Scars and Songs (18 page)

“What do you want, Shane?” Her voice cut into my thoughts.
Itʼs not her voicemail, she answered the phone!

“Who is Brianna?” I answered.
How was it possible that those words could have crossed my lips?
This girl made me an idiot. She tongue-tied me like no one else. 

“Um, the stunning blonde you picked up at the bar and danced with,” she replied.
Was that a giggle I heard?
“She went in the ambulance with you, Shane. How could you not know who Iʼm talking about? Anyway, why are you calling me and asking about it; more importantly, who gave you my number so I can plot their slow death?”
She was definitely giggling at me!

“Oh, man. I thought her name was Lori. Did you get upset when I was dancing with her?”
Holy crap, it was as if I had lost the brain to mouth filter in this body! What the...it’s like I’m malfunctioning.

“Shane, why in the world would I care if you danced with someone? Is that why you called me?” Not the answer I really wanted to hear.
How about a HELL YES! It drove me crazy! I want you to come over right now!

A laugh sputtered out of my damn lips.
A laugh
. More like a girly freaking giggle. I sighed loudly at my own stupidity. Why did I even bother to call her? She would never give me the time of day. What was I hoping for?

“No, I just wanted to see how you were doing. It
ʼs not every night that someone attacks you, right?”
And, Grace the thought of someone hurting you almost killed me. The thought that someone had touched you, caused you pain in any way, made me what to bring the heavens down
.

“I
ʼm absolutely fine, exhausted, but fine.”

I felt like a chump calling her. “I programed your number into my phone when I called you on Lea
ʼs phone looking for Tucker. I didnʼt think youʼd mind.” I desperately tried to change the subject. “I was about to grab something to eat and then go to bed, what are you doing?”

“I
ʼm climbing into bed right now,” she yawned.

The thought of her slipping her sexy legs under her sheets made my whole body stiffen.  I couldn’t even wrap my head around the thoughts her words brought to my mind. “Oh,” I managed to reply. My chest ached as much as my damn body did at her voice. “That’s a thought that’s going to last me all night.”

“God, Shane!  Shut up!  Why does everything have to be sexual with you?  Have you seriously never had a platonic friendship with a female before?”  Even though I knew the words were serious, I could hear the laughter in her voice.

“No. Ah, Grace
, look, I just called to see how you were doing.  Like I said, it’s not every night that someone attacks you, right?  Or
does
this happen often?” I asked again in a playful tone. 

“I really am fine, Shane, but it’s not every night that someone tries to protect me from someone who attacks me.  I don’t even know what to say, because thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough.  You kind of amazed me tonight.”

Then she just talked with me.  At some point, my heart stopped and I could barely breathe listening to her words.  When my heart started thundering in my chest again, I let myself fall limply against my pillows and laughed with her until the sun came up.

When we disconnected, I was so much more taken with her than I had been when I first laid eyes on her and my heart felt twisted.  The truth was, Grace should steer clear of my cursed life and me. I would never be whole for her.  But, that girl had a way about her that made me feel like anything was possible.

I rolled myself out of bed around five o’clock on Thursday evening.  And the conclusion I came to as I stumbled through the hallway into the kitchen looking for coffee:  Staying up on the phone all night with a girl that spun your body into a whirl of fucking tense sexual emotions will cause a man to sleep for eleven hours straight.  It also made me feel higher than a kite.  My body was strung tight and I practically bounced off the walls of the kitchen with a strange euphoric energy.

“Hey, good evening, Sleeping Beauty.  Glad you remembered to get up for the auditions tonight,” Ethan quipped as I made coffee.  “Who the hell were you laughing and talking to on the phone all night?”

Crap, this was going to be a shitty conversation
.  “Grace,” I murmured, slowly bringing my eyes to meet his.

Ethan dragged his gaze away from the coffee maker and directed a threatening look right at me.  “Don’t go there, Shane,” he said grimly.  “Dude, you’re going to end up crushing her if she falls for you.”

