No Turning Back (Full Circle) (16 page)

On his phone is a picture of Joe and me asleep in my bedroom with minimal clothes on and below it is a picture of me in my bedroom with Dylan on top of me.  The caption reads,
“I had her first.”

“Charley, please talk to me.  I don’t know who this is or what it’s about.”   I shake my head no.  I don’t want to relive it; I don’t want to talk, but I have no choice.

Joe pulls me into his shoulder, and I cry. When I feel like I can manage to get the words out, I say, “I’m ready.”

“Have you ever heard of Dylan Sloan?” 

Joe nods his head yes.  “He’s a really good swimmer, right?”

“Yeah, he’s also my ex.  We started dating over a year and a half ago.  One night when my parents we’re out of town, we went to a party.  I wouldn’t sleep with him.... um....”  I pause.

“It’s okay Charley, you can trust me.” 

“I know I can.”   I have to get this out fast.  “He drugged and raped me.”

Joe doesn’t say a word. He just looks at the floor board.  “I don’t know what to say, Charley.  I mean, I knew you were timid about sex and stuff, but now I know why.  Did he get in trouble for it?”

I shake my head no.  I can see the anger building in Joe then he pounds the steering wheel. 

“Damnit, Charley, he needs to pay for what he did to you!”

“There’s more.”  He looks at me like he can’t believe it.  “I told you my parents were gone.  We have this stupid goat, Joker, who had been jumping the fence to Cash’s farm.  I was supposed to check on him, and after that happened, I couldn’t.  I texted Cash for him to check on Joker, and he knew something was up.  Cash found me.”

Joe sat there for what felt like an eternity.

“Char, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say.  Cash is the only one that knows everything about that night.  That is why we are so close.  But there’s more, on my birthday I got an envelope from him.  I didn’t open it until I went home.  It had picture of all of my friends off at college and.... me and you at Hank’s that first night.”

“That son of a bitch!  I’m going to kill him!”

“Uh, no, you’re not.  Those pictures aren’t on campus.  This is his way of trying to get a rise outta you.”

“Charley, I think it’s time I talked to Cash.” 
Oh shit.  Here is my life about to be put out there on a silver platter.

I shake my head yeah and dial his number.

“Hey Char-coal, what’s up?”

“Um, Joe wants to talk to you.”

“Char, what’s going on?  He did something didn’t he?!”

“Yeah, Joe got a Facebook message, and it’s worse than the last time.”  I don’t want to go into detail, but I have to explain it to Cash.

“Char, I’ve kept my mouth shut. We’ve hid secrets too long.  I’m going to kill him if I see him.  I’m just warning you right now!”

“Cash, please!  I’m begging you!”  Joe grabs my phone from me.

“Hey Cash, this is Joe.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah.”

Cash and Joe talk things out, and I sit there in the dark.  Finally, Joe puts it on speaker.

“Listen Char, here’s the deal.  I’m not there, but Joe is.  He’s got your back while I’m here.  He is going to make sure that you stay safe.  Honestly, I’m glad he knows.  I can actually sleep at night.”

“Cash, I’m so sorry. I never wanted all of this.”  I just weep.

“Char, it’s not your fault.  He’s a total ass, and one day he is going to pay for all of this.”

“I love you.”  Oh gosh, I forgot Joe was with me.

“I love you, too.  Now be safe and go to Hank’s.  Joe’s got your back.  Call me tomorrow.”

I hang up and look at Joe.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“What?  The
I love you
?”  I nod yes.  “Squirrel, it’s okay.  I know you love him, and I understand it now.”

“You ready to head back now?” I ask him.

We drive back to Southern, get ready for Hank’s and start to pregame in Caroline’s room.  I notice that Joe doesn’t take a beer.

“You can drink one.  I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure? And just so you know, you’re never getting out of my sight!”

At our usual 11:30, we roll out to Hank’s, now in the Love Machine.  Joe keeps his promise and doesn’t let me outta his sight.  He even walks me to the bathroom.  We dance all night, but tonight we dance even closer.  The fact that there are fewer secrets between us only makes us closer.  When “Let’s Get it On” plays, there’s no denying that he’s staying with me tonight, and everyone in Hank’s knows it, too.

Chapter 10: The Project

I wake up to snoring in my ear and arms wrapped around my body. 
Joe.
  I can’t help but smile.  He didn’t leave me last night. Hank’s was awesome, even with the events of yesterday, I am still enjoying life.  I will not let Dylan Sloan ruin my life. 

I try to move out of Joe’s arms, but he only holds me tighter.  My phone begins to ring, and I know by the ringtone it’s Cash.

“Hey Cash,” I say with a yawn.

“Mornin’ Char.  How did it go last night?”

