Say You'll Never Love Me (9 page)

She stepped to the counter. “Hi, I’m Raynebeaux Starr, Silbie Collins’ aunt. I want to see her.”

The secretary paid her no mind and continued to type. “After you see the principal.”

Raynie leaned closer. Tapped her finger on the countertop. “It wasn’t a request.”

Now the woman snapped to attention. “Oh, well, generally the parent meets with him first, then brings in the child.”

“My niece. Now.”

Jared ran a hand over his face to hide the smile playing at the corner of his lips. He’d not known Raynie’s last name was Starr until she said it, and a person named after two heavenly things, making demands seemed out of character. Now he understood her sister’s name choice had Silbie been a boy. Raynebeaux and Celestial. Damn. What kind of parents did that?

The secretary strutted to a door across from her desk and opened it. A younger version of Raynie sat alone in a wooden chair. When she saw her aunt, she charged from the room and into Raynie’s waiting arms.

“Are you okay?” She knelt, hugged her tight, and Silbie cried against her chest.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Raynie. Please don’t be mad at me. Please don’t die and leave me. I promise I’ll do better.”

She eased the small body away and cupped her face. “I’m not mad, and I’ll never leave you. Why would you say that?”

“Because I heard Mommy and Daddy arguing about me. They were mad, and then they died. It’s my fault.”

“That isn’t true. It was just a terrible accident. The last thing they wanted was to leave you. They loved you more than anything.” She held her close again. “Understand?”

The softness and tone of Raynie’s voice convinced Jared she’d be a wonderful mother, whether she knew it or not. And if there was any way he could convince her of that, he would.

Raynie led Silbie to the sofa. “This is my friend, Father Jared.”

“Hi, Silbie.”

Raynie wrapped an arm around her. “Now, tell me what happened today.”

“Cody pulled my hair and called me an orphan. I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He kept saying it, so I hit him. I’m not one. Am I?”

“No. You’re not. Orphans have no one to care about them. You have tons of people who love you.”

“Miss Starr, Principal Baxter will see you now.”

Raynie nodded. “Do you want to sit here with Father Jared or go with me?”

“I’ll stay here. I’ve already talked to Mr. Baxter.”

Raynie disappeared into the office and Jared turned to the little girl. “So, did you get him with a right or left hook?”

“I didn’t have a hook. I used my hand.”

He laughed. It’d been a long time since he’d talked to a child her age, so he was a little rusty. “That’s a boxing term.” He fisted his hand. “If you come around like this, it’s a right hook. This way, it’s a left.”

“Oh. I used a right one.”

“I’ll bet Cody doesn’t bother you anymore.”

“I don’t think Mr. Baxter will let me to come to the lock-in.” She cried again, and without thinking, Jared gathered her into his arms. “It’ll be all right. I’ll tell you what. Ever been to the Stars and Stripes Drive-in? If they have a kid’s movie showing, I’ll take you and your aunt. Would you like that?”

Silbie pushed away and gazed at him with wonder in her eyes. “You just made my day a thousand times better.”

Jared laughed. This kid was a lot like Raynie, and he liked her.

Raynie came from the office, took one look at them and smiled. “Okay, let’s go.”

He came to his feet, and Silbie slipped her hand in his. He studied her tear stained face and wondered what he’d gotten himself in to. The little girl had apparently taken an instant liking to him. Understandable. She’d lost her dad, and she missed him.

Silbie gazed up at her aunt. “Did Mr. Baxter say I can’t come Friday night?”

“No. You can come and you won’t be punished. But I want you to apologize to the boy tomorrow. I’ve arranged for us to meet before school. Cody was wrong, but you can’t hit people, no matter what they say. The next time something like that happens, I expect you to tell a teacher. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She put her niece in the backseat of the truck and buckled her in. Once on the road, Silbie leaned forward. “Father Jared, will you still take us to the drive-in?”

Raynie jerked around to face him. “What? You planned something while I was with the principal?”

