Only You (A Sweet Torment Novel) (11 page)

Now I was intrigued. Mostly because, for the breezy, relaxed sort of guy Leo typically was, he was now kind of brooding. Pissy almost.

“Don’t care to share then?” I pressed.

“Would you like to tell me about your family?”

I folded my lips and he smiled. “Touché,” I said. “But . . .” I took a step closer, because for whatever reason, the look on his face, something that resembled pain, wasn’t sitting well with me. The need to know, to fix that look, surfaced.

“I’m a good listener,” I said. “If you ever want to talk.”

His expression was serious, but he reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “Who listens to you, angel?”

The sentiment made something shift in my chest. He’d called me angel only once before, and it was the night at the bar, when I was wrapped around him. The memory, along with the endearment, chipped away another piece of the ice in me.

My brow furrowed and I looked at him. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I mean,” he shifted his hips so that they brushed against mine and I forced my heart rate to stay even. A battle I was losing. “You seem to listen a lot. I watched you in there tonight. You’re good with people, adapting and working a room.”

I smiled because it was the second stellar compliment he’d dished tonight.

“But”—his face fell and I couldn’t figure out why he seemed disappointed—“do you ever slow down? Be yourself?”

“What makes you think I’m not being myself right now?”

“Because I saw you—”

“Yeah, yeah,” I dismissed. “That night at the bar. Are you still holding on to that?”

“You going to give me something else to hold on to?”

He was right. Even my best friends had no idea what was going on in my life. No idea of what had gone on. Even Amy didn’t know the extent of my past and how badly it affected me. It wasn’t their fault. I knew they cared. I just couldn’t admit to certain things, past or present. And the reason was simple: What if they didn’t believe me? It was a risk I couldn’t take. Because it’d break my heart. But Leo? He didn’t know the details of my life, and he didn’t need to.

Yet somehow he saw me. Tapped into a part of me that was long neglected and I both liked and hated him for it. While pieces of his praise and trust made me feel stronger, it also made me feel weaker. Made me nervous, because he was slowly shifting into something I didn’t want to lose and someone I didn’t want to disappoint.

“You caught me on a bad night when you saw me at the bar,” I said softly.

He cupped my hip and brushed his thumb along my stomach. “I didn’t think it was so bad . . . aside from your leaving.”

I looked up at him because his tone was gruff but his eyes were haunted. “What happened in Greece?”

He stared at me for a long moment, then finally said, “Something I had no control over and no way to fix.”

My chest stung as I looked in his eyes and gently gripped the lapel of his tux. “I understand the feeling.”

His steady stare ate me up like an undertow, sucking me into its depths. He leaned in, but before his lips touched mine, he stopped.

My breath caught because the thought of him pulling away was too much to bear, especially when I wanted to wipe that sad look off his face. I grabbed his lapel tighter and tugged him until his mouth mashed against mine.

His hand on my waist tightened and pulled me closer. Parting my lips, I licked the seam of his mouth and he groaned, instantly meeting my attentions with his. Plunging deep, he drank me down.

I reached up and cupped his face, causing my strapless dress to shift a little lower. I needed to kiss him, touch him, just for a second. Because in this moment, we were just two people. Like we were the day I met him. So I lifted to my tiptoes and slung one arm around his shoulders to get closer.

He devoured my mouth, his big hands gripping my ass and pressing me farther into him. I didn’t care about anything but feeling him. It was like my brain shut out all thoughts except for his heat. His hold. His mouth. Just Leo. That was all I could understand in that moment.

His erection pressed against my stomach and I arched into it, subtly grinding my hips. The slinky silk of my dress came down just a bit more from the movement.

It wasn’t until he pulled away slightly and looked at me with raw lust that I realized what had happened.

“Fuck, you’re like a piece of wicked fruit tempting me,” he rasped, looking me in the eyes, then trailing lower to take in my breasts.

My dress had come down just enough to show a hint of my nipples. Before I could back away and tug it up, Leo leaned in and ran his tongue along one breast.

Forget moving away. I moaned and wished so hard he’d keep going. The pleasure that shot through me wasn’t expected, but the dose was so sharp I felt it all the way to my throbbing core.

I cupped his hard cock through his pants, ready to take it out when a gust of cold breeze hit me and I remembered where I was. Where we were. Out on a terrace at a major function, where we could be seen at any time.

I pushed myself away from him and instantly righted my dress.

“T-that was . . .” I tugged once more, making sure I was fully covered.

“Tasty,” Leo finished, smiling.

I shot him a look. He was all swagger, and grinning in my direction like he’d just declared victory in some war between us. In a way he had. I’d been weak and gave in to something that was—

“Unprofessional.”

With a quick assessment of my hair, I turned and headed back toward the party inside. It wasn’t lost on me that this was the second time I’d walked away from Leo. But just like the first, I knew a bad idea when I saw it, and there was nothing good that could have come from this. From us.

Because whenever it came to me, typically happiness had nowhere to bloom.

Chapter Ten

I
’m sorry, you want me to do what?” I paused midswipe on my tablet and looked up at Leo.

