans, huh?”

“If that's what you want to call them, then yes, they're serious. I still love you, but I am not coming back under the same conditions.”

“Suit yourself, Scorpio. It's been over two months and I'm not going to wait on you much longer.”

“Don't. If you feel as if you need to move on, please do. Maybe you'll change for someone else. For me, it seems to be such a difficult thing for you to do.”

“You can't change a man who don't want to change, baby. But you for damn sure can accept him for who he is. Adios Amigos, I'll talk to you soon.”

“Jaylin! Don't hang up. Why is it that every time I talk to you, our conversation has to end like this? Listen, I don't want you to move on with anybody else. You have all that you need right here. But I do want things to be a lot better between us. Just think about it, okay?”

“I've been thinking about it for months now. How much thinking do you want a brotha to do? How do you plan to work this out with me, if you're in Denver and I'm in St. Louis? You're putting up a hell of an effort trying to work things out with me. I've been there twice and that's it for me. The only time I'm coming back is to get Mackenzie. After that, you're on your own and I mean it. So, keep playing around if you want to, you're going to miss me when I'm gone.”

He hung up.

I put the phone down. Mackenzie wanted to call him back, but I told her no. I told her he was leaving the house, because I wasn't about to call back and kiss his ass.

When the doorbell rang I thought it was our pizza being delivered, but it was the United States Postal Service with Mackenzie's present. Jaylin had said it was just a little something, but it was two huge boxes wrapped in green shiny paper, and a big red bow was on top. I signed for the packages and closed the door.

Mackenzie couldn't wait to see what was in the boxes, so I let her open one. She tore off the paper, and when she opened the box, she pulled out a white fur coat with a fur hat to match. Her eyes widened. When she put it on, she looked darling. Inside that box was another small box with a card taped to it. I opened the card and found $1,000. I read the card to her:

I laid the card down and we opened the small box. In it was a silver heart-shaped locket with a pink three-carat diamond centered in the middle. A picture of him and Mackenzie was inside and on the back were her initials, MJR, engraved along with “Daddy LUVS U.”

I closed my eyes, and held back my tears so Mackenzie wouldn't see me cry. I didn't want her to think I was a basket case with all the crying I'd been doing, so I quickly got myself together.

Anxious to see what was in the second box, I let Mackenzie open it, too. And just when I thought he had already done enough, she pulled out another white fur coat and hat, but this time, it was for me. Another necklace and card followed. The only things my card said were for me to come home, and how much he missed me. My necklace had a white diamond with only his picture inside, and on the back were the initials SAR, for Scorpio Antoinette Rogers. I smiled and held it close to my chest. No doubt about it, it was time to go home and claim my man. I had put it off for as long as I could.

I rushed to call and tell Jaylin my decision, but he didn't answer. Instead of hanging up, I left a voicemail thanking him for the gifts, and telling him how much I loved him.

On Christmas Day, Mackenzie and I didn't get up until noon. We stayed up late watching the
How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
and
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
. I tried Jaylin at his house again, but still got no answer. Desperate to talk to him, I even called Stephon's house to see if he'd heard from him. When he didn't answer, I figured they were probably somewhere together, so I chilled and waited to hear from him.

It was just the two of us, so there wasn't much to cook, but I wanted it to be a special day for Mackenzie. She stood on a chair and whipped up the chocolate cake mix as I checked on the baked chicken in the oven, then put the boxed macaroniand-cheese on the stove and waited for the string beans to cook.

The phone rang and we both rushed to it. I was truly disappointed to hear Jackson's voice and not Jaylin's. He wished us a Merry Christmas, and since I didn't have call-waiting, I rushed him off the phone just in case Jaylin was trying to call.

At six o'clock, we set the table and blessed the little food we had. All Mackenzie ate were a few spoonfuls of the macaroni and cheese, and she picked over some of the chicken. When I asked why she wasn't eating, she insisted she wasn't hungry.

I pressed because I could tell something else was

bothering her.

“Mackenzie, you can tell me, what's wrong?”

She kicked her feet underneath the table. “Nothing. I just don't like the chicken. It tastes kind of funny.”

“What's wrong with it? I thought you liked chicken.”

“I do. But I like Nanna's chicken. Even Daddy's chicken tastes a lot better than yours.”

“Well, thanks, honey. It really makes Mommy feel good when you don't like my chicken.”

She frowned, looked at the chicken, then tooted her lips. “Can I throw it away? It's spoiling my appetite.”

