Saving Alexander (25 page)

Dan pretended to zip his lips. “They’re sealed. It’s between you and me. Thanks for telling me. I knew something was up but I never imagined anything like this.” He looked at his friend wryly.” You’re more worried about what this getting out will do to Alex than you, aren’t you? Typical Sage. You’re a good bloke, my friend.”

Sage shook his head grimly. “Not so good, Dan. I have this tendency to push him and I’m scared shitless I’ll say something that makes him go off on a tangent again. We’ve already had one episode like that I can’t face being the cause of another.” He shrugged helplessly. “I sometimes can’t help myself.”

Dan sat back. “Sage, that’s understandable. You’re doing something incredibly difficult. All you can do is keep supporting him and hope things work out the way you both want.”

Sage went to bed later that night feeling a sense of relief that someone else knew what he was going through. Alex’s last session with Eric was over three weeks ago, and with the amount of lovemaking they were doing, Sage hoped he didn’t need to see him again soon. Alex and he had talked about it only last night and he hadn’t said he was seeing him again. Perhaps it was all finally over and it could just be the two of them. He smiled at the thought.

Chapter 23

The next few days passed with no further incidents and Alex found himself relaxing as each day went by. Alex had a session with Eric tonight. Eric had been particularly cruel lately and Alex knew now that Melanie had been right in thinking Eric felt Alex belonged to him. It was what had made him decide that after this session he was going to give it up for good and go cold turkey. His heart had pounded making the decision and he still felt nervous at the momentous decision he was making. But if it came to Sage or Eric, he knew which one he was choosing. He was also ready to broach the subject of Sage moving in with him.

Melanie had encouraged his decision about Eric too, saying she thought he was ready. Nothing could curb Alex’s happiness in knowing that he’d give up Eric and his special brand of cruelty altogether. Alex hugged that fact to him like a blanket all day.

Unfortunately the day had been dogged with disaster from the moment filming had begun. Cameras had not worked properly; technicians had damaged some film, making Sage and Dianne have to redo a scene; and a special effects gig had gone wrong, leaving Sage with a large bruise on his back and a very bad temper. Alex had never seen him so tightly wound. He had a feeling Sage was still struggling with Alex’s relationship with Eric and he was looking forward to telling him that it would be soon be over.

Alex looked up and smiled as Sage walked into his office. His lover’s body language indicated he was still stressed and Alex’s heart sunk.

“What are you up to tonight?” Sage asked quietly. “I’ve got a yen for Thai food and there’s a really great place in Westminster that I know. It’s been a bitch of a day and I just want to unwind.”

Alex took a deep breath. “I’m not available tonight. I have an appointment.”

Sage’s face darkened as he looked at Alex out of eyes that were suddenly flinty. Alex saw the darkness creep up like a storm passing over a wintry sea, something he’d seen often lately.

“Are you going to see Eric?” Sage’s tone was icy.

Alex looked at him, confused. “I thought you didn’t want to know when I was going or I would have told you.”

“I thought you were cutting down on your sessions?” Sage walked over to the window and looked out, his back rigid.

Alex sighed. “Sage, let’s not rehash this again. You know I only see him about once a month now. That’s a hell of an achievement.” He didn’t want to tell Sage he was leaving Eric until he was sure he could make it without him.

“I thought we were doing so well that you might not want to see him anymore. I thought perhaps
I
was starting to be enough.” Sage turned and Alex quailed at the sudden expression of cold anger in his eyes.

“Sage, that is nearly the case.” Alex thought he’d better bring his good news forward and try to appease his lover. “I know I’m close.” He grinned but Sage’s expression was implacable. Alex stood up and walked over to Sage, laying a hand on his arm. “You know I’ve stopped the biting, the hard whipping, and you know we’re not having sex anymore—”

“Yes, that was certainly a step in the right direction, wasn’t it?” Sage’s words were savage. “Not having another man fucking you, coming inside you, that was a real coup for me, wasn’t it?”

Alex dropped his hand, feeling sick. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry I’m not meeting your expectations. I’m trying, believe me.” His heart raced and he wished he could tell Sage he would stop right now. But the panic in his chest at considering that told him he couldn’t. He needed to stick to his plan and psych himself to it. It was the only way he could let Eric go.

