Seek Me With All Your Heart (32 page)

During several of their walks, David explained his plans for the schoolhouse. Though Mr. Becker had left him detailed instructions, David had made some changes, even adding a smal storage room where the children could store their books, lunch pails, and winter clothing. He was excited about erecting a fine schoolhouse, and Emily was just excited in general—about a future fil ed with hope and a sense of peace . . . hopeful y as David’s
fraa
.

Emily closed her Bible when her father nodded his head to indicate that devotion time was over. Betsy asked to be excused to her room, and Emily suspected that her younger sister wanted to bury her head in a book for a while before bath time.

It was so much quieter without Jacob around. Emily missed his fun-loving ways, but she could see how happy her brother and new sister-in-law were.

Levi was stil sulky and withdrawn, and tonight was no different.

“I don’t think your boyfriend ordered enough lumber.” Levi kicked his rocking chair into motion and folded his arms across his chest. Emily glanced his way from the other rocker, as did their parents from their place on the couch. “I reckon he probably don’t know what he’s doing.”

“Mr. Becker ordered the lumber,” Emily said as she cut her eyes at her brother. “And I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

Levi grunted and rol ed his eyes. Emily waited for one of her parents to say something, but when no one did, she considered speaking up. She was tired of walking on tiptoes for fear of upsetting Levi about whatever it was that ailed him. Levi had never been as talkative and friendly as Jacob, but Emily could recal a time when he was pleasant to be around. Emily figured that Levi was stil unhappy about the move from Middlefield.

Mamm
stood from the couch and yawned.“Coming, Elam?”

“Ya, ya.” Daed
stretched his arms as he stood, and a few minutes later both her parents were upstairs and out of earshot.

“Why don’t you like him?” Emily stopped rocking and turned to face Levi.

Levi got up from the rocker he was in, then shuffled across the floor and plopped on the couch. “I never said I didn’t like him.” He reached for a gardening magazine that was on the coffee table, something Emily had recently picked up in town. Levi flipped nervously through the pages. She was sure the magazine didn’t interest him. She’d only bought it because there was an article inside detailing how to grow the best watermelons in a difficult climate.

“He’s a wonderful man, Levi. Maybe if you would just get to know him
.
.
. but al you ever do is avoid him. He tries to be nice to you, Levi.” Emily crossed one leg over the other and shook her head. “But you are always very rude to him.”

Levi shrugged and kept turning the pages.

“I like him, Levi. I like him a lot, and I wish that you could—”

Levi threw the magazine on the table. “
Ya
, wel , you liked James, too, didn’t you?”

Emily grabbed her chest as tears instantly wel ed in her eyes. “Don’t compare them,” she whispered as she lowered her head. Then she looked up at her brother, whose brows were drawn into a frown. “That’s mean of you, Levi.”

Levi bolted from the couch, then marched across the den. But before he got to the stairs, he stopped. He didn’t turn around to face her, and he whispered something Emily didn’t understand.

“What?” she asked.

“It’s my fault.”

“What’s your fault?” Emily uncrossed her legs and stood from the chair. “What are you talking about?”

Levi slowly turned around and faced Emily, and she was shocked to see his eyes fil ed with tears. “I knew you were with James.” He took a deep breath.

“I knew he was the one who hurt you that night, and I didn’t speak up.”

Emily eased closer to her brother. “Levi, I didn’t speak up either. I don’t fault you for not tel ing. I probably would have been very upset with you if you had told. I needed to come to terms with everything in my own time.”

“We hung out together, a group of us.” Levi paused as a tear rol ed down his cheek. “Emily, I didn’t know he was like that. He asked about you, and I told him what a great girl you were.”

Emily smiled. “You did?”

“
Ya
. Stop smiling. Don’t you see?”

She supposed she didn’t. It warmed her heart that Levi would tel someone she was a great girl. She was letting that soak in for a moment. Then she shook her head. “I guess I don’t see.”

