Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans (12 page)

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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Glory St. Clair#8

BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
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I indulged in a little fantasy about what could happen in Rafe’s office if these men really had reached some kind of truce. Oh, yeah. And I’d be in the middle. My cheeks felt warm, my thoughts well blocked, as we eased through the crowd to the door behind the stage.

“She’s attached herself to me like a leech. Threatening my
friends. I don’t know how to get rid of her. Any suggestions?” I saw the men exchange glances, for once in accord about something but silent until we got past the stage. The famous band on tap for the night had questions for Rafe about the venue. Then one of the guys recognized me from a party I’d attended with Ray. It would have been rude to just brush him off so I gave the man a Ray update. I was glad I could say Israel Caine was on the wagon and writing music again.

Finally Jerry just grabbed my hand, pulled me into Rafe’s office, and slammed the door once Rafe slipped in behind me. The soundproofing there was impressive and we soaked in the sudden silence. It took me a minute to realize we weren’t alone.

“Here’s our suggestion, Gloriana.” Jerry gestured at the woman who sat on the corner of Rafe’s desk. Gorgeous. And a lot of her. When she stood, she hit over six feet in her platform tennis shoes. She had glorious golden red hair streaked with black and the iciest blue eyes I’d ever seen. Right now they examined me until I squirmed and wanted to check to see if a black bra strap was showing. Instead, I took a breath. Shifter.

“Hello. Are you here to get Alesa off my back?” I smiled. “I’d be forever grateful.”

“No kidding.” She didn’t smile back. Hmm. “Demons are after only one thing, Glory St. Clair. No matter what they tell you they want. You dumb enough to give one of them your soul?”

That wiped the smile off my face. “No.”

“Ease up, Laurie.” Rafe put his hand on my shoulder. Jerry had already laid his hand on my other one.

“She’s got to get this straight right now. I can’t protect her if she’s running around with a demon sidekick like they’re friends or something.” Laurie, since apparently that was her name, crossed her arms over her chest. It wasn’t a big bosom, but decent. The kind I’d like to have. So I could wear a blouse that buttoned up the front and I wouldn’t have to worry about it gapping open. You know what I mean?

“Who the hell is this? It’s not like I have a choice, guys. Of course I don’t want to be near Alesa. But what can I do? She’s been making threats. How is this person supposed to protect me from a demon?” I knew what this was now. They’d hired another bodyguard for me. Hah! And Jerry wasn’t taking chances this time. A female bodyguard. He and Rafe had actually agreed to work together. I liked that, but not that they’d sneaked around and arranged this without consulting me.

“Laurie Mehta. She’s a were-cat. Shifts into a Bengal tiger.” Rafe grinned. “You should see it, Glory. Absolutely awesome. Nothing bigger on the cat grid. She can take out whatever comes after you.”

“Even a demon? Isn’t that why you’re hiring her?” I tapped my foot. “What can a were-cat do against a demon?”

“More than you think.” Laurie aimed those glacial eyes at me and I had to steel myself not to squirm. She had some real intensity going there. “I’ve trained with some of the best spiritualists in the business. Believe it or not I can shut your demoness down when she tries some of her crap.” She smiled and polished her pale pink nails on her brown T-shirt. She wore a no-nonsense outfit of that plain T-shirt with drawstring khakis. I hated to tell her but, if she was going to run around with me, she was going to have to upgrade her look.

“Sounds like bragging to me. I’ve never seen anyone have any effect on Alesa except for an ex-priest. And even he couldn’t do it alone.” I shook my head. “Come on, guys. Why are you wasting your money?”

“First, it’s not a waste. You’re determined to have business with MacDonald, Gloriana, and Laurie can be present for every minute of your visits with him.” Jerry smiled his approval of the were-cat. “Second, if she can control Alesa, then I will definitely feel better about your being around her. I stopped by your shop earlier and Erin said you’d disappeared with the demon. I sure as hell couldn’t find you.”

“Yes, I’ll tell you about that later. Something really cool happened.” I heard the excitement in my voice. Uh-oh. Cool
and Alesa together? Was I being pulled over to the dark side? No, it was the power I was excited about. Alesa had just called it to my attention.

I saw Laurie whispering with Rafe. They would make a nice couple. If nothing else I should encourage that. Let Rafe go and he could move on to someone he could be happy with. He smiled at something she said. Yes, a were-cat would be a good mate for him. I wanted to slap myself in the head. Mate? When Alesa was supposedly carrying his child?

