Saving My Submission BN (34 page)

“Did you kill her?” I asked Joshua licking my lips.

“No,” he murmured.
 
His tone was contrite.
 

I raised a hand toward my throbbing head, but Joshua
reached out and tenderly drew it back down. Static buzzed in my ears as
commotion and chaos seemed to ripple all around me, making it hard to focus.

Glancing over Joshua’s shoulder, I saw Carnation tied
to a kitchen chair in the middle of the room. A silver strip of duct tape
covered her mouth. Drake pressed a thick pad of gauze to her blood-stained
shoulder as she jerked and thrashed, fighting his attempt to offer first-aid.

A part of me wanted him to let her bleed out, while
another part of me felt nothing but pity for the twisted and demented girl.
Locking gazes with me, Carnation stopped struggling and shot me a hateful
glare. Turning her attention on Joshua, she stared at his back; longing and
rejection filled her tormented eyes.

A few feet away, a heavyset man lay face down on the
floor, hog-tied and silenced with another strip of tape. White gauze had been
wrapped around his thigh. Blood seeped into a bright red circle, marking the
spot where Dylan had shot him.
Tideway
.
As if resigned to his fate, he didn’t struggle against his awkward position,
but the dark evil flashing in eyes promised retribution.

Anger chiseled Nick’s features. He looked deadly
standing guard, gun aimed on the stalker as if ready to blow him away if given
half a chance. A shiver raced up my spine.

“Can we go home now?” I asked.

“Soon, baby. Soon,” Sanna cooed.

It seemed that Dylan had appeared out of nowhere. As
he crouched next to my head, he set something on the floor and leaned in close
to my face. Lifting each of my eyelids, he flashed a small light into my eyes
and I winced.

“How’s the head, sweetheart?” he asked in a soft,
concerned tone.

“Hurts,” I affirmed. “Can we go home now?”

“Baby, I told you already, soon,” Sanna sniffed and
shot Dylan a worried look.

“She’s asked the same question before?” he quizzed my
sister, who nodded. “Concussion. Don’t be alarmed if she asks it again,
kitten.”

I didn’t remember repeating myself, but my thoughts
felt scattered like confetti in the breeze. I could pluck them out, but
couldn’t hold onto them.

“This is going to be a little cold, and it might
sting. I’m going to put some betadine solution on your head. You’ve got a
couple pretty good lacerations there, sweetheart,” Dylan explained as he pulled
the cold, wet compress off my head.

Alarmed at the amount of blood saturating the thick
squares of gauze, I gasped.

“It’s all right, baby. Head wounds bleed a lot.”
Joshua’s soothing words contradicted the tension vibrating from his body.
“Dylan is trying to minimize the risk of infection. Let him work on you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dylan trickled the cold solution over my scalp and I
hissed as the liquid stung my open lesions.

The front door opened and James rushed in, followed by
two white-shirted paramedics with Ian close behind. Quickly darting a glance at
Tideway and Carnation, incapacitated and guarded by two men toting large
rifles, the first-aid responders exchanged a nervous glance.

“Check her out first,” Ian instructed as he herded the
two men my way. “She’s a victim of the other two.”

“I’m not a victim,” I corrected softly, as Dylan stood
and stepped aside. “I’m a survivor.”

Joshua grinned, a true grin that lit up his face and
reached his eyes. “That you are, my love. That you are.”

“Can we go home now?” I asked.

“Oh, Mellie,” Sanna moaned. “Do something for her. Fix
her. I want my sister back,” she instructed the paramedics as fat tears
streamed down her cheeks.

Dylan stepped around the couch, pulling her into his
arms as she broke down in pitiful sobs.

“I’m right here, sis. I’m fine,” I confirmed,
wondering why she was coming so unhinged. “I got a couple bumps on the head,
but I’m fine.”

“You will be, little one,” Joshua assured.

Two more paramedics, several firemen, and a couple of
police officers paraded through the front door. Joshua stood up as the men in
white slowly helped me sit up. I closed my eyes. There was too much motion in
the room, and being in a vertical position made my stomach churn and my head
spin.

“Mellie?” Joshua softly called to me. Lifting my heavy
lids, I peered up at him… all tall, handsome, and strong—and mine. “I’m right
here if you need me, sweetheart.”

