Authors: Sky Winters
Lucy hadn’t noticed the sounds outside had stopped and she sat quickly upright as there came a slight tapping at her door.
“Miss Evans, are you awake, Miss Evans?”
Wiping her tears on the sleeve of her night gown she straightened her hair with her fingers before calling back out to him.
“Yes, I’m awake”.
He didn’t enter the room but called back to her through the door.
“I’ll make you some coffee and eggs if you would like?”
He was trying so hard to please his young wife to be and she could sense the eagerness in his voice. She also realised how hungry she was, after not eating much of her supper.
“That would be just fine, thank you”.
She would tell him over breakfast that she couldn’t stay, make some excuse that she had made a mistake. That she was a city girl and this place was too isolated, too much out in the sticks to settle. She would thank him for his kindness but tell him that she would have to return by the next available coach.
“I’ll leave some hot water outside of the door for you,” he called before going away to prepare her meal.
Whilst dressing she rehearsed the words she would say to him, over and over in her head. She must make it quite clear that it wasn’t his fault, that he had done nothing wrong to offend her; in fact just the opposite. One thing was clear; she must not get over emotional but remain calm and composed until she was away from this place, only then would she let the tears fall.
The breakfast was prepared and a bunch of wild flowers had been placed in a little jam jar on the table. Lucy sighed; he was such a perfect gentleman. Gus stood with his back to her, preparing the eggs on a small stove and turned and smiled at her as she entered.
It was the first time that Lucy had really seen his face in daylight. He looked older than he had appeared yesterday; the candle light had softened his features somewhat. Yet the face was handsome if not a little careworn. It was a face that she might have loved but she did not dwell on the fact. It was no use getting sentimental.
Bringing over the coffee and eggs, Gus sat down opposite her. She looked even younger in the light of day, yet there were heavy shadows under her eyes and a look about them that seemed older than her years. He put it down to tiredness.
“Did you sleep well?”
Lucy nodded between mouthfuls of the egg; she was so hungry. The coffee was strong and black and gave her an instant boost.
Gus carried on chatting away to her as she ate.
“I thought I could take you into town today. I noticed that your bag was quite small and I guessed that you could do with a few things. I can introduce you to my neighbours too. Then there will be church in the morning and you will soon know everyone. I know it must seem a little strange to you at the moment but you’ll soon settle in just fine.”
As he spoke she could feel the anxiety rise inside her. He was talking about a life that she could never be part of. She had to stop him talking or she feared that her heart would break in two; she opened her mouth to speak.
“Gus, I ...”
“Did you enjoy the eggs?”
“Yes they were delicious thank you, look Gus..”
“I keep my own hens you know; they’re all good little layers.”
Lucy couldn’t help but smile back, yet she was determined to have her say.
“Gus, about last night...”
“How was the coffee, not too strong I hope?”
Swallowing back her words Lucy smiled once more, he so wanted to please her that it was hard to find the right words.
“It was fine Gus, just the way I like it. Now there is something that I need to say...”
Gus stood up sharply as if just remembering something.
“Excuse me interrupting Miss Evans, but there is something that I almost forgot, I have a surprise for you,” and before she had the chance to utter a further word he had rushed off though the front door.
Lucy sighed; this was going to be harder than she thought.
Soon Gus was back and pushing the door slightly ajar he called out to her.
“Close your eyes.”
She did as she was told and heard him walking back into the room and something scraping against the wooden floor.
“Now you can open them”
As she opened her eyes Lucy looked up to see Gus standing beside a fine looking rocking chair.
“I hope you like it; I made it myself, for you?”
Rising slowly she walked over to where he was standing. Nobody had ever given her a present before and never one so fine. The chair had been beautifully made and her initials M.J. had been carved upon the back. She brushed her hand against the wood; it was smooth and warm to her touch. Opening her mouth she tried to speak, but all the rehearsed words and good intentions had left her. Clenching her hands together she dug her nails deep into her palms in an attempt to hold back the emotion, but it did not work and the tears came in floods; much to the alarm of Gus.
“What’s the matter Miss Evans, do you not like it?” his voice was full of concern and his brow furrowed.
“It’s beautiful Gus. I think it’s the nicest thing that I have ever seen. I don’t deserve such a present.”
“There, there,” his hand moved in a fatherly fashion over her shoulder and she trembled slightly under his strong arm.
“Now Miss Evans, why don’t you try it out, see if it is comfortable for you.”
Obediently, like a child she sat down in the chair and rocked slightly to and fro as Gus’s eyes lit with pleasure.
“How does it feel?”
“It feels just great Gus, it’s a mighty fine chair.”
A few moments elapsed in a comfortable silence, whilst Gus gently rocked the chair and Lucy closed her eyes. Now the tension had been released she felt as though she could sleep for a week.
It was Gus who broke the silence, a worried tone in his voice.
“Miss Evans, I almost forgot in the rush to show you the chair, where are my manners? You said there was something that you wanted to tell me. Now what was it you wanted to say?”
Lucy opened her eyes onto the strong and earnest face of the kindest man she had ever met. His eyes were clear and honest.
“Call me Millie Jane Gus, please call me Millie Jane.”
