Seaside Secrets (7 page)

“You are not going in there.” Leanna picked up Amy’s jeans and held them out to her. “Shark bait, remember? How many times has Tony told us not to swim at night?”

Amy set her hand on her hip. “All the more reason for me to do it. He’s not the boss of me. And he doesn’t own my heart anymore, remember? Now, are you joining me or standing on the beach like a mother hen?”

Jenna whipped off her sweatshirt. “I’m in!”

“You guys are nuts.” Bella pulled her sweatshirt off. “I’m only going in to make sure you go no deeper than your knees. Idiots.”

“You guys…” Leanna pulled off her sweatshirt. “What if you get bitten by a shark?”

“Oh please. I have no meat on my bones. They don’t want me.” Amy shimmied out of her underwear and tossed her bra behind her as she strutted naked toward the water, feeling liberated. Thank God for Middle Sister wine, which she just might start calling Courage in a Bottle.

“Even Tony doesn’t want me. I’m done being Goody Two-shoes, by the way. I’m done being the one who does the right thing.”

She sensed them all behind her and felt empowered. More confident than she had in her life. She reached her hands out behind her and wiggled her fingers.

Seaside sisters, help me start a new life
. She felt Jenna grab her right hand, Bella took her left, and Leanna took Jenna’s other hand. The four of them stood buck naked before the sea, and Amy’s mind drifted back to the summer before she left for college. Painful memories tried to claw their way into her mind—the blood, the fear on Tony’s face, the ache in her heart. She squeezed the hands of her girlfriends a little tighter and told herself that that summer had never happened. With a hard swallow to push down the lie, she raised her hands in the air and said, “Let’s cleanse Tony right off of me!”

They walked toward the water.
I’m doing this. I’m really doing this. There’s no looking back. Once I get in there, he’s out of my system.

No matter what.

A wave broke over their feet, and they squealed and ran back up on the beach.

“Fuck that’s cold!” Bella crossed her arms over her chest.

“Chilly nipples! Chipples!” Jenna laughed.

“Oh my God. Oh my God.” Leanna bounced from one foot to the other.

“Holy fudgenuggets, it’s cold. But I
need
to do this.” Amy steeled herself against the cold and held out her hands again. It took only a second for the others to join her.

“All for one and all that shit.” Bella’s teeth chattered.

“Goodbye, Tony. Hello, Australia!” Amy ran into the ice-cold water, clinging tightly to her friends’ hands. She sucked in a breath as the water consumed her thighs and sent piercing shocks of cold water over her crotch and up to her waist.

Jenna shrieked. “Under!”

They all dunked under the water at once, then burst through the surface, laughing as they sprinted back up the beach, kicking sand everywhere. Cold and wet, and covered with sticky salt water, they shivered and snatched up their clothes.

“You….” Bella’s voice shook. “You took…” She pulled her hoodie over her head. “The job?”

“Uh…huh.” Amy pulled on her jeans. Her fingers were numb and her entire body was sticky, but she felt better than she had in the last two days.

“Summers off?” Bella asked.

“No.” Amy finished dressing and beckoned the others to come closer. They huddled together, teeth chattering, bodies shaking with cold. She swallowed hard against the tears threatening to silence her.

“He…He told me to go…” She closed her eyes to ward off the cold. “I don’t think I’m strong enough…” A shiver stole her breath. “To see him next summer. I’ll come…” She clenched her jaw against her trembling teeth. “For two or three weeks the following summer.”

They huddled together.

“He
told
you to? Tony did?” Bella narrowed her eyes as Amy nodded. “That asshat. Fuckhead. I’m going to kill him.”

“Amy…” Leanna put her arm around Amy.

Jenna did the same on her other side. Bella plastered her body against Amy from the front, and they came together in a group hug. Amy lifted her eyes to the dunes. This was where it all started so many years ago. She remembered when they were little girls searching for rocks for Jenna and playing in the waves while their parents sat on the blankets reading and talking and doing whatever else grown-ups did back then.

She was a grown-up now.

It was her turn to watch
her
children play in the surf. The thought stung.

She’d always hoped she’d do those things with her best friends, and she’d always believed that sitting right beside her, passing knowing glances and silent looks of love, would be Tony.