“Well, thank you, buddy, for the fucking vote of confidence,” I said, finding my black leather motorcycle boots and shoving my feet into them, then glaring back at him.

“Shane.  Look me in the eye and tell me you won’t hurt her,” he deadpanned.

“Drop it, Ethan.  I’m just getting to know her; I’m trying to be a friend.  I called her last night to see if she was okay after what happened.  That’s it.  We talked.  Leave me alone about it.”

“Fine.  Let’s just go down to the studio and see who shows up for auditions.  Alex, Bray and Conner are already downstairs. 
Waiting
,” he said storming out.  “Oh, and while you were sleeping all day, Alex is fine. He didn’t have to stay the night in jail.  Tucker’s dad got him released.  Not that you seem to give a shit about anything but your dick.”

I took off after him out of our apartment and down the steps to the studio that we had built in the basement of the building.  I stopped dead when I reached the doorway.  Four people were waiting in the hallway with guitar cases in their hands. 
Four fucking people
and Tucker was one of them.  My muscles tightened immediately.  I had a shitty feeling that Mad World would be out of gigs for the next six weeks.

Tucker barged his way through the studio door when I opened it, carrying a 30 pack of
Budweiser
.  He wore a pair of those 1970 nuthugger jeans, converse sneakers and an old worn out
Poison
tee shirt circa 1990.  “Hey, posers! 
Anybodywantabeer?
  I think I got like eight left in here,” he said slurring his words. 
Well, if we didn’t find someone to replace Alex for the next few weeks, at least we knew the auditions would be very entertaining with Tucker as tanked as he was
.  Let’s see 30 beers minus 8 equals, yeah,
tanked
.

Walking right in the studio behind Tucker were the three other guys there to play for us.  They each took a beer from Tucker, which pissed me off at all of them instantly.

Ethan quietly sat himself behind his kit, and Brayden was already leaning up against the wall with his bass in his hands.  Alex sat on one of the couches with his casts lying across his chest, Conner sat beside him. I grabbed my guitar from its stand and nodded at the guy closest to me.  “Okay, let’s get this shit over with.  Why don’t you just start playing whatever you’re good at and we’ll jump in?  What’s your name, by the way?”

“They call me Axe,” he sneered, plugged his guitar into Alex’s amp, and played a heavy thrash rhythm.  The guy was good, he had really fast fingers and he flew through riffs.  I jumped in with him when he played an old school Metallica song and when it was over, Alex gave me a slight nod with his head as if to say he liked him.

Tucker stood up, took a huge gulp of beer and yelled, “That fucking sucked!  Next!”  Then he threw his empty beer can at the guy.  When the guy didn’t move fast enough to his liking, Tucker pegged the rest of the applicants with more cans of beer until I grabbed him around the waist and subdued him.  By the time I reached him though, it was too late; the three guys wanting to take Alex’s place were running down the hallway away from the studio.

Alex jumped into Tucker’s face, casts flailing around, “What brand of douche
are you?
  If I had my hands out of these casts I would slap you like a little girl.”

Tucker tried shrugging himself out of my hold, “You know this is all bullshit anyway. Who knows your shitty ass music better than me?”

I palmed his face and mushed him away from me before I got too angry and started really wailing on him.  “Grab Alex’s guitar then and see if you can even remember how to hold it.”

We all watched in horror as Tucker drunkenly tried to strap Alex’s precious guitar on, banging it into the speakers and amps, stumbling and struggling with it as he tried to stand up straight.

“You have got you be kidding me,” Ethan growled when Tucker finally got the guitar strapped to him. 
Backwards
. Then his legs seemed to buckle under him and he dropped heavily to his knees on the floor.

Alex’s eyes widened and his jaw flew open. “Get my guitar!  Get it away from him!  Get it!  Geeeeet Ittttttttt!” he yelled.