Lucy Evans was left with no choice. She would break the poor man’s heart by leaving as much as it would hurt him to know her past. The likelihood of him hearing about the old days were slim; she was far from home and she could keep her secret deep inside her own heart; only she and God would know. Besides she reasoned, she was a different woman now. She had repented before God and if God forgave her then that should be enough. She would care for Gus and look after him for the rest of her days and would make herself worthy of him.
Gus was true to his word and that afternoon they travelled into the small town. He was as generous with his money as he was with his heart and soon he had bought her several new dresses, hats, and a new pair of shoes as well as all of the intimate items that a woman needs. She had never owned so many beautiful items in her lifetime.
They also bought a number of items from the general store; a fancy clock for the wall and some pretty material that she would make into curtains and cushions to brighten up the little cabin.
They met many of his friends and neighbours along the way and they all seemed happy to meet her and greeted her warmly. She was glad that she had decided to stay, and prayed to God that night for her and Gus; that everything would turn out well in the end.
The next day they attended the small white painted Methodist church located a little further down the valley. Lucy did not mind which denomination or church she attended; she believed that God was the same wherever she went.
Once again the people were friendly towards her. The men and women shaking her hand warmly; Gus was obviously well liked and respected and his friends and neighbours were happy that he would no longer be living alone.
Lucy settled back in her seat, proud to be next to Gus and looked forward to the sermon. The Minister was a red faced, small man and looked quite comical as he took his place at the pulpit, peering over his glasses at the congregation like a stern schoolmaster.
His sermon was full of fury; he was one of the fire and brimstone preachers that held drinking and gambling as the very route to hell. He read from the Old Testament Galatians 5:16
"But l say, Walk by the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other; that ye may not do the things that ye would, but if ye are led by the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousies, wraths, factions, divisions, parties, envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forwarn you that they who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God."
Lucy blanched quite visibly as he described the shame of the local town, the abandonment of the ways of God and the abomination of the sins of the flesh. It was if he was aiming the sermon at her; his sharp and beady eyes looking directly into her soul. Cowering back into her seat, Lucy hunched her shoulders and cast her eyes down into her lap. Thinking that she might faint, she gripped tightly onto Gus’s arm, who smiled reassuringly at her, taking it as a sign of her affection.
The sermon seemed to last forever and when the Minister finally stepped down and they stood to sing the final hymn, she felt literally drained and her knees swayed beneath her as she stood. She mouthed the words as strongly as she could, trying hard to believe in their message
‘Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
let me hide myself in thee;
let the water and the blood,
from thy wounded side which flowed,
be of sin the double cure;
save from wrath and make me pure.
After the sermon they mingled with the congregation, but Lucy did not feel relaxed. Believing everyone could see through her facade and into her dark and dismal past, she made her excuses and stepped outside into the fresh air.
It was a cold day but the sun was bright and the sky clear. A nearby stream sparkled in the brightness of the day and the whole valley looked beautiful. Breathing deeply she relaxed herself; she was just being silly – the sermon had struck a chord with her but no-one had guessed her secret, how could they? She was the one feeling uncomfortable and drawing attention to herself by leaving. Taking one more deep breath she stepped back inside.
Gus had been looking for her and waved and smiled as she re-entered the chapel. He wanted to introduce her to some of his neighbours and they were all charming to her. She had no need to worry.
The weeks passed and they settled into a routine. He would go out to work and she would tidy up the cabin and prepare the dinner. Gus bought her a sewing machine
and she kept herself busy making up the curtains and the cushions and mending his clothing. He had also dug out a small patch of land and she had started to plant
vegetables and flowers. The cabin was slowly becoming more and more like a home.
The evenings were best when they had eaten their supper and they both sat by the fire; she darning his socks or sewing a patch on his working trousers and he whittling her some small trinket from a piece of ash, or reading aloud to her from the bible. She had never been happier.
It was on one of these evenings that Gus approached the subject of their marriage. They had still yet to share any intimacies, even a kiss, and the subject had been on his mind for a long time.
“I guess you are feeling settled here Millie Jane?”
She smiled in acknowledgment.
“Happy?”
“Very.”
She smiled, understanding where the conversation was leading but letting him go on.
“I guess that you don’t find me too unpleasant on the eye?”
She almost laughed at his seriousness but held a straight face.
“I find you not unpleasant”. She was teasing with him.
“I suppose what I’m saying, what I mean is ..?”
“Yes?” she put down the sewing she was working on and looked at him directly.
“I mean we can’t go on living like this, as we are. It’s not right”.
She remained silent, urging him onwards.
“Well, what I’m trying to say is that we should start to think about marriage.” He sat back in his seat as if the weight of the world were now off his shoulders; he had said his piece.
Lucy did not answer at first; she did not want to seem over eager.
“That would suit me just fine Gus, just fine.”
Picking up his knife he began to carve a piece of wood with great gusto; a huge smile now lighting up his face.
The date of the marriage was set for three weeks’ time to allow time for the preparations to be made. Lucy had told Gus that she was an orphan, which was the plain truth and she had no other kith nor kin to invite. She didn’t know if her aunt was still alive but she would have been the last person to invite after abandoning her such a young age.