Her eyes caught on headlights in the parking lot at the top of the dunes. Caden was on duty tonight, and he always checked up on them if they were out late. The glare of the headlights made it impossible for her to tell if it was him or not. A tall, wide-shouldered silhouette came into focus. There was no mistaking the thick-legged man standing at the top of the dune in a pair of board shorts, powerful arms arcing out from his body. Arms that had carried Amy to the safety of her cottage so many nights that she could feel them now, wrapped around her, warming her.

But they weren’t wrapped around her now. Those were the arms of her girlfriends holding her close. The ones whom she’d told she’d washed away the remnants of the man looking down upon them in the moonlight.

The ones she’d lied to in order to protect her heart.

She closed her eyes for a beat. When she opened them, Tony was gone, and her heart was just as broken as it had been before she’d tried to wash him away. Only now it ached even more, because she knew that if willing him away while she was nestled in the arms of her best girlfriends couldn’t do the job, nothing ever would.

TONY PADDLED HARD to catch his second wave of the morning. He’d been up half the night, frustrated and angry over what was happening with Amy, and had finally decided to go out on dawn patrol—a surfer term for catching early-morning waves. He felt like they’d broken up, which was crazy, considering they weren’t dating. After his seminar last night, he’d gone back to Seaside and taken the back entrance so he didn’t have to pass Amy’s cottage, but that didn’t help. Every goddamn thing felt different. Her cottage was across the street and only two cottages up from his. He could practically smell when she was home, and last night he’d known that even though her car was in the driveway, she wasn’t there. The complex felt empty despite Pete and Kurt having drinks on Kurt’s deck. Even Pepper, Kurt and Leanna’s energetic Labradoodle, didn’t make him feel better. And Pepper was so damn cute he could make anyone smile.

He knew Amy had to be out with the girls, and he knew Amy well enough to know exactly where she’d gone. He’d finally given up trying to ignore the urge to make sure she was okay and he’d driven out to Cahoon Hollow. How was he going to get through this? Just seeing her had brought his feelings for her rushing back in. He couldn’t help but think he’d made the biggest mistake of his life by telling her to take that damn job.

He’d stayed up until she’d returned to her cottage, as he always did. He had to know she was safe. Would that need ever subside? Would he ever be able to stay at his cottage again when she and the girls were skinny-dipping in the pool and
not
listen for her giggle as she walked by on her way to her cottage? He pictured her sweet smile and her green eyes, alit with happiness, which seemed to follow him everywhere. He thought of their group barbecues in the quad, the grassy area between the cottages.
Ames, can you grab some ketchup from my place?
They’d always been comfortable in each other’s homes, and now that would all change. It was changing already.

Was she going to take the job and move to Australia? He’d been there, of course. Bells Beach was one of the great point breaks, located south of the Victorian coastline of Australia. The last time he’d been there, he’d called Amy before his competition. He did that often. As often as he said his silent mantra before the ride.
This one’s for you, Ames
. There was a time he used to say that to her out loud. When they were teenagers and he’d run into the surf to catch a wave. Even before that summer they’d come together, she’d watched him with wide eyes that made him feel special. Like he was her whole world. Every damn time he ran into the surf, it was for her. Now that world he adored was crumbling down around him. When he’d seen her last night, he’d wanted to scoop her into his arms and tell her he’d lied, that he’d never loved her as just a friend, and the last thing he wanted was for her to go to Australia.

But that wouldn’t have been fair, and he hoped to hell that the waves would do what they always did—help him forget. Everything. Her smile, her touch. Her sweet laugh. The way her eyes crinkled around the corners when that smile was genuine and the way her deep green eyes held his gaze for a beat longer than they needed to.

The wave hit the underside of his board, and the familiar sense of exhilaration and greed swept through him. The power of the water traveled up his legs to his core, testing his strength, fighting his balance, but he was Tony Black. He was one with the ocean. He harnessed the magnificent energy of the swell, and there was only him and the sea. He craved the challenge of the waves, the newness and complexity of each one. He longed for its intensity. Anticipation tortured his body as momentum grew, tensing and easing. He was lost in the moment, and when that wave hit, it was over way too fast, leaving him temporarily sated but always craving more.

