Recipe for Kisses (19 page)

“In a hurry?” he asked with a smile.

She ripped open the condom and rolled it over his length, her fingers trembling at how he was both hard and soft under her fingertips.

She met his gaze and didn’t bother to hide what she felt for him. It was complicated and confusing, but this man had changed her, and, although she wouldn’t say the word out loud, she let him see the love shining in her eyes. “I need you,” she whispered. What she meant was
I love you.

He stilled for a moment then drove into her, wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her close. They moved together, Ben’s face buried in her hair, and it was perfect. She felt herself rise again, her body racing toward another release. Just before she reached the ultimate peak, Ben lifted his head, cupping her face between his hands. His beautiful blue eyes held hers, then his gaze opened and for an instant he wasn’t hiding either. Everything he was feeling was right there, and when they came together and he whispered her name like a prayer, it sounded like
I love you
.

L
ater that week, Ben felt happier than he’d ever imagined as he and Chloe walked toward the Mexican restaurant in downtown Denver where they were meeting her friends. It was a celebration dinner, although his dad had thrown a fit wondering why Ben would willingly be celebrating Chloe’s success at making the toy store a household name in the Mile High city.

The morning before Ben came back to town, Chloe’s friend Kendall had shown up with a camera crew to film campers having fun with merchandise from The Toy Chest. Kendall talked to Sam about the camp, the toys she’d donated, and the volunteering Chloe did with the kids. Then the reporter interviewed Chloe about the shop, the classes and family activities she sponsored, the store’s history in the neighborhood, and why it was important for people to support local businesses.

She’d also interviewed some of the kids, including Zach and Abby, about the toys and about their experience at the store. Despite Ben’s negative feelings about the store, he couldn’t help but share in their excitement. The kids felt like they were part of something, probably for the first time in their lives. He discovered that Chloe hosted several minireunions for campers throughout the year. It was another reminder of her dedication both to The Toy Chest and to the community she served.

Overall, it had made Ben feel like the biggest ass on the planet for trying to shut it down. He’d tried to talk to Chloe again, but she brushed aside his concerns. Yesterday the feature story had aired on Kendall’s highly rated morning show, and families had flooded the store looking for toys and activities to entertain their kids during the last weeks of summer vacation. His niece and nephew had stayed at camp for a few extra days, but he knew they’d be thrilled to see the increase in business.

A few people pointed at him as they walked into the crowded restaurant, and the hostess asked for his autograph and a photo before she seated them. Ben would have liked to refuse, but Chloe was continually entertained by his celebrity status and had gamely snapped the picture, encouraging him to throw an arm around the young girl’s shoulders.

They approached the table where Kendall sat with a tall man with lighter hair and a suntan that spoke more of working outside than a life of leisure. He stood and gave Chloe a friendly hug before Kendall grabbed her and squeezed tightly.

“It was so good,” Kendall confirmed. “We’ve gotten more hits on the station’s Facebook page today.”

Chloe couldn’t hide her smile. “The store was crowded all day, and sales were at an all-time high on our website.”

Kendall gave Ben a tiny wave and apologetic smile. “I hope it’s ok when she foils your dastardly plans for ruining one of Denver’s new favorite local businesses.”

“That’s not how it is,” Chloe said, nudging her friend.

The other man straightened and stood taller, as if he expected Ben to start screaming at the cheeky journalist.

“It’s fine,” Ben said, earning a doubtful stare from all three of them. “I’m proud of her.”

He was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Kendall. “Then welcome to the celebration, chef. This is my fiancé, Ty Bishop.”

Ben stuck out his hand and shook the other man’s, which was strong and callused. “I’m a fan of your show,” Ty told him as they sat back down.

“That makes one of us.”

Ty laughed as a waitress came by, taking Ben’s beer order along with Chloe’s request for a glass of sangria. “Our chef would like to make you something special, items that aren’t on the menu.” When she winced as Ben opened his mouth, he understood she also expected an outburst of temper.

Instead he smiled. “This is her night,” he said, pointing to Chloe. “She’s in charge.”

The waitress switched her gaze to Chloe, who nodded even as she blushed. “Please tell the chef thank you.”

“Between everyone staring at these two,” Ty said to Chloe with a wink, “you and I might as well be invisible.”

“Never to me,” Kendall told him and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

Ben felt Chloe shift uncomfortably next to him. He draped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “You’re the star tonight,” he whispered against her hair and she relaxed against him.

They talked a little more about the feature, then the conversation switched to Ty’s work with conservation efforts around Denver. It was obvious that despite her local fame, Kendall was just as happy to let her fiancé have the spotlight. Ben liked getting to know people who weren’t impressed by celebrity status, his or anyone else’s. This was also the first double date he’d ever had, and the normalcy of it gave him a strange feeling of contentment.

