Ryan's Love (11 page)

The last thought in my mind was what
was I going to do without Ryan in my life?

Chapter 8 (Ryan)

I
can
’
t stomach the thought that my sweet Sunshine would be
with another man. When I walked into the office I was so happy. I
had everything set up so that I could ask her to marry me at lunch.
But when I walked in the office and heard her talking on the phone
about having a secret that she had to tell me and that I would be
mad at her for it; all I could see was red. None of her crying and
pleading would help it go away. I was radiating with anger and
disgust. I was almost stilled when she grabbed ahold of me and said
she loved me. I probably should have listened to her. But I
didn
’
t. I couldn
’
t. I just wrenched
her from me and pushed her back so I could get out of there. I
needed air and a drink. As I was quickly exiting the office and was
turning the corner to leave I saw Sunshine sitting on the ground
crying her heart out. It hurt to see her like that and I wanted to
go to her and comfort her. But I didn
’
t. I knew that if I
did I probably would forgive her just to be close to her again. I
can
’
t do that. At least Rachel didn
’
t cheat on
me.

I damn
near ran out of the office building and made my way to the nearest
bar. I know that its only the afternoon, but in Boston something is
always open whenever someone needed a drink. I put one hundred
dollars up on the bar and told the bartender to keep the Guinness
and shots of jack coming until the money ran out. I needed to get
drunk and fast to get this whole situation off my mind. So I tossed
back every shot he sat in front of me. After the 4th or 5th shot
and two glasses of Guinness, I started to feel the effects. So much
as that I stumbled as I tried to make my way outside to get some
air. Causing the bartender to take my cellphone and call the first
number that he came to in my contacts. As I waited I
couldn
’
t help but wonder why this persons number was still
listed under #1. I thought I had erased it out of my phone. I must
have forgotten to because I was so involved with what was going on
with me and my Sunshine. Huh, my Sunshine; seems like she was
someone else
’
s Sunshine
too.

“
Ryan, what are you doing getting so tossed like this so
early in the day,
”
Rachel said with a satisfied smile on her face as she
wiggled her arm around me and helped me up.

“
Here
’
s his change,
”
the bartender called out to
us.

“
That
’
s ok. Keep it,
”
I slurred and Rachel
helped me out to a waiting cab; getting in behind me and giving
them my address.

“
So
tell me Ryan. Why is it that you had them call
me,
”
she said smoothing her hands down my chest and into my
lap.

Even
though all that craziness happened with Sunshine at the office,
this still felt wrong. As much as I was mad at Sunshine for what
happened, I still couldn
’
t want to be with
anyone else. But when she slipped her hand into my pants and began
to stroke me, I couldn
’
t help but
moan.

“
Damn
girl. What are you doing to me?
”

“
Showing you what you are missing,
”
she grinned and moved
her head into my lap; then began licking my manhood, taking only
the tip of me in her mouth.

I put
my hand on her shoulder to tell her to stop, that we
shouldn
’
t be doing this when the cab
stopped.

“
We
’
re here,
”
I cabbie said.

Rachel jerks her head up, smiling
slyly and hands him a twenty.

“
Keep
the change,
”
she says and reaches over me, opening my door. Then she
taps my thigh to get me to exit the cab. I did, and she
followed.

As we
made our way up to the house I said to her,
“
Look,
I
’
m thankful that you came and picked me up from that
bar back there, but we can
’
t go back to what we
had before.
”

I look
at her thinking she would be mad at what I said, but she
wasn
’
t.

She
just smiled at me and said,
“
I understand. But
I
’
m going to make sure you get in the house safely
before I go.
”

“
Ok.
”

She helps me up the stairs and into
the unlocked door, then back to my room. After she helps me down
onto the bed, she takes off my shoes.

Wanting to stop her before it gets too far, I say,
“
Thanks for
helping me. Can you lock the door when you leave the
room.
”

She
stands up and gives me an odd look, then goes into the bathroom.
She
’
s in there for a few seconds, but comes out with a
small glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol.

“
Here
these are for you,
”
she says sitting it down on the table beside me then
leaves out of the room.

I
didn
’
t hear her lock the door. But I
didn
’
t care. I was just happy that she
left.

I pop open the bottle of Tylenol,
take two, toss them back; then I gulp down the glass of water and
fall back onto the bed, wondering why my life had went from
fantastic to complete terror in such a short amount of time. I
drifted of as I thought.

I was
woken up, I don
’
t know how long
later, by soft lips on my neck and a mountain of hair in my
face.

