Needing You (13 page)

Wow this is news…Tuck and Parker grew up together.  Were they friends?  Gosh, don’t know anything about Tucker. We talk about a bunch of stuff, but nothing past related.

“I didn’t realize you two are friends,” I ask rather shocked.

“We aren’t anymore but that’s not something I want to discuss right now,” Parker says. 

“Look Parker, there’s nothing to worry about. Tuck and I are only friends, I trusted him and he let me down, it’s as simple as that,” I say truthfully because that is what happened.

“Okay, well if you need to talk even if it’s about him, you can always talk to me, I just want you to know that,” he says sweetly.

Awe how sweet, but I’m wondering how well they knew each other. I mean if you grow up with someone you probably know them pretty well, right? Too bad I can’t ask any more about that because Parker clearly didn’t want to discuss it. 

I decide to let it go and luckily the rest of the car ride is short. We arrive at Eddie’s house which is a ranch style house, which suits Eddie.  Parker led me to the door and I go in ahead of him and hear voices so I follow.  The band is already all here, except for Parker due to me holding him up with Tuck, plus there are a few others. I am assuming the others are friends of the band and then a couple of co-workers are here too. I am happy to see that, so I don’t feel too out of place.

We all hang out and I hear so many band stories, I can’t stop laughing.  These guys are a close-knit group and I am so happy for their success.  I get to talk to Marcus and Colin and learn more about them.  It’s always nice to learn new things; I just hate sharing things about myself.  Luckily for me, the guys ask about school and just general things which I can fly with.  I don’t have to worry about trying to come up with a lie or figure out a way to change the conversation.

Before I realize it, it’s already almost 7 a.m. Holy crap, it’s late or well early if you look at it that way.  Most of the guys are passed out except for a few of us.  Marcus states that he is going to head out so I asked if he could give me a ride home.  I hate staying places; I’d rather just stay at my place. It is a comfort thing, clearly.  I say goodnight or well good morning to the rest of the guys and head out with Marcus.

Marcus takes me home and as I walk up the stairs, I see Tucker sitting outside my door.  What the hell is he doing here?  I guess I won’t be getting any sleep today.

I would let him sleep, but he’s sitting directly in front of my door so there’s no way in unless I wake him up. “Tucker wake up,” I state a bit irritated. He doesn’t move, so I kick his foot and say “Tucker, get up.”  He finally starts to move and then realizes where he is and looks at me.  He has a sad look on his face, but it’s too early to deal with this.

Before he can say anything, I say, “Go home, we can talk another time.” By the time I get the key in the door he is standing behind me.

“No Harp, we need to talk now, you need to understand what happened the other night,” he all but demands.

“Tucker, I’m tired and don’t want to hear it right now,” I say slightly irritated.

“Why are you just now getting home?” Tuck asks with a look of confusion on his face.

“I was hanging out with a bunch of people, not that it’s any of your business,” I state harshly.

“Please Harp,” he says sweetly. I can tell he has a sexy look on his face that he uses to get his way, but damn, I can’t fall for it.

I step into my room and before he can follow me in, I turn, “What do you want, you can tell me from right where you are.” 

“I am not going to tell you what happened in the hallway of your dorm room. It’s personal and there are way too many people and ears around,” he states a bit irritated.

“Ugh, fine come on in,” I finally say giving in. Damn him.

“Thanks Harp,” he states as he’s walking through the door.

He sits down on the couch and though he looks tired, he looks relieved.  This better be some damn good excuse. “I’m listening,” I say harshly. He keeps running over his face, clearly showing he’s nervous, but why?

“Okay look ….we haven’t discussed our pasts and I don’t want to divulge everything about my past right this second.  But I will tell you that I did not intentionally leave you. I had a family situation that I had to handle and I was on the phone in my bedroom trying to fix it.  Yes, I should have taken you along with me, but I never thought it would take so long and we haven’t discussed shit about our pasts so it’s not the way I wanted you to find shit out about me,” he states and when he’s done, he finally lets out a breath that clearly he was holding.