“I was going ask your permission. Besides, you need to experience some of what the city offers before you le . . .”

Raynie fake coughed, scrunched up her face and shook her head.
So, she’d not told Silbie they weren’t staying in Lubbock.
Withholding the truth, sounded familiar. “Sure, we’ll still go. We can make a day of it. I bet Aunt Raynie would enjoy a visit to Prairie Dog Town.”

“Yay! Can we?”

Raynie rolled her eyes. “Let me get this straight. First, we’d go to a place with furry little animals living—outside. Then finish the day at a drive-in movie. Again, outdoors. In a city where the wind always blows and dust sands your skin off the bone.”

“Sounds about right. On the bright side, while we’re at Stars and Stripes, we can eat one of their famous Chihuahua Sandwiches.”

Raynie’s mouth quirked up at the corners. “Are they made with prairie dog meat?”

Silbie giggled.

He smirked. “You’re funny. No. Two crispy tortillas, homemade chili, pimento cheese, shredded cabbage, onions, and jalapenos. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven.”

“That’s good because it sounds like a person might check out after eating that concoction.”

“Hey, don’t judge until you try it.” He turned into her drive and she eyed him.

“How did you know where I lived?”

His heart kicked up a notch. Damn. He needed to think fast. “Uh. Pretty sure you mentioned the address.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeah. When I offered to take you home after lunch yesterday.”

She titled her head to one side. “I don’t remember that, but I guess I did.” She released Silbie’s seat belt. “Go wait on the porch and let me talk to Father Jared.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye, sweet pea. Your aunt and I will decide on a day for our adventure.”

“Okay.” Then she hopped from the truck and ran toward the house.

Jared’s heart hammered. He expected her to light into him about making the plans without asking first. She wouldn’t say anything in front of Silbie. Not after finding out she felt responsible for her parent’s death. Or, Raynie remembered she didn’t give him her address. Whichever, he braced for the worst.

She turned to him. “Thanks for taking me to the school.”

Relief washed over him. “Happy to help. You’re good with her. I stick to what I said before. You don’t give yourself enough credit in the parenting department.”

“Not sure about that. I can’t believe she blames herself.”

“Yeah, kids her age don’t know how to handle losing someone they love.”

“You should talk to her about God and death and Heaven and stuff.”

Jared shifted in his seat and hoped a bolt of lightning didn’t strike. “Sure.”

“I only mention it because it seems the two of you hit it off.”

“We did. I hope I didn’t overstep by suggesting a day out. But she cried, and I don’t do well when girls cry, no matter what age. Besides, you can’t visit Lubbock and not see prairie dogs. It’s just not right.”

“Thanks for picking up on my sign not to mention the move. I haven’t found the right time to tell her about it.”

“I understand.”
More than you know.

She laid a hand on his arm. “As a reward for not outing me, I agree to your furry creature getaway.”

A current of electricity traveled north, and he felt warm all over. “Thanks. I look forward to it.”

Her neighbor came from his front lawn and met Raynie on the sidewalk. The old guy eyed Jared, and he wasn’t sure if he was sizing him up, or trying to bring into focus. Either way, Jared waved and backed out of the drive.

Headed toward home, it took a few miles before his heart got its rhythm back. Damn, he’d dodged a bullet. All he needed was for her to find out he’d googled Celeste’s address to make him seem creepy. But then his guilt eased. The fact Raynie had her own secret, should make it impossible for her to condemn him.

It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us.

~~Dorothy Dix

IF RAYNIE HAD GIVEN
more thought to Jared’s invitation, she might have refused. But since leaving Silbie with him to wait in the school office, she’d seen a sparkle in her niece’s eyes. The child missed her dad. That became clear when she latched onto Jared’s hand. Raynie wasn’t trying to replace Celeste, but at least she provided a mother figure. However, there were things a child needed that a mom couldn’t provide. Raynie remembered how safe her dad always made her feel. As if nothing could hurt her as long as he was there. Now, it seemed Silbie might look to Jared for that comfort.

