Reconcilable Differences: A 'Having It All' Novel (6 page)

That’s it? That’s all he was going to say? Thank God! He
neither made a big deal out of it nor contradicted her. Kate drew a breath and
returned her attention to her clients. It was their reaction that mattered
most. She swallowed, her throat hard. “If that concerns you… I mean if you are
bothered by that… now is the time to say so. I will gladly refer you to another
mediator–”
Please say no.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Kate,” D'arcy said. “You’ve come to
us highly recommended. I don’t think my Mother would–”

“Oh, if D’arcee’s
mother
recommended you, Kate, then there’s no question. No one else will do.”

Kate peered at Eli, puzzled by the note of sarcasm in his
drawling voice. “Are you sure?”

Eli’s face softened, and his smile grew warm and genuine.
“Really. No one cares what happened in college. Stop worrying about it. It’s
all good.” He glanced at Simon. “Right? You’re cool with it, huh?”

Kate glanced sideways and caught Simon’s nod, his brief
enigmatic smile. “Of course. That was many years ago.”

She steadied her rapid breathing with a hand on her
windpipe, wishing her pulse would settle down, and took comfort from her Celtic
knot pendant. She nodded and nodded again, wetting her dry lips. “Alright then.
Let’s continue. I’d like to discuss the nature of your dialogue at the moment.
You were very quiet last week, and I hope you are both comfortable talking to
each other right now, and talking about your relationship over the past while.
Did you each have time to prepare as I asked you to?”

Eli clutched a page scrawled with spiderwebs, and nodded.
He looked a little anxious, but eager, she thought. He wore the same leather
jacket as last week. He always managed to look careless, a little dangerous,
like a sexy college student.

Oh, geez.
Don't think about sexy college students, Kate!

D'arcy, on the other hand, was somber and sullen. She was
dressed as stylishly as before, with a chunky, tweed jacket over a loose,
untucked blue blouse, and a dark pencil skirt with high boots. But her posture
was slumped. A study in contradictions, that one.

Kate addressed Eli. “Why don’t you go first? No one will
interrupt until you’re finished, at which time I may prompt you.” She turned to
D'arcy. “Then, you’ll have a turn.”

D'arcy made no reply, her eyes darting up and down
furtively, like one of those high-strung monkeys at the zoo, always looking
guilty, or scheming.

Eli’s voice was low, soft, reluctant. “Um. Well, things
were getting kinda rough at home. I was busy with shows and openings last
winter. I thought D’arcee’d be really happy for me, y‘know? After all the
struggles. But she starts nagging, eh? ‘You’re never home anymore...You’re
drinking too much...I don’t want all those strangers in the house at all
hours...Who was
she
?’”
Eli complained in a simpering falsetto, punctuating his words with a jabbing
forefinger in the air. D'arcy perked up at that, tutting and rolling her eyes
toward the ceiling in outrage. Kate held up a staying hand and sent a soothing
glance in her direction.

Eli continued. “Always something. I was getting pretty
sick of it. After more than a few battles, I split. I tried going back a couple
times, to make up, but it just got worse. I’ve been staying with friends, or at
my studio, since July.”

Three months
separated.
Kate leaned forward onto her elbows and nodded to
encourage him to continue, making sure to lock eyes with him, to let him know
he had her undivided attention, and making a mental note to record how she read
and used non-verbal behaviors in session. She sensed Simon, beside her, echoing
her gesture by leaning forward, his hands steepled in front of his firm lips, a
thoughtful gesture she recognized as signature.

“So. She didn’t like the changes.” He straightened his
spine, shaking his head. “I’m an artist, right? There’s no guarantee you’re
ever gonna make a buck. Yoau do it because … well ya just gotta. It’s a
passion.” His attractive face looked as earnest as a child’s. “So when you get
a big break, damn! What are the odds, eh? Ya gotta go with it.” He flashed a
bright smile. D'arcy sat back and crossed her arms suddenly, tossing both her
head and her eyes away from Eli, as though he’d slapped her.

Eli squirmed, and darted a glance at D'arcy beside him
before continuing. “You gotta understand. A lot of what’s been happening is
completely outta my control.”

