Seduced by Pain (7 page)

Dad cleared his throat, and we all looked at him. "Remember several months ago, all that news coverage about paranormal teens coming out of the closet and the showdown in Hawaii?"

I nodded. It'd been a media blitz for a day or two, then it died down as more and more 'experts' came on to debunk it as a hoax. After all, such things couldn't exist in our modern world.

"I'm friends with the priest who's been helping them. They have a school right here in Washington that specializes in training paranormals. I can put in a call. He might be able to help Rose, and thus help Dean."

The hope I'd thought was dead blossomed back to life at his words. Maybe Rose would never forgive me, but I could at least free her from the fear of her powers and save Dean in the process. That had to count for something.

I just hoped that, after everything I'd put her through, she'd agree to go with me.

We should be woo'd, and were not made to woo.

I'll follow thee, and make a heaven of hell

—William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

Dear Diary,

Love, lust, desire, fear… all of these emotions are tied up inside of me like knots in a noose, ready to choke the life out of me as soon as I fall.

The choices I face should be easier now. After all, I really only have one option, one man who loves me and who I can unguardedly be with intimately. One man who hasn't rejected me because of my past, or my family, or my dark gift.

And though I feel the heat of a burning fire in my belly when Blake appears, it dies out when he's gone, but my love for Derek, my ache to be with him, that never leaves me. I am forever bound to a love I cannot have.

OCEAN'S EYES WIDENED
as I told her about the night before. She'd gotten home a few hours after I woke up, after crashing at a friend's in Seattle while the storm wound itself down.

None of us could believe how fast it hit and how fast it melted away, as if it had never been.

I began to wonder if we'd all imagined it, like a collective hallucination.

"So, nothing at all happened to him when you used your power?"

Blood rushed to my face. "Well, he got harder, but that was about it."

"Yum. Was he huge? He seems like he'd be huge. Long and thick."

The memory of his cock pressing between my legs, hardening with every thrust, made me wet. "Yes, long and thick."

"Bigger than Derek's?"

"Not quite." I pushed those memories out of my mind. My time with Derek in the cabin had been about more than just sex and lust. I'd fallen in love with him, and it gave a deeper meaning to every experience.

"Wow. Lucky girl. Okay, so, what's the problem? Why aren't we tearing apart our closets looking for a hot outfit for you tonight?" She stretched out on the couch and waited for me to answer.

I had agreed to the date, but every other minute I picked up my phone to call and cancel. While I'd certainly been close to having sex with Blake last night, I didn't want to lose my virginity to someone I didn't love. I wanted my first time to be special, not just pleasurable. I wanted it to be with Derek, but I knew that wouldn't—couldn't—happen.

Still, that knowledge did nothing to change my heart.

Ocean stood and pulled me up. "You don't have to fuck him tonight, just go out and have fun. You never know, you might just fall for him as hard as you fell for Derek."

I doubted that, but she was right, there was no harm in going out. He'd promised not to push me into anything. This was just a get to know each other evening.

As we sorted through clothes, I looked more closely at Ocean and noticed a red strawberry mark on her neck. "Looks like you had fun last night."

She flipped her hair and glanced in the mirror. "Damn him, I told him no marks."

"Anyone special?"

"Nope, but he was fun."

"Don't you ever want anything more serious? What about love?" Ocean and I were opposite in a lot of ways, but none more so than when it came to men. While I wanted the happily ever after romance, she wanted the hot and heavy sex.

To be honest, lately I'd been fantasizing about both.

"I don't know. I'm young. I don't want to be tied down to anyone. It'll take a lot to tame my wild nature, and I'm not sure I want to."

I held up a pleated skirt and blouse. "How about this?"

She wrinkled her nose. "No. God, Rose, you really suck at dressing yourself."

"Last time I took your advice on clothing options, I ended up wandering the streets of Seattle looking like a hooker, and two rapists attacked me. I'm thinking the old schoolmarm look isn't such a bad idea after all. Besides, tonight is casual."

I rubbed the spot where the knife had sliced through my arm, right before Derek had rescued me. He'd given me a salve that healed the wound so well not even a scar remained as a reminder of that night. All my scars were hidden on the inside.

She sighed dramatically and handed me a pair of skinny jeans. "Fine, wear these, with heeled black boots and that purple silk blouse that shows off your cleavage. Add some dangling silver earrings and makeup and you'll be just sexy enough without being over the top."

Once dressed, I admired myself in the mirror and admitted she'd nailed it. "I bow to your genius, o master."

"As well you should. What time is he coming to pick you up?"

I checked my cell phone. "In two hours. What do you want to do until then?"

"Let's talk about boys. And sex."

I laughed. "For two hours?"

