No Turning Back (Full Circle) (19 page)

“Hey, you know me and bacon.”

Mom finishes cooking breakfast, and we all sit at the table to eat.  There is just something about a country style breakfast.  The café sure doesn’t even come close.  After breakfast, Tessa and I wash and dry the dishes.  As we are wiping down the table, I hear my phone chirp.

Joe: Hope you’re enjoying home.  Mtns r awesome.

This makes me smile, but I don’t know what to reply to it.  Tessa can see the wheels turning in my mind.

“Who was that, Char?”

“This guy named Joe.”  She looks at me like she could kill me.

“What?!” I say as I throw my hands in the air.  “Cash knows if that’s what you’re thinking.”  With that one comment, I know that I have opened up a topic I’m now going to have to fill in the blanks.

“Start talkin, Char.”  Before I start, I reply to Joe.

Me: :)

Then I turn to face the music with Tessa.

She is seated on the other side of the counter on a stool with her elbow propped up and her hand under her chin. 
Good gracious, she’s waiting
. I pull out one on the opposite side and take a deep breath.  I take my time explaining to Tessa about what has been going on with Joe, Cash and me.  I also tell her that Dylan is trying to continue to control me, but I have it under control and that is why Joe and Cash know of each other.  I only tell her what she needs to know.  I don’t want her to be in danger just due to knowing too much.  After I spill my guts, Tessa sits there with her arms folded.

“You know what?  I can’t believe you haven’t told me all of this!  No wonder you were so quiet when you were home for the Dixon-West game.  I thought it was just because you and Cash were getting so close.”

“Tessa, I told you we’re just trying to stay as close to friends as we can.  But I will say that I’m glad that Joe knows because I can at least breathe a little bit at school.”

Tessa sits there searching for words.  She removes her hand from her chin and sits up.

“If you think that I’m going to sit here and believe all that, you’ve got another thing coming.  I know you like them both no matter what you say, but if Dylan keeps up this shit somebody’s going to get hurt.  You have got to talk.”

I just shake my head no.

“Char, he’s just going to keep doing this.”

As I’m about to argue, Mom walks back into the kitchen.

“Who is going to keep doing what?”  I look at Tessa with pleading eyes.

“Oh, nothing, Mom.”  She stops dead in her tracks and gives us this bullshit kinda look.

“Girls, there are some things that a Mama knows, and I know right now that you aren’t telling me anything close to the truth, so talk.” 
Here we go again.

“Really, Mom, it’s nothing. Char and I were just talking about a guy that likes me at school and won’t quit putting notes in my locker.”

“Nice try.  Try again,” Mom says with her hands on her hips.

“Okay, I got a letter from Dylan.  He just won’t leave me alone.  I’m so done with him.”

“Char, sweet girl, I know the way things ended with Dylan were bad.  In fact, I know you haven’t told me why you really broke up, but just don’t let him get to you.”

The fact that my parents only know what I wanted them to about Dylan and me makes this hard.  I have to be extremely careful at how I word what I say.  They think I got tired of him controlling me; they have no idea that he raped me.  If so, he would have been dead a long time ago.  Some secrets are better kept that way, and I plan never to tell my parents.

“I know; it’s just hard when he keeps trying to walk back into my life in the littlest ways.”

Now that Mom is satisfied by the answer I have given her, she leaves Tessa and me alone to finish cleaning the house.

“Char, I can’t believe she keeps buying that crap!  One day you are going to have to tell her.”

“Not anytime soon.”  I take the rag from the counter, drape it across the sink and walk out of the kitchen.  I am done with this conversation.  I decide a little more farm therapy is in order.  I walk out the screen door and onto the porch, look out into the beautiful place I call home, take a deep breath and hustle down the steps in my boots to help Daddy in the barn.

I spend the entire day out on the farm.  It’s cold, there isn’t a garden to pick, but there is still work to do, not to mention that deer season is around the corner.

“Hey Daddy, you seen any big bucks around yet?”

“Yeah, the
one
is still around.  I swear that one is going to be the death of me.  He’s going on my wall one of these days.”

“That is if I don’t get him first.”

“That’s my girl!  How ‘bout you take this corn and go put it out near the fence line?  Check the stand, too.”

I load the corn on the Gator and then take off.  I make my way to the fence line.  I put out the corn and hear a four-wheeler in the distance.  As I begin to pull the bag of corn off the Gator, I look over my shoulder to see Cash approaching.  He turns off the engine and hops off.  “Char, let me get that.”  I stop exactly what I’m doing because to continue would be a bad idea.  Cash doesn’t do well with me trying to be independent.  I step back and let him do the work.  Once he has it off the Gator, I go help him put it out.  He looks and smiles my way.  We make a great team.

“So, the old man still trying to get the big
one
?”

“But, of course.  You know if I get him first, Daddy just might cry.”

“I know.  If I’m in a stand and got a good shot, he’s mine.  I know I won’t hear the end of it, Char, but it will so be worth it.”