Kate nodded again, her eyebrows raised in question.

“There’s a big machine out there. The ‘Art World’, ya
know? One day you’re alone in your studio, the next, you’re part of it.
Geoffrey, my new agent, told me, we’re gonna do
this
, ya gotta be
there
.”
Eli’s hands flipped open on one side, then the other, to illustrate his story.
“So, suddenly there are all these people in my life.” Eli’s face opened as if
to share his incredulity that this might have occurred. His enthusiasm was
infectious.

“When Geoffrey sets up an opening, a showing, something…
I have to be there. It’s expected. I had to go on a couple trips. And I met
some people… artists, gallery owners, some collectors, ya know? So I have some
new friends, and they’re great people, sophisticated, exciting. Suddenly I
belong somewhere and I’m respected.” Eli pulled his shoulders back. “And there
are groupies. Who knew? Everybody loves me all of a sudden.” He shrugged, his
eyes wide. Though these changes might have taken him by surprise, it was no
secret he was enjoying the attention and praise.

Simon cleared his throat, and Kate shot a worried glance
in his direction, but barely registered his expression, she was so intent on
Eli’s story.

D'arcy and Sharon both leaned in, as though they couldn’t
wait to hear the next part. They both shot looks at him that would kill, and he
squirmed under their scrutiny, hiding his furtive dark eyes under a furrowed
brow. Sharon had hinted to Kate that there might have been an affair or two.

“Oh, yeah. They think they’ve got somethin’ on me, but
she’s got it all wrong.” Eli leaned back, darting a desperate glance across at
Simon, as though calling for a lifeline. “Like I can help it when they’re
throwing themselves at me night and day.” Eli’s threw his arms wide, the look
of a persecuted saint upon his features. Kate glanced up quickly to assess the
women’s reactions, and was not surprised to find they both had arch, suspicious
expressions on their faces. D’arcee’s anger appeared to be simmering to the
surface, but Sharon was as smug as a fat house cat with telltale feathers
clinging to her lips.

“You slept with them, Eli, or at least one of them. Don’t
try to deny it.” D’arcee’s voice was grim. She looked utterly deflated. Kate
realized this was, understandably, perhaps the worst thing Eli could possibly
have done.

“Objection,” Simon murmured, and Kate turned, momentarily
meeting his eyes, sharing a second of understanding. She swallowed and turned
back to Eli.

“Slept,” he guffawed. “Exactly. The thing is, I didn’t
do
anything. Nothing! They’re
just always there fawning and hanging all over me. What am I gonna do, push
them away? I can’t say I don’t like the attention. But
that
, well… ” He floundered, “ …
you, you saw it before I did. You know I was asleep. I didn’t even know they
were there.”

“Do I look like a fool?” D’arcee’s cupie-doll lips curled
in contempt.

Kate gently raised a hand to restrain D'arcy. “Can I ask
for a few more details, please Eli? Since I didn’t see anything, I’m having
trouble following the story.”

Simon looked up from his file notes and gently touched
her sleeve, sending a shiver of awareness through her. “Perhaps I can explain,
Kate. Eli refers to the time in late July when D'arcy returned home one night
to find Eli asleep in their bed with two… er… scantily clad young ladies.
Apparently there were a few people over, and he had had a few too many drinks
that evening and passed out. He says the… ladies… must have joined him after he
was unconscious, that nothing untoward happened. You can see that it was a
somewhat compromising situation in which to be discovered.” Simon’s expression
was determinedly stoic. He shifted in his seat, and his knee brushed against
hers under the table, making her flinch. Kate blinked, uncomfortably aware of a
spark of laughter in his eyes, meant only for her.

“Compromising indeed,” offered Sharon, one pale eyebrow
raised. D'arcy steamed like a kettle about to boil over, the colour on her
cheeks high, her eyes bright.

“Doesn’t mean I cheated on my wife, though, does it?
Circumstantial evidence.” Eli’s fist clenched around his fountain pen, turning
to Simon. “Am I right? And effing convenient. I know what this is all about,
you can’t fool me.” His voice was clipped, becoming more agitated. “All this
bitching is just to shift attention away from the real issues.” He pointed a
finger at D'arcy. “She resents my success. It was all right when I was helpless
and dependent… made her feel superior. Now I’m successful, she’s not interested
anymore. She can’t control me anymore. I’m no use to her.”