“I’ll always need you,” I promised with a tiny smile
before closing my eyes again.

Listening to the conversations going on around me was
hard, but I garnered bits and pieces of them. The fire had been contained and
was purposefully set, but the lodge was no longer in danger. Someone had
removed the duct tape over Carnation and Tideway’s mouths as they both
responded ‘yes’ after being Mirandized.

One of the paramedics told Joshua that I needed to go
to the hospital, but that Tideway’s and Carnation’s gunshot wounds took
precedence over my concussion. A derisive string of curses erupted from my
sister’s mouth. Neither Dylan nor Nick reprimanded her, but a few soft chuckles
resounded in the room. Even Joshua chuckled as he cradled me in his arms.
Peeking up, I watched Sanna storm across the room, going toe-to-toe with one of
the paramedics as she demanded I be transported in one of the ambulances. A
tiny smile curled on my lips. We were indeed cut from the same cloth.

Several minutes later, I lay nuzzled up in Joshua’s
arms, but this time in the back seat of Nick’s truck as he drove us back to
Chicago, to the hospital. Dylan peered over his shoulder in the passenger’s
seat, watching me with a worried expression and gazing lovingly at Sanna as she
sat next to me skimming her hand up and down my leg. Ian, James, and Drake
remained behind to finish answering the sheriff’s questions and to lock up the
lodge.

“Hey, Mel,” Sanna grinned, with a mischievous twinkle
in her eyes. “We’re going home now.”

#

Two days later I sat in Joshua’s massive bed, loopy on
pain meds and looking like I’d been in a cage match with a gorilla as he
spoon-fed me soup that Sanna and her Masters had brought over earlier. Joshua
had pampered me non-stop since I’d been released from the hospital the day
before. My heart swelled at the adoration brimming in his eyes and the care he
gave, tirelessly.

It was time. Time to tell him the things I thought I’d
be taking to my grave in that dank, cold cellar.

“There’s something I need to say to you,” I announced,
nervously.

His brows furrowed slightly. “Okay. Tell me.”

Swallowing tightly, a quivering smile fluttered on my
lips. “I love you.”

Joshua’s face fell lax in a bewildered sort of
amazement, and he dropped the spoon. It landed with a clatter inside the glass
bowl and I giggled.

A stunned smile crawled across his lips, growing wider
and brighter before he placed the soup on the nightstand and repositioned
himself next to me. Carefully dragging me onto his lap, as if afraid he’d break
me, he fluttered his skillful hands around my cheeks and stared at me… studying
every freckle and pore.

Leaning in, he brushed his lips to mine. “It’s about
damn time, little one,” he whispered against my mouth. “I love you, too.”

Sliding toward the center of the bed, he drew the
covers over us and held me in his arms. Neither of us said anything for a long
time; we simply savored the strange and newly fortified connection that bound us
to each other.

When nighttime came, he helped me into a long silk
robe and carried me down the stairs, out the loft and all the way to the rose
garden behind Christian’s gallery… the place where it all began. Seated on the
padded bench, Joshua slung his arm around my waist, and we stared up at the
stars.

“When you were in England, I came here every night,”
he confessed.

The thought of him coming to this special place night
after night took my breath away.

“You did?”

“Yes. I’d spend hours in my studio, working—”

“You still haven’t shown me your surprise,” I
interrupted.

“Tomorrow, little one... I’ll let you see it
tomorrow.” He grinned.

“I’m sorry, go on,”

“Working with my hands wasn’t enough to process
everything,” he began again. “I came here to remember the touch of your skin,
the taste of your lips, and how you sweet you smelled.”

His expression turned solemn. I knew there was more he
wanted to say, but struggled with the words, or the courage to say them.

“I also came here to talk to Veronica and Camille; to
tell them good-bye, and to let them go.”

A fat tear slipped down my cheek as I leaned in and
rested my head on his shoulder.

“I meant what I said at the lodge. I want to start a
new chapter of my life with you, Mellie. And now that Carnation and Tideway are
locked up, I need to know if you really, truly want the same. I love you and I
know you love me, but we’re not young and naïve. We both know that sometimes,
love isn’t enough.”

Sitting back up, I stared at him. He was worried…
Worried that I didn’t need him anymore. Or that I didn’t love him enough to
make the necessary sacrifices and changes in my life for him… for us. How could
he think such a thing?

