Parts & Labor (12 page)

"Oh."

"Working
another Sudoku?" I said.

Brian
loved those puzzles. He bragged that he was the top Sudoku solver in Austin. Brian needed a life. Of course, I was one to talk.

"Trying.
This one's super hard. I can't figure it out."

"You
ever do one of these?" I asked Norbert.

"I
have never seen one of those. What is it?"

"A
Japanese number puzzle," Brian said.

He
flipped the book around so Norbert could see the puzzle.

"There's
nine spaces in each row and column," Brian said, "and nine
three-by-three grids with nine spaces in each grid. The object is to use the
numbers one through nine in each row, column, and grid."

Norbert
stared at the puzzle but held his hand out to Brian.

"Writing
instrument."

Brian
slapped his pencil in Norbert's hand like Mom slapping a scalpel into a
surgeon's hand, but he chuckled.

"Dude,
you can't just look at a Sudoku for like, ten seconds then fill in the—"

"Like
this?"

Norbert
handed the puzzle back to Brian. He had filled in the entire grid. Perfectly.
Brian wasn't chuckling now. He was frowning again. He stared at the puzzle then
up at Norbert.

"Dude—how'd
you do that?"

Norbert
shrugged. "It is simple."

We
left Brian scratching his head and walked down the sidewalk to Jo's where Guillermo
called out to me from inside the little green building.

"Yo,
dog!"

I
waved back.

"Why
does he refer to you as a member of the canine species?" Norbert asked.

"Oh,
dog, that's just another expression for friend."

"Dude
and dog. Odd terminology."

We
walked down to the light in front of Blackmail and crossed back over South
Congress then walked past Amy's. But Norbert abruptly stopped at the flavor
board.

"Let
us have ice cream," he said. "I would like white chocolate with
sprinkles in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone."

"Nice
selection. But I don't have any money."

"I
do."

Norbert
dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a wad of $100 bills.

"Cha-ching."

"Man,
where'd you get all that money?"

"My
father. Is this enough for ice cream cones?"

"That's
probably enough to buy all the ice cream in the whole place."

We
ordered our cones then walked back up Congress past the Japanese restaurant called
Zen and the Continental Club where I could hear music and St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Store and to the Home Slice pizza place.

"They've
got great pizza," I said.

"What
is pizza?"

"You've
never had pizza either? Norbert, this home schooling isn't good. You gotta
get out more. Pizza's only the best food ever invented … except for ice
cream … and maybe hot dogs … and cotton candy … and …"

"Then
let us eat pizza."

"But
we're eating ice cream."

"We
have two hands."

"I
like the way you think, Norbert."

Norbert
bought two slices of pepperoni pizza. We ate pizza with one hand and ice cream
with the other. I had never mixed the two, but actually it was a good
combination—except it gave Norbert serious gas.

We
cut over at the Baptist Church playground and ate all the way past Mrs. Cushing
bent over and tending to her flowers—"She has a very nice garden,"
Norbert said—and down the hill. I was stuffed by the time we got back home.
But I almost threw it all up when we cleared the hedgerow and I looked up at my
bedroom window.

Maddy
was sitting on the window sill.

"Oh,
no!"

I
had forgotten to close and lock my window. I was supposed to always do that because
there was no screen on the window—and because Maddy might do just what she was now
doing. Her legs were dangling out the window. If she fell, she would drop
twenty feet to the driveway.

"Maddy!"

I
shouldn't have called her name. She saw me, and she smiled at me, and she let
go of the window, and she waved … and she wobbled … and she screamed
with fright … and she …

… fell.

I
ran as fast as I could to catch her … but I wasn't fast enough … I
wasn't going to make it …

"Maddy!"

… but then … the world suddenly shifted into slow motion again … and Maddy
was no longer falling … she was floating … but I didn't slow down …
I ran to her and got right under her and held my arms out … and she just gently
dropped down into my open arms. Then, just as suddenly, the world returned to
normal speed again.