Kate sat up, alert. Hold on. “No use?”

“Yah. No friggin’ use. You were only interested in
keeping me around while I was a thorn in Daddy’s side. Aaand Mummy’s. I still
don’t know who hates me more. Now you’re all looking for a convenient way to
get rid of me.”

 “
I
hate you more! Leave my family out of it. This has nothing to do with them,”
D'arcy burst in. She seemed unable to contain the outrage that had been
building while Eli regaled them with his version of the facts. Kate knew she
had to slow them down, but there were some very interesting insights emerging.

"Hate is a strong word," she murmured.

“This has everything to do with them! Our marriage is one
big ol' political campaign for you, isn’t it? Well, I’m tired of being
manipulated.”

D’arcee’s face became animated, her eyes bulging, her
mouth quivering. Kate held up one finger at her, with a stern, warning glare,
as a last subtle attempt at restraining her, but D'arcy persevered. “What’s
really eating you is the whole idea that you’ve been supported all these years.
Your manly ego’s bruised, that’s what. Now you’ve got a little money you…
you’re… ”

“Like a kid in a candy store?” offered Sharon.

“Okay, okay! Hold it right there, D'arcy,” Kate barked,
shooting an incredulous glance at Sharon. “Calm down, both of you. Nobody.
Speak.” She held out both hands in a braking gesture and paused for effect,
studying the loss of composure and sudden change of direction. She concentrated
on making notes for a few minutes while they sat seething in silence. Was Eli
diverting attention, as he accused D'arcy of doing? Or did he honestly believe
D'arcy was trying to use him to hurt her parents? She glanced at Simon, who sat
stoically silent with steepled fingers, his eyes sharp and wondered if he was
as good a judge of character and motivation as she was, and what he thought of
all this.

“Now, D'arcy, I understand it’s difficult to listen to
Eli’s feelings, but it is still his turn to tell his story, and your turn to
listen
. You promised. Your turn
is coming. Okay?”

D'arcy looked chagrinned. She was breathing quickly
through flared nostrils, but contained any further urge to speak, her eyes
burning a hole into the print on the wall over Kate’s shoulder.

“Eli.” Kate looked steadily at him for a long moment,
until he was able to look calmly back at her. “Perhaps you could address
yourself to me. D'arcy finds it difficult not to respond when you address her
directly. That time will come.”

He nodded.

“I’m getting the picture. Can you go back to where things
started to go wrong? Can you talk about how you were affected by your sudden
success and how D’arcee’s reaction made you feel?”

Eli sat silently thinking for a moment longer, his
fountain pen scratching thoughtful lines on his sketchpad. Then he spoke
calmly, his eyes on D'arcy, though addressing Kate. “Like I said before —
discarded. For years we were fighting for the same things. We had a good
marriage. No—a
great
marriage. It was more than a partnership. We had romance, excitement, dreams to
fight for. When we finally achieved something, I felt… abandoned.” Kate’s gut
clenched in sympathy. She knew what abandonment felt like. He shrugged his
shoulder. “Like she didn’t care anymore about all those things. Suddenly she
sounded like a harping housewife, worried about the furniture, bills and
getting a good night’s sleep. I didn’t recognize her. I felt… alone.”

“That’s good, Eli, thank you,” Kate said. “Very good.”
She waited for more, but he seemed spent, for the moment. She was curious to
know more about his relationship with D’arcee’s parents, but it was a good time
to pass the baton. The mood was right. She would dig that out another time. She
nodded. “D'arcy? Your turn.”

Kate
felt more confident as the hour
progressed. She’d found her stride, and was becoming immersed in her clients’
story. That’s all she needed to do. She was naturally good at this. That’s what
she had to remember as her attention kept getting drawn by the enigmatic man
beside her. It was taking all her willpower to ignore him and the effect he was
having on her. That, she would have to ponder later, when she was alone. She
nodded at D'arcy.