Sage nodded but Alex could see he wasn’t placated at all. “Fine. Go have your session. Perhaps you should bring some of the equipment home and I’ll take Eric’s place and treat you like he does. Perhaps that way you’ll get your rocks off—”

His words were brought to an abrupt end as Alex moved forward swiftly, punching Sage firmly in the mouth. Sage staggered back, against the wall, blood dribbling from his lip, which was already starting to swell. They stared at each other. Alex sensed the suppressed violence in his lover. He already regretted his hasty action but he was truly angry.

“Don’t you ever fucking say that again. You mean too much to me for that to happen. I understand you’re hurt and that perhaps things aren’t moving fast enough for you. I am trying, I promise you. But these are my demons and I will never let you get tainted in that way by them.”

Sage’s jaw worked as he listened to the words and Alex felt a surge of guilt at what he’d just done. “I think it’s a bit late to remain untainted, Alex.” Sage finally said between gritted teeth. “I’ve been touched by it already. I’m sorry for that last comment. It was vicious and unfair. You bring out the worst as well as the best in me, lately more than ever.” He moved over to the door. “Go see Eric. Do whatever you need to do. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He disappeared into the corridor. Alex sat down in his chair, his legs giving way. He knew Sage was hurt and frustrated. Christ, Alex had thought he was doing so well to get this far but perhaps he wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe he’d never try hard enough.

* * *

Eric Rossi marched around the basement at Study in Scarlet in a real red-haired temper. His frustration with the last sessions he and Alex had experienced were really starting to tick him off. What the hell had happened to the man? It was that prick Christopher Sage he was seeing, he knew it. He’d seen the newspapers, the fact they were almost living together. Eric had even gone by the film studio a couple of times to see if he could see them together. The man had ruined his charge. Taken all that passion and sexiness Alex had inside him and turned him into a vanilla-flavoured lollipop. He turned as Alex came in the door and stood quietly. He had no shirt on, just his chinos which were already unzipped. He looked pale and ill. Even Alex’s erection seemed to be flagging lately and Eric wasn’t prepared for that eventuality. He took it as a personal insult. The man needed Eric, needed his special set of services and most of all needed his rough sex. That would make the man’s cock stand up like a soldier again.

Well, we’ll soon get that remedied. Wait until you see what I’ve got for you tonight. That’ll put a smile on your face, just like it used to. All you need is someone to take charge then you’ll realise just how much you missed it.

He walked over to Alex, feeling calmer now, his hands reaching out to slowly caress Alex’s nipples and he leaned forward to take them in his mouth as he sucked them. Alex’s eyes closed and he took a deep breath. Eric pulled Alex toward him, grabbing the band of his trousers and rolling them roughly down over the man’s lean hips.

When Alex was naked, Eric pulled him roughly toward the cross, fastening Alex onto it, making sure the bonds were tighter than usual.

Alex was splayed out like a starfish, unable to move.

Eric licked his lips. “You seem sad, Alex. What’s wrong? Is your boyfriend not giving you what you need? What you want?”

Alex’s eyes flashed. “Leave him out of this. I don’t want him mentioned here.”

Eric nodded. “Fine, Alex.” His voice was silky and dangerous. The sharp stirrings of anger in his belly made him focused. “I must confess I’m a little disappointed with the way our last sessions have been. I thought we had a good thing going here. Seeing as how I’ve been deprived of nearly
all
of my little pleasures, I have a slight change of my own to the schedule tonight.”

He reached into his back jeans pocket, pulling out a red scarf, waving it in front of Alex’s face. His eyes widened as Eric fastened it around his mouth and he shook his head frantically. Eric smiled. Alex had never liked being gagged.

Eric waggled his finger in front of Alex’s face. “You took something away, I’m adding something. I guarantee you’ll like it when you see what I’ve got planned.”

He slipped out of his jeans, his cock at full mast. He gazed down at it in pride. “I’m feeling particularly virile tonight. You’re a lucky man.” He walked over to the corner of the room, picking up his rawhide whip. Alex shook his head, eyes wild. Eric smiled as he cracked it on the floor.

