Progress (The Progress Series) (21 page)

“I want…” Jesse began.

Has she slept with him?

Charlie’s eyes lit up and she folded her arms around her stomach.

“Tell me,” she said urgently.

“I want… I’ll be here Wednesday. It’s Parm and Pepp day. Will you be here?” he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Charlie slouched. “Yes, I’ll be here.”

“See you then.” Jesse mustered a wink and paid his tab as Charlie walked out the front door with Ryan.

“Good morning, Jesse.” Charlie smiled.

“Hi.”

“What did you end up doing after I left the other night?”

“I went home and wrote a song.”

“Good! You know, you promised I’d hear you play someday. What are you doing today after work?”

“I don’t really want to play today. I mean, music that is.” He smirked.

“Oh, playful Jesse! Come here. Help me with the parmesans and peppers.”

As Jesse walked over to stand next to Charlie, she hip-checked him and winked.

Why haven’t I noticed how much weight she’s lost? She’s skinny. Too skinny.

“So, what’s new with you? Got a girlfriend yet?”

Jesse gave a swift exhale through his nose that sounded like a laugh. “Um, no. But…”

“But what?”

“But…Bree came to see me, a while ago.”

“Oh! A while ago? Why didn’t you tell me? This is big news. What did she say?” Charlie stopped filling the bottles and turned her full attention to Jesse.

“She wanted
me back. And was…crying when I kicked her ass out my door.”

“Oh.” Charlie contemplated the information and looked in the direction of the countertop. “Well, how do you feel about that now? I mean, do you wish you hadn’t kicked her out?”

“Not sure. Do you…do
you
have any advice?” Jesse had searched for the accurate wording, trying not to give anything away.

“No. Good lord. Are you kidding? My first-ever boyfriend I am
just now
experiencing. I can barely be considered an expert on the subject. But, I do think that with any relationship, you have to consider whether or not they’re good for you. You know, whether or not you can benefit and grow from them. I guess you need to ask yourself that question.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Jesse couldn’t disguise his disappointment.

“Oh Jess. Don’t worry, I’m still your friend. I mean, he knows about you. I told him that I don’t tolerate jealousy. He knows how I feel.”

“Have you fucked him?”

Charlie didn’t answer and her eyes turned cold.

“Holy shit! You’ve been holding back! Tell me. Have you?”

Charlie bit her bottom lip and shook her head. “No. Not yet. But I’m seeing him tonight…and I’m going to wear my sexy underwear.” Charlie winked and continued filling her containers, giggling.

Fuck.

“Well. That’s that, then.”

Charlie looked qu
ickly at Jesse and away again.

Her sexy underwear? Damn it! No. Don’t even think it. You’ll get it caught in your head and you’ll think of nothing else the rest of the week. You can’t. She’s with him now. She’s happy. She’s giddy. She doesn’t want you. You’re her friend, nothing more.

“You shouldn’t wear any panties. It’s sexier,” Jesse whispered, avoiding her eyes.

Jesse stopped helping Charlie and walked out to the dining room, fumbling with his labret.

She’s so sweet. Does he see her for who she is, or does he just see a skinny, gorgeous, redheaded virgin? Is he just going to use her and throw her ass away?

Why do you care, anyway? Good for her. She’s finally gonna get laid. It’s about time! She needs someone to--Stop. Stop thinking about what he’s going to do to her.

“Good morning, Jesse.” Angie stood beside him as she checked the chart for her section.

Jesse stood there motionless, watching the cars pass on the street in front of the restaurant.

“Morning.” He shuddered at his delightful tone and walked back to see if there were any pre-ordered deliveries. To his surprise, there were four of them. It was going to be a busy day.

*

After his shift, Jesse emptied his pockets full of wadded up money wrapped around orders. He walked to the hostess stand and began sorting his orders and each payment he’d received. Thinking about Charlie, his mundane task was now more of a reflex than something that required much thought. He looked up and saw her.

“Hey, Red.”

“Hey, busy today?”

“Yes, I think I made some money. You?”

“Same.”

They stopped talking and she counte
d his tips. The day hostess had left for the afternoon, so it wasn’t unusual that Charlie took over in the front once the rush had passed.

She handed him his change. “Happy Birthday.”

His eyes met hers in shock.

“Your gift is on the delivery table.” She winked.

His mouth dropped open slightly and he stared at her for a second too long. His eyes drifted left as if he was looking at nothing in particular and deep in thought. “You remembered my birthday?”

“I got you a gift,” she said with a fat grin.

He smiled and walked to the back. A blue striped package with a white bow and card sat atop the delivery table. The card said “Jesse” in elegant script.

He grabbed the gift and brought it back to the break area. Sitting on the chair, he stared at it with a small smile. After a moment, he started unwrapping the package.

It was a crystal chess board with one side in clear crystal and the other in black pewter.

He had no words.

What am I doing?

This
girl scares the shit out of me.

He punched out for the day and left abruptly.

Charlie remained at the front desk, giving him a few minutes to come and thank her.

Five minutes passed.

Nine minutes passed.

Fourteen minutes.

Seventeen.

“Hey Charlie. You can go home now.” Adam waved his hand at her in dismissal.

She punched out and ran into the kitchen to see if he was still there.

Feeling sorry for herself, Charlie sits in the bar after her evening shift and orders a drink. She thinks about Jesse and how insensitive it was of him to ignore her gift. It isn’t the money she spent, and it isn’t about getting him to admit he cares.

“A simple
thank you
. Nothing more, nothing less. How difficult would that have been?” she speaks to herself out loud like a crazy person.

She smokes about a half pack of cigarettes and downs four beers. She’s handling herself quite well, so she thinks. She isn’t crying or emotionally unstable at all. The more she drinks, the better she is able to fulfill the pity party she had planned to attend for herself.

