No Wasted Tears (29 page)

He smiled, but there was sadness in his eyes as he did so, sending her heart knocking against her ribs. She quickly turned to unlock the door and pushed it closed before she did something stupid. She double checked the lock and squeezed her eyes tight,
praying
for
safety.

Chapter 26

Adam was restless when he returned home. He had a shower, turned on the television, tried to listen to some television ministers, and turned it off again. His body was tired, but his mind
kept circling, thinking about the conversation he’d had with
Destiny. His decision to go over to her house was last minute. He didn’t even finish listening to the information he was being given on the phone. He just wanted to be there for her to help in any way he could. But she’d pushed him
away.

Adam leaned back in bed. What was it that had Destiny so afraid? Didn’t she know he was just trying to be a friend? Surely she wasn’t going to keep him out of her personal life or end their friendship. He rejected that thought as soon as it occurred. He switched the light off around midnight. He had service in the morning. By two he was still staring at the ceiling. Sleep use to be a rare commodity in his life. But now he usually had no problems resting. When he was addicted to porn, he was used to being awake when most of the world wasn’t, but he didn’t like
it.

He rolled onto his side. Back in the old days if he’d had trouble sleeping, he would have opened his laptop and find all he needed to keep him company. But this was a new day and he was a new man. A frown formed on his face as he thought about the conversation they’d had earlier. They needed to clear the air because this was beginning to be confusing to him. One minute she was eating brunch with him and the next she was pushing him away. She was important to him. Very. And he was determined to fix whatever had gone wrong between them if she gave him the
chance.

Lying in her bed Destiny couldn’t help but to think of how cruel it would be of her to continue to take advantage of Adam’s generous and caring nature when she wasn’t ready for their relationship to go any further. It didn’t matter what her heart was saying or what the dates they had were like. Tonight proved that life could be random and unpredictable. Maybe it was God’s way of telling her she wasn’t ready for any relationship. Knowing that Stanley could possibly be the one harassing her didn’t mean she should or would deliberately ignore the trouble it would cause for Adam or his church. And Stanley certainly qualified as trouble. All she wanted was a peaceful steady life. Not one with surprises or uncertainties. She’d had enough of that in her life. Adam had told her in a conversation that God would take care of those he loved. So with that she drifted to
sleep.

A scream jolted Destiny awake from her restful
sleep.

She bolted upright, scrambled to a sitting position against the headboard, and clutched the covers to her chest. Her heart thudded in her ears. Sweat covered her skin. Her gaze searched the bedroom room for any signs of danger. The scream echoed inside her
head.

Sharp pounding at the door sent her stomach plunging with fear.

“Destiny!”

Then the banging got
louder.

She knew that voice. It was
Cynthia.

Jumping up from the bed she ran for the door, which she locked earlier. Her fingers scrabbled with the lock until it finally gave way. She yanked the door
open.

Tears sprang to her eyes. “Cynthia.”

“Are you okay?” Her gaze carefully swept the darkened room beyond her shoulder. “You
screamed.”

It had b
een her that had scr
eamed.
“I
did?”

Feeling foolish for alarming everyone, she tried for a smile. Her lips quivered. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s everything that has been happening lately. It was another dream about Stanley coming after
me.”

Cynthia smoothed a hand over her hair. “He can’t hurt you now and if anything happens the police will be able to handle it. No one is going to hurt
you.”

She wanted to believe that. Needed to believe that. “You can’t make that promise. That’s not something you can
control.”

Her eyebrows drew together in a frown. “I understand that, but God can do everything; he will protect
you.”

“I know that, and I prayed before going to bed.” She squeezed Cynthia’s
hand.

“God is in control.” Dropping her gaze to the front of her pajamas she almost
whispered.

“Lord, sometimes, it’s so hard to…remember and trust. Help me do
both.”

Confessing that out loud lifted a weight off her shoulders. She hadn’t realized how much she needed someone in her life she could talk to without feeling she’d be judged. Cynthia wouldn’t judge her. She was sure of it. Adam had been right—counseling was good but she needed the help of friends as
well.

Cynthia gave her a wry smile. “Believe me, I understand.” Cynthia hurt for her, for the pain she carried because of her abuse. Cynthia looked her in the eyes and
said,

“We’re quite a pair.” Turning she gave her sister friend a
hug.

“You should try to get some sleep,” she
said.