D'arcy spoke, her eyes on her hands. “I’ve always been
Eli’s biggest supporter, not just financially, though there was that, but I
mean, his admirer, too. I believed in him, in his work. I knew one day the rest
of the world would discover what I already knew… ” D'arcy paused, drawing a
deep breath, and shot a glance at Eli. Her face creased into a sad little frown
as she did so, her full lips pursing into a moue.

“I was always there for him. He can be very moody, and if
things aren’t going well with his painting, he gets… well, weird. His behavior
has always been erratic. I accept that.” D'arcy paused, glancing at Eli as
though he might combust if she revealed family secrets. A tight grimace pulled
at his face. “But no matter what was going on, high or low, fast or slow, he
always included me. We were always in it together. Until… now.

“I’m the one that found Geoffrey for him. Actually, it
was Mother, if you must know.” She shot Eli a resentful glare. Kate watched for
Eli’s reaction, which was a sour, brooding look. “She referred him to us. What
a change! He loved and understood Eli’s art. He really took Eli’s career
seriously. And then, overnight, it was like I didn’t exist anymore. Suddenly he
didn’t need me and he didn’t have the time of day for me, either.” D'arcy shook
her head emphatically.

“It felt like…” Kate prompted.

“When you had all those parties… it felt like my needs
weren’t being considered. Our home was suddenly a flop house for all kinds of
strangers.”

“Hah,” grunted Eli, lifting his chin, sneering. “You
liked artists well enough before, when you could be the great
patrona
.” Kate studied Eli
carefully. A little chip on his shoulder.

“Eli. Please. You’ll have another chance.” Kate reminded
him, gently but firmly. With one eye she noticed that Simon had turned in his
chair, studying her over his fingertips, eyes narrow. Her heart jumped.

Eli gave himself a shake and turned his whole body away
from D'arcy, tossing his hair back. He picked up his fountain pen and sketched
on the notepad in front of him, as though he were alone. Kate watched Eli’s
long graceful fingers work with assurance. In just a few seconds, his finesse
with a pen became evident. Against her better judgment, she glanced at Simon's
hands, reminding herself of his long, elegant, sensitive fingers, and what they
were capable of. She tore her eyes away.

Kate jotted notes, listening, waiting.

“He thinks
he
feels discarded.” D’arcy’s lip quivered, but she got herself under control and
stared intently at her hands. “I felt… I felt as though he couldn’t care less
about me anymore. I had plenty of time to sit at home alone and think about it,
too. He was always out, or traveling. He had new friends. It’s like he’s drunk
on his success. In love with it, you know? You’d think all those years of hard
work and patience and frustration never happened.”

D’arcy’s eyes glazed, unfocussed. Kate waited, not
speaking, just watching D'arcy, giving her time.

“Eli was suddenly a big shot. That’s what I resented. It
was crass. It seemed false, to me. I didn’t know him anymore.” D'arcy seemed to
cringe, remembering. “Suddenly he was this huge spender, buying things, giving
gifts, and throwing money around.

“One day, he came home with a ridiculous, extravagant
yellow sports car. What was that?” D'arcy said incredulously, her hands spread
wide. “That’s not even you!” She enumerated his purchases one by one on her
precisely manicured fingers. “New clothes. Electronics. Jewelry. Fancy
restaurants. I mean, what is he trying to prove? We’ve always had enough, but
we’ve lived within our means.”

“
Ad
infinitum
-- I have a spread sheet showing spending for the year to
date. It’s very enlightening– ” offered Sharon, holding out a sheet of lined
paper. D'arcy ignored her, as did everyone else except Eli, who cast a hostile
glower her way, sneering. “–if you’re interested.”

Kate squinted at her. “Thank you. Sharon.” Simon rubbed
his hands over his face, and Kate was shocked to see the corner of his mouth
turned up in a sly grin. For a moment, she lost the thread of D’arcy’s
narrative, she was so distracted by Simon’s suppressed mirth.

“…eating into our savings. My trust income is more or
less fixed, you know. It’s not a bottomless pit. I was concerned. I
am
concerned. I didn’t know if
or when it would stop.” D'arcy shook her head. “I can’t live like that.”

