Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1) (13 page)

“She wanted you to think he cheated on you with her?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t have believed it even if I’d walked in on them going at it. Ethan would never cheat. Even if he was single, he wouldn’t touch her.”

“Sounds just like my bitch-in-law. I wouldn’t touch her if my life depended on it.”

“Wow, we actually have something in common. We both hate a bitch named Kristy.”

We shared a laugh at the unfortunate coincidence. “I don’t have the fondest memories of school either,” he added.

“You mean you weren’t the quarterback of the football team and didn’t have a different cheerleader each day of the week?”

“You couldn’t be more wrong about me, but that describes my brothers perfectly. Let’s just say I had an awkward phase that lasted from puberty through my second year of college.”

“I’m sure the ladies would have overlooked the awkwardness if they’d known about that monster in your pants.”

“Probably, but those aren’t the kind of people I’d want to hook up with.”

“True.”

“Wait, is that the reason you went to my room with me that night?”

“No. I was actually a little scared of it when I touched it in the bar.”

“That’s interesting,” he said with a smug smile as he glanced over at Ethan. “So, why did you pick me up that night?” he asked.

“I was determined to score with someone. I figured a guy who was concerned with my safety was a good choice. I just didn’t have the courage to say something until you—um—pointed out your interest.”

“You’re gorgeous. Who wouldn’t be interested?” He ran the backs of two fingers down my cheek. His hand abruptly fell as he remembered our surroundings. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed.

“I had no reason to believe I would succeed that night. I’d only had one boyfriend my entire life, and I certainly never had any admirers.

“Were you a walking pimple, too?”

“No, I’ve pretty much looked the same since I was twelve. I doubt I’ll ever know how I ended up on the unpopular list, and I don’t really care anymore. They can all kiss my ass.”

I felt his eyes examine every inch of my covered body, as if remembering what I looked like underneath. “I am so hot for you right now.” He leaned in close to my ear. “Have you decided to accept my offer yet?”

“We barely know each other,” was my attempt to stall.

“I know you better than you think.”

“Prove it.”

“You’re the most feminine tomboy I’ve ever met. You look like a lingerie model, but you’re practically a dude on the inside.”

“You like dudes?” My relationship with Ethan finally made sense. I was the only girl he wanted because I was more or less a guy on the inside.

“I meant you’d be easy to hang out with. Most women would bitch about watching football all day Sunday, but you’d probably bitch if it wasn’t on. I also doubt you’re afraid to get dirty.”

“Well, you got me there. That’s just one piece of me, though.”

“You’re raising your niece for whatever reason. That tells me you’re selfless and loyal.”

“Anyone would do the same.”

“I’ve seen a lot since I started teaching. You’d be surprised at how many people don’t care about their own kids, let alone nieces and nephews. Look at you. You obviously didn’t get much sleep last night, yet you’re here for a school carnival.”

“Not by choice.”

“You could have bailed, but you didn’t. That shows that you are reliable. You’re here with your ex, who obviously hurt you, so you’re forgiving. You were with him for a long time, so you must believe in love, which is why I’m worried you won’t accept my offer. I’m also worried it will end badly if you do accept because you’ll end up wanting something I don’t have to give.”

“You don’t believe in love?”

“Not exactly. I love my family. I love cherry pie. I might even go so far as to say I love fucking. Romantic love is a myth; it’s society’s way of dignifying lust. I don’t buy into the notion of soul mates. Marriage is an unnecessary convenience. It’s only good for tax breaks and a convenient lay.”

“Wow. That doesn’t really help your case. Why would I want to sleep with a guy when there’s absolutely no possibility of a future?”

“For fun, of course. I just wanted to be completely honest with you from the beginning, so you know what you’d be signing up for.”

“Our shift is just about over, and we have somewhere else to be.” I got to my feet and brushed off my backside.

“Can we talk about this more some other time?” he asked. “Maybe I can refresh your memory of how good it can be? If nothing else, maybe we can work on the friendship part.”

“You can stop by the house tomorrow morning around nine.” I wanted to retract the words as soon as they left my mouth. “We really need to get going.” I headed toward my little girl; it was time to visit her mother.

Madison

“Is Peyton home?” Sawyer asked when I opened the door for him Sunday morning.

“No, I have to pick her up around elev—” Sawyer’s lips slammed into mine, preventing me from finishing my sentence.

“Good,” he said as he took my hand and led me to the couch. “Where is she?”

“She goes to church with her great-grandmother every Sunday morning.”

“You don’t go with them?

“I lost my faith a long time ago.” Time to move on. “Did you just come over to get laid?”

“I thought we could hang out, not that I would complain if things took a turn in that direction.”

“You’re confusing me. Friends don’t kiss like that, and I’d imagine friends with benefits only do when it’s a prelude to sex.”

“I wanted to kiss you, so I did,” he said. “You’re overthinking things.”

“You’re the one with all of the relationship issues. You can’t pull me in and keep me at arm’s length at the same time.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have labeled it. How about we come up with an arrangement that is suitable to both of us without using a predefined term?”

“We can talk about it, but I still need time to think before I make a decision.” More like I needed time to gather the courage to turn him down. Inviting him over was probably the stupidest thing I’d ever done.