“We had a great time.  Just a normal Saturday night at Hank’s.  You have got to go with me one night.  I’m tellin’ ya, it really is where redneck meets ghetto fabulous.”

Cash is laughing on the other end, “Char, you sure do have a way with words.  So, how is Joe?”

“Um... he’s okay, I think.”

There is silence on the phone.

“Is he there with you?”

“Yeah, but Cash he just wants to keep me safe.”

“I understand that Char, but I don’t like it.  My arms are the only ones that you belong in.  I mean, I don’t mean to be an ass, but I can’t help but get a little jealous that someone else gets to hold you.”

I look at Joe who is still asleep, and decide I might need to sneak out to talk to Cash.

“Hey hold on, Cash Money, I’m going to walk out in the hall.”

“Um, no!  You keep your ass in that room.  Don’t go anywhere without someone.  I mean it, Char.  I will never forgive myself if something happens to you.”

“Okay, okay.  Well, can I call you back later?”

“Yeah, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I hit end on the phone and get a Choice Cherry Gold out of the fridge.  I open it and take a swig.  When I’m about three gulps in, I get the begeezes scared out of me by the sound of Joe’s voice.

“So, that was weird, huh?”  He says as he’s lying shirtless on the bed with his arm propping up his head and smiling.

After I collect myself and quit coughing, I nod my head yes because talking is still questionable at this point.

“I hope I didn’t make that uncomfortable for you two?”

“No, I just didn’t want to wake you.”

He looks at me with a smirk, “You sure?”

“Yeah, but I do need to talk to him alone.  What you got planned today?”

“Not much. This is totally a different subject, but I was thinking about the volunteering we have to do.  Coach was talking about a community event next Saturday.  I thought it would be cool to use it.  In fact, if we went to the special purpose school on Wednesday and Friday, we could invite them and we’d be finished with the project.”

“Yeah, I love that idea.  I wish that we had this class next semester when Special Olympics takes place.  I just loved volunteering for that back home.”

“Charley, you really have the heart for those kids.  Maybe that’s what you should do with your life.”

“I just don’t want to be a teacher.  I like the volunteering and working one on one.  I can still do all that when I run the farm, ya know?”

“True.” 

Joe throws the comforter off him and grabs his shirt from last night.  Oh that boy has a body and those abs are like an old washboard.
I could so rub my hands up and down them. 

“Hey Joe, so how are we going to do this whole thing?  I mean the whole you’re with me all the time?  You know that’s not possible with practice and different classes.”

“Char, is there anyone on this hall that has a clue about Dylan?”

I take a minute to think.  No one knows about Dylan.  Oh wait, Georgia knows of Dylan, but not the situation.

“Georgia was with me when I got the envelope, but I didn’t open it.  She knows who Dylan is because she’s a swimmer of course.”

“I know you’re not going to like this, but I think she needs to know some of what is going on.  That way a girl knows.”

“Joe, I don’t know.  The fewer people who know, the better.  I don’t want word getting out.  He already has eyes on me.”

“Go see if she’s up yet.”  It wasn’t a question, it was a demand, and I walked myself out the door and across the hall to her room.  No she wasn’t up, but when I knocked, she came to the door with messy hair and an old t-shirt.

“Dang, Char.  You’re up early.”

“Yeah, can you come to my room a sec?  I need to talk to you, if that’s okay?”

She started to walk across the hall.

“Georgia, you might wanna put some shorts on.  Joe’s in there.”

She had the OMG-deer in headlights-make your eyes wanna melt-boy is in there look.

I just smiled.  She got dressed and came to my room.

“Hey, Georgia,” Joe says.

“Hey, so what’s up?”

Joe looks at me.  I can feel everything inside me begin to shake.  Why the hell did this happen to me?  Why do I have to explain this again?  Why is he still controlling me?

“You remember when I got that envelope for my birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m going to tell you why it’s a big deal, but you have to promise not to say a word.”

“I swear, Char.  I won’t tell a soul.”

I take a deep breath, and Joe puts his hand on my leg and squeezes, giving me a little reassurance. 

“Okay, I dated Dylan a year and a half ago.  One night when my parents were out of town, he put something in my beer at a party and raped me.”  Saying the words again were hard but almost freeing at the same time.  It was like each time the words were said I felt more alive. Free.

“Char, I’m so sorry.  No wonder you freaked at the post office.”

“So, here is where things get a little freaky for sure.  I opened the envelope at home with Cash, it had pics of all my high school friends at college and Joe and me at Hank’s that first night.  He’s keeping tabs, but then he went further and sent Joe a FB message directly.  He’s a sick bastard, and I don’t want anyone to get hurt like I did.”

I can tell that Georgia wants to talk but unsure of what to say.

“I think you need to tell someone.  I mean if you are in danger, others are in danger, you need to.”