Ethan jumped over his kit, symbols crashing to the floor, ran for Tucker and yanked the guitar right off his neck.  Tucker’s response was to laugh and crawl back to his case of beer and snap open another one.

I watched all the expressions on my band mate’s faces and my stomach dropped for them.  Since the day we met Tucker, he had always been a royal pain in our sides. I didn’t even know why we still put up with his crap.

Shaking my head, I glanced at Conner who was talking on the phone with a giant smile plastered over his lips.  “Well, that is going to be awesome to watch.  Okay, babe,” he was saying into his phone. 
Sounded like he was talking to Lea, probably about something naughty.  Crap, I envied him. 
An amazing fantasy danced before my eyes of those words falling from my lips as I spoke with Grace. 
I could think of about ten thousand things it would be awesome to watch Grace do.  Ugh.  Get a grip, Shane!

Nodding to the rest of the guys, I sat down hard on the floor of the studio and laid my guitar across my lap.  Alex, Braden and Ethan followed suit and started discussing all the many wonderful ways to kill Tucker.  All while Tucker sat crossed legged and giggled. 
Idiot
.

About ten minutes later, a soft knock at the door silenced the room.  With that huge smile still splitting his face in two, Conner opened the door.  “Just in time, two beautiful girls
in the studio should help ease some tension, I hope.”  Lea walked in and jumped into his arms.  But the sight of Grace walking in behind her was what made my breath catch in my throat.

I stood up, dusted my pants off, and started to walk over.  But, Tucker reached her before I could, stumbling wildly.  “Hey, are you here to listen to me play?  That’s cool, my first fan.”  I shoved him out of the way to see Grace better.

As I laid my eyes on her, a cool shiver passed through my body.  She paused right after she stepped through the doorway and slid her arms slowly out of her jacket.  My body became restless and alive as I drank in the sight of her like a thirsty man.  Her hair fell like a straight silky black curtain outlining the savage beauty of her face.  Eyes so light gray, they shined and sparkled like diamonds.  The red straps of her shirt eased themselves over her shoulders and plunged down to show the curves and swell of her breasts.  I swayed back on the heels of my boots when my eyes slowly traveled down to her hands and watched her open a guitar case.  Then, I stopped breathing all together.

“I’m sorry, Tucker, but I’m not here to listen to you play.  I thought I’d take a crack at auditioning; see if I could play as good as Alex,” she said in a breathy voice.  Her eyes were fixed on mine, and I could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest. 
She was having trouble breathing too.

Tucker busted out a drunken laugh, “My fucking mother could play better than Alex right now, both his arms are broken, but she ain’t here.  But, damn girl, you look hot.  I’d like to buy some stock in that ass later.  My place or yours?”

I wanted to hit him.  I turned to grab him, shake some sense into him, or just shut him the hell up.  The way he spoke to her made me want to lift him above my head and throw him against the wall.

Grace narrowed her eyes at Tucker,
and then glanced behind him at the cans of beer he left on the floor.  “I think you are subhuman when you drink and talk like that, so I’d appreciate it, if when you do drink, you don’t speak to me,” Grace said to him. I held back a laugh.  “Shane, is it okay if I try?”  She held her guitar in her hands and I stood there stunned. 
Oh my God, that looks like Eric Clapton’s guitar
.

“That looks an awful lot like a
1964 Gibson ES0335 TDC
,” I whispered.

“Yeah, an awful lot like it.  So, can I play?” she said in a sultry tone.  Her lips lifted up in a sideways smile. 
Oh my God, she’s smiling like
it is
Eric Clapton’s guitar
.

  I wanted to close my eyes and just focus on breathing again.  Only Grace was standing there waiting for me to answer her.  Standing there, while the most carnal, erotic sensations tore through my entire body.  The first woman ever who was capable of making me feel so out of control in this body.

“You tell me, Grace.   Can you play?” I asked.