“Fair enough. We touched on my first requirement yesterday,” he said. “If we do this, there can’t be any expectations for a future. We will take each day as it comes until this thing runs its course. Your turn to tell me one of your requirements.”

“I want to hear all of yours first. Start with the stuff that has no room for compromise.”

“Okay. I insist on sexual monogamy for the duration of our agreement. What you perceive as love, or any related emotions, will not be involved. I will kiss you and touch you when I feel like it, but I won’t lead you on or lie to you about my feelings.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “What are you thinking?”

“If we end up doing this, I think we should both be tested.”

“Why? I obviously didn’t give you anything the first time we were together.”

“I don’t know where your dick has been since then. I realize it’s probably too late, but, at least, if we’re tested, we’d know what we’re dealing with.”

“I promise you that I’m clean, but I have no problem getting tested if that will make you feel better.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been with someone else?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

“Long enough for a test to be accurate. I’d rather not discuss prior sexual encounters with the woman I’m trying to bed.” His fingers dragged along my collar bone as he brushed the rest of my hair out of the way. “So what’s the verdict?”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t think I can agree to all of your requirements.”

“Is there anything I can do to convince you?” he asked. His lips ghosted over the sensitive skin of my neck, lighting my traitorous body on fire.

“I guess a demonstration wouldn’t hurt.” I was in a lot of trouble.

*

I barely had enough time to get dressed and tame my just-fucked-hair before I had to pick up Peyton from Nana’s house. We had hotdogs and macaroni for lunch, and then straightened up the house for Brianna’s visit.

“Bri!” Peyton yelled as she ran toward the front door. She flung it open with enough force to put a hole in the wall if there hadn’t been a door stop in the baseboard to catch it.

I stood a few feet behind Peyton and soaked up her infectious excitement. “Come on in,” I said. I hadn’t noticed Charlie standing behind his daughter on the porch until he began to follow her inside. “Hey, Charlie.” I really was happy to have him back in my life. It was wonderful to have a connection to my past with Ryan gone and my relationship with Ethan so different. He pulled me into a hug. It wasn’t awkward even after all of the years apart.

“What time do you want to pick her up?” I asked.

“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted some company. I don’t have anything else to do today.” His hopeful expression was adorable.

“I would love some company. We haven’t really had a chance to catch up.” I was grateful to have a distraction from the memory of my morning with Sawyer.

“We’re gonna go play in my room,” Peyton announced. The two little girls giggled as they scampered up the stairs.

“I’m glad they get along so well. Bri hasn’t been this excited about anything since her mother died.” Charlie’s expression fell for a moment.

“Same with Peyton. She’s mostly kept to herself since we lost Ryan.” My heart twisted as I thought about my brother.

“Maybe we can make this a regular thing,” he said. The hope was back in his eyes. “Maybe Ethan can come over when he doesn’t have to work, and the three of us can hang out like the old days.”

“I’m sure he’d love that. He usually comes over when he gets off of work, which is around three on Sundays. I’ll text him and make sure he’s coming today.”

“I’m really glad you’re back, even if it’s under unfortunate circumstances,” he said.

“I am too. I missed out on so much when I was at school.” I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed Charlie. I felt comfortable with him—safe. Spending time with him wasn’t complicated, which was exactly what I needed.

Sawyer

I raised a brow at my little brother as he chewed his burger. “You’re telling me your wife
wants
you to go to a strip club? I find that hard to believe.” Finn’s wife was a crazy bitch, but what kind of woman actively encourages her husband to watch naked women grind on poles?

“She thinks it’ll earn her brownie points, or some shit like that. I wasn’t paying much attention; it’s easier to just agree with her. You’ve gotta admit, there are worse things than looking at naked chicks all night.” Finn had a valid point.

“Whatever. I’ll meet you there. Just don’t expect me to stick around very long.” I loved my adopted brothers despite their issues, but there was no way I could spend any significant amount of time around Kristy. My risk of alcohol poisoning increased exponentially with every minute I spent in her presence. “And you’re paying.” I waved the waitress over and ordered four more burgers with fries to go.

“What’s with all the food?”

“I need something to absorb the massive quantities of top-shelf scotch you’re buying me tonight.”

*

The sun was almost touching the horizon when I arrived at the upscale gentlemen’s club in the city. The large space was dim except for the bright spotlights focused on the stage that bisected the room. I spotted Thomas as he shoved a dollar into a stripper’s G-string. Of course my brothers and the bitch had front row seats. I kept my eyes down as I headed to their table.

I sat in the empty chair and pulled out my phone. I didn’t expect the message I’d received earlier to change; I just didn’t want to believe it was true.

Madison:
I can’t do it. Sorry.

“See the slut humping the pole at the far end of the stage?” Kristy asked the three of us with wicked glee. Thomas and Finn looked while I studied a drink menu. “I went to school with her. She’s such a loser. The only friends she had were her brother and his girlfriend. Her boyfriend was a mega nerd.” She took a sip of her fruity drink. “I’m not surprised she’s a working girl.”

“This is a strip club, not a brothel,” Finn corrected.