"That
was fun!" she screamed. "I'm gonna do that again!"

"No,
Maddy! Don't ever do that again!"

She
giggled and jumped down and ran inside. I stood there a moment, not sure what
to think, then I turned to Norbert. He was still standing where I had left him,
licking his ice cream cone.

"I
gotta go lock my window," I said, "before she jumps again."

I
ran upstairs to my room. I shut and locked the window then looked down at Norbert
swinging in his backyard.

How'd
I do that?

How'd
I do any of the things I had done the last few days?

How'd
I send Vic and his gang flying down the sidewalk?

How'd
I bend their scooters into pretzels?

How'd
I hit that home run?

How'd
I catch Maddy?

"Excellent
catch," Norbert said, as if catching your little sister falling from a
second-story window was an everyday occurrence.

I
had joined him on the swing set in his backyard.

"How'd
I do that?"

"You
ran fast and caught her."

"But
how'd I get to her in time?"

I
didn't want to mention how the world had slowed down. He might think I was
strange. But this was all very strange.

Norbert
shrugged. "Adrenaline rush."

"You
know, it's kind of odd."

"What
is?"

"Every
time these crazy things happened—throwing Vic and his gang down the sidewalk,
hitting that home run, catching Maddy—you were right there. None of those
things ever happened to me before you moved in, now they're happening all the
time … but only when you're around."

"Coincidence."

"Oh,
no!"

"Max,
it could have been a coincidence."

"Dog!"

Norbert
smiled, stuck a closed hand out to me for a fist-bump, and said, "Yo,
dog."

"No!"
I pointed. "Real dog!"

Norbert
now looked to where I was pointing. Butch, the backyard neighbor's pit bull,
had gotten out. Again. Randy, the neighbor, owned a nightclub on Sixth Street in downtown, but he looked like a bouncer. He had bought Butch a couple of
years ago. The last time Butch had escaped and gotten into our backyard, Randy
had come over to retrieve him and said, "Don't worry. Butch ain't vicious
or nuthin'. He won't bite kids." Mom had stood there with her hands on
her hips staring up at Randy; she finally said, "You're dumber than your
dog." She was like that—she'd get in your face. She called Animal Control,
but they said they couldn't lock Butch up until he bit someone. "The 'one
bite rule,' " they said. "That's the law in Texas."

Butch
now appeared as if he wanted his one bite. Out of me.

He
was crouched ten feet from us. Saliva dripped from his mouth. He was growling
like the sound started somewhere in his gut. I was terrified, but Norbert
seemed only curious.

"The
canine creature?" he said.

"That's
no canine creature, Norbert! That's a pit bull! They eat kids like us for
breakfast!"

One
time Butch had gotten out and into our yard while I was outside and acted like
he wanted to bite me. But Dad had come over and stood between us then walked
over and grabbed Butch by his collar and dragged him home. But Dad wasn't here
to save me. The pit bull snarled and edged closer. I glanced around for an
escape path, but there was none.

"Max,
are you afraid of this dog?"

"Norbert—that
dog can kill us!"

Butch
apparently decided at that moment to prove me right. He bared his teeth and
ran at me and lunged for my throat, so I ducked my head and covered my face
with my arms and screamed "No!" and waited to feel sharp teeth
chomping into me but—

—nothing
happened.

I
peeked out from between my arms. Butch the pit bull hung frozen in midair a foot
from my face, close enough for me to smell his foul dog breath. His mouth was
open and his teeth sharp, but his face showed his shock and confusion, the same
as my face must have been showing right about then. Butch's eyes were wide and
darted from side to side frantically. I turned to Norbert. His right index
finger was pointing at the pit bull like Mrs. Nelson pointing at a misbehaving
student in the cafeteria. He moved his finger further away from me … and
the pit bull moved further away from me.

He
was holding the pit bull in midair with his finger! From five feet away!

