No Turning Back (Full Circle) (17 page)

I roll out of the pool and drag myself to the locker room.  All the other girls do the same.

“So, if we have to come back early from break, who else do you think will have to do the same?” Georgia asks.

“Probably basketball I’m sure,” Tori comments.

“I mean, I hate to drive all the way home for like three days, but I was counting on fall break.  I miss home.  I don’t know about y’all?”  Georgia continues.

Yeah, I miss home, but mostly, I miss Cash.  He’s going to be upset when I tell him I won’t be home a full week.  I zone out to that thought, but am brought back to reality when Tori makes a smart comment about Joe staying with me. 

“What did you say, Tori?”

“I said I think somebody is getting more action than they are letting on, or maybe Joe’s gay?  ‘Cause if a guy looks that good and isn’t getting any, he’s gotta be gay!”

“Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but no, he’s not getting any from me, and I can assure you he’s not gay.   Because those lips, holy moley!  Y’all think those eyes make ya wanna melt?  You should feel those lips!”

“So, what’s the hold up, Char?  I mean he did stay in your room last night, and the way y’all were dancing at Hank’s, I thought you might have needed to get a room.  Just sayin’!” 

Tori cracks me up.  She has no problem putting it out there.  She’s definitely not quiet about her relationships with guys, and I guess she just expects that we are all like that.  I mean I’m no prude, but my situation is different. 

“Dang, Tori, give Char a break.  I mean not everybody puts their love life, or lack thereof, out there like you do, ya know?” 

Wow! I can’t believe that just came out of Georgia’s mouth.  She looks at me and smiles.  I totally get why she just did that.  She’s got my back. 

We get ready and head back to Kluft.  I’m beyond exhausted.  I can’t wait to shower and relax.  We all decide to grab a pizza and watch a movie.  Before we even press play, I get a text from Joe then Cash.  I can’t help but smile.  I find comfort in the fact that I have two guys who are willing to put their life on the line for mine, and I pray that the day never happens.

This week is filled with practice, practice, and more practice mixed with a little bit of class and a second to work with Joe on the Freshman Seminar project.  Joe and I have volunteered for four of the ten hours for our project by Saturday morning.

Saturday morning, Joe and I meet for breakfast before going to the local special purpose school.  Today there is a softball tournament to raise money for equipment that the students need for their adaptive physical education class.  The school for these students is great and meets all of their needs, but with so much technology these days, more can be done.

Joe and I arrive at the school and begin to set up the concession stand and donation table.  Joe’s coach is there, as well as mine, and before we know it, the stands are packed.  Taylor, a young boy with cerebral palsy, throws out the first pitch and it’s game on. 

I have never seen such a community pull together.  The teams were made of faculty from the school and parents and students on the other.  Students were each made a part of the game no matter their disability.  This is exactly why I loved the Special Olympics.  Every person can do something; you just have to figure out their strengths.  The game is full of excitement when a student gets a double and then due to an error, ends up a triple.  I’ve never seen a wheelchair move so fast in my life.

As the game comes to an end, Joe and I clean the concession stand and watch the last inning.  I enjoy watching these students, but the look on Joe’s face is priceless.  In fact, it’s almost as if this is kinda like home for him.  I need to make note of that.  I glance his way, and that is when I get caught.

“What, Squirrel?”

“Nothing, you just look like you’re having a good time.”

“Yeah, this is a great idea.  I haven’t done something like this in a long time.  It feels good to give back.”

Joe’s comment is more than just a comment.  I’m not sure what it’s about, but there is something there.

“Is there something you’re not telling me, Jackalope Joe?”  As I push in to his shoulder.

He looks at me and smiles.  I can tell he wants to say something, but I’m not sure if he will.

“Here’s a fact that you can add to your list.  I have an abundant knowledge of special needs.  It kinda hits home for me.  My sister had cystic fibrosis.”  Even though he is smiling I can see the tears building in his eyes.

I wrap my arms around his waist.  By one word in that sentence I know that there is a lot of pain associated with this story, but also a lot of great memories.

We finish watching the game and talk to the students.  I can see Joe’s face as well as some of the students’ faces light up when they are talking.  It is the small things in life that matter, and today has helped me see that.  I have a past, I’m not okay with it, but in the grand scheme of things, I will survive and it will be okay.

I watch as Joe gives a little boy a high five and invites him to their next home game.  He looks at his mom, and she thanks Joe for his kindness.

After everyone clears out, Joe and I finish cleaning.  Joe’s coach stays to help us and then signs our paper for Dr. Cope.  Well, that is one more item on the Freshman Seminar completed.  I have to say I enjoyed every minute of today and might just have to come back with or without hours for a project to do.

Our ride back to campus is quiet.  I can tell Joe has something on his mind.  I think it’s time that he starts to talk. I feel like he’s hiding something, but I don’t know what it could be.  I take a minute and think back to what it could be. I have no clue. 

I take my hand and place it on Joe’s leg.  He looks at me confused.