“I told him you’d go out with him. I should have seen through him, seen what kind of person he was, and told him to stay away from my sister. The whole thing is my fault, and I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt you. I failed you! I failed God!” Levi’s voice rose, then quickly fel in volume as he glanced upstairs. “It’s al my fault, and I can’t live with it.”

Emily walked closer to her brother, then threw her arms around him. To her surprise, he buried his head on her shoulder. “Levi. My dear, sweet Levi.

This is not your fault.”

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you again, Emily. I don’t want anyone around you. I don’t want you to date anyone, or—”

“Levi.” Emily eased him away. “I love you,
mei bruder
.” She waited for his eyes to meet hers. “But what happened with James was not your fault. I had been waiting for James to ask me out for months. I was smitten with him for a long time.” She paused. “Levi, you need to talk to Bishop Esh about this. He wil help you to realize that this was not your fault. Levi, you know that everything that happens is by the wil of God.”

Emily heard herself say the words, and she realized she meant them. Despite everything that had happened to her, she was exactly where she was supposed to be, according to God’s plan.

“I wish I could make it up to you.” Levi stepped back, wiped his nose, and looked away from her.

“There’s nothing that you have to make up to me, Levi.” She stepped closer. “But
.
.
.” She smiled as she waited for him to lock eyes with her. “It would make me very happy if you would get to know David. You wil trust him the way I do, Levi. He’s a
gut
man.”

Levi ran a hand through his hair and stared at the floor. He lifted his eyes to her. “I’m sorry, Emily. I don’t know if I can do that.”

Then he headed up the stairs.

“Please, Levi,” she said as he padded up the stairs.

But her brother kept going and didn’t turn around.

WHEN SATURDAY ROLLED around, David counted thirty-six people on hand to help with the schoolhouse, and for his smal community, that was a big success.

His
community.

He smiled at the thought. To his surprise, Canaan had turned out to be his Promised Land, just the way his father said it would. He worked hard at the furniture store, on the farmhouse, and preparing the land for the first harvest. But hardly anyone here knew about his past medical problems, so no one worried about his abilities, which he found freeing. Wel , then there was Lil ian. Every now and then she would ask him if he’d taken on too much. But David was sure that the heavy load kept both his body and mind healthy.

Free time was scarce, but the little he had was spent with Emily. His heart swel ed with feelings he’d never had before. She made him feel whole. Emily saw him as strong, protective, and wise—al the things a man wants to be in the eyes of the woman he loves. If she only knew how the sight of her made him weak in the knees sometimes.

He glanced around to make sure everyone had a job. His father and Emily’s father were busy nailing down the flooring, and Jacob and several other men were working to frame the perimeter. Even the young boys, no older than Anna and Elizabeth, were busy helping—standing nearby with bags of nails, fetching requested supplies, and making sure the horses were given an occasional drink of water. The women kept a steady supply of tea and snacks coming.

“You haven’t eaten anything.” David turned to see Emily, a pretzel in her hand.

“Danki.”
He took the snack, but what he real y wanted was to pul her into his arms and kiss her. Her cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink, as if she could read his mind, then she walked away, but she turned around once and smiled.

She’d only been gone a few seconds when Levi approached. David tensed. Levi would most likely criticize his efforts.

“What would you like for me to do?” Levi looped his thumbs under his suspenders.

The only thing left to do was to unload the rest of the wood from the trailer that had arrived earlier that morning. “I need help unloading that trailer.” David nodded to his right.

“
Ya
, al right.” Levi waited for David to take the lead, which he did. As they walked side by side, Levi kept turning briefly to face David, but then he would look away.

“Something on your mind?” David final y asked, not sure if he wanted to hear what it was.

When they reached the trailer, both men stopped. Levi faced David, folding his arms across his chest. “I love Emily. I wil do anything to protect her.”

Under any other circumstances, he would have found Levi’s comment to be completely out of place. “I love her too,” he final y said, keeping his eyes locked with Levi’s. “And I wil never hurt her.”

Levi took a deep breath, then slowly extended his hand to David. “See that you don’t.” His voice was firm, but a smile tipped at the corner of Levi’s mouth. David felt relief that things were changing between them.