Umm, maybe because your
track record isn’t the greatest, and even though you’ve turned over a new leaf,
maybe he wants a guarantee that you’re not going to flip back out and float
away on the wind. He wants a commitment, dumbass. You know… that thing you
swore you’d never give any man? Seriously, do you blame him?

“I didn’t keep you by my side as an emotional safety
net, Joshua. I stayed with you because I wanted you… needed you, far beyond the
circumstances we were forced into. I still do. I meant it, too when I told you
that I love you.” Joy flashed in his eyes. “I want to start a new chapter, too…with
you. Change and grow, so we can live happily ever after. I might be your
fantasy, but you’re my fairy tale.”

“I thought girls grew into women, and reality
conquered their childish fantasies,” he quipped with a knowing grin.

I chuckled, wondering how he’d remembered the words
I’d said to him that night. But maybe they’d been branded in his soul, just as
every moment I’d spent with him had been branded into mine.

“They do, but if the girl is smart, she saves one,
just in case… fairy tales do come true.”

“I knew you were a wise woman,” he whispered as he
brushed another kiss over my lips. Closing my eyes, I welcomed the tingling
sensation and the profound sense of peace that filled me. I finally knew what
love felt like… it was like I’d always dreamed it would be.

Bright and early the next morning, as Joshua snored in
my ear, I bit back a giggle and kissed him awake.

“
Mmmm
,” he rumbled as he
pulled me in closer, warming me with his lean body.

“It’s tomorrow. You know what that means. Come on. You
promised you’d show me,” I reminded him with an excited lilt in my voice.

Popping one eye open, he looked at me and frowned.
“It’s not going anywhere, little one.”

“I know, but I can’t wait any longer.”

He chuckled. “I can’t wait to see you on Christmas
morning, little one. You’re so cute.” With a mock scowl he shook his head. “But
you need long hours of patience training. If I was a stern and hardnosed
Master, I’d make you wait until tonight.”

“But you won’t, because you love me and you know it
will make me happy to see it now.”

Joshua closed his eye and shook his head. “I’ve
created a monster,” he murmured with a grin.

Hoping a different tactic might work, I slid my tongue
over his nipple. “Come on, Master Stephen,
pleaseeeee
.”

Opening both eyes, he looked down at me and scowled,
in earnest. “Don’t even play that shit, girl. I won’t have you manipulating my
Dominance to get what you want. Topping from the bottom isn’t going to get you
anything but a sore, red ass. Understood?”

His reprimand bordered on stirring my guilt and
enticing my submission, both of which flickered to life in a heated rush, and I
sobered.

Satisfied he’d made his point, Joshua leaned over me,
studying my face. “The swelling’s gone down a little bit around your eye, but
the bruising is getting brighter. There are some green tinges spreading out
from the purple area and the blood in your sclera isn’t as dark.”

“Marvelous.” I pouted. “So I look like a mixture of
Barney and Kermit with a raging case of pink eye. Is what you’re saying?”

“Not at all. You look like the woman I love.” With a
tiny smirk he raised his brows. “I believe you woke me up to
ask
me something, little one?”

There it was; the not so subtle lesson he wanted me to
learn.
Communication.

“Yes, Sir. May we please go up to your studio so I can
see the surprise you’ve been working on?”

“Indeed we can, since you asked so sweetly.” He
smiled. “After we’ve had some coffee.”

I frowned. “So I guess tempting you with my body falls
under the topping from the bottom category, right?”

“Yes it does. But there’ll be no sex, at least not for
a little while. We need to give your brain time to heal, girl.”

“Then why do they call it sexual healing?” I
challenged with a sly grin.

Joshua laughed. “God, I love you.”

Easing out from the covers, he stood and extended his
hand.

“Coffee? Really?” I asked, curling my lips in a
melodramatic pout.

“Yes,” he replied in that nipple-hardening Dominant
tone.

Our simple cup of coffee turned into a huge breakfast.
Tempering my impatience as we ate, I leaned back and sipped my coffee while
Joshua chomped on his last bite of pancakes. With a wicked grin he turned and
glanced at the dirty pans and mixing bowls lining the counter tops of the big
kitchen and sighed.