She frowned. "You're right. That's not nearly enough time to do those subjects justice, but it's a start."

Someone knocked at the door, saving me from an X-rated conversation with my best friend.

I rushed to open it, wondering if Blake had shown up early for some reason, and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw who stood on my porch.

"Derek."

For you, in my respect, are all the world; Then how can it be said I am alone, When all the world is here to look on me?

—William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

"HI, ROSE." HE
handed me a single, purple rose that nature could not have created.

Stunned, robbed of voice and thought, I accepted it. It pulsed with power and smelled like heaven. He'd given me a rose from his family's source of power. That one gesture sent my heart reeling into a tailspin of confusion and wonder.

"You look beautiful." His eyes caressed me with such intimacy, such longing, that my breath left me and my hands shook.

"What are you doing here, Derek?" I worried that someone would see him and report him. He could be in danger here. And why would he bring this rose to the property of his enemy?

He fell to his knee and pulled out a small box. "Rose, I've been an ass. A complete and utter fool. I'm so sorry I said what I did, and that I ignored you for so long. I wanted to forget you. I wanted my life to be simple again—at least I thought I did. But, I was wrong. My life isn't complete without you. I need you, Rose."

He popped open the box and revealed the most beautiful diamond ring I'd ever seen—a large princess cut diamond, with sapphires at each side, mounted in an antique white gold setting.

My jaw dropped and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

He reached for my left hand and slid off my glove. When our skin touched, a shiver of electricity raced up my arm.

Thoughts of my impending date with Blake faded into nothing, and Derek filled my world. His beautiful wolf-like eyes begging for forgiveness, his broad shoulders and chiseled features that my hands ached to explore, his gentle touch and the way his voice rolled over me like a warm breeze. I wanted it all, wanted a life with him and a future with him.

He slipped the ring onto my finger. "Rose Wintersong, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?"

My knees buckled and he stood to catch me, his arms wrapping around my waist, his hands spanning the length of my lower back. I didn't know what to say, what to do. Five minutes ago, I'd been nursing a broken heart and contemplating how I'd ever move on without him, and now he was proposing marriage? This was insane. I should've pulled away, given him his ring back and told him no.

I should have told him that he didn't get to play with my heartstrings that way, that I didn't deserve to be emotionally yanked around like a yo-yo. But when I looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity and need, and when I considered how hard this all must have been for him, to be with the woman who'd essentially killed his brother, my heart cracked open.

I'd known all along he was the only one for me. My attraction to Blake had never felt real or substantial. The lure of being with someone immune to my powers was strong, but wasn't the foundation for love that I needed.

Still, Derek and I had a lot to sort out, not the least of which was the fact that he
wasn't
immune to my powers.

Destiny seemed intent on screwing with my heart.

Before I could object, before I could offer the voice of reason and point out all the obstacles still in the way of our happily ever after, he silenced me with his lips, and I melted into him.

His kiss deepened and he tugged at my lower lip with his teeth, a wolfish growl forming in the base of his throat as I moaned at his touch. Nothing else mattered in that moment. All of my objections faded in the light of this love, this passion, this all-consuming joy that surrounded me when we were together.

I'd missed him so deeply, so entirely, that it had felt as if a part of me had been torn out. Now, with him, my soul repaired itself, and I could breathe fully again. I could hope and love and live.

He pressed his head against my forehead, his hand cupping my head, as he spoke. "Rose. God, I've missed you so much. Can you forgive me? Will you be with me? I know we have other things to work through, and I know your power scares you, but I have some ideas. It's not hopeless. First, just tell me we can be together forever, because if I ever have to live another day without you, I won't survive it."

With those words, the last of my resistance melted and I nodded as tears fell down my face. "Yes. I'll marry you. I don't know when or how this will work, but I can't be without you. I tried. When you broke up with me, I tried to move on, but all I could think about was you."

I thought of the night before, with Blake, and wondered if I should tell him. "Last night, I was so broken, so sad. And I did something—"

He covered my lips with his finger. "Shh. Nothing matters now. We're together. Whatever you did, whoever you were with, it doesn't matter. It was my fault for ever letting you go, but don't tell me more, because my fault or not, I'd have to kill anyone who touched you, and that probably wouldn't be a great way to celebrate our engagement."

The weight of my perceived sins lifted from my chest at his words, but I wondered if he too had his own confessions. "Did you…?"

He swiped a tear from my eyes. "Oh, Rose. I tried. I wanted to forget you, but I couldn't. I stopped before anything happened and got home in time to avoid the storm."

We'd both tasted the forbidden fruit of another and found it wanting. Even Blake, as delicious as he'd been last night, left a bitter taste in my mouth by morning. Nothing could be as sweet as my love for Derek.