“Yes, Mackenzie. Go throw it away. And don't ask for anything else to eat today, okay?” She got off the chair and dumped her whole plate in the trash, including her macaroni and cheese. “I thought you liked the macaroni and cheese.” I said.

She shook her head. “That taste funny too. Can I have a piece of cake now?”

“No, you may not. If you didn't eat your food, then you can't have any dessert.”

“That's not fair,” she yelled. “I can't help it if you can't cook!” She stormed out of the kitchen, and as she went down the hallway, I heard her say she wanted her Daddy. Hurt by her words, I went after her and grabbed her arm.

“Listen, Mackenzie, I have no idea what is wrong with you, but watch your mouth. Do you understand?”

She nodded and pouted, then she folded her arms and sat on the bed. Frustrated with her attitude, I turned her over and spanked her good. I wasn't going to put up with her mess like Jaylin does. Just because she got away with clowning on him, she wasn't going to get away with clowning on me. The last thing I'd intended was for our Christmas to turn out like this. I had done everything I could do to make it a special day for her, but nothing I did was good enough.

I hit her a few more times on her behind, and afterwards she climbed into bed with her dolls. Being too hard on myself, I went into the bathroom and closed the door. That was the first time I'd ever spanked Mackenzie. I looked in the mirror, feeling terrible. The thought occurred to me that maybe I'd done it because I was disappointed that Jaylin hadn't called. That idea made me feel even worse.

I stayed in the bathroom for a while, splashed water on my face and dried it with a towel. I went back into the bedroom, where Mackenzie had fallen asleep while cuddled with her dolls and fur coat. I kissed her forehead and grabbed a book on my dresser to read.

I read several chapters, and while munching on some popcorn, I glanced at the clock. It was almost seven. I wondered why Jaylin still hadn't called. I'd thought he would call at least to speak with Mackenzie, but the night was still young. I got back to my book and anxiously waited to hear from him.

 

I didn't get an ounce of sleep Christmas Eve thinking about LJ and Mackenzie. I wondered how their night was going, and wondered if they were missing me as much as I was missing them.

I laid in bed for countless hours looking up at the ceiling and listening to my phone ring off the hook. In no mood to talk to anyone, I picked up the caller ID to see who it was each time, and put it right back down. But when Daisha called for the fourth time since six o'clock in the morning, I finally answered. She insisted that I shouldn't be alone on Christmas and wanted me to go to church with her. When I declined, she begged me to go and said it would truly brighten my day if I did. She was being very persistent, so I told her I'd be ready in an hour.

I showered and changed into my dark gray suit, then put a white dress shirt underneath. I chose a tie Nokea had bought me to match the suit, and slid into my shoes.

As I was combing my hair, Daisha rang the doorbell. As usual, she looked classy in her dark gray silk suit, with a white scarf gathered around her neckline. Her short curly hair was neatly cut, not one strand was out of place. We laughed and talked about how well we matched each other without even having planned it.

By the time we arrived at church, it was packed. Daisha introduced me to everyone as a long-time friend, and smiled when some people talked about what a cute couple we made. During the short service, I glanced at Daisha a few times and she was all into it. When the choir sang, she squeezed my hand, and laid her head on my shoulder. I saw a few tears roll down her face and I reached over to wipe them.

Afterward, she introduced me to a few more people, then we jetted. On the drive home, she asked me if I enjoyed myself. I told her that I did. I kissed her and thanked her for the invite. I really had enjoyed myself. Pastor Davis's message was quite interesting and the choir's singing had brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't help it, because the thought of LJ and Mackenzie being without me kept coming to mind.

Before we headed back to my place, we stopped off at the cemetery where her brother was buried and laid flowers on his grave. Daisha said he was her twin brother, and had been killed in a car accident almost five years before. She said she always visited his grave because she never wanted him to think he'd been forgotten.

I felt bad, because Mama had been gone since I was nine years old and I never went to the cemetery to visit her. I guess I was so upset about her leaving me, that I never thought much about it. When I talked to Daisha about my feelings, she told me it wasn't like Mama left me by choice. I agreed, but I still had a hard time understanding why Mama wasn't a part of my life when I wanted her to be so badly. Now, though, I had Nanny B, and for me, that was good enough. I could feel Mama's presence in her, and actually, when I thought about it even more, I had been feeling Mama's presence all along.

Instead of going to my house, Daisha wanted to stop by Stephon's place to give Mona her present. I hadn't gotten anything for Daisha, and felt kind of bad. When I apologized, she told me not to worry about it. She said it wasn't a big deal, since she hadn't gotten me anything, either.

