No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline (26 page)
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Authors: Brian Tracy
Tags: #Self Help, #Business, #Non-Fiction, #Psychology, #Inspirational
BOOK: No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline
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The more competent you feel you are to solve the problems and difficulties of daily life, the more you like yourself. The more you like yourself, the more confident and competent you become in solving even larger problems and getting even more important results.
In your work, your problem-solving ability largely determines everything you accomplish. People who are good at solving problems are some of the most valuable and respected people in every area. For this reason, success has been defined as “the ability to solve problems.” This also means that happiness is the ability to solve problems. Leadership is the ability to solve problems.
When you practice self-discipline and self-control in face of the inevitable and unavoidable problems and crises of day-to-day life, you become more competent and effective in everything you do. You will be respected and esteemed by everyone around you. You will experience a tremendous feeling of personal power and competence. In no time at all, you will become one of the most valuable people in your organization.
Action Exercises:1. Solving problems is like solving mathematical equations: It is learnable with practice and repetition. Start by determining the biggest problems facing you
today
.2. Accept complete responsibility for solving the problems you encounter in your daily work, and then think about the
solutions
.3. Define your biggest business or personal problem clearly. Write it down. What
exactly
is the problem?4.
Why
is this a problem? Could it be an opportunity in disguise? If so, what opportunity or lesson could this problem contain?5. What
else
is the problem? Perhaps the real problem is something else, something you might not want to face?6. What are
all
the possible solutions? What
else
could be a solution?7. Select the best solution that is available to you
right now
, and take action immediately.
PART III
Self-Discipline and the Good Life
Your ultimate goal in life is to achieve your own happiness. No one else can do this for you. This personal desire is the motivation behind almost every behavior. Moreover, happiness is more emotional and spiritual than it is a matter of acquiring material things. In this part, you will learn how the practice of discipline in the most important areas of your life can bring you more joy and satisfaction than perhaps any other quality.
Chapter 15
Self-Discipline and Happiness
“No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed.
No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined.
No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is
tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused,
dedicated, disciplined.”
—HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK
Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the true measure of your success in life. Nothing is more important. Nothing can replace it. If you accomplish everything of a material nature, but you are not happy, you have actually
failed
at fulfilling your potential as a human being.
failed
at fulfilling your potential as a human being.
In Chapter 4, I described how human beings are purposeful, striving toward achieving goals and end results. However, behind each goal lies another goal, and then still another goal, until you finally arrive at the “primum movum,” or first-moving force, in human life. This always turns out to be
the desire to be happy
. You can only truly be happy when you practice self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control. It is only when you feel that you are in complete control of your life that you are truly content.
the desire to be happy
. You can only truly be happy when you practice self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control. It is only when you feel that you are in complete control of your life that you are truly content.
In my book
Maximum Achievement
, I teach the importance of the Law of Control, which states, “You feel happy to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life. You feel unhappy to the degree to which you feel you are
not
in control, or controlled by other factors or people.”
Maximum Achievement
, I teach the importance of the Law of Control, which states, “You feel happy to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life. You feel unhappy to the degree to which you feel you are
not
in control, or controlled by other factors or people.”
Psychologists call this your “locus of control.” There are fifty years of research and hundreds of books and articles on this subject. They all conclude that stress and unhappiness arise when you feel controlled by outside circumstances. This is explained as the difference between an “internal locus of control” (happy) and an “external locus of control” (unhappy).
You have an
internal
locus of control when you feel that you are in charge, you make your own decisions, and what happens to you in life is largely determined by yourself. When you have an internal locus of control, you feel that you are behind the wheel of your own life and that you are in the driver’s seat. You feel that you determine most of what happens to you. As a result, you feel strong, purposeful, and happy.
internal
locus of control when you feel that you are in charge, you make your own decisions, and what happens to you in life is largely determined by yourself. When you have an internal locus of control, you feel that you are behind the wheel of your own life and that you are in the driver’s seat. You feel that you determine most of what happens to you. As a result, you feel strong, purposeful, and happy.
On the other hand, you have an
external
locus of control to the degree to which you feel that you are not in control or that you have little ability to direct your own life. For example, if you feel that you are controlled by an arbitrary or critical boss, but you cannot afford to lose your job because you have no savings put aside, you experience high levels of stress and anxiety. This causes you to do a poor job, which makes it even more likely that your difficult boss will fire you, and this very often brings about exactly the circumstances you fear.
external
locus of control to the degree to which you feel that you are not in control or that you have little ability to direct your own life. For example, if you feel that you are controlled by an arbitrary or critical boss, but you cannot afford to lose your job because you have no savings put aside, you experience high levels of stress and anxiety. This causes you to do a poor job, which makes it even more likely that your difficult boss will fire you, and this very often brings about exactly the circumstances you fear.