“Joe, I don’t know what’s going through your brain, but something is bothering you.  You can talk to me.  You should know that by now.”

“I know, but I just don’t know what to say.  I mean it could take all night,” he says as his voice breaks.  Those same glassy eyes begin to form, and my heart is breaking without knowing what is going on.

“Let’s not go back to campus yet.  You wanna go fishing?”  Joe looks at me and shakes his head no.  “Oh, we don’t have any poles anyway.  I got an idea.  You wanna go to the driving range?”

Joe’s face lights up.  With that hint of sunshine, we drive to the driving range.  As we pull up, I can see the excitement in Joe’s eyes. 

“So, you’re going to have to show me how to do this ‘cause I’m clueless.”

“Really?  I’d never guess?!” 
Smart ass!
  I put my hands on my hips and just stare at him.  I just hope I have beginner’s luck.

Joe goes to pay. We get a set of clubs and then walk to the range.  I am so dead. 

“How about I just watch?”

“Nice try, Squirrel, but I’m going to see what kinda swing you got going on there.”

After several failed attempts, I finally make contact with the ball, and I have to say I am shocked.  I did pretty well. 

“Well, you do know how to hit it!”  Joe says with a smile.  I just wink and knock the hell outta the next five balls that I hit. 

Joe stands there totally floored.  I think I just might have to help him pull his mouth off the floor.

“You are so full of it, aren’t you?  You’ve done this before!”

“Not this, I mean I don’t golf, but Cash and I use to have this game growing up where we would find a stick and see who could hit rocks, hay, pretty much whatever we could find to hit.  Basically it’s just like golf minus the club and ball.”  I smirk.

“Damn redneck games!” 

“Hey, who you callin’ a redneck?” I laugh.

He looks at me and points before mouthing the word
you
. 

“Hey, you know Joe, I can give you a lesson if ya like?”

“Oh, really?  I think I might like that.”  From the look on his face I know there is something else going on.  Surely, Cash isn’t right?

“Well, just so you know, I was going to surprise you, but I guess this has spoiled the fun.  You wanna know what your surprise is for class?”

He stops and looks at me, “But, of course, I do.”

“Quail Hollow.”

“Charley, you are full of shit.  There is no way you got me tickets to play at Quail Hollow.”

“Let’s just say it pays to know people.  And I know people.”

“Really? You’re not kidding are you?”

“Nope.  Piper’s brother works there.  He said he could get you in.  I’m not saying it will be eighteen holes, but hey, something’s better than nothing, right?”

We finish the basket of balls we have and then decide to go back to campus.  I feel like Joe might open up, but I’m wrong, he doesn’t.  I just wish I knew what was bothering him.

When we get back to campus, I reach for the door handle only to have Joe stop me from getting out of the Jeep.

“Thanks, I had a great time today.  I haven’t had that much fun helping others since before Lucy passed away.  We use to always go to those events, but she got so sick and my parents fell apart after she died.  I don’t talk about it much because after Lucy died my family died, too.  Thanks, Squirrel, for letting her live another day.”

I looked at Joe, and I fell apart.  I never knew he had a sister, let alone that she was special needs, then to find out she isn’t alive.  Right then, I realized that even someone who looks so put together on the outside can be completely shattered within.  Joe is shattered within, and I want to help him pick up the pieces.

I take my hand and reach for his.  There aren’t words to comfort him, but I have to try.

“Joe, I don’t know what to say.  But it’s okay to let her live.  I’m sure that is what Lucy would want.  I don’t know what it’s like to lose a sister, and I couldn’t imagine losing Tessa.  I’m here for you.  You can tell me the rest of the story when you feel up to it if you want.”

He shakes his head, and I give him a kiss on the cheek.  We get out of the Jeep, and Joe walks me to my room. 

“Thanks for a great day. I guess I’ll see you at Hank’s tonight?”  I look at him with a question in my eyes. 

“I was thinking about skipping Hank’s tonight.”

“Oh.”  I pause.  “Do you want company?”

“That’s up to you.”

At this point in time, I’m not sure what I should do.  I want to go to Hank’s, everyone does, but I know that Joe needs someone.  I realize then that I can’t go to Hank’s, so I make plans to stay.

“I’ll stay with you.  You want me to come to your room?”

“Yeah, just give me about thirty minutes.”

Joe heads back to his dorm room, and as I’m about to shut my door, Georgia comes creeping in.

“Char, what the heck was that about?”

“We’re just not going to Hank’s tonight.  It’s been a long day.”

“I’m just surprised.  I thought with it being right before break, you wouldn’t miss it and Joe either.  I mean, I swear whatever y’all don’t have going on as you say… I wish I had with someone.”

“You ain’t right, G!”

The girls all start partying it up, and I take a shower and partake in one drink for pregame purposes.  I mean I don’t want to totally miss out, ya know?

“Alright, y’all.  I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Whatever, we’ll see you in the morning!”  Anna states matter of factly.