So he tells me this but tells me nothing other than he was dealing with a family situation.  I have no idea what it means or what any of it means.  I know family stuff with me sucks so I can only imagine, but Tuck isn’t messed up like me, well maybe he is, who knows.  I’m still mad.

“Tucker, you left me there for hours, not just a little while.  You took me to a party at your frat house and you vanished, so what the hell am I to think?”  I yell at him.

Tucker tilts my chin up so I’m looking into his eyes and goes, “I know I messed up and I am sorry.” He does look sorry, I’m just not sure I believe it.

“Whatever.  Now can I please go to bed, I’m exhausted?” I say while yawning. 

“Yes,” he says excitedly then continues on, “Do you work tomorrow?”

“No,” I say through another yawn.

“Can we hang out? I think we need to talk about some things,” he asks looking hopeful.

“I guess, now go,” I say sleepily.  As much as I don’t want to talk about the stuff he is going to want us to talk about, I know there is no more running away from Tucker. He is persistent, I give him that.  I shut the door and lock it and then head to bed and pass out.

I end up not waking up until 2 p.m., but considering the time it was when I went to bed, I’m not surprised.

At about 3 p.m. there’s a knock at my door and obviously it’s Tucker. I open the door and he walks in with a serious look on his face. Before I get the chance to say anything, “Why did you get home so late last night?” Wow does he seem angry.

“I told you I was hanging out with some people; again not that it is any of your business.  Tucker, if you came over here to have an attitude then you can walk right back out that door,” I say irritated. 

He apparently gets it and drops the rest of that awkward conversation.

“Sorry, how are you doing?” he asks all serious now.

“I’m fine.” He goes and sits on the couch gesturing for me to follow suit.  I do and sit on the opposite end from him. 

“Harper, we have been hanging out for some time and we hardly know each other.  Now I know I said we were going to start talking about our pasts little by little and clearly, I haven’t followed through and neither have you. But I meant it when I told you that I like you and I want to know all of you. I want to who Harper Lane is. So, we are going to start learning about each today,” he says as a statement not a question.

Ugh, I was so dreading this.  I knew it was going to come sooner or later and while Tucker is the closest thing to a best friend that I have ever had, it is still scary as hell to open up to someone. Then again, if I had to tell anyone, he would be the one I would want to tell my past shit to.

“Fine, where do you want to start?” I ask.

“Like where you are originally from, any siblings?” he states.

“I’m from a small-town in Virginia and I had an older sister.”  I wonder if he caught the past tense, but I don’t want to talk about her yet.  God, why did I agree to this?

“Okay good, see we are getting somewhere,” he says smiling. “I’m from Portland so it’s not too far from here. I grew up there and graduated and then came here. I have an older brother and a younger sister. That wasn’t so bad right?” he says with a smile on his face.

“I guess not,” I say. Not yet anyway.

From our previous conversation and hanging out we already learned each other’s favorite colors, movies, books, music, and a bunch of other crap. So this tells me that more of the harder questions are going to come quicker than I’d like.

“Okay Harp, why did you decide to come the whole way across the country to go to school here?” he asks with a smile on his face.

“I wanted to be a duck,” I say with a laugh.  This makes him laugh a full on belly laugh. He wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Nice try, as much as I would like to believe you wanted to be a duck, I doubt that was your reason,” he says sweetly.

“I hate this Tucker just so you know.  I wanted to get away from anything that was close to where I use to live and this was as far as I got.” I say that and let go of the breath I didn’t realize I was even holding.

“So you were running away,” he states, not asking a question. “Well, let me be the first to say that I am glad you picked here to run too.”  He has the cheesiest smile on his face.

“You’re such a dork!” I say as I throw a pillow at his head. He catches it and laughs some more.

“So, what do you want to know about me?”  He says looking at me all sexily.  This man is trouble, but damn if he isn’t great looking trouble.

Well since we are going all crazy questions here I ask, “Why don’t you do relationships?”

“Wow, going for the big questions huh?  Well Harp, that is something we are going to talk about later.  If I tell you why now, then you will know all the shit I don’t want to get into quite yet,” he says with a sincere look.

Clearly something happened to make him not want to divulge any information, but I let it go for now. “Okay sorry, how about….are you close to your family?” I ask changing topics.

