Ruining Me (17 page)

Within minutes my phone vibrates
back.

Kane –
damn baby you look fine…..miss
you too

I arrive at school
early that mo
rning.  Walking down the hallway
the
school spirit was thick in the air with the opening football game this Friday night.  Welcome to the South where football Gods reign supreme.  I
still wasn’t sure how I was going to handle JT. 
First thing
,
I
needed to make sure
was
that he hadn’t spoken about the
other morning to anyone.

Walking
down to the cafeteria
,
I
am hoping
I
might catch him eating breakfast.  When I was walking in
,
he just happened to be walking out. 
The bruises on his face were turning a light green and the scratches
I had made
were
scabbed over.  He was sporting two black eyes. 

I touch
his arm and ask, “Hey, can we talk
?
” 
His blue eyes were heavy with sadness
.

He nods
his head and replie
s
, “
Sure
.” 
I follow
him outside the cafeteria building to sit on some lunch benches.

Sitting down he cross
es
his arms and legs.  He wouldn’t look at me an
d just hung his head.  I notice
that ev
eryone that walks
by glance
s
our way
. 
Leaning in I
lo
wer
my voice
.

“
I’m so
rry about the other morning.  I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay.”

He looks up at me and says
, “I would never have hurt you Jay.  You’ve known me almost your whole life.  I just wanted you to sit still long enough to think about us, but all
of
the sudden you went berserk. 
Did you realize what you were saying
,
while you were fighting me Jay?  You kept saying, not again, please not again. 
You scared the shit out of me and then your new boyfriend comes running in thinking I’
m attacking you
and starts whaling on me
.” 

I couldn’t listen to
any more
of this.  “I don’t want to talk about it JT. 
Not e
ver.  I am begging you to never make me.”  He went to touch my arm and at the last second pull
s
his hand back.  I could tell he was terrified to have
any contact with me.  I continue
in a hush
ed
whisper, “You have to move on.  You have to let go of us and what happened.  Just concentrate on getting your football scholarship.” 

He grunt
s
, “Not you too
?
  That’s all I hear from Coach Branch
that I need to leave you alone and concentrate on football.”

I didn’t want to talk about anyone else.  “You have to move on
,”
I plead
with him.

“Like you have moved on Jay?”

“Yes
JT
, like I’m trying to
do
.”  That was about as honest as I could get. 

He
gasp
s
and lowers
his head
closer to me
and sa
ys
, “I need to know what went down that night. 
The truth
,
and
I
then I can
move on.”
  I jerk back ready to tell him the same statement I ha
ve
always said, but he stopped me before I could.  “No more lies, just the truth for once.  If you really want me out of your life just tell me
what happened
.”

I sh
a
k
e
my head back and forth and whisper, “No.”

JT
stood up and then turn
s
back to me.  His body
i
s shaking and the pain in his eyes
i
s
visible
.  He lean
s
in close to
me and through gritted teeth says
, “Someone hurt you and took you away from me.  You weren’t some girl that I didn’t know.  You were my world.  The reason I smiled every morning when I woke up.  I went to bed for the last two years remembering how you felt in my arms and how you
r lips tasted. 
I looked
at you and seen my future.  These last two years have been
h
ell for me.  If you don’t want me back then fine, I guess I’ll have to live with that, but I deserve to know why and who ruined that for me. So unless you can tell me the truth, we have nothing more to say.” 

He turns
around and left me sitting there.  I wasn’t su
re how long I sat
staring at nothing. 
I was jerked out of my thoughts
when I heard a voice behind me.

“Well Miss Stevenson, it was nice meeting your new boyfriend the other night.”  Coach Branch stood looking at me.  He had a football in his hands
,
juggl
ing it back and forth.  He steps
closer to me and continue
s
, “Ho
wever, my wife and I think he might
be
a
litt
le to
o
old for you.  Not to mention he looked like he could be a little rough. 
I
don’t
want you to get hurt.” 

I held my breath hoping he would walk away.  I was always so anxious around him. 
Stepping even closer to me he fumbles the
ball
out of his hands
and
it
hit
s
me square on my chest.  He reache
s
for
it and his hand grazes
my breast.  I ta
k
e
a
swift breath
in
. 

“Goodness, I am so sorry.  The ball
just slipped out of my hands,
”
he
said
looking not one bit apologetic. 

I jump
away
when the warning bell r
ings
for class. 
“James you need to get to class
,
”
a soft feminine voice said to me.  I turned to see M
is
s Kell watching us. 
She almost looks
upset and her eyes volley between Coach Branch and m
e
.

“Yes Ma’am,”
I said and walk away.

“Have a nice day James
,
”
he said to my back
and I
never turned
around. 

I walked straight to my first period class. 
Cal
was waiting for me at the door.

“You are one hard woman to get
in touch with. 
What the hell have you done to
JT
now?
  He just shoved me against the wall when I tried to ask him a question.
”

I walk
pas
t him into class and
say
, “Let it go
Cal
.”  I s
it
down
and
Cal
s
its
down right
beside me.  The bell ri
ng
s
but evidently Mrs. Davis wasn’t ready to start class yet.

“He’s a walking zombie out on the football field.  He’s got to get his head in the game or w
e are going to lose on Friday,” he
said. 

I notice that everyone around i
s exceptionally quiet and paying more than enough attention to
our conversation.   I whisper
back to him, “What do you want me to do
Cal
? 
I
can’t give him what he wants
.  I
’m sorry, but I can’t.
”  Tears burn my eyes and
blur
my vision. 
I c
an’t
allow these emotions
,
because I
am
so afraid if I ever start
crying
,
I w
ill
never stop.

Cal grab
s
my
hand
and
beg
s
, “Tell him that you’ll come and support him this Friday.”

“That’s not what he wants
Cal
.  Plus I have
a
date this Friday,” m
y shaky voice replie
s
.

“I’m not saying as a date, just as a friend. 
Tell him you’ll c
ome and watch him play.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Class finally beg
i
n
s
and we d
on
’t say anything else to each other.  I didn
’t see
JT
the rest of the day, however, I
do
think about what Cal
said.  My mind
i
s numb.
Cal d
oesn’t
know what
JT
wanted
and
I d
o no
t know what to do. 

When I arrive
home,
Kane sen
ds
me a text.

Kane -
Want to come
work out with me tonight
?  Come downtown to the gym at 6:30.

Me – Sure…I’ll see you then.

I
set my phone on the kitchen counter and
walk
out to our pool
.  Sitting down on a lounge chair, the sun gently warms
my face and
I
close my eyes.  Thoughts ru
n
through
my mind.  What am I going to do about
JT
?  How am I supposed to fix him when I c
an’
t even fix m
e.

As I lay there
,
I hear my name being called from the back gate door.  I knew that voice immediately. 
It is t
he same voice that that had shared all of her secrets since we were kids.  I unlock
and open the door to
see
Molly standing there. 
Her fire red hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had on a cute maxi dress.
 
She smiles
at me
.

“So is bitch season officially over?”
  In that moment, I just wanted to wrap my arms
around her
,
and admit
how much I had missed her. 
Struggling with the quiver in my voice I look back at her
. 

“It was a long season.”

“Ready to talk about it?” 
Molly was never one to beat around the bush. 
We walk over to the chairs and she s
its
down next to me.