We finish putting out the corn, then Cash follows me to the stand.  Dad has already put the stand on my favorite tree.  I just make sure that it’s at my right angle.  Just the thought of climbing that tree stand makes me excited and the thought of opening day makes me want to climb that stand right now.

“Char, it’s a few weeks away for gun season, slow down why don’t ya?”

“Sorry, Cash Money, you know how I am when it comes to hunting.  I live for opening day of gun season.”

“Yeah, speaking of that, what are you going to do?  You’ll be at school.”  I have already run through this scenario in my mind.  I can’t have a gun on campus, and I don’t have land.  I might have to come home.  As I let these thoughts work through my brain, I hear Cash, “Race ya to the house.” 
Damn him!  He cheated!

Cash beats me to the house by a mile.  When I get back, I give him a piece of my mind, and he just laughs.  He puts his arm around my shoulder, and we walk to the front porch swing.  We sit and he puts his hand on my leg while we swing back and forth.  I have spent so much time in this one spot and each time it gets better.  There is just something special about an old farmhouse with a front porch swing that looks into the beautiful country.  That is an experience that everyone should have at least once.

“Cash, I think I could stay like this forever.” 
Forever.

“Me too, but I have to get home soon.  What you got planned tomorrow?”

“Helping Daddy, I guess, and Piper mentioned some party at the pool hall.”

“She’s not been home in a few months and can still know what’s going on.  I was going to see if you wanted to ride with me?  Piper can too if she wants.”

“I’ll check with her and see.  I think she wanted to go together, but maybe I can just ride home with you?”

“That’ll work.” Cash takes his hand and squeezes my leg.  “I’ll call later.  I love you.”  He kisses me gently and stands up.  “I love you, too.”  I wave bye as he walks to his four-wheeler and rides off into the country sunset.

When I can no longer see Cash, I finally decide to get off my rear and head into the house.  I walk up the staircase to my room and text Piper about tomorrow.  She’s good with us going together and me catching a ride home with Cash.  We then decide to talk after while about plans for tonight.  I then realize that I have another missed text from Joe.

Joe: Hope everything ok haven’t heard from u

Me: I’m good been working on farm, exhausted!

Joe:  See you Sunday :)

Me: : )have fun!

I put my phone on my dresser, grab a change of clothes and then take a quick shower.  I don’t know what tonight will bring, or if I will have any plans, but I’m definitely not going smelling like the farm.  For all I know Piper and I could have a total girl’s night at her house and eat a gallon of cookie dough ice cream. 

As I’m drying my hair, Tessa comes into the bathroom, closes the door, and hops onto the counter.  She has a look of worry all over her face.  I’m not sure what it’s about, but I’m almost positive that I can guess. 

“Tessa, what’s up?  I know you have something on your mind.”

“Char, I’m worried about you.  You have got to talk to someone about all this Dylan mess.  He’s not going to stop.  I’m scared he’s going to hurt you again.”

“Stop right there, Tess!  He’s not going to get anywhere near me.  I’m making sure of that.  I have Cash and Joe to help watch out.  Have you heard any talk about him at school?”

“Not much, except that he’s still on full scholarship at Ridings University.  I know like you said before that’s Division I and Southern’s Division II, but I can’t help but feel like he’s gonna show up somewhere.  I don’t think he’s home now though.”

“Hey, will you grab my makeup for me?”  Tessa nods and hands it over.  “Well, I’m glad that he’s not here.  I want to be able to enjoy break without thinking he’s going to show up.  What you doing tonight?”

“I was gonna see if you wanna hang out, maybe go to a movie or something, but looks like you got plans already.”

“Nah, Piper and I are trying to figure something out, but we got as far as cookie dough and a movie.  I’d love for you to hang with us if you want.”

“Of course, you had me at cookie dough!”  She says with a wink.

“I don’t know why I’m getting all dolled up to sit with y’all two tonight.”

“I do!  You’re hoping Cash shows up later or better yet Joe!”  I throw my hairbrush at her and she ducks. 

“You suck!”

Then the door swings open, “Who sucks?  I got tired of waiting to hear from you so bam here I am!”

“Piper, you never cease to amaze me.” 

“Oh, I’m even better than you thought!  I have your favorite movie and cookie dough already waiting!  Only thing that would make it better are a pair of fluffy bedroom slippers and Choice Cherry Gold.”

“I can help you girls with all of that!”  Mom yells as she puts towels in the linen closet.

I’m so glad she didn’t hear my earlier conversation.  Tessa and I look at each other with that same exact thought.  We make our way to my room, put in
Sweet Home Alabama
, peel off the lid to the ice cream and dig in.  No. Bowl. Necessary.  Mom brings up the drinks and the slippers.  I mean really, where did she get those?  Oh wait!  This is my mom we’re talking about!

“Y’all girls have fun, and I’ll have breakfast in the morning.”  She pulls the door to, and we enjoy a night of just us girls.

“Char, how the hell does your mama always have anything you can think of?  I mean does she own her own thrift shop?”

“Pipe, I have no idea, but she always comes in handy.”

“Do you remember that time we had to dress up like Medieval Knights, and she was all like, give me fifteen minutes and I’ll have a costume for ya?!”