“I want you to set up dates for me with the women on this list.” Leo handed me a typed list of women’s names and contact information. A quick chill of confusion pricked my skin. Surely he wasn’t serious.

“Romantic dates?” I said.

“What else?”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

Leo leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head like he owned the damn world. Well, not the world—oceans maybe, but not the world. Since last weekend after we kissed, he hadn’t said more than a few words, and most of them were orders.

Well, I had kissed him, then walked out. Again.

The first few days I had been terrified he would fire me. But so far, he’d been doing the opposite. He’d been giving me more work actually. So long as I kept my job, I’d be okay. The main point was that kissing, or anything else with Leo, was a bad idea. It was also becoming harder to resist. At least I stopped before I clawed my way through his tuxedo pants and hopped on for what I knew would have been an incredible ride.

I also stopped before those emotions, the ones I was having a hard time controlling, got even further out of control.

“You can start at the top of the list. Tonight is fine for the first date.”

“I don’t have a frame of reference for this kind of request,” I said. I had poured over Cathy’s database and the information she’d left. Never once had setting up dates with women come up.

“That’s because Cathy never set up a date for me.”

I looked up and frowned. “Then why are you having me do this?”

He smiled. “Why is that a concern of yours? We’re strictly professional, correct?”

The air hurt my throat as I tried to breathe and I realized exactly what was happening. Leo was upset with me. I had screwed up. Honestly, the way I felt about him was starting to upset me, because I didn’t want him to look at me as anything but desirable.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to convince myself that by
desirable
, I meant strictly in a professional way. But that was a lie. I knew it. And that fact was tearing at the emptiness I kept locked deep inside. Right now, though, I needed my logic. Needed to get a grip and solve the obvious issue brewing between us since last week’s make-out session on the terrace.

“Look, I know we had that moment at the gala—” I started.

“You kissed me.”

“It was a slipup—”

“And you also bit me a little, actually.” He ran his thumb over his lower lip and smiled.

“However, you are obviously trying to get a reaction out of me by this little stunt, and it’s not going to work.”

“Let me clarify a few points real quick,” he said. “First off, nothing about me, including my stunts, are little.” He gave a casual spin in his chair and I checked the urge to roll my eyes. “Secondly, I already got the reaction out of you I wanted. And it involved you moaning my name.” He winked, and nothing on the planet could have taken down this man’s swagger. “Now, that being said, do I find it irritating that you continually walk away from me right after giving me a glimpse of the real you?” He rubbed his jaw and nodded. “Well, yeah.”

And there it was. Back to this. Leo thought he saw something in me. If I was any less stubborn I might admit that his interest, or his pursuit to know me, was nice. It somewhat patched the void I’d been filling over the years with work.

It was his damn eyes. The way his voice got a little deeper, a little more accented when talking about something he cared about.

And when he opened up, just enough to see that pain he carried from some mysterious event from Greece, I instantly latched on to it. Recognized it. Wanted to chase that sad look away and make things right for him.

Which was why I’d kissed him.

It was also why I’d walked away.

Again.

Because there was more to him. Just like he presumed there was more to me. But at the end of the day, that didn’t matter. I needed his letter of recommendation and to stay focused if I had any shot of landing something permanent after my ninety days here were up. Because one thing was very clear: Leo and I weren’t meant for long term. And we both knew it.

“Well, I assure you, I’m plenty ‘real’ right now. What you see is what you get,” I said in my best casual tone.

“I disagree completely.” He leaned across his desk and in a low, accented tone said, “Because I’ve
seen
and I’ve
gotten
, and let me assure
you,
there’s more to you, Red.”

I opened my mouth to refute it, but he leaned back and clasped his hands across his stomach casually. “So, I need you to set up this date with Bepa Gavrikov. Her contact information should be listed.”

My shoulders sunk because I recognized the name. She was a well-known Russian supermodel. Not that I cared. Nope. I’d book the crap out of this date and not have a single problem at all. Because Leo was right. I wanted professional.

So why the hell did I ask, “How do you know her? Or are you just pulling names off Google?”

He grinned. “She moved to Greece several years ago, does a lot of her modeling there actually, and I’ve known her for years. Friend of the family.”

I took a deep breath. Great. Just great.

“I’ll set up a date for you this evening.” I smiled and turned to walk out. I had my own date tonight anyway. A girls’ night out.

“Oh, and Red?”

I turned to face him. “Send her thirteen long-stemmed roses.”

I frowned. “Not a dozen?”

He was very serious. “No, thirteen. Understand?”

I nodded and left his office feeling equal parts moron and stupid girl. Emotions were so annoying. When I should be concentrating on work, I was wondering if one of those gowns in Leo’s closet belonged to the supermodel I was about to set him up with.

I made a mental note to update my resume and add
pimp
to my list of skills. Right below
gopher
and above
idiot prone to sexually harassing her boss
.

“Where’s Amy?” I asked after hugging Hazel and taking a seat in the small booth. We’d found a diner in Poughkeepsie that was a good middle point for us.

“Amy couldn’t make it,” Hazel said, but she didn’t look me in the eye, instead flipped through the drink menu.