The waitress brought a round of appetizers to the table.

“I can see how you’re useful to have around,” Ty said around a bite of black-bean-and-goat-cheese quesadilla. “This is fantastic.”

Ben laughed and took a bite himself. In addition to the quesadillas, there were blackened jalapeños stuffed with cheese and artichokes. They were simple, but the cheese mixture perfectly balanced the heat of the peppers. He appreciated the efforts the chef had gone to and made a quick appearance in the kitchen to personally thank him and the rest of the staff.

When he returned, Chloe excused herself to go to the bathroom. Ben continued to talk with Kendall and Ty, but when the main course arrived and she still wasn’t back, he glanced toward the hallway that led to the restrooms.

“I should check on her,” Kendall said, following his gaze.

“I’ll go.” He stood, a sick feeling trying to take hold in his stomach. He pushed it away, telling himself that he was overreacting, but had no problem brushing past the other patrons, who called to him as he moved through the crowded restaurant.

As soon as he turned the corner from the main dining area, he saw Chloe in the small room obviously reserved for private events. He released a shaky breath then noticed the man standing across from her. Everything about him was average—his height and build, his slightly receding hairline and wire-rimmed glasses. Next to him was a short, plain woman with her hair pulled back in a tight bun. For a moment Ben figured the couple had seen Chloe on TV and stopped her to chat. As he got closer he realized Chloe’s posture was rigid and the man was looking at her through eyes narrowed with rage.

Ben had a feeling he knew exactly who the guy was to Chloe, and he charged forward, the door to the room rattling on its hinges as he slammed it open. Three sets of eyes flicked to him, but all he cared about was Chloe. He expected her to look relieved to see him, but instead there was a warning in her gaze. He ignored it, of course.

“Let me guess,” he growled. “You’re the ex-husband?”

The man’s gaze zeroed in on Chloe. “This is a private conversation that is none of your business.”

“I’m making it my business,” he bellowed, pointing at the couple. “You need to get the fuck out of here.”

The woman started to move toward the door, but the man clamped a hand on her wrist.

“Who are you?” he asked Ben.

“I’m your worst nightmare,” Ben spat back and thought he heard a snort from Chloe. He ignored that, too. After weeks of keeping his temper in check, it was almost a relief for anger to coalesce inside him, to channel all his latent frustration at the man who had hurt the woman he loved.

Whoa.

He opened his mouth but no words came out as the implications of that realization zinged through him. He glanced over his shoulder at Chloe, who looked at him as if he were crazy.

Crazy about her.

“Did you hire a meathead bodyguard now?” the man said to Chloe.

Ben snapped to attention. That little pissant had just called him a meathead.

He took a step forward, but paused when Chloe curled her fingers around his arm. She moved around him, her spine straight as she faced her ex-husband.

C
HAPTER FIFTEEN

C
hloe stepped forward. “I don’t need a bodyguard, Jonathan.” She hated that her voice shook. She cleared her throat and said more firmly, “I have a permanent restraining order that you’re violating.”

“I don’t give a damn about the restraining order. It was bullshit back then, and it still is. I thought you moved to Milwaukee.”

“I lied.”

Something flashed in her ex-husband’s gaze, as if he was happy she’d tried to deceive him.

“Hiding out, like the mouse you’ve always been.”

Chloe felt energy surge off Ben and was certain if it weren’t for her gentle pressure on his arm, he would have launched himself at Jonathan.

“I’ve stopped hiding. You have no claim to me. No power anymore. I let you knock me around, destroying my pride and my heart for too long. I’m stronger than that now, and I’m not afraid of you.” The woman next to him stiffened and visibly swallowed.

“Thatta girl,” she heard Ben whisper behind her.

“Whatever.” Jonathan scoffed. “You needed me more than I ever needed you. Hell, the only reason I married you was because I felt sorry for you. We got in some fights. It’s what couples do. If you wouldn’t have blown it out of proportion—”

“You hit me, Jonathan.” Her tone was quiet but sure. “It was abuse, and I’m guessing I wasn’t the first or last.” She turned to the woman next to him. “He’s an abusive man, and if he hasn’t yet, he will hurt you.”

The woman’s mouth thinned as her gaze dropped.

“He already has,” Chloe whispered.

“Shut up, Chloe.” Jonathan gripped the woman harder. “My life is none of your business.”

