Sex and Your Job Search 2013: A Guide to Scoring Your Dream Job (23 page)

The benefit of talking about volunteer work is that an employer will see how responsible you were while
not
getting paid and conclude that you would be even more diligent when you have a monetary reward. In addition, they may remember you as the “Habitat volunteer person who knew our mission” after the interview. Exactly what you wanted!

Quick Tip:
Seriously, if you’re about to interview, volunteer somewhere, even if it is only for a few hours. It looks like you are a great person, you like other people, and ultimately are doing some good in this world. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I had to say it again. It’s one of the easiest resume boosters, will most likely boost your mood because you did something for others, and it’s a day you will never forget.

One Final Note:
Make sure to give an answer that balances what you can contribute to the organization and how they can benefit from your growth. Applicants occasionally answer this question with “I heard you pay for people’s MBAs and I really want to utilize that benefit” or “I hear you have good health insurance and I got tons of junk wrong with me right now.” No. Even though an unfathomable amount of people answer like this, no. Make it about
your potential employer
. Not about you.

A friend of mine was interviewing a guy for a sales job at a mall kiosk where he would have a lot of customer interaction. The guy was a little overqualified, but was really outgoing.

It was going well until he asked the following question: “Why do you want to work for our company?” The dude replied, “I really think this is a great growth opportunity, and if I can prove myself, I hope to move up in management. And it’s a great place to meet chicks. You know what I mean, man?”

WTH? The applicant tried to “bro up” to the male interviewer and wanted to connect so desperately that he verbalized every interviewer’s worst nightmare— that an employee will harass or embarrass customers.

Don’t try to be too cool. Keep it professional. It’s about helping the company succeed and doing it with the least amount of drama.

#4. You knew this one was coming. Here it is…

Interviewer:
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Mitch Hedberg (Comedian):
“Celebrating the fifth anniversary of you asking me this question.”

While Mitch Hedberg made jokes for a living, his observation about what to say in an interview was on target. He basically said, in his deadpan delivery, “I want to be here at this company and growing in my career in five years. So should you.”

Remember what I said about turning into a playa for the interview. Now is the time to sell. The person and company in front of you
has
to be, in your mind and at
that
time, the most important person in the world. And why wouldn’t they be, really? They’re giving you the time of day and opportunity to get intimate with them. You should be at least
mildly
interested in them, even if they are your third choice. Under no circumstances should you say that your dream job does not involve them in some way.

You would be surprised how many people answer this question the same way they would at a therapist’s office, after being asked about their life goals. “Your firm has a stellar reputation and healthcare is a really stable field, but I really want to open up my own small business in the near future.” WHAT?!? Or they say, “I really want to go to graduate school full-time next year.” Is you crazy? People say these things and then they expect us to
waste
our time interviewing them. If you don’t say that you want to grow professionally in your career at their company, prepare for a shortened interview and not to hear from them again. Plus, they’ll probably go vent to their colleagues about you.

The dating equivalent is this. Say you are out on a date with a blonde and the chemistry between you two is electric. You wouldn’t say, “Gosh, you know you are really hot. In fact, there are a lot of things I like about you. But I’d really love to date a redhead some day. Emma Stone (or Prince Harry if you’re into guys) is like my dream date.”

A male applicant, let’s call him Gilligan, who was a new college grad, applied for an insurance sales job and decided to wear khaki capris, boat shoes, no socks, and an untucked button-down shirt with no tie to an interview. He did wear a blue blazer. At least he got the suit jacket part right. In his interview, he told the interviewer that he hoped to go to graduate school in two to three years.

The interviewer told me that it generally takes a couple years to establish a client base and that hiring Gilligan would’ve wasted his company’s time. Needless to say, the boat captain didn’t get the job.

The correct answer would have been, “Well, I know that your company is over fifty years old with a mission of service to your clients. I would like to grow within your organization and ultimately be here for quite some time. Maybe even open my own office a number of years down the road or buy someone out who is retiring. That is, if I get the job.”

You never know what can happen at a company and what opportunities may present themselves. Yet, a few younger applicants (not the majority) come to interviews with the general attitude “I know ALL the things.” Please keep an open mind. There are many possibilities in life.

#5. And possibly the most famous
interview questions of all time…

“What is your greatest strength?”

“What is your greatest weakness?”

The idea behind the greatest strength question is to focus on one or two of the Seven Skills that best apply to the job you are interviewing for. Generally, a Technical skill should be mentioned along with one other skill. Give a brief summary of your mastery of these skills.

For example, “I’ve always observed people. Since I was young, I loved watching people at the airport. When I started my career as an HR assistant, I had no formal training on how to interview. So I read all I could on the different types of interviews, which led me to being selected to lead a new interview program for our fourteen-thousand-employee organization. I really don’t like to brag, but I’ve reduced turnover, increased retention, and improved Gallup scores in most of the departments where I interview. This has made our company much more profitable.”

With the greatest weakness question, focus on something you’ve done in the past to improve yourself and that is a valuable skill for the position to which you are applying. Or focus on how you’ve improved on organization and time management. If they ask what you want to improve on in the future, reference a skill that you always pay attention to staying current with. For example:

“At the beginning of my career, I wasn’t as organized as I needed to be. As my responsibility grew, I signed up for a Franklin Covey seminar on time management, which really helped. Now I teach a productivity and time-management class at my current employer.”

Or…

“In college I tended to be more of a perfectionist. Now that I am well into my career and I don’t have the free time I did back then, I’ve developed a system for double checking my work and organizing my time more efficiently.”

Some people say the “perfectionist” response is cliché. Sure, maybe it has been used a lot. But it has helped me get a job and a promotion, so maybe I’m partial to it. And I do like it when people use it in an interview, because I can use it as a springboard to a question about attention to detail. Which, after reading Chapter 8, you should have a brilliant story for.

PUSH-UP BRAS AND TIGHT SHIRTS:
PADDING YOUR RESUME AND WORK HISTORY

I have zero problem if a girl chooses to wear a push-up bra. Fantastic. Looks great