Seeing Julia (34 page)

“You’re killin’ me. I’m going out with him, just to get away from you.”

“Sure.” She grins. “Just remember who loves you best.”

“Uh-huh, well, if my people would quit dying on me, you wouldn’t be at the top of that list.” I smile as I say this and Kimberley just laughs as she bounds out of my room.

There’s something going on with me in L.A. I feel life slowly coming back into me.

≈ ≈

Brian and I go see the movie,
The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
, with Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner. He finds our seats and the theater is fairly deserted, he excuses himself and returns with buttered popcorn, diet sodas and plenty of napkins. The movie is sweet; it’s about a guy and girl who grew up together, grew apart, and find each other at the end.

Brian’s holding my hand and I’m thinking of Jake. I’m supposed to be cutting all ties to the past and here I am thinking of a guy I kissed for the first time, almost twelve years ago.

≈ ≈

Back at Brian’s apartment, I’m thinking I probably shouldn’t have gone out with him. I’ve just learned too much about the ties and connections in my life to be sitting here listening to Phil Collins as he sings one of my favorite songs,
Against All Odds
, and of course, I’m thinking of Jake again, even as Brian kisses me. I’m on autopilot when he’s stroking my back and my body responds and his hand explores what’s underneath my silky blouse and this feeling is so good. I want normal. I want to be with a nice police officer, who says he hasn’t stopped thinking about me, since ten days before, when he found me on the side of the highway, lost and out of sorts, as he put it. And I still like him when we’re falling back onto his sofa and I’m ready to do this.
Aren’t I?

But then, I’m calling him Jake instead of Brian and promptly burst into tears and the nice police officer tries to comfort me, while I just cry and that seems to be where we pretty much started ten days before; and, when the date ends.

I tell him at least five times as he drives me back to my place that I’m sorry and I think he’s really beginning to believe me or thinks I’m crazy which I probably am. He’s a nice guy and tells me he’s just glad I’m okay. I kiss him on the cheek goodbye. And that’s the end of Julia’s “revenge sex against Evan” date, which really seems to be revenge sex against myself involving no sex whatsoever. A normal date that managed to hurt Brian’s feelings, upset me, and remind me of Jake.

Where’s the plan?
I’m supposed to be moving on from the connections to my past, which appears to be, namely, Jake, at this point, since everyone else is dead.

The new Julia is feeling a little bit undone, a little bit put out and it doesn’t bode well for Kimberley, when I walk through the door at one in the morning and she’s still up.

“I know what the complication is,” Kimberley says. I see her astonished look at my tear-streaked face as she starts to form a question.

I say as softly as I’ve ever said anything, “Fucking save it; I don’t want to talk about it.”

“His parents are about to lose the ranch. His dad got into some REIT fund about three years ago, invested all of his royalties from his books, and lost it all in late 2008 like so many with those kinds of investments. It looks like Jake tried to help him out, but all Jake’s money is tied up with a property in Telluride, Colorado that he paid twelve million for and is underwater because of the housing downturn. It looks like he’s trying to short sale it. It appears he bought the house in Telluride on Evan’s behalf. Do you know
anything
about this?”

“No.”

“So, his parents are about to lose their house, but there’s this saving grace because the Bennett’s own about half the town and Savannah’s father is the president of the bank that owns the Winston’s ranch.”

“Jesus Christ! This is like a God damn western cowboy movie out of the seventies. Who
lives
this way? How much do they owe?”

“Ten million.”

“These are all very solvable problems, Kimmy.”

“Not to people who don’t have money to throw around or give away.” She makes a face.

“All right. Let’s just take care of it all. It’s not hard. It’s a couple of phone calls and money transfers. But I want it anonymous. I’ll take care of it, but I don’t want Jake to know.”

“What is your
problem
? How did things go with the nice officer Grant?”

“I pretty much ruined his night, when I called out someone else’s name when we were progressing to something beyond kissing.”

“Whose name?”

“I shouldn’t have even said anything.” I stomp up the stairs and she races up them behind me, while I strip off my clothes as I go. I turn on the shower and step in and slide down the wall and let the continual stream of water fall over me and don’t say or feel anything more.

≈
≈*

“Only if we run it on both coasts. Mix it up a little bit, but keep it small because I think the boutique approach works best. And pick our clients: no bankers except for Christian, no lawyers except for Jake, and no doctors except for Brad. It’d be fun to focus on high tech. Those guys don’t seem to be so uptight. Well, manageable if uptight anyway. I’d like to expand it, too, in terms of specialties and look beyond the executive positioning stuff, get into product and company strategies, and more crisis management. Because let’s face it; a crisis is where we’re superstars.” She shakes her head. “We’re actually great at them, but we leave that money on the table, all the time, and leave it to others to handle.”