Chloe ignored him, speaking directly to the woman. “You can reach me through the toy store. We have a website with all my contact information. If you need help—”

“Shut up,” Jonathan hissed through gritted teeth. If Chloe had been paying closer attention to her ex-husband, she would have heard the change in his tone. Jonathan’s tell before he lost it had always been his voice. He became almost preternaturally quiet before he snapped.

“It doesn’t have to be like this,” Chloe said quietly. “You deserve better.”

Jonathan’s hand shot out like a rocket, grabbing a fistful of her hair before she could step away. Her months of self-defense lessons flashed through her mind, how she should lift her knee at the same time she tried to drive her knuckles into his Adam’s apple. She wasn’t the same person she’d been during her marriage, when she’d been afraid that fighting back would make it worse. But somehow she couldn’t move as he wrenched her forward. Couldn’t breathe as the smell of his sweat clogged her nostrils, and panic finally made its way into her consciousness. Then he was gone and she stumbled back, her hip slamming into the corner of a table before she righted herself.

A woman’s scream pierced the air, and Chloe shook her head to clear it, focusing on her ex-husband’s limp body now sprawled along the ground. Ben was standing over him, his broad back bristling with angry energy. She caught a glimpse of his face, the fury in his gaze as he lifted Jonathan by his shirtfront. Her ex-husband moaned as his head snapped back, blood gushing from a nose that was clearly broken.

As Ben drew back his arm for another punch, Chloe surged forward. “Stop! Ben, don’t.”

He paused but didn’t release Jonathan or lower his arm. She grabbed on to him, feeling like she was trying to wrap her arms around a tank.

“I’m going to kill him for hurting you,” he shouted.

“Let him go, Ben.” He remained still for a moment then took a breath, pushing Jonathan away. She heard a commotion behind them and looked over her shoulder to see several members of the waitstaff staring at them.

“He attacked me.” Jonathan sounded like a congested pig, squealing about how Ben had gone after him unprovoked as his date handed him a cloth napkin for his face. “He’s a fucking beast, just like everyone says.”

“Shut up, Jonathan,” Chloe said then gave Ben a shove toward the door to the private dining room. “We need to get out of here.”

The restaurant’s manager and a man in a white uniform and tall hat who must have been the head chef stepped forward. Chloe could see a few of the patrons who’d gathered outside to watch the scene holding up cell phones. How much had they gotten on camera? A sinking pit formed in her stomach.

“Mr. Haddox,” the manager said, “can you explain—”

“I have a restraining order against that man,” she said quickly. She pointed to Jonathan, who was now slumped in a chair, his face covered by a napkin. His girlfriend stood next to him as the waitstaff swarmed about. She glanced up at Chloe then squeezed shut her eyes and nodded, a silent communication that Chloe understood all too well.

She didn’t regret offering help to the woman but now wondered what price they would pay for the endeavor.

A
n hour later, Ben tossed his cell phone to the coffee table in Chloe’s living room.

“Well?” she asked, pressing a bag of ice to his knuckles.

“A couple of my endorsement deals have been canceled, and Michael expects more to roll in as the interview with your ex-husband gains traction.”

With her free hand, Chloe punched a few keys on her laptop. “The YouTube video already has a few hundred thousand views. It’s going viral, Ben. How much more traction can there be?”

“Michael’s working to have the content taken down.”

“But it’s out there. You can’t take that back.”

No matter how much he wanted to. Whoever had taken the video of the fight had only recorded the last several seconds when Ben had lifted a much smaller and already injured Jonathan, ready to drive his fist into the man’s face for a second time. Even Ben admitted he looked wild and out of control.

Of course, that was how he’d felt at the moment, but it wasn’t the whole story. Unfortunately, Jonathan had given an interview from the ER to one of the local stations, claiming that Ben had attacked him unprovoked after Jonathan had made a seemingly innocent comment about Ben’s skills in the kitchen. “What am I going to tell Abby and Zach?”

“I called Sam and explained the situation while you were on your phone with the publicist. There’s a strict no-electronics rule at Bryce Hollow, but you’re going to need to tell them before they get down here and find out.”

“I spent a weekend talking to the kids at camp about how there are better ways to deal with problems than violence.” He clenched his fist, hissing out a breath as his swollen, stiff knuckles protested the movement. “I’m a total fraud.”

“You’re not.” Chloe shifted the ice on his hand. “If I come forward and explain why Jonathan—”

“No.” Ben took the bag from her and placed it next to his phone. “You shouldn’t have to defend me. I was the one who hit the guy.”

“Because he went after me.”

“I don’t want that kind of attention on you.”

“There’s footage from the store airing alongside the other.” She turned her laptop so that he could see the screen. “This was the day you were there when the class got out. Someone took a video of you posing for pictures. There’s an online article about how you’re unstable with your Dr.-Jekyll-and-Mr.-Hyde personalities.”