Sunshine.

As mad as I was at her I needed
this. I need to feel her next to me.

Without opening my eyes I groan,
“
I
’
ve missed you baby.
I
’
m sorry about earlier today. I need you so
bad.
”

I hear her moan and I proceed to run
my hands down her sides to her waist. I lifted her and positioned
her above me, then I let her body sink down on my hardness. As my
hard dick slides into her wetness, instantly something felt wrong.
My eyes pop open and Rachel is looking down at me
smiling.

“
Hi,
”
she grins, her hands panted flat on my chest as she is
grinding up and down on me.

I felt so disgusted with
myself.

Knock Knock Knock

“
Ryan
are you in there? I need to talk to you,
”
I hear my Mom say thru
the door, as she rattled the door nob trying to open it up. Luckily
it was locked.

I
quickly grab Rachel and move her from on top of me.
“
Hold on
Mom.
”

I
whisper to Rachel,
“
What the fuck are you doing in my room. I told you
that I didn
’
t want to be with
you.
”

“
But
you just said you were sorry about earlier,
”
she
says.

“
I
thought you were my Sunshine.
”

“
Sunshine,
”
she said with a questioning look on her
face.

“
I
thought you were Ryan. She
’
s the only woman I
want. Now get the fuck out and don
’
t come
back,
”
I
yell.

I
probably shouldn
’
t have reacted like
that, but I
’
m pissed that she
would stoop so low as to sneak in my room while I was asleep and
try to have sex with me. Well truthfully we were technically having
sex; I just didn
’
t know it was
her.

We both quickly threw our clothes on
and she stormed out of the room. Running right into my stunned
mother. Whom I completely forgot was outside my room waiting for me
to come out.

“
Ryan, what is going on,
”
my mom says as she eyes up a fleeing
Rachel, then turns and sets her evil eye onto me.

I was stunned silent as she came
over to my side. She looked so mad and hurt. Even though my mom is
a little bitty thing compared to me, I would never cross her.
Especially when she was upset about something. She could peel the
paint off of a car with her wrath.

“
I
came in here to see what went on with you and Sunshine earlier,
when I find you having sex with that whore,
”
my mom yells pointing
to where Rachel just ran off to.

“
Mom,
please its not what you think. I thought she was
Sunshine.
”

My mom
gasps and says,
“
You stupid, stupid boy. There is no way that you could
have thought that woman was Sunshine. They are nothing
alike.
”

“
But
I got drunk after I left the office and,
”
I said but my mom
stopped me before I had a chance to finish.

“
I
don
’
t want any of your excuses. I
’
m so
disappointed in you. I thought today was going to be so different
for you. Sunshine was so happy to see you today. What could have
possibly went wrong,
”
my Mom says sinking down into my
bed.

I got
a little upset at that. I knew what went wrong. Maybe when I tell
her she won
’
t still be so upset
with me.

“
Yeah, well when I came into the office to see her, I heard
her talking on the phone. She was saying how she was scared to tell
me a secret and all. Then whoever she was talking to she told them
she loved them when she hung up,
”
I say then sat back on my heels
waiting for her to realize that I wasn
’
t the one in the
wrong.

I
didn
’
t get the reaction I thought I was going to get,
because she started laughing then she stopped suddenly, looking up
at me.

“
You
are so stupid. She was talking to me,
”
my mom
shouted.

“
Well
what was the secret she was talking about,
”
I ask not wanting to
admit defeat just yet?

An odd
look passed over my Mom
’
s face before she
answered,
“
Look that
’
s not my place to
say. But what I will say is you don
’
t deserve her. When
she didn
’
t
call me back after she
was supposed to have lunch with you, I called the office and she
didn
’
t answer. I was so worried for her, that I went back
to the office and found her sprawled out on the bathroom
floor.
”

My
heart started damn near beating out of my chest at the thought of
My Sunshine being hurt. I don
’
t know what
I
’
d do if she was hurt; and from something I said or did
too.

“
Mom,
please tell me she
’
s ok.
”

“
Well
she
’
s out in the living room laying on the couch. I got
some fluids into her, and she seems a little better. But
I
’
m telling you now that once she finds out what you
did, she will be devastated; and I don
’
t know if I really
want her to forgive you,
”
my Mom says shaking her head and
walking out of the room.

Shit.

What
am I going to do? How am I going to look into her sweet eyes and
tell her what happened? And what is the secret that she needs to
tell me? It can
’
t be anything bad if
the person she was talking to on the phone was my
mom.