It hardly seemed real that I went from prepping for a date with one man to being engaged to another. I pulled Derek indoors, realizing that we'd been standing on the porch making out for all the coven to see, like total idiots.

"I can't believe you came here like this. Aren't you scared someone will see you?"

He didn't let go of my hand as I led him into the cottage. "All that mattered was seeing you and making things right. Also, I have a lot to tell you."

Ocean joined us in the living room as we snuggled on the couch.

She raised an eyebrow. "I heard everything, but I figured I'd be discreet so as to give you your space." She flopped on the chair across from us. "Now, we shall figure out the details. First," she looked at Derek, "let me be very clear about this. If you hurt Rose again, for any reason at all, I will destroy you. Second, you're not the only fish in the sea. She's a catch, and you don't get to treat her like you're doing her a favor by being with her. Plenty of men would gladly take your place in a heartbeat, and I'll make sure they're lined up at the door with gifts if you so much as make her cry again, are we clear?"

He squeezed my hand. "Very. You don't have to worry. I'll never do anything to hurt her. I've learned my lesson."

Ocean smiled, then threw herself at us both and hugged us. "Excellent. Then congratulations! Oh, my God! I get to be the maid of honor, right? Right?"

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "Um, sure, of course. But I haven't even thought of the wedding. We have a few things to sort out, first. Don't you think?"

She peeled herself off of us and sat back in her own chair. "Right. Okay, so Derek, you said you might have a way to help Rose. Let's hear it."

Derek told us about the visions he'd received from Dean. My heart constricted at the knowledge that I'd sent him to demon plane to be tortured.

"You said he saw another girl there?"

"Yes."

"Did he say her name?" It couldn't be.

"No, he didn't. I don't think he knew."

Ocean gasped. "You don't think?"

"I do. Could she have been trapped there since we were children?" Oh, God, did I send a six-year-old to hell? Is that what my powers did? That was worse than killing someone. So much worse!

Pain, grief and guilt gripped my gut and clenched tight. I bent over in agony, fighting the sobs that threatened to destroy me. I was a monster. A horrible, evil, vile monster.

Derek held me, even as I tried to push him away.

"How can you touch me, knowing what I've done?"

Ocean moved to my other side, holding my hand and stroking my hair. "It wasn't your fault, honey. You didn't know. Your mom set you up."

The knife in my gut stabbed deeper, when that part of the story sunk in. My own mother had set us all up. The Druids had never attacked, never hurt us. "Oh, God. Oh, my God. The puppies."

I ran to the bathroom and vomited up everything in my stomach. Then I dry heaved until it hurt so bad I couldn't move. I lay with my head against the cool porcelain of the toilet and realized that Derek had joined me and was holding my hair off my face and rubbing a wet wash cloth on the back of my neck. Ocean stood at the door crying.

I wiped my mouth with toilet paper and leaned against Derek's chest. "She killed the puppies. How could she kill our puppies? And your cabin? Sandy? Was she responsible for that, too? What kind of evil bitch raised me?"

Ocean left the bathroom and I heard her rummaging through the closets. "We're getting out of here. We aren't staying on this property another minute. Agreed?"

I nodded.

Derek added cold water to the cloth and wiped my face gently. "You can both come live with us, but first, there's a place I want to take you. My dad knows some people who might be able to help you control your powers. We can all go there now, if you're willing."

Hope, once again, peeked its head through my tragedy. "And if I learn to control it, I can save Dean and that girl? Are you sure?"

He kissed the worry line between my eyebrows, his lips tender. "That's what Dean said, and I believe him."

Ocean came back in with a glass of water. "Drink this, brush your teeth, and let's get the hell out of here."

The cold water soothed my sore throat as I emptied the glass and handed it back to her. "What do we do about Jasmine? We can't just leave my little sister here, no matter how bitchy she's been."

"I'll go find her." Ocean turned to Derek. "You help her pack. I'll follow you two in my car when we leave. Jasmine can ride with me. Are you sure your family will let us stay with them?"

"Yes. But to set your mind at ease, I'll call them right now."

Holding me with one arm, he used his free hand to pull his phone out. "Dad, hi. Yes, we're going tonight. Yes, she said yes. Thank you. Yes, I will. Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

Derek explained the situation and then hung up. "You're all welcome. My mother and sister are prepping rooms for you as we speak, and my dad says welcome to the family."

Family. I was his family, or I would be. Despite the horror of what I'd just discovered, a lot of hope lingered there. I could free the souls I'd trapped, and I could learn to control my powers, and I could even spend the life with the man I loved and his amazing family.

Even in my darkest hour, light still found a way in.