Charlie waves to her server to order another drink when Ryan walks in.

“Hi.” Ryan flashes his warm smile.

“Hi.” She smiles back shyly.

“May I sit with you?”

She waves her hand, gesturing to the seat across from hers. “Of course.”

“What are you drinking?”

“I’m drinking a Gunflint Gold. But, I’m in the mood for an iron butterfly. Care to join me?”

“What’s an iron butterfly?” he says, leaning in closer to her.

“Vodka, Kahlua, and Bailey’s. On the rocks.”

“Sounds delicious. Count me in.”

For the next two hours, Charlie finds herself having fun. It has been a long time since she felt comfortable with someone. She doesn’t feel any tension or pressure. She isn’t worried what he’ll say next or if there is a lull in their conversation. There isn’t an apology to be made or a misunderstanding; just good conversation.

“Do you want to go somewhere, just get out of here for a while?” Ryan says.

“Why not? Oh, but I’ve had a little too much to drink. Is it okay if you drive?”

“No problem.”

Ryan opens the door for her as they walk outside.
This feels right
. This is how she feels she’s supposed to be treated. So she will let him.

The door opens and there is a bouquet of white daisies on the sidewalk. A thought creeps into her head and she shoos it out instantly. This night will not be ruined by speculation.

On the car ride to uptown, conversation continues smoothly and effortlessly. Charlie is allowing herself to have a good time and to leave the drama and annoyance of the past year back at The Crimson Cellar. She is now with someone new, going someplace she’s never been before. Making new memories. Not the same ones over and over again day after day.

As they pull into the parking lot, she looks at the small brick building. It’s quaint and looks like it has been there forever. A small hand-painted sign hanging over the front door says “Battery Acid.” Smiling widely, she looks at Ryan.

“You have a beautiful smile,” he says.

“Thanks,” she says and tries to hide her smile with her hand. Ryan reaches for it and kisses her knuckles gently.

“You ready?” he asks.

“Let’s go.”

She opens the car door, and before she can close it, Ryan is behind her. It isn’t until it’s too late that she realizes he had wanted to open it for her.

“Sorry. I’m really not used to this,” she says.

“Don’t apologize. C’mon, let’s go get some coffee.” Kissing her cheek, he takes her hand.

The kiss makes her flinch, but she decides to ignore it, hoping he hasn’t noticed.

Inside the café is unlike anything she’s felt before. The ambience is calming and smells like chocolate and coffee. She can’t help but inhale through her nose; the aroma is heavenly and she doesn’t want to waste a minute on just breathing. The walls are solid dark brick and small paintings for sale by local artists adorn them. There are white votive candles on every table, the seating is mismatched, and the tables are wooden and well-worn. There are only about six people in the entire place, including the one guy behind the counter waiting for them to order. She peeks at Ryan and he is waiting for her approval.

She nods with a shy smile and grips his hand tighter. “It’s perfect.”

He smiles. “What do you want to drink?”

“Mocha?” she asks.

“One mocha and one espresso for here,” he says to the barista.

Ryan takes Charlie’s hand and puts her into a dancing spin as he glides over to a table in the corner. A smile escapes her lips and a quick chuckle, ignoring the instantaneous spins she gets from the sudden movement.

“Sit here. I’ll get our drinks.” He pats the table and pulls the chair out for her.

Sitting down, she closes her eyes and takes in the smell of the place again.

By the time she opens her eyes, he is putting her cup down in front of her.

“You’re dangerous,” she says.

His eyebrows scrunch up and he tilts his head to the side as he sits down.

“You’re dangerous,” she repeats. “You shouldn’t go around doing this to unsuspecting girls. It’s not fair. You ruin us for all the other men out there.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” he says, still looking confused.

She laughs. “You make me feel like I
deserve
to be treated like a queen.”

“How?”

“Opening doors and compliments and quaint little coffee shops…” she fights back a tear, feeling silly. One escapes her eye and she is smiling, assuming it’s the alcohol playing with her emotion.

“No one has ever opened a car door for you?” he says, with a dismal look in his eyes, wiping away the fallen tear.

She takes a moment to think about the question.
“Thank you for tonight. I’m having a great time.” She leans across the tiny tabletop and gives him a kiss.

The rest of the evening is flawless. They sit at the café for a little over an hour, talking about schools, jobs, friends, movies, and books. There is a definite attraction between the two of them; any onlooker could have confirmed it. But he seems to note her inexperience and is slowing his pace.
Nothing about the evening makes her feel as though he has expectations of a physical encounter once it is over, but she is hoping for it.

Charlie had left her car at The Crimson. Ryan pulls into the parking lot and parks next to her vehicle as the evening comes to a close. He thanks her for an unforgettable date and gestures, seeking approval for a kiss. She leans in and obliges. His dreadlocks smell like piña colada and his cologne smells like patchouli; it is a pleasant combination. His lips are soft and unassuming.

“Take me home with you.” Her body is burning. Even her fingertips feel warm.

“Have you ever…I mean…are you sure?” He is so genuine, sincere and calming.

She doesn’t trust him completely, but having a friendship for almost a year with Jesse hadn’t made her trust him, either. She isn’t going to wait over a year when the opportunity is sitting right in front of her now. If she says “no,” she’ll never forgive herself. Here is this tall, good-looking, gentle man that is asking her if she really wants to have sex with him. Of all the men in her past, of all the tears that she’s poured, of all the heartbreak and disappointment she has endured, Ryan seems like the perfect choice. He doesn’t know about her past and doesn’t know what she used to look like. He doesn’t care about what Jesse will think, hasn’t worked at the restaurant, and hasn’t been there for the past year to watch Charlie make a fool out of herself. There is very little risk involved.