He took the laptop from her hand, closed the screen, and added it to the pile on the coffee table. “Maybe there’s something to that.” He forced himself to meet her hazel eyes. “Saying I wanted to kill your ex-husband wasn’t just me mouthing off. When he grabbed you . . .” He trailed off, lifting his fingers to tangle them gently in her curls. “It was different from anything I’d ever felt, Chloe. Yes, I blow my top in the kitchen, but with Jonathan I felt out of control for the first time in a long time. Even when you grabbed me, I wanted to shake you off and keep at him.” He ran a hand through his hair, hating to say the words. “What if it was you instead?”

“You didn’t,” she answered immediately. “You wouldn’t.”

She brought her finger to his lips when he would have said more. “But for future reference, I need you to understand that I can take care of myself.”

“It didn’t look like it, Chloe. You didn’t fight him.”

“He took me by surprise. Fighting doesn’t always have to mean beating the tar out of someone. I’m not looking for a superhero to save me.”

He shrugged. “I want to keep you safe.”

“I want the same thing for you.” She crawled into his lap, straddling his hips and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her heart beating against his chest was the most wonderful thing he’d ever felt. “You put your career and everything you’ve worked for in jeopardy tonight.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It will if Child Protective Services gets involved.”

He shook his head. “That’s not an option.”

“Abby and Zach have to be your first priority, and you have to be a role model for them. There are better ways to handle problems than with your fists.”

“Name one.”

“Your words.”

He coughed out a disbelieving laugh. “You sound like a preschool teacher.” He wanted it to be a joke, to forget about those awful minutes and go back to the abandoned celebration.

“You scared me tonight,” she whispered, and the words sliced across him like a razor blade. “I’ve had enough anger and fear in my life. I need to know I’ve left that behind.”

Ben let the meaning of what she was saying sink into him. He understood why she felt that way, and he wanted to be that man. Damn it if he hadn’t been trying to change. For her. For Zach and Abby. His whole body ached with the effort of it.

What if he couldn’t? The anger he’d felt today had risen up swift and strong, like a raging current, and he’d almost drowned in the intensity of it. But when he’d finally given in and let it wash over him, it had felt good. Righteous, even, although he knew Chloe didn’t see it that way.

And what if he exploded again only it wasn’t directed at someone as deserving as her scumbag ex-husband? What if it were Chloe or one of the kids or their friends or an annoying teacher? That was the only good thing about the Beast persona. Before he’d come back to Denver, people had expected him to be a jackass. Hell, the producers on the show had encouraged it. Now when he got mad about something real, something that mattered, it came back to bite him.

Now it was all too much. The responsibility of two kids, of keeping his family on the right track. The thought of his own restaurant. Chloe’s expectations.

He stood abruptly, setting Chloe none too gently on the sofa. She shook her head, reaching for him as if she knew what he was going to say.

“I didn’t mean—” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m upset about what happened tonight, the position you’re in now.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, his voice tight. “But that was who I am, Chloe. As much as you can’t deal with my anger, I can’t spend my life tiptoeing around, worried that a muttered curse or frustrated outburst will send you running.”

“Tonight was more than that, Ben.”

“I was trying to protect someone . . .” He stopped, unable to say the words when they wouldn’t change anything. “Someone I care about,” he finished.

“I know.”

He shook his head. “No. You’re right. You need something more than I can give you, someone different than who I am. This was never meant to last. Isn’t that what you told me?”

“I was wrong and scared. It’s more than that and you know it. I love you, Ben.”

Nothing she could have said would have affected him more. But he hid it, put his walls back up before he could give in to what his heart wanted. He wasn’t that man, and it was time he stopped pretending. “Doesn’t change the reality,” he told her.

“Please.” She stood and took a step closer to him. “Don’t go. Not tonight.”

“I—” His protest died on his lips when she lifted her shirt over her head then shimmied out of her dark jeans, standing before him in nothing but her bra and panties. A matching set, pink with lace edges and transparent enough that he could just see . . .

Nope. Not going there.

“You aren’t playing fair,” he said on a harsh breath.

“This isn’t a game.” Her voice was husky, and she pressed her full lips together as she reached for him.

He was screaming at himself on the inside, knowing he had to get away. If he took her in his arms now, he’d never let her go. “You say it’s not a game, but it feels like we’re both losing here.” He took a step back, his fists balling at his sides. “Good-bye, Chloe.”

He turned on his heel, but not before he saw the heartbreak in her eyes. It didn’t stop him, though, and even through the aching hurt that threatened to overtake him, he kept moving. One foot in front of the other until he was out of her life for good.