He probably didn’t have a clue it was happening, but he would soon. Then what? She rinsed the last plate and put it in the dishwasher, then stared into the backyard where Silbie turned cartwheels. Athletic genes ran in the family. Evan, a star point guard in high school, and Celeste, district champion in track.

The way Jared’s butt filled out a pair of jeans, he’d probably played sports. She’d guess baseball. Quinn would disagree. Dang, Raynie missed her best friend. She’d invite her to visit during their next phone call.

Silbie rounded off and somersaulted. Sadness overwhelmed Raynie because the child blamed herself for the accident. More than anything, she wanted to fix that, but didn’t know how.

After another sleepless night, the next morning Raynie’s nerves jumped. Growing up, she hated when her mother harped on her many screw-ups, so she took the other path and didn’t mention the school mishap again. Maybe that was a mistake. Damn, she wished there was a manual for all this stuff.

Greta had texted and suggested meeting at a coffee shop not far from the elementary campus, and Raynie found Java Joe’s with no problem. A bleak sky threatened another storm, and she hated the thought of it. The building already looked as if it had weathered a few. Two grimy benches sat against dirty brown stucco.

Once inside, she waved to Greta, then stopped to place an order. Thank goodness, the interior was cleaner. A glass case filled with an assortment of muffins didn’t have a single smudge. The aroma of cinnamon, vanilla, and roasted coffee beans hung in the air. She scooted into the booth. Greta pointed at her plate. “You should try this, it’s delicious. Strawberry cream is my favorite, but you can’t go wrong with any of the choices.”

Raynie wasn’t much on chit-chat. Come to think of it, she didn’t waste time with anything. Get to the point and move on. That tactic worked perfectly the day before with the principal when she’d threatened to go to the paper with a human interest story, of how her niece had lost her parents and now faced bullying at school. Once she pointed that out, his demeanor changed before he even spoke. The key to dealing with authority figures . . . cop the right attitude.

“I’m not hungry. I called you because I found divorce papers. You were Celeste’s best friend. She confided in you. Right?”

Greta sipped, then set her cup back on the saucer. “Not really. Your sister was a hard person to know. She kept everyone at arm’s length. Evan had an affair. We all knew. But she never talked about it. But that had been a while ago. Maybe he had another. Or never ended the first one.”

Greta leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Or, A while back, the rumor mill circulated Celeste was carrying on with a client.” She flapped the air with her hand. “I don’t know if it was true, but then two months ago, I heard they were seeing a marriage counselor. She didn’t talk to you about it?”

The waitress placed a cup in front of Raynie. “Need anything else, hon?”

“No, thank you.” She no longer wanted the coffee. The thought of Celeste having an affair turned Raynie’s stomach. She waited until they were alone again. “Celeste and I weren’t close. I regret it.”

“Well, they were getting help, so they wanted to work things out. Don’t you think?”

“I don’t know.” Raynie checked her watch. Rico should be awake by now. No need to hang with clueless Greta. “I’ve got to go. Thanks for meeting with me.”

“Sorry I wasn’t more help. I heard about the trouble at school yesterday and how you put Mr. Baxter in his place.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I met with him and luckily he cut Silbie some slack. We went in this morning and apologized to the little boy and his parents.”

Greta laughed. “The grapevine says you handled Mr. B. like Silly Putty. Good for you. He can be a real jerk.”

This visit with Miss Uppity was a major failure. She was too wrapped up in herself to know much about Celeste. No wonder she didn’t confide in the woman. That left Raynie wondering if her sister had anyone to talk to about her troubles. Another regret.

Raynie said goodbye and drove to Rico’s motel. Two hours later, she rolled over, eyed the clock, then bolted upright in bed. “I’ve got to leave.”

He pulled her back to him. “You don’t have to pick up the kid until three.”