Stephon and Mona knew we were coming, so the door was already open for us. No sooner than we walked in, Mona rushed to the door and twirled her fingers in Daisha's face, displaying an engagement ring. I congratulated her and politely asked her where the groom was. She pointed to the kitchen and said that he was in there with Shane. I pushed through the kitchen doors.

“Oh, no, you didn't!” I yelled.

“Oh, yes, he did!” Shane said, sitting at the table next to Stephon. “And did it straight up behind our backs.”

“Y'all brothas know how I feel about Mona. So, don't pretend that y'all didn't see the shit happening,” Stephon said.

“Honestly, I didn't. You've only known her for a few months.” I peeked out of the kitchen door to make sure Mona couldn't hear me. She and Daisha were talking, and opening up their gifts from each other. “Man, you just told me you were with Rachelle the other night,” I whispered. “Come on, dog, what's up with that?”

“I know,” Shane said. “Brotha just told me he went and knocked out Felicia for one last time. Man, you seriously should have thought about this, before making such a commitment.”

“Shane! Jay! Get out my business. I know what I'm doing. Mona is the kind of woman who understands me. She knows what I want, and she knows what I need. Most of all, she ain't tripping off no other females. So, prepare yourselves, she's going to be my wife whether you fellas like it or not.”

Shane and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. “Stephon,” Shane said. “I'm happy for you, but—”

“Shane, please don't start with all that theoretical bullshit.” Stephon walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned against it. “Life ain't about that all the time. Y'all brothas both know that the chances of anyone having a monogamous relationship these days are slim. If the woman ain't cheating, the man for damn sure is. All I'm saying is enjoy what you have for as long as you can have it.”

I held my hands open and gave Stephon a hug. “This time, I hope it's right. I support you because I love ya. However, I do not agree with any of that bullshit you just said. Marriage is supposed to be a sacred thing between two people and two people only. I can't seem to get to that point yet, but if you insist that maybe one day you will, congrats, and I wish you well.”

“Get your ass over here and give me a hug, fool,” Stephon yelled at Shane. Shane stood up and gave his congrats too.

We all stood around talking. “You know what's funny?” Shane said. “Why every time a man announces he's getting married it feels like he's planning a funeral, looking at it from his boys' point of view. It's just so hard for us to be happy no matter how hard we try. I can recall all the fellas who stepped to me and said they're getting married. I was hesitant to simply say congratulations.”

“I know man, it's scary,” I said. “Things are just not what they used to be.”

“But you can't let statistics scare you out of it,” Stephon said. “See, Mona understands that you have your Good Dogs and your Bad Dogs. A Good Dog will take care of his woman, take care of the kids, and take care of the finances. However, he will stray every once in a while, truly meaning no harm, and wouldn't give up his wife for nothing in the world. But a Bad Dog, he's dissing his woman, not taking care of the kids, barely hanging onto a job, and fucking everything in sight. He will trample from one woman to the next and get married about three, fo', five times, just to uplift he's ego. Problem is, too many women be liking these Bad Dogs. Why? I haven't a clue.”

“So,” Shane said. “Do you really consider yourself a Good Dog?”

“Mona thinks I am, or if not, she thinks I can be. Honestly, though, I'm just a Good Dog who loves a woman with some bad-ass pussy, that's all.”

We all laughed and gave each other five.

“Mr. Shane?” I said. “Whatever happened with you and Jeanette? Daisha told me you decided to kick it with Amber. What's up with that?”

“Well, if you would answer your damn phone, or call a brotha back sometimes, you would know. I just felt a better connection with Amber. And yes, I did get down with both of them that night, but I talked it out with Amber, asked her if we could still kick it and she's cool. It's nothing serious, we just hang out every once in a while. What about you? I see you're hanging pretty tight with Daisha. Does that mean Scorpio's history? If so, let a brotha know so he can make his move, please.”

Stephon had the nerve to give Shane five. I looked at both of them and smiled. “Never, ever,
ever
will I let her go. You brothas need to hang it up. Daisha's cool, digging her like a motherfucker, so who knows. But Scorpio's right here.” I placed my hand on my heart and winked. “And Nokea's right there too.”

“Fuck you, man,” Stephon said. “I'm giving up on your ass. You don't know what the hell you want.”

“Uh, I know what I want. Thing is, though, I don't have to choose. You're the one getting married, remember, not me.”

“Jay, let me put it to you this way,” Shane said, getting ready with some more of his theoretical bullshit. “If the world were ending and God said you can choose one woman to live the rest of your life with in heaven, and Scorpio, Nokea, and Daisha were standing right in front of you, who would you take with you?”