Kate leaned in, concentrating hard on her clients’ words,
willing her nerve endings to ignore the man beside her, whose intellect and
warmth intimidated and intrigued her by turns.

Eli’s mouth twisted. “You could have said something. How
do I know you’re getting so uptight about a few indulgences?”

“I did say something. You seem to think
that
was the problem.” D'arcy
retorted.

“I meant
talk
,
not nag until I can’t stand it anymore. And then call your mother and complain
about me. I feel hen-pecked.”

“How can I talk to you, Eli, when you never listen, you
never sit still? You’re never home.”

Eli’s hand flew up to the back of his neck, rubbing, then
he patted his pockets, fingering the outline of his cigarette pack. “That’s a
load of crap. The harping came first. You drove me out.”

“Okay, let’s–“ Kate tried, but they rode over her.

“You’re just a little boy, Eli. It’s not harping, it’s
communicating. That’s what married people do.”

“I said I would change…

As the bickering continued, Kate felt Simon tense beside
her.

“I tried to come home, D'arcy. But I just couldn’t… I
couldn’t
be
there
anymore.”

“Not with me, anyway,” D'arcy shot back, dripping
sarcasm, her arched eyebrows elevated.

Eli shot to his feet, disgusted, turning away from the
table. “Not fair. I told you what happened. Why don't you trust me?”

“What you
think
happened,” she spat.

“It’s the truth.” Eli’s face was flushed with colour, and
his dark eyes glinted.

“Okay. That’s enough for now.” Kate cut in. “I think,
D'arcy, we’ve gone off on a tangent here. But that’s okay. You’ve begun an
exchange. That’s very good. You’re really talking, and that’s wonderful.” She
stood up, so Eli didn’t seem so conspicuous in the midst of his outburst.
“We’ve been at this quite a while. Let’s take a breather. I took the liberty of
ordering beverages and snacks this morning, so we can resume our work sooner.”

Kate had listened to the spontaneous exchange without
interrupting, though she knew D'arcy had more to say. They were listening to
each other, though not carefully enough. She believed they were beginning to
hear some of what the other had to say through a mountain of mistrust and
resentment. It was a start.

But, they were both heating up; the exchange was taking
on the character of a domestic quarrel. They needed some guidance, and she
needed a more active role to keep her thoughts from dwelling on Simon’s
distracting presence.

Kate tried to ignore Simon’s eyes on her as she left the
room, returning a moment later with Siobhan on her heels, pushing the tea
trolley. Siobhan parked it by the window, smiling shyly at Simon and colouring
prettily. Kate thanked her and she quietly left. Even though he was nearly
twice her age, Siobhan obviously found him attractive—Kate stole a
surreptitious peek—he really did look handsome today. He’d been a lovely, lanky
teenager, but now he was a large, graceful and powerful man, like a tawny
mountain lion. She sighed. Kate remembered feeling weak-kneed over him, and
congratulated herself that she had made it halfway through the session this
morning without letting his presence rattle her concentration—much. She really
was in control of herself, after all. It was deeply gratifying, and she
intended to keep it that way. She stood taller and pushed her shoulders back,
filling her lungs with a deep
Pranayama
breath, only to shrink back when her movement drew Simon’s gaze, scanning up
and down her torso, bringing a self-conscious hand up to tuck back her hair.
Blast!

Everyone seemed more than a little relieved to have an
excuse to break, and stood up and stretched, no one making eye contact.

“I’ve ordered good strong coffee, and also a selection of
teas. I hope you find what you like,” she said to no one in particular. She
hung back as Eli and Sharon dived at the coffee pot first, pouring themselves
cupfuls with obvious relish. Eli helped himself to the muffins, Danishes and
scones. D'arcy waited until they were seated, then moved in nonchalantly and
flipped through the tea bags, finally selecting, Kate was interested to note, a
fruity herbal one. No tobacco, no caffeine. It seemed to go against character.
Finally Simon looked at her, inclined his head and gestured for her to help
herself.

“Go ahead,” she said stiffly, taking a jerky step closer.
What was wrong with her? Every cell in her body was drawn to him, like some
weird petrie dish experiment, scattered and agitated.