“I used to be, but no, not anymore,” he says sadly and doesn’t elaborate, so I take it that he doesn’t want to talk more about his family right now either.

“Families are overrated anyway,” I say to lighten the mood. He looks at me and has a slight smile to his lips. 

“So Parker mentioned something last night…you two grew up together?” I ask trying to change the topic to maybe a better one.  But, by the look on Tucker’s face, it’s another sore spot. Crap.

“Yeah we did grow up together, we were really good friends until we came here,” he says solemnly.

“Oh well, do you think you would be good friends again sometime?” I ask hopeful for him.

“Probably not, shit happens and people change,” he states and has a sad look on his face.

“Sometimes people make mistakes too,” I state, not knowing if he made the mistake or knowing what even happened between the two of them. 

“You’re right, people do make mistakes, but sometimes those mistakes are unforgivable.  No matter how much you wish you could take shit back you can’t, so you move on,” he says with such a solemn look. Clearly, he misses his friendship with Parker.  Hmm, maybe I could help them become friends again….maybe?

“How old are your siblings?” I ask, changing the topic again.  “Trent is twenty-four and Tessa is nineteen. Lucky me, I was stuck being the middle child,” he says with a small laugh.

“How old were you when you lost your sister Harp?” He asks. So he did pick up that she passed. Why did I ask about the siblings? Crap! 

“Oh, umm, I was fifteen; she had just turned seventeen years old.”  This makes me drift off and start thinking about Allie and how she was my best friend. I remember her 17
^th
birthday; it was only two months before she died.  We had a birthday party for her at the bowling alley which was so much fun.  She seemed carefree and having the time of her life with her friends and with me.  The night went amazing; the pictures were hilarious to look at.  She seemed like her old normal self which I had missed for a while, not knowing why at the time. God, I miss her.

“Hey Harp, you okay?” Tucker asks with a worried look. 

I got lost in a memory of my sister; I forgot where I was. “Oh sorry, what did you say?”

“You just looked like you went somewhere else.  You sure you’re okay?” He says looking a bit worried.

“I’m fine, just got lost in a memory of my sister. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for that Harp. Do you want to tell me about her?” He asks sweetly.

“Not right now,” I say a bit more harshly than intended.

“That’s fine, why don’t we head out and get something to eat. I think we should take a break from our questioning anyway,” he says smiling.

“Sounds good to me, I’m starving.”

We head out and go to an Italian place not far from campus and sit in a booth near the corner. Unfortunately, we aren’t there long before two leggy blondes come over to talk to Tucker.  He looks just as uncomfortable as I feel right now.  Some people have no respect.  Clearly he is here with me, but it doesn’t stop them, I want to cuss them out, but I won’t.  I rather stay small and hidden than be the center of any attention.

After the girls still don’t get the hint, Tucker tells them to go away, that he’s not interested. “Sorry about that,” he says.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault you have dumb bimbo’s who can’t take a hint,” I say with a smug smile.

“Oh, you are something Harper Lane, you are something,” he says while smiling sweetly.

We eat our dinner in normal conversation banter which is refreshing considering our earlier conversation. It is so easy to talk to him and I realize how much I enjoy having him in my life. No, we don’t kiss or do any of that, but he’s like a best friend, well honestly, he’s like my only real friend.  I find it comforting though because Tucker is, well Tucker.

He could have any girl he wants and he’s spending his time with me. It makes me feel all girly and giggly inside. Gosh, I’m such a dork sometimes.

After we eat dinner, we walk back to my apartment.  Tuck tells me he can’t stay because he has a paper to finish that is due tomorrow. So we say our goodbyes and I head inside to start working on a paper that I have due later this week.

After a while I take a break and turn the TV on to a music station, it’s playing a girly pop song. I can’t help myself, I get up and dance around the room like an idiot.  I think about how the day went and how much I enjoyed hanging out with Tucker, minus part of our conversation. I can’t help the smile that’s plastered on my face.  I never remembered feeling this way about a boy before. The way my heart speeds up, the flip flops my stomach does, geez I am such a girl.  My sister would be laughing her ass off at me, but she would be up dancing around the room with me too.