“Well, only if you put some thought into it,” I say with a laugh. “When should we start?”

Kimberley grins over at me and says, “I thought we just did.”

≈ ≈

Later that afternoon, I watch a father and son at the beach fly a kite. I settle down into the sand and sip from a bottle of water and just watch. They attempt numerous tries with their kite. The father holds it up in the air and the little boy takes off running and it falls to ground again. But they keep trying.

My dad and I used to fly kites. “The key is the tail, Julia. That’s what controls the kite’s direction and allows it to fly. The tail makes all the difference.” I remember asking him what the string was for. “It anchors it down so it doesn’t fly away. See? But it’s the tail that keeps it flying, instead of crashing into the ground.” I remember looking at my dad and asking if he was the kite or the tail and what was mom. He told me mom was, most definitely, the kite and he was the tail. I always wanted to be the tail, be like him, but I realize that I’m much more like my mother, with the colors, even the dramatic flair, and the desire to fly. No wonder I was spinning out of control, I haven’t had a tail, since Bobby.

I walk over to the father and son and help them fashion a new tail for their kite. Within a few minutes, the kite soars high overhead. And, we watch its perfect flight.

A kite with a tail is added to the plan. And, I tell Kimmy it’s time to go home.

≈ ≈

So on the thirtieth day, Mommy came home.

Kimberley barely stops the car as she drops me off, so intent is she on meeting up with Brad at his place in East Hampton. “I’m ten minutes away, at the most,” she says.

“Nice. Tell Brad hi. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, which considering my love status is very very sad for you.” I laugh, while she gets an all-knowing smile that conveys that celibacy may no longer be a part of her plan. “And, thanks.”

“For what? Having a fabulous time in L.A. and getting a tan?” Kimberley’s still wearing her sun hat all the way from L.A. to show Brad, personally and up close. “Get some rest. I’ll see you soon.”

I walk through the front entry calling Reid’s name and he runs at me, saying, “Momma, Momma.”

Not forgotten at all.

“I told you he missed you,” Stephanie says from the great room. “See Reid? Mommy’s home.” I go over to Steph and hug her for a long time.

“I can’t ever repay you for taking care of him, both you and Christian,” I say.

“Julia, taking care of him was a privilege. He’s so wonderful, just like you.” Steph starts crying first, then, I do, for a long time because the new Julia doesn’t hold in her feelings anymore. When Christian arrives, I tell them everything that transpired with Savannah Bennett and Evan. I’ve had thirty days to deal with it, so I give them some time to process it.

“Jake doesn’t know about Savannah. I told him I had some things to work out because I discovered Evan had an affair, but I didn’t tell him who it was,” I say.

“Don’t you think you should?” Stephanie asks.

“As I told Kimberley, I don’t want to be the one to deliver the news of a double betrayal of his fiancée and his best friend. He’s going to have to figure out what he wants in his life for himself. I don’t want any ties to Evan, beyond the two of you, Kimberley and Brad, and for Reid’s sake, Evan’s parents, periodically. That’s it. I’m moving on.” I run my hand along the horizon in my permanently adopted Blackjack
stand down
move. “Done.”

“I’m just so sorry,” Christian says. “I knew Evan was … I knew he was despondent over Elizabeth; I just didn’t realize what he’d done to you. I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m not sure I know what to say, either. I mean I know this stuff happens, I just didn’t think it would happen to me. I wanted a marriage, a family. I thought he did, too.” I look away and stare out the large window at the swells of the Atlantic. Gentle today. “Anyway, I’ve made some decisions. Reid is my priority. As for Hamilton equities, it’s time to let it go. I have a list of where I want the money to go.”

“Julia, are you sure?” Christian asks.

I look over at him. “That is one thing I am definitely sure of. Kimberley and I have put together a plan.” I provide a basic outline of how I want to sell assets, dissolve Hamilton Equities, and give away most of the money to important causes. Then, I share with them a little about what Kimberley and I did in L.A. in terms of beach, fun, and sun. “It’s not as cold anymore in L.A., Steph. It was nice, freeing. I bought a kite.” They both look at me in surprise.

“What?” I ask and smile at them. I share the father and son kite story with them and they’re still looking at me in this kind of wonder.

For a while, we share in necessary silence. I look over at Christian and know he’s still upset about everything I’ve told him and Steph tonight.