“Glory?” Rafe stood in front of me. “You can’t be alone with Alesa all the time. She’s dangerous. We both know that.” He looked over his shoulder to where Jerry was giving me a “Do this, Gloriana” stare.

“Yes, though the apartment is getting pretty crowded.” I took Rafe’s hand. “I know you mean well and I
am
freakedout by having Alesa around. She’s been kicked out of the hotel. Apparently she started a fire there today. Probably on purpose. So I’m going to let her sleep on the couch. Where will Laurie sack out?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m used to the bodyguard gig. Won’t be the first time I’ve bedded down on the floor.” Laurie nodded at Jerry. “Now the demon’s living with her. Seems I hired on just in time.”

“No kidding. Gloriana, why are you allowing that?” Jerry put his arm around me.

“I didn’t feel like I had a choice. For some reason Alesa is determined to stay with me. She can hurt my friends, hurt me. Shit, she’s literally hell on wheels. And we need to keep an eye on her until we know if she’s carrying Rafe’s child.” I looked at Laurie. “Seriously? You think you can handle her? And squeeze into an overcrowded apartment?”

“It’s what I’m paid to do. And as long as you have plenty of meat and a bathtub, I’ll be fine. I do like my soaks. Which I can do during the day while you sleep.”

“Uh, yeah. I can manage that.” I didn’t want to picture a Bengal tiger tearing into sides of beef then soaking in a tub
to get the blood off. Weird. But then my life was one long episode of “Weird Gloriana.”

“I’ve got the meat deliveries all arranged, Gloriana. They’ll happen during your death sleep. Won’t disturb you at all.” Jerry dragged me toward the door. “Now let’s go upstairs and explain to our friends why you came into the club with a demon.”

“Aw, Jer, did they all smell Alesa?” I dreaded the scene.

“Of course. Richard was on his feet with a crucifix as soon as you hit the door.” Jerry sighed. “Coming, Laurie?”

“On the clock right now, Jerry.” Laurie smiled. “Relax, Glory. I’ve got your back. This demon will no longer be a problem. Guaranteed.”

I smiled back. Guaranteed? Either Laurie had serious skills or she was terrifyingly overconfident. Either way, Alesa versus the tiger? I wanted a front-row seat for that party.

“G
lory
, Aggie called me tonight. About shoe shopping. You promised her we’d go together?” Flo made a little face. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“I’m sorry. Too much on my mind.” I looked over the railing and saw Alesa dancing with a man who had also embraced the black leather philosophy. She threw back her head and laughed as they shook their butts to the beat. The band was kicking it into high gear and the floor was packed. I felt ancient, sitting up there watching. But the mood for dancing like a wild thing had left me as soon as I’d seen Richard’s frowning disapproval.

“I can see that you’re upset.” Flo put her hand on mine. “It’s all right,
mia amica
. We will go shopping with the Siren. Whatever you want. I hate this demon thing. And don’t mind Ricardo. He is worried about me. But I promised him not to get near the she-devil. You won’t bring her to the mall, will you?” Flo clutched my hand. “Swear it!”

“Relax, Flo. I won’t. Cross my heart.” I knew Flo was
scared of what would happen if Alesa tried to persuade her to sell her soul to Lucifer. Flo had almost caved once. Because she wanted to see her own reflection. It drove her nuts that I could see mine and she couldn’t see hers. She’d gotten a glimpse of her reflection when a pair of demons had made a run at her soul. Then they’d snatched the mirror trick away. Only Flo’s absolute devotion to her very devout husband had helped her resist hell’s diabolical promises. Hey, she figured she was going to live forever anyway.

“I am so, um, weak when it comes to resisting what I want. You know?” Flo glanced at Richard, who was talking to Jerry and Damian on the other side of the table.

“No, you’re strong. But I wouldn’t want either of us put to the test again.” I squeezed her hand. “Thanks for helping me with Aggie. I needed for her to give Ian a blood sample. For some tests he’s running. So I had to bribe her with shoe shopping. She still wants to be pals with us.”

“And who wouldn’t want to be our friends, I ask?” Flo grinned. “But what’s this about blood samples? For Ian MacDonald? Does Jeremiah know?”

“Yes. That’s one reason I have a new bodyguard. Because I’m going to be seeing Ian not only for Alesa but for myself. To figure out why I always have those weird reactions to Ian’s drugs.” I pulled Flo’s hand to my stomach. “Feel. I have a lumpy stomach now, Flo. Because I took a new drug and had a strange reaction to it.”