Another example is that you may feel you are controlled by a bad marriage or relationship from which you cannot escape. You may feel controlled by your bills, by the money you owe, and your obligations to maintain your standard of living. You may feel that you are controlled by your physical condition or lack of education. Many people feel that they are controlled by their past because of a difficult childhood or upbringing and that there is nothing they can do to change their situation.
Many people feel that they are controlled by their own personalities and that they are not able to change for the better. They say, “That’s just the way I am.” By saying this, they absolve themselves of all responsibility for exerting the necessary discipline and willpower to make the changes they know they need to make in order to live the kind of life they want to live and to be happy.
The key to replacing an
external
locus of control with an
internal
locus of control is for you to decide
today
to take complete charge of your life. Realize and accept that you make your own decisions and that you are where you are and what you are because of yourself. If there is some area in your life in which you are not happy, discipline yourself to do whatever it takes to change the situation.
external
locus of control with an
internal
locus of control is for you to decide
today
to take complete charge of your life. Realize and accept that you make your own decisions and that you are where you are and what you are because of yourself. If there is some area in your life in which you are not happy, discipline yourself to do whatever it takes to change the situation.
It is often the size of the
gap
between your present situation and the conditions and circumstances that you feel that you need to be happy that determines whether you are happy or unhappy. This is very much a matter of your own evaluation and decision.
gap
between your present situation and the conditions and circumstances that you feel that you need to be happy that determines whether you are happy or unhappy. This is very much a matter of your own evaluation and decision.
There is an old saying that “success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.” When your income and your life are consistent with your goals and expectations and you are content with your situation, you feel happy. If, on the other hand, for any reason your current situation is different from what you really want and expect, you will be discontented and unhappy.
This state of contentment can be constantly changing. When you start off in your career, an income of $50,000 per year can seem like a huge achievement. But once you reach this goal, you start to be unhappy because you are not earning $100,000 or more. Some people are unhappy earning a million dollars a year.
The interesting thing about happiness is that it is not a goal that you can aim at and achieve in and of itself. Happiness is a
by-product
that comes to you when you are engaged in doing something that you really enjoy while in the company of people who you like and respect.
by-product
that comes to you when you are engaged in doing something that you really enjoy while in the company of people who you like and respect.
Earl Nightingale, perhaps the most famous and respected radio commentator on success in history, said that “happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Whenever you feel that you are moving, step-by-step, toward something that is important to you, toward your most important goals, you automatically feel happy. You feel satisfied and content. You feel a tremendous sense of personal growth and well-being.
Self-discipline is essential to happiness. Self-discipline requires both that you determine clearly what happiness means to you and also that you work progressively each day toward the achievement of that ideal condition.
In my experience and teachings, I have found that there are
five
ingredients to happiness. A shortfall in any of these areas can cause stress, unhappiness, and a feeling of being out of control.
five
ingredients to happiness. A shortfall in any of these areas can cause stress, unhappiness, and a feeling of being out of control.
1. Health and energy.
This is perhaps the most important element of a good life. We strive for it all our lives. It is only when you enjoy high levels of pain-free health and a continuous flow of energy that you feel truly happy.
This is perhaps the most important element of a good life. We strive for it all our lives. It is only when you enjoy high levels of pain-free health and a continuous flow of energy that you feel truly happy.
In many cases, health is a “deficiency need.” This means that you do not think about your health very much until you are
deprived
of it. For example, you do not think about your teeth until you have a toothache. You do not think about your body until you have aches or pains of some kind.
deprived
of it. For example, you do not think about your teeth until you have a toothache. You do not think about your body until you have aches or pains of some kind.
You must use discipline and willpower throughout your life to achieve and maintain high levels of health and fitness. Chapters 16 and 17 cover these in more detail.
2. Happy relationships.
Fully 85 percent of your happiness—or unhappiness—will come from your relationships with other people. As Aristotle said, “Man is a social animal.” We are designed to function in society, working and living with other people at every stage of our lives.
Fully 85 percent of your happiness—or unhappiness—will come from your relationships with other people. As Aristotle said, “Man is a social animal.” We are designed to function in society, working and living with other people at every stage of our lives.
Your ability to enter into and maintain high-quality relationships with your spouse, children, friends, colleagues, and others is the true measure of the quality of your personality and your level of mental health. People with high levels of self-esteem and self-respect get along better with others and have much happier lives.
One of our biggest mistakes is to take our relationships for granted, especially our most important ones. We often don’t think about them until there is a problem, and then we think of nothing else.
3. Meaningful work.
To be truly happy, you must be fully engaged with life. You must be doing things that keep you active and give you a sense of fulfillment. If you are making a living, you must be doing work that you enjoy, do well, and for which you are well paid.
To be truly happy, you must be fully engaged with life. You must be doing things that keep you active and give you a sense of fulfillment. If you are making a living, you must be doing work that you enjoy, do well, and for which you are well paid.
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