Stephon moved in closer so he could hear. “You brothas all up in my bit-ness, ain't y'all? But, uh, to answer your question, I'd quickly take Scorpio's beauty, her sexy-ass body, and good-ass pussy, then I'd take Nokea's charming, loving, and so thoughtful and caring ways, then Daisha's sexy, intelligent, smart, creative, spiritual mind and wrap them all up in one. After that, I'd make my way on up the elevator.”

“You are so full of shit,” Shane said. “But if it ever comes down to it, and you have to decide which one of them you want to be with, what you just said about them might help you find your answer. What is the most important thing to you? Scorpio's good-ass loving, Nokea's thoughtful caring ways, or Daisha's spirituality?”

“It's called variety, Negro,” I said. “I like variety, so I'll never choose. The truth is, if I did choose, I believe I'd eventually get whatever additional things I needed from just one of them. That's just the type of women all three of them are.”

Our conversation was getting pretty deep, so Daisha and Mona came into the kitchen to shut us up. We sat around until five o'clock, and then Daisha said she was ready to go. Shane left and said he was going to spend some time with his exgirlfriend's family, and Mona and Stephon were anxious to spend their first night together as an engaged couple.

On the drive to my house, Daisha talked about how happy she was for Mona and prayed that Stephon would treat her right. I didn't say a word because I knew deep down he wouldn't be right. He just didn't have it in him, but I was starting to wonder if I did. I enjoyed being with Daisha, but I was missing Scorpio more and more each day. I couldn't help how I felt. Maybe this was a time for me to consider making some changes. I had messed up with Nokea, and I couldn't figure out if I was going about this thing with Scorpio the wrong way or not. Some days I felt so much love for her, but there were other days that I felt as if my love could be considered lust. I often struggled with this love business, and my past issues with how I felt about women in general made this extremely difficult for me. I was determined not to lose out again, but for now, my day belonged to Daisha.

There was a small package in the doorway and I picked it up. When we entered the house the phone was ringing, so I set down the package on the bottom step.

I rushed to the phone, but when I saw Scorpio's number on the caller ID, I let it go into voicemail. I had listened to her message last night, and she'd thanked me for the gifts, but I wasn't in the mood to talk to her.

Ready to get our grub on, Daisha and I took from the fridge the turkey, dressing, ham, scalloped potatoes, greens, yams, and cornbread that Nanny B had cooked, and warmed it up. We piled our plates high, and went upstairs to my bedroom to get comfortable. I lit the fireplace and turned on the TV. Before we sat down in bed to eat, Daisha reached for my hand and blessed our food. Our shoes hit the floor and we rested our backs against the headboard.

“This is really delicious,” Daisha said with her mouth full. “Did you say your nanny cooked this for you?”

“Yes. She is an awesome cook. That's why I have to faithfully work out, because if I don't, my ass will be in trouble.”

“You do have a nice body, Jaylin. How often do you work out anyway?”

“I used to work out every day. I've been kind of getting lazy, so now, I'm down to about three or four times a week.”

“And how often do you get a work out from having sex?” She batted her eyelids and bit down on her fork.

“Are you asking me if I've had sex since I was last with you?”

“Yes.”

“No, I haven't. But I do like to
work
it out at least—”

“Be honest, Jaylin.”

“Okay, honestly, I like to work it out about seven days a week. Five days would suffice, but seven days would be perfect.” I reached over and fed Daisha some potatoes, since she didn't have any on her plate. “So, what about you?” I asked. “How often do you like to ‘work out'?”

She swallowed the potatoes. “Those are delicious, I should have taken some myself. I could probably work out seven days a week too, depending on who I'm with. However, with my busy schedule, I'd say I could probably get around to it . . . maybe, once or twice a week.” She reached over and put some collard greens in my mouth. “Now, did I just blow my chances with you?”

I smiled and chewed. “No, you didn't. The key words you said were ‘depending on who you're with.' And depending on who you're with, your busy schedule isn't going to stop you from making love to a brotha if he's good.” I reached over and put another spoonful of potatoes in her mouth. “Wouldn't you agree?”

She chewed. “I guess, but he has to be awfully darn good.”

I took her plate and put it on top of mine. Then I laid both plates on my nightstand. I scooted over and Daisha raised her skirt and straddled me. She removed her scarf from around her neck and wrapped it around mine. I started to undo her blouse. “Damn good, huh? What if he was extremely damn good?” I asked.

She leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “Then I'd sex his sexy-ass up seven days a week, or until he had enough of me.”