“Couldn’t make it? Or wasn’t allowed?”

Hazel looked at me now, and the obvious unease and pity in her eyes was clear. “With the scandal heating up, I think Roman just wants to keep her close and away from the public eye.”

“You mean, Roman wants to keep her away from me.”

“No.” Hazel reached over and patted my hand. “You know how protective he is, especially with Amy and the media.”

I nodded. Yeah, I did know. Roman went out of his way to put Amy first despite what his best advisers said. One of which I used to work for.

“Did you hear the latest on the scandal?” Hazel asked softly. Though she knew it affected me, she also knew that, as of now, I wasn’t named and no way in hell was I going to the press.

“I haven’t watched or kept up on it,” I said honestly.

Between being busy with Leo and his demands, and avoiding the scandal like the plague, I didn’t keep up with it on purpose.

“Oh, um . . .” Hazel glanced away. “I know you worked with a lot of people in the office, but one of the girls, Jane Wesley . . .”

I nodded. “Yeah, I heard she was one of the interns who Bill approached.”

“She was the one getting the most heat. I guess Bill took a video of her on his cell phone while she was
with
him. It was leaked yesterday.”

“Oh, God.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew Bill’s phone was being searched and certain things had been released, but a video? Poor Jane. Bill was an overbearing ass and because I knew both of them, I had a good idea how this had likely gone down. He was in a position of power and she gave in.

“Yeah, it’s awful.”

“It is,” I said.

“I guess her mother found her.”

“Wait, what?” My eyes snapped to Hazel. “Found her? What are you talking about?”

Hazel’s eyes went wide. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Paige, I thought you heard, with the way you were talking. Jane tried to kill herself this morning.”

My heart stilled and heat rushed behind my eyes. I tried to make my mouth work, but only managed to open and close it a few times.

“I’m so sorry,” Hazel said. “Do you know her well?”

I knew her well enough. She had drive and ambition, and really wanted to help her mother and make a difference in New York.

“She’s very nice.” I glanced at my lap.

I knew how vicious the media could be. And if a video was released? I shook my head. Poor woman. The ridicule and stress must have eaten away at her. Everyone made mistakes, but Jane didn’t deserve this.

A chill broke over my spine at the thought of being amidst that scandal in the same way Jane was. I didn’t want that. Was terrified actually. Now I was in the shadows. Still unnamed. Something I hoped would stay that way.

“So tell me about Columbia,” I said with a smile, and perused the menu.

“Paige, we can talk about this if you want.”

“Nope,” I said. Not because I was heartless, but because, if I was honest, I was on the brink of losing my shit and
not
handling this at all. Just thinking of this mess, of Jane, of all of it, was enough to break down the small sense of security I’d started to build. No, I needed a subject change. Desperately.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Haz.” I shot her a look that told her I was serious. “Please, I just want to hear about Columbia.”

Hazel pushed her glasses a little farther up her nose. “Okay.” She obviously wasn’t convinced, but it was for the best. I just wanted to hear about something good.

“Columbia is amazing. Do you ever have this feeling that you finally belong? I walk around campus and just feel like I finally got to the place I’ve been running toward.”

I smiled because my friend looked honestly happy.

“Haz, that’s great. I want to come visit so you can show me around.”

“Definitely! It does make me miss you so much and the fun times we had at NYU together. Everything changes so fast.”

“It does,” I said, realizing just how much had changed, and how I tried so hard not to let it affect me. But it did.

“So, I want to hear about your job.”

I barely covered a scoff because the first thing that came to mind was that I had just set up a date for my boss, the same boss I kissed last weekend. It was also the same boss that would be showing up to meet Russian Model McPerfect-Boobs in a couple hours. To whom I of course sent roses. They were to be delivered to their dinner table at ten o’clock sharp.

“Things are going well,” I said. “Working on a project, keeping busy, met some heads of business.”

“That’s great. Are you liking the world of shipping, or missing politics?”

“Kind of both. I’m learning a lot and feeling busy and that’s nice. But I do miss politics too. Still, some of the men I’ve met over the past month have different companies or investors. I’ve been setting some groundwork to try for a job with one of them in the future.”

“You always think four steps ahead.”

I shrugged. “I have to. This job is temporary.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s smart. I never questioned that. It’s the reason Amy and I go to you with everything. Your impeccable logic.” Hazel smiled but somehow I felt like her statement wasn’t really a compliment. Thinking four steps ahead tended to take me out of the present, a fact Hazel had pointed out to me several times over the years. “I just hope you get a chance to enjoy yourself. Maybe take a break. You worked night and day in the governor’s office and now this job has you living on site. It’s so demanding.”

“I’m here tonight. That’s a social life, thank you very much,” I joked, but Hazel wasn’t laughing.

“I’m serious, Paige. I hope you are taking some time for yourself.”

“I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

Hazel nodded, dropping the subject. One thing I wasn’t fine with was the buzzing of my phone from the third missed call from my mother today. I also wasn’t fine with the reason Amy wasn’t here tonight. Roman was a good man. Protective. But it still stung that I was the leper of the group who no one wanted to touch.