“Hot damn!” He rode the whitewater, the ridge of turbulence and foam after the break.

He lowered himself to his board and paddled back out, barely taking time to catch his breath. He’d achieved what he needed, a clearer head, but one glance at the empty dunes sent his thoughts spiraling right back to where they were the happiest: drenched in images of Amy.

An hour later he dragged himself from the water feeling invigorated, slightly numb, and still frustrated. He had to talk to her. He had to mend the friendship they both depended on. He set his board in the sand, and as he stripped his wet suit from his limbs, he decided he’d do just that.

“Hey, asshat.”

Tony turned at the sound of Bella’s angry voice. She, Jenna, and Leanna were dressed in their typical attire, short sundresses over bathing suits. Bella stomped across the sand, hands fisted, an angry scowl on her face. If looks could kill, he’d be dead two times over by now.  Jenna and Leanna had serious looks on their faces, but they were more tentative, as if they were there to ensure that Bella didn’t take things too far.
Shit
.

He tossed his wet suit onto his board and faced the firing squad. “Ladies.”

“Don’t you
ladies
us. What did you say to Amy?” Bella was tall; she came almost to Tony’s chin and stood as near as the close talkers Seinfeld hated.

Tony held his ground
and
her steady gaze. “That I loved her like a friend.”

She pushed his chest. “You’re an asshat. What else did you tell her?”

“Bella, chill out.” Jenna touched her arm and Bella shrugged her off.

“I will not chill out.” Bella poked Tony in the chest. “You are a total, complete idiot. She’s moving to Australia because you told her to. Do you even know who you’re talking about? Do you care at all?”

Her eyes dampened, and Tony opened his mouth to respond, but she beat him to it.

“This is Amy. Not Leanna, who can pick up and go anywhere, anytime, without blinking an eye. Sweet, trusting Amy. Stable, consistent Amy. She worked to build her business for seven years, meticulously building a rapport with each and every client, nurturing relationships as if they were her very best friends. And now she’s giving all that up because you are too scared to tell her that you love her. What the fuck, Tony?” She was breathing so hard her face was red.

“Bella—”

“No. Don’t
Bella
me. I’ve been here, remember? All these summers I’ve watched you care for her, hold her fucking hair back when she pukes. What the hell, Tony? What. The. Hell?”

Tony scrubbed his hand down his face. As if self-torture wasn’t enough. He didn’t need this shit, even if she was right. “Goddamn it, Bella. What do you want me to do? Amy is good and sweet and, goddamn it, she deserves a guy way better than me.”

“Bullshit.”

Leanna stepped between them. Her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her dress had streaks of red jam on it, as most of her clothing did. “Tony, what are you talking about? She adores you.”

“Yeah, no shit. I’m not blind, Leanna.”
Just stupid
.

“So why did you tell her to go to Australia?” Leanna’s tone softened.

Tony shook his head. He wanted to have this conversation with Amy, not them.
Fuck it
. Who was he kidding? They were a package deal. Everyone in the whole damn complex was, and he loved them for it. He just hated being in the center of this shit, knowing he was the cause of it.

He blew out a breath and clenched his jaw a few times to gain control of his emotions. “Because it’s a great opportunity for her, and she deserves it.” There was no way in hell he was going to tell them shit before he told Amy. He’d already decided he needed to clear the air with her. That’s what he intended to do, but first he had to get them off his back.

“Look, Amy’s a big girl. She can make decisions for herself. I know you care about her, but you can’t bully me into doing anything, Bella.”

Bella plunked herself down on his beach chair. “Fuck you.”

“Bella.” Jenna touched her shoulder, and Bella shrugged her off again.

“Bella, look.” Tony crouched beside her. “I’ve got a lot of shit to deal with in my own head, all right? You can hate me, and if I were you, I’d probably tell me to fuck off. But you gotta know one thing if you know me at all. Hurting Amy is not something I ever wanted to do.”

“Tony,” Jenna said. “Are you sure this is what you want? If you are, well, you are. We care about you and we’ll respect your decision. But if you’re not, you’re about to lose a woman who really loves you.”