“I can’t Georgia.  No one knows about what happened to me except Cash, Joe, my sis only knows parts, and now you.  There is more to the story, but I’m keeping it to myself for now.”

Joe realizes I’m struggling and decides to chime in.

“Georgia, I talked to Cash yesterday.  We are going to keep our eyes on Charley at all times.  I just need someone to know what’s up when I’m at practice or in my room.  A girl needs to know, and since the season is about to start, I thought you’d be the best bet.  You’re trustworthy.”

Georgia presses her lips together and moves her mouth from side to side.

“Okay, but Charley, if something else shows up, we’ve got to tell someone.  This is only going to get worse.  I mean, why do you think he keeps messing with you? 

“He always had a way of controlling me.  I mean, he was hotness in one hot tattooed swimmer’s package.  He was what every girl at Dixon High wanted, and when I got him, I was just completely pulled into his charm.”

“Girl, I got your back.  Let me know if you need anything, and you can always talk to me.”

“Thanks, girl!”

“Well, I hate to break up this girl talk, but I’m going to have to get ready for practice, which I thought you have practice, too?”

Georgia decides to give us a minute and walks back to her room.

Joe puts on his shoes, looks in the mirror and grabs his keys and wallet.

“Thanks, Joe, for everything.”

“Listen, I’m just glad you talked to me.  I had no idea what you were going to say when I showed you that message.  I knew it couldn’t be like it seemed.  If you need me, call me no matter what.  This is all going to be fine, and if not, Cash and I are going to kill him.  I don’t know why he can’t let you go. Well, I can kinda see.  You are an amazing girl with a lot going for you.  Charley, you don’t even realize it most of the time.”

He walks towards me, pulls me close and holds me tight.  I breathe in his scent, but say nothing because there are no words to express my feelings and gratitude for what he has done for me.

After Joe leaves, I call Cash back.

“Hey, Cash, sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s okay. So, y’all had a good night, huh?”  I can hear the worry in his voice.

“Cash Money, nothing happened.  We had a great time at Hank’s, but Joe didn’t want to leave me alone after everything that happened.”

“Char, I get that, and believe me that if something had... I would have already known.  Your voice tells me much more than your words will ever say.  It always has.  Just know that I wish that was me with you.”

“I know.  I can’t explain how I feel.  Cash, I love you.  I have since I was four, but I do like Joe.”

Cash starts to interrupt me when I cut him off.

“But, I think after last night, I don’t know if Joe would ever try to pursue me due to us.  I am okay with that, I think.”

“I’d love to believe that, but Charley, I’m a guy and I think like a guy.  If he likes you like I think you might kinda like him, he’s not going to give up.”

“Whatever you say, Cash.”

“So, what you got going on this week?”

“We got practice, and I’m sure since Coach let us have a few days off, she’s going to kill us.  We have a meet coming up before Thanksgiving. Oh, and Joe and I are going to do the service project for Freshman Seminar.  I’m so excited about it!  We’re going to work at the special purpose school.”

“Hopefully you’re wrong about practice, but I doubt it.  Char, you are so good with those kids.  You know, you have a gift with them. I just always loved going to Special Olympics with you.  I hate to cut it short, but I gotta get ready for church.  Make sure you text me later.  I love you Char-coal, and I’m so glad that you have support there.  I do miss you like crazy and when you get home for break, you’re going to be in my arms.”

Eeeekkkkkk!  Just the thought of those arms make me weak.  When I thought that I was too good for Cash, that I wanted the popular guy, I soon realized that there is nothing better than a good ‘ol country boy.

“I miss you, too. Love you,” I say as calmly as possible.

“Love you more, Char.”  We hang up.  I walk across the hall to Georgia, and we have a little girl talk.  I am glad that I have her, and it’s like I said before.  From day one, I knew she was going to play an important role in my life.  I knew I could trust her, and I’m glad to know she knows most of the story. 

Practice is a bitch.  I think Coach is enjoying this way too much.  When we think that practice is coming to an end, she calls out one last set. 
Damn.
  The last set wasn’t as bad as I thought, but it could be due to the fact that my limbs are completely numb.  As we finish the final lap, Coach blows her whistle and has us meet at the end of the pool. 

“Girls, I hope that you enjoyed your weekend because it’s probably going to be the last fun one for a while.  We got our first meet the week before Thanksgiving.  I need you all to focus and get ready because it’s going to be a big one.  We haven’t beaten Livestone in over five seasons.  I know that with the talent on this team, we are going to shock the hell out of them.  Now, y’all get out of here, and I’ll see you in the morning.  Oh, and before I forget, plan on making your fall break shorter than planned ‘cause ladies, we gotta
workout
.” She sings the workout like
She’s sexy and she knows it! Ha!