“Why did you take it? Will you never learn?” Flo poked my tummy. “This is strange. You never had this before. I remember how you looked—not thin, more like a Rubens painting, round and pretty and very smooth. What was the drug for?”

“It was a wonder drug. Penny took it too. It let us eat real food.” I sighed. “You see why I had to try it?”

“You and your craving for such things. Cheetos! Chocolate!” Flo shook her head. “Me? I never wish for Nonna’s pasta. Though it could make you weep, I tell you.
Delizio!

She kissed her fingertips in typical Italian fashion. “It was too long ago, I have moved on.” She grabbed my arm. “But, Glory, you know you always have bad things happen to you with Ian’s drugs!”

“So I’m stupid.” I was getting irritated, more with myself than with Flo. “I get that. But these blood tests helped Ian find out something important.” My eyes suddenly filled with tears.

“What?
Amica
, what is this?” Flo gestured for Richard. “Ricardo, come here.”

“No, I shouldn’t…” Then I was sobbing on her shoulder.

“Life of the party, isn’t she?” Laurie stood behind Flo.

“What’s going on?” Jerry sat in the chair beside me.

I couldn’t quit crying while Flo patted my back and murmured soothing Italian words in my ear. Finally I seemed to run dry and sat up.

“Sorry about that.” I sniffed and looked around for a tissue.

Laurie patted her pockets. “Guess this gig’s going to have different requirements from guarding a blood importer for the Transylvanian mob. He never cried. At least not until I told him I was leaving.” She sighed when she came up empty.

“Yeah, start carrying tissues, an extra lipstick in my favorite color and sunglasses, in case I have swollen eyes from all the weeping and wailing I’m going to do.” I gratefully took the tissue Flo dug out of her designer clutch. “And if that mobster had the issues I’ve had lately, I bet he would have had a meltdown too.” I mopped at my eyes.

“I get a bonus for these crying jags, Jerry?” Laurie raised her eyebrows at him. He was right beside me now, as usual speechless when I fall apart.

“Don’t promise her that, Jer, you’d go broke.” I dredged up a smile and looked around the table. “Sorry, guys. Guess I needed to unload and Flo has the best shoulder for that.” I glanced at Jerry. “I know. Yours is great, but you always want to fix things.”

“I could fix if I knew what in the hell you are crying about,
mia amica
.” Flo handed me another tissue. “We can go to the ladies room. Do something about your makeup.”

“Too crowded. Employee break room. Rafe won’t mind.” I stood. “Guess Laurie comes with us.”

“Lucky me. Yes, I do.” She was right on our heels.

I heard Jerry whispering excuses to Damian and Richard. I stopped and turned around. “Tell them my problem. Maybe they can help me figure this thing out.”

“You’re sure?” Jerry was on his feet and by my side in an instant.

“If it won’t get me kicked out of town by the council. First make Damian promise this won’t go to them.” I sighed. “That’s all I need, a town eviction notice.”

“My brother will not dare.” Flo clearly shot Damian a hot mental message and he jumped to his feet. They exchanged glares and a few hissed words in Italian, not bothering to use mental messages. Finally they both gestured and Damian sat again.

“Relax, Gloriana. I am your friend first of all, council member second, as my sister reminds me.” He gave me a charming smile, obviously able to turn his mood around on a dime.

“Thanks, Damian.” My voice cracked and I felt the urge to sob again.

“See? It’s settled. Now let’s go.” Flo pulled me toward the stairs.

With the band playing, the employee break room was empty as I knew it would be. I used the mirror and supplies from my purse to erase all signs of my crying jag. Enough waterworks. Not even when I told Flo the whole story. And I was going to have to. She paced the room while she waited for me to finish with lipstick and mascara. Her frowning glances at me in front of the mirror made me realize I was torturing her with this so I hurried.

“Sorry, pal. Now about the blood samples. Ian discovered from the first one he took that when Jerry turned me vampire
I wasn’t…” I sucked in a breath. Not crying. No, no, no. “Human.”

“Excuse me?” Laurie said this first. She actually stepped close to me, picked up my hand and sniffed my skin. “I don’t get it. Vampire, that’s all I’m reading. And the various cosmetics, hairspray and that demon you’ve been consorting with.”

“Not human?” Flo’s eyes were wide. “
Ridicolo!
You know what you were before. You told me about your life in London. Your first husband. How you met Jeremiah. Is this some trick to hurt your lover? Part of the feud between these Scots? In Italia there were forever these vendettas. Pah! Why can’t these men let them go?”

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