EMILY BASKED IN the feel of David’s arms around her the next morning at the bus station. He told her how proud of her he was and then kissed her on the forehead—right in front of her parents. He assured her that he would be there to pick her up when she returned, and she prayed that his words, along with God, would get her through the next few days.

Emily was fil ed with hope for the future and fear over the present. She would be face-to-face with James in a big courtroom the fol owing day. She liked the attorney her parents had hired, and she knew her parents would be there with her, but she honestly wasn’t sure how she was going to get through it.

“Everything is going to be okay, Emily,” David whispered in her ear as he eased out of the hug. “And I’l be here waiting for you when you get back in a week.”

She forced a smile, sad to be leaving him, and unhappy about her destination, but she knew it was the right thing to do. The lawyer had talked to her parents about what would happen in court. A bunch of legal talk that Emily didn’t understand. But her parents explained that James had admitted he had hurt her, so the case would go before a judge, not a jury. Either way, Emily had forgiven him a long time ago, and even though it had been hard to accept what happened as God’s wil , with each day it became easier.

Emily glanced at her parents who were standing far enough away not to hear their conversation. “I’l miss you.”

David pul ed her into another hug. “I’l miss you too.” He eased away and cupped her cheek. “Wanna know why?”

Emily waited, her heart fluttering.

“Because I love you.” Then David kissed her tenderly on the lips, and under any other circumstances, Emily would have pul ed back, knowing her parents—especial y her father— were nearby. But instead she kissed him back.

“I love you too, David.”

A sil y grin fil ed David’s face. “I have a big surprise for you when you get back.”

Emily gasped. “Tel me!”

“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise, sil y.” He gazed into her eyes, and Emily could feel how much he loved her. “I hope knowing that wil give you something to look forward to when you get home.”

Emily heard her father cal ing her name. “I have to go.”

She backed away from him, and knew she would count the hours until she was back in his arms.

EMILY HAD NEVER been on a bus, and the ride was over twenty hours—too long. She didn’t care if she ever traveled again. She just wanted to get back home—to Canaan. To the place where she planned to spend the rest of her life. Her Promised Land, where new beginnings were blessed by God.

When they arrived at the hotel, Emily was sure her accommodations would be the only neat thing about the trip. She had her own room with a television, alarm clock, beautiful big bed, and roomy bathroom. She wouldn’t have to worry about Levi using al the hot water before she bathed. But the fancy hotel room could only distract her for a short time.

She heard a knock on the door and opened it.

“Do you like the room?”
Mamm
walked in. “It’s much like our room.”

“
Ya
. It’s very nice.” Emily walked to the bed and sat down. Her mother took a seat beside her.

Mamm
grinned. “Don’t get used to it.”

Emily forced a smile.

“Emily, the lawyer
Daed
hired cal ed us awhile ago.”

Emily’s stomach churned, and she wished she could just run out of the room and catch a bus back home, no matter how long the ride. She waited for her mother to go on.

“James has made a ful confession, but you’re stil going to have to briefly tel what happened to you so that the judge can decide on his punishment.”

Mamm
took a deep breath. “Emily, what he did to you was such a bad thing, but we need to pray for his family. They are shamed beyond anything we can imagine, and they wil be in the courtroom tomorrow as wel . His lawyer wil be asking that he not go to a regular jail, but instead go to a place where he can get help with this rage he has. What he did to you was terrible, and we don’t want him doing this to anyone else.”
Mamm
twisted to face her. “Mr.

Webster, the lawyer, said that the judge wil most likely ask you how you feel about having James not go to jail, but go somewhere else to get help. So I know we’ve discussed some of this before, but I want you to pray about this. And pray for James and his family.”

“I wil .” Emily had already forgiven James, and she couldn’t imagine what his family must be going through.

Mamm
patted her on the leg. “Al right. I’m going to go to bed. You should probably do the same.” She smiled. “Don’t spend too long soaking in that big bathtub.”