Popped Off (18 page)

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Authors: Jeffrey Allen

BOOK: Popped Off
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47
Suzie reached out and gently pushed the barrel of the gun away from Moe’s forehead. “No.”
Amber looked at her, incredulous, stomping her foot on the porch. “He stole from a bunch of kids!” She looked at Moe. “You’re a huge dick!”
Moe’s shoulders were slumped, and I felt confident that he’d peed his pants.
“We’re not shooting him,” Suzie said.
“Why not?” Amber shouted. “I don’t care if he owes us money. You don’t steal from kids. Especially soccer kids. Oh my God, I hate you.”
Moe leaned into his cousin, trying to increase his distance from her.
“I don’t care,” Suzie said. She took the gun from her. “Go cool off.” Suzie nodded at Lizzie. “Take her inside. Get her something to drink.”
Amber stepped back, swung her leg, and drilled Moe right in the shin. Moe fell off the step and toppled into the grass, grabbing at his leg.
“You are a
dick,
” she yelled at him as Lizzie escorted her into the house. “Their trophies, too? Dick!”
Suzie motioned for one of the other girls to cover the Hubers and came back up on the porch with us. She sat down in the chair Amber had been in.
“Amber used to play soccer,” she said. “Actually, all of us did. So, uh, yeah, that didn’t go over so well.”
“Clearly.”
Suzie leaned back in her chair and sighed. “Such a mess.”
I agreed. It was a mess, and I still didn’t understand most of it. But I felt like Amber’s reaction had opened a window of opportunity. Maybe I could be an ally rather than an adversary.
“It’s my daughter’s soccer association,” I said. “That’s how I got brought into this.”
“Did he steal everything?”
“Yeah. Games are going to be canceled this weekend,” I said. “It’s literally bankrupt.”
“Jesus, she’s gonna freak,” Suzie whispered. “Freak.”
“Did he pay you?” I asked. “Did he give you the money?”
She shook her head. “No. That’s why the idiot is here.”
Victor leaned forward. “He hasn’t paid you anything?”
“No. Nothing. He tried to get cute.”
“Cute?”
She started to say something, then stopped, her mouth closing shut. I could tell she was trying to decide how much to tell us. I didn’t want her to shut down, didn’t want that window of opportunity to close.
“Look,” I said, “we don’t care what you guys are running here. Honestly. We don’t care. But I don’t wanna see anyone get hurt here, and I really want my daughter to keep playing soccer.”
She bit her bottom lip, working over what I’d told her. I didn’t say anything else, because I didn’t want to interrupt her thought process.
“He wanted us to cover what his cousin stole,” she finally said quietly. “We forgave the debt in exchange for him picking up the Viagra. All he had to do was deliver and he was free and clear.”
“I’m not following,” I said.
“The betting, it makes us money,” she said. “But the Viagra? You have any idea how much college boys will pay for that stuff?”
“Uh, no.”
“A lot,” she said. “A lot. No doctors, no prescriptions, no chance of public embarrassment. It’s more popular than weed right now. Trust me.”
I looked at Victor. He just shrugged and rolled his eyes.
“So those pills are worth a lot more to us,” she said. “We knew we probably wouldn’t see everything he owed us, so we just wanted to be done with him.” She glanced at him. “But then he decided he’d hold the load hostage until we forked over enough cash for his cousin to return whatever he took from the casino.” She shook her head. “Idiots.”
I agreed with her assessment. They were very clearly idiots.
“So if you get the pills, this is over?” Victor asked.
“Absolutely,” she said. “We don’t want him or need him. I am tired of him. I want those pills before we hit the weekend. That’s our busiest transaction time, and we’ve got people waiting.”
College sure had changed since I’d been at A&M.
“Let us talk to him,” Victor said. “Alone. Without the guns in his face.”
“No way,” she said. “You guys run out of here, we lose our money and our pills, and then it will get ugly.”
Victor held out his keys. “We ain’t going anywhere. Go inside. You can watch through the windows. We’ll stay right here in the yard.”
She chewed on her lip again. “Will he tell you?”