Norbert
stood and walked to the back fence with Butch in tow—floating in the air—and
dropped the pit bull on the other side of the fence into the dog run. Butch
whimpered and ran inside his doghouse. Norbert returned and sat in the swing.
He swung as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

I
stared at him.

 

 

There
are moments in a kid's childhood when life as you know it changes. Some are
normal growing-up moments, like when you're finally potty-trained—boy, that was
a big milestone for me—and when you start school—that first day without Mom, that was hard on my psyche—and when you get beat up after school by bullies—the first time
was really bad. But other moments are not normal at all, like when you come
downstairs late at night to get a drink of water and you catch your parents
making out on the couch or when your dad deploys to fight a war on the other
side of the world or when you discover the kid next door is not human.

"You're
an alien."

Norbert
was quiet for a long moment, then he said, "Max, can you keep a
secret?"

I nodded.

"Yes,"
he said.

"Yes,
you're an alien?"

"Here
on your planet."

"I
knew it! I knew there were other life forms out there! What planet are you
from—Mars, Jupiter, Pluto?"

"Your
planets are not our planets. We are from another galaxy."

"Why
do you look just like us?"

"I
do not. We disguise ourselves to blend in."

"Smart.
Humans would freak out if you looked like an alien. Like in
Men in Black
,
the alien looked like a giant cockroach
.
You don't look like a
cockroach, do you?"

"No
.
"

"Good.
Is that an Edgar suit?"

"What
is an Edgar suit?"

"In
that movie, the alien cockroach sucks out this creep's insides—his name is Edgar—and
uses his skin like a costume. An Edgar suit."

"Oh.
No, it is not an Edgar suit. It is a synthetic suit."

"Looks
real. Can I touch it?"

"Yes,
you may."

I
put my finger lightly on his arm and stroked his skin. But it didn't feel like
skin. It felt weird, like thin rubber.

"I
never thought you looked like a real human. And you smelled new, not like
Maddy when she was born but like a new car."

Norbert
nodded. "The human scent is impossible to replicate."

"And
you didn't talk like a human … but you said you were from California."

"We
watched your movies, to learn human speech patterns, but English is not an easy
language to master, particularly here in the South of America—I mean, what is a
'y'all'?"

"It's
short for 'you all'."

"But
who would say 'you all'?"

"No
one. That's why we say 'y'all.' What movies?"

"
Lord
of the Rings
mostly. I must have watched that movie a hundred times.
'Dark of late my dreams have been.' I love that line."

"You
can't talk like that in America."

"So
I learned in L.A."

"You've
got superpowers?"

"Not
for us."

"But
you can move stuff with your finger?"

"Yes.
You call it telekinesis."

"What
do you call it?"

"Moving
stuff with my finger."

"Oh.
So how did you make everything slow down, at the baseball field and with
Maddy?"

"We
are able to affect the movement of all matter on this planet, at least for a
short time."

"Well,
that's handy. So what brings you to Earth? Are you on vacation? I want to go
to Australia and see the elephants."

"Africa."

"That'd
be fun, too. I could see the kangaroos."

"They
are in Australia."

"Then
why would I go to Africa?"

Norbert
shook his head like he was trying to clear his brain then said, "I am on a
business trip with my father."

"I
thought he worked for the government?"

"He
does. For our government."

"What
does he do?"

"He
is an analyst."

"So
what's he analyzing here?"

"Earth
and Earthlings."

"What
for?"

"Parts
and labor."

"Parts?
Like spare tires and batteries?"

"Like
minerals and water. My father analyzes the natural resources and life forms on
other planets to determine if we should acquire them for our parts and
labor."

"Acquire?
Your government might buy Earth?"

"More
like conquer."

I
nodded. "Your government wants our iPhones and drones, like the Russians."

Norbert
smiled. "No. For us, your technology and weapons are mere novelties. We
seek natural resources to supply our society. Like water. Your oceans contain
vast quantities of water."