He, too, looked through the tea bags, and selected a
green tea. “I hope it’s up to your standards,” she said, feeling strangely shy
and awkward, tracing the impossible pattern on his tie with her eyes. Her voice
sounded tight and shrill to her ears.

A smile tugged at the corners of Simon’s lips. “I’m
actually quite easy to please. And I don’t always drink green tea. It’s a habit
that comes from eating Asian food so often,” he replied, his voice hushed.

She chose Earl Grey and stood there, steeping the bag,
absorbing the heady aroma of bergamot. Her feet felt cemented to the carpet.
She glanced over her shoulder. Eli was staring out the window, drinking in
solitude, already tapping an unlit cigarette in anticipation of stepping
outdoors. Sharon sat with D'arcy, their heads close together, speaking softly.
D'arcy wolfed her muffin like she hadn’t eaten in a week.

“Really? What’s your favorite?” she asked, meeting his
eye briefly, though why she was engaging in small talk with Simon Sharpe she
couldn’t fathom. About food, no less.

“Hmm. That’s a tough question. I like so many,” replied
Simon after a few moments consideration. “I’d have to say Japanese. And Thai,
definitely Thai. But I like them all. Malaysian, Indonesian, Korean, Schezuan…
” He tapered off.

“Do you count Indian food as Asian?” she asked, pondering
this passion of his.

“Oh, sort of. Though it’s a category unto itself,” he
said.

She laughed softly, agreeing. “It’s one of my favourites.
I like to cook with all those aromatic spices.”

“I’m surprised you find the time,” he deadpanned,
eyebrows raised. Kate recoiled under his implied criticism. What did she do to
deserve that? Her mind shied from the obvious answer. “I prefer to cook Thai.
But then, there are so many good restaurants in Vancouver, why kill yourself
trying to learn how to make them all?”

He cooked? He cooked Thai food? He smiled, and she felt
her face flush warmly, and darted a glance around the room, looking for an
escape, or at least a witty comeback. Eli had left the room, and D'arcy moved
in their direction.

“I just have to have another muffin,” she said. She
blushed suddenly bright pink and turned to the trolley. Kate moved aside for
her.

“How can you resist when Kate’s tempted us with so many
delights,” Simon turned his relaxed charm on D'arcy at the trolley, perusing
the platter of baking, selecting a Danish glistening with sugar glaze, and
sharing a conspiratorial wink with D'arcy as he took a gigantic bite, glazing
his lips with sugar.

Simon caught Kate’s eye, his eyes twinkling with humor as
he licked his lips and chewed. She smiled and shrugged at his easy manners,
though she felt a ripple of self-conscious anxiety flutter through her
intestines. How odd — that they’d come to this already, she thought — this
familiar non-verbal communication, as though they’d known each other for years.
Oh! Except they had! She felt a tight clenching in her gut. Her hands jerked
suddenly, slopping scalding tea over her wrist. “Oh, darn.” She dropped her
eyes to his tie, then tore them away, reaching for the serviette he held out,
and mopping the spill from her stinging skin. The warmth she felt in her face
crept through her body like a fever. She couldn’t talk to him; and pretending
she was cool stirred up too many emotions.

She was grateful for the diversion. “I… uh… excuse me.”
Kate tried to smile and slunk away.
What
a buffoon I am! I’ve regressed to an awkward teenager. How humiliating.
She exchanged a few words with Sharon, then sat down and made notes until Eli
returned in a cloud of cigarette fumes carried on cool air. When they'd all sat
down, and she felt calmer, she began again.

“I really want you two to carry on with your exchange.
But before you do, I think it would be helpful for everyone if I summarized a
few of my observations.” She shot a fleeting glance at Simon as her eyes
scanned the room, an unfamiliar unease gnawing at her confidence. “Sound good?”
Eli smiled halfheartedly. D'arcy polished off her second muffin and dabbed
crumbs from her cupie-doll mouth.

Kate paused. The more concise she could be with her
summary, the more effective it would be, but her thoughts were scattered and
undisciplined. The discussion would congeal around whichever key points she
decided to make. She could pave the way for accord. She chose her words
carefully as she read from her notes.