“Yeah,” Victor said, glancing in Moe’s direction. “He’ll tell us.”
“What happens if he doesn’t?” she asked.
“Let’s worry about that if we get there,” Victor said. “But we aren’t going anywhere, and we aren’t denying he owes you. We’re trying to help you get what you want. What do you have to lose?”
She studied each of us for a moment, then stood. “Ladies. In the house. Now.”
The girls moved immediately and filed past us into the house.
“Take all the time you need,” Suzie said. “I’ll try to keep Amber at bay.”
She disappeared inside.
The backyard now seemed quieter with fewer people.
“How do you know he’s gonna tell us where the trophies are?” I asked.
Victor was rolling up his sleeves. “Because I’m going to beat his ass if he doesn’t.”
48
Moises Huber was still in the grass, clutching at his shin, as Victor bounded down the stairs.
“Get up, moron,” Victor growled.
“Hey, he’s hurt,” Elliott said.
“And you just sit there and keep looking stupid,” Victor barked, pointing at him. “I blame you for us even being here.”
“And what the hell are you doing here, anyway?” I asked.
Elliott shifted his eyes to the ground. “I followed you.”
“Here?”
“As soon as you went in the house, a couple of those girls came out of nowhere and pulled me out of my car,” he said, shaking his head.
“Now I’m really pissed at you,” Victor said. “For following me.” He looked down at Moises. “You got five seconds to get up, before I start kicking you in the shins
and
the nuts.”
Moises pushed himself to his knees and crawled over to the stairs, dirt and grass clinging to the back of his shirt and hair. He got himself up and sat next to his cousin.
Victor rubbed his hands together. “Here’s how it’s gonna go, boys. Deuce and I have a few questions for you. You’re going to answer them. Honestly. If you don’t, those crazy chicks are gonna come back out here and shoot you. And we’re not gonna stop them.”
“But you can’t just . . . ,” Moises protested.
“Shut up!” Victor yelled at him. “I didn’t ask you any questions yet, and the only time I want either of you to open your stupid mouths is if one of us asks you a question. Because I am pissed off that I’m wasting a day in some godforsaken crap hole with you two idiots and a bunch of nutty broads waving guns around in my face. And right now I’d just as soon they come back out here and start taking target practice. It makes no difference to me.”
I had to hand it to him. They were rock still, with both their mouths closed. He had their attention. He was one scary-ass midget.
Victor looked at me. “Now, because I don’t understand any of this lunacy, you start asking whatever the hell you need to ask so we can get outta this place.”
“Where are the trophies, Moe?” I asked.
“I’m not telling,” he said, shaking his head.
Victor growled and started for him, but I put a hand on his chest and held him back.
“I swear I will rip his legs off,” Victor said. “This is ridiculous.”
“Just hang on,” I said to him.
He knocked my hand away but didn’t go any closer to Moe.
“You tell me where the trophies are and all of this goes away,” I said. “All of it. That’s all they want.”
“It doesn’t go away,” Moe insisted. “My cousin still owes the casino. I still owe Rose Petal soccer.”
“And the church,” I said. “Don’t forget that.”
He looked at me, confused, but then just shook his head. “None of it really goes away.”
“How about the fact that they won’t shoot you?” I asked. “How about that?”
He didn’t have an answer for me.
“Just tell them,” Elliott said. “I’ll figure out my own problems.”
“No,” Moe said. “You did it to help me. I’m not gonna leave you hanging like that.”
“You got, like, three minutes to tell us where the trophies are, before I tell them to load up,” Victor snarled. “I am
done
with this.”
“Look,” I said, “you are just making this worse by keeping their stuff. They are willing to wash your debt. But you gotta give them the Viagra. It’s not negotiable.”
“And then what happens?” Moe said. “So they let us go. Then what? Jail?”
“Probably,” I admitted. “But that’s probably better than getting shot, isn’t it? Because I’m pretty sure they will shoot you.”
Actually, I was starting to think they wouldn’t. Suzie seemed exhausted by the entire thing and just wanted to move on. The way she’d moved the gun away from Amber indicated to me that she didn’t want anyone getting shot.