This time Destiny didn’t lock the door. If she trusted God then she had to have enough faith to believe he would keep her
safe.

She had made Adam angry last night. Worse, she didn’t know if he’d given up on
her.

Destiny paced her bedroom, her mind racing with a million thoughts, none of them pleasant. If it weren’t Sunday she would have stayed in bed wallowing in pity. Had she done the right thing with Adam? She wasn’t sure, didn’t dare to speculate it was over and she had been honest with
him.

She wanted to blame stress on her lapse in judgment. But the truth was, Adam had a way of making her forget all the reasons why getting involved with him wasn’t a good
idea.

“God, can you help me out, tell me what to do? That’s all I want. Some hint that will help me understand why You brought him into my
life.”

But she knew God didn’t work that
way.

Frustrated, she walked into her bathroom to get ready for church. She couldn’t spend all morning thinking about him. But she did and now she had to rush to morning
service.

As she opened the door to leave the house, she was thankful for the light of day. She was ready for a wonderful worship experience. As she drove she bobbed her head to the gospel song on the radio “Oh, Happy Day,” which brought back a memory of her childhood with her aunt as they prepared to go to Sunday school. She’d been thirteen, old enough to be in the adult choir, and they sang that song on several
occasions.

Reaching for and opening the sanctuary door, she let her gaze wander to the crowd inside. A typical Sunday morning at Greater Community with people passing by in the lobby, some hurrying to find places to sit and others meandering, talking about the weeks they’d
had.

A young boy dawdling behind his mother stopped to stare at Destiny. She’d seen him on several occasions. She smiled and he lifted his hand in a shy wave. With a short laugh, Destiny turned her attention back to sanctuary. She walked in looking for a seat close to the
front.

He’d been keeping an eye on her this morning, but she seemed to have
recovered from his impromptu visit. Adam didn’t think he’d ever forget the flash of relief he’d seen in her eyes when she’d walked through the door of the sanctuary and looked at him.
I can’t los
e her, not when I’ve
just found her.
He wasn’t sure where that thought had come from and there was no time to analyze his feelings. He’d played it cool for her sake, but he’d been hard pressed
not to do something foolish like leaving the pulpit to acknowledge her presence,
especially since he wasn’t even sure she was going to come this
morning.

The only thing that mattered at the moment was his sermon, but Destiny was there right now. He thought to himself, “Please, God, please, don’t let her end what you’re trying to do before we began.” He didn’t know what would happen, but as he walked to the podium he vowed he’d ask her to accompany him to his parents weekly Sunday
dinner.

Chapter 27

It took some fancy footwork but he had convinced her to join him at his parent’s house for dinner. He reflected on what she said immediately after he asked. “Before we leave, I wanted to say something about yesterday.” He had groaned theatrically and clutched his stomach as they stood in his outer
office.

Giving him a short chuckle, she said, “I’ll be quick, I promise. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since I moved to Seattle and for last night. The way I was feeling could have been a disaster for us, a huge setback, but I can truly say God spoke to me through the sermon you preached this morning. “‘Finding Strength from God in the Dark’ it really gave me the courage to walk in this season of my life. All I’ve ever wanted was to be independent. A new relationship never crossed my mind. This thing that’s happening between you and I, wasn’t my dream, but since I’ve been saved, I see that God orchestrates things for our good. Although I was comfortable in my past, it was comfortable discomfort. No longer will I be a slave to my
past. I will always remember the kindness and generosity you showed me last night.
From the bottom of my heart, I want to say, ‘thank
you.’”

She stood there looking at him. He was watching her with warm
eyes.

“Destiny, all I want is what’s best for you. I want to be in your life, but I’m willing to wait. I want you to trust me and trust us. The only way you will be able to do that is for me not be overbearing and let you move in this relationship at your own pace. I’m willing to do
that.”

So a half hour later here they were at his parents’ house with him opening her car door. Destiny was happy that Adam decided they would arrive ahead of the other guests for the Sunday dinner with his family. She had seen them on several occasions and even exchanged hugs, but she still had not been officially introduced as Adam’s friend. Destiny could do nothing but stare in disbelief at the beautiful home. It was a large two-story brown brick home. The windows were large with beautiful shutters, giving the house a warm curb appeal. There were columns that surrounded a wraparound porch.The hedges and trees were trimmed beautifully. She wasn’t surprised by the beautiful home, but she was surprised to see his parents coming out to greet
them.