“Are you ready, Alex? Let’s do it just like we used to do, just like you used to like it. I can promise you that you’ll enjoy it. Remember how much fun it used to be and how much you enjoyed it. Then you’ll realise what you’ve been missing. I’ll tell Madame Duchaine you changed your mind.” His voice grew hard. “If you decide to tell her anything else, I’ll make sure that your actor fuck buddy gets his just deserts. One of my very large gay friends will politely invite him to a session just like this one. He might enjoy that, being in show business. My friends can be very inventive and your tame actor might like the sensation of being filled to capacity by an audience. A little like the seats in a theatre.” He chuckled at his own wit then laughed nastily, hitting Alex with the whip across his stomach, slashing and wielding the whip like the professional he was.

Alex closed his eyes as Eric whipped, bit and slapped him exactly as he’d promised. He whispered his safe word through the gag half a dozen times but Eric ignored it. Finally the pain drove Alex further inside his head, his soul becoming darker and blacker with each abusive move Eric made. Tears trickled from Alex eyes. His mind was frantic with thoughts, whirling like dervishes in his brain. He had to protect Sage. Too many people seemed to be getting hurt because of him, because of who and what he was, what he’d written. Dianne, Miles, and now the threat against Sage. Eric could do what he wanted to Alex; he was used to people using him.

After what seemed like hours and when Alex was bloodied and bruised, Eric unfastened the ties from Alex’s ankles, lifting his trembling legs around Eric’s waist. Alex watched from eyes that were gritty and sore and a heart that had turned to stone. He didn’t care about anything anymore; he just wanted this whole thing to be over. He thought dully that
everything
would be over after this.

Eric grinned at Alex, manoeuvring himself to the right position. “You’ll enjoy this, Alex. God knows I’ve waited long enough. And maybe later I’ll taste that lovely cock of yours too.” The lust in his voice made Alex close his eyes. He didn’t want to see Eric’s face. It reminded him of Rudy’s when he’d had him. Alex knew now deep in his soul that there was only one purpose for a man like him.

Eric rammed inside him, from the front, whilst Alex hung suspended. He didn’t even stop to put on a condom or lube himself up. Alex’s mind shut down as his body was violated without mercy, the pain he felt inside taking him into another dimension. Alex’s body was brutalised and aching and all hope left him at this final act of betrayal. He finally gave in to the darkness that descended, covering him in its cold and cruel blackness.

* * *

The following day Sage frowned as he listened to Alex’s voice mail message once again. He’d been trying to call him all day with no luck. Sage planned on going out to his apartment after he finished filming as he knew he had yet another apology to make. Once again he’d been a real prick, letting his emotions get the better of him, letting his disappointment and frustration rise to the surface. All his talk about him being there for his lover, being patient and waiting until he was ready—that had all been bullshit given his rant yesterday. Alex had every right to be mad at him. Sage had never seen someone try so hard to overcome his demons.

What the fuck was wrong with him? After their last spat, Sage had made his mind up to be more patient but then he’d gone off at a tangent yet again. He knew deep down inside that what he was expected to do to get Alex through this went above and beyond the call of duty that could be expected of any man, but he’d thought he’d be stronger than this. It was because he was so bloody crazy in love with the man.

He waded impatiently through the last scenes of the day, leaving the studio to walk briskly to Alex’s apartment. It was close to seven p.m. when he got there and it was still fairly light. There didn’t appear to be any lights on inside.

The street looked free of reporters. Lately the media attention had been wearing thin as there were no new developments or calamities to report on. Sage knocked and rang the bell but there was no response. He wondered if Alex had a spare key, hunting around in the various plant pots and flower troughs but finding nothing. He turned his attention to a small wrought iron squirrel standing by the door. Lifting it up, he saw a small silver key lying on the dirt. Smiling in triumph, he picked it up and set in the lock. The door opened and he pushed it slowly, peering into the dim light of the entrance hall. “Alex? Are you in here? It’s Sage.”

He pushed the door fully open, walking in, shutting the door behind him. It was dark and the apartment smelt medicinal, as if someone had been using Dettol or some other antiseptic. He frowned as he slipped quietly through the apartment toward Alex’s bedroom.