But it was okay if Moe hadn’t picked up on that.
“Fine,” Moe finally said.
“Yippee skippee,” Victor said, throwing his hands up.
“But I’m going to get them,” Moe said. “I have to be the one to get them.”
“Why you?” I asked.
“Because that’s the deal,” Moe said. “They can shoot me if they don’t like it.”
“This guy’s unbelievable,” Victor said. “Can we just go in and tell them to shoot him? I’ll buy lunch.”
I wasn’t sure what Moe was angling for, but we were at least headed in the right direction, and I didn’t want it to stall out.
“Stay here,” I said to Victor.
“BBQ, burgers, I don’t care,” Victor said. “You choose. I’ll buy.”
Suzie was watching from the window, and I motioned for her to come out. I met her on the porch.
“Did he tell you?” she asked, her eyes hopeful.
“Not exactly,” I said and told her his proposition.
She shook her head. “No way. He’ll take off. I know it. He’s such a weasel.”
“What if I go with him?” I said. “I guarantee you I’ll bring him and the Viagra back to you.”
“I don’t exactly trust you,” she said. “You’ve been lying to us for a couple days now.”
She had me there.
“I lied to you to figure out what was going on,” I said. “I will bring him back to you. You want collateral of some sort? Wallet? Driver’s license? My home address? I’ll give it to you. I’ll bring him back.”
“Hang on a sec,” she said and disappeared back into the house.
“You tell them to get bigger guns?” Victor hollered. “So they don’t miss?”
I held up a finger, telling him to hold on.
Victor held up his middle finger, telling me to . . . you know.
Thirty seconds later Suzie came back out with a decidedly calmer Amber.
“You’ll take him and bring him back?” Amber said. “With the Viagra?”
“Yep. Guaranteed.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding. “But the cousin stays.”
I didn’t see any problem with that. “That works.”
“And so does the midget,” she said, a smile finding its way back onto her face.
“Victor? Why?”
“Megan’s coming over,” she said. “She’ll be thrilled to see him again.”
I turned back to the yard. Victor stood there, arms folded across his chest, frowning at me.
“I can’t make him stay,” I said to Amber.
“You’re going to have to,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s the deal.”
I thought for a moment. I didn’t think she really had that much leverage, because, in truth, they needed the Viagra. I felt like we could wait them out and they’d eventually cave, because they needed it more than we needed anything else.
But they also had the guns.
“Okay,” I said. “But play along with me for a minute, all right?”
She nodded.
“Moe,” I said, turning to the yard. “Come here.”
Moe took a few moments before he moved tentatively in my direction. He trudged up the steps to the porch.
“Go inside with her,” I said quietly to him, nodding at Suzie. “Wait for me.”
Suzie didn’t wait for a response. She took him by the arm and escorted him into the house.
I hopped down the steps into the yard and motioned Victor away from Elliott.
“Can I have the keys to your car?” I said. “I left my phone in there, and I wanna record the conversation inside.”
Victor dug in his pocket. “What conversation?”
“He’s gonna give up the location,” I lied. “I want it on tape.”
He pulled out the keys and handed them to me. “And then can we get the hell outta here?”
“Absolutely,” I said, wondering how pissed he was going to be at me. “Keep an eye on this one, all right? We don’t need him doing anything stupid when we’re finishing this.”
“Roger,” he said, frowning around me at Elliott.
I turned back to the house and hopped up the stairs.
“You’re probably gonna need some help containing him,” I whispered, “when he realizes . . .”
“Hey, why do you need my keys when the top is down?” Victor yelled.
“. . . that I’m leaving him here,” I finished, continuing past her toward the house.
“Deuce?” Victor yelled, louder now. “What are you doing?”
Amber whistled loudly, and several of her sorority sisters shuffled outside, guns at the ready.
“Deuce! What’s going on?”
I turned at the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. You’ll be fine.”
Pure, unfiltered anger filled every molecule of his face, and he charged toward the porch. The girls quickly closed in on him and corralled him as he swung and kicked in every imaginable way, spitting and cursing in my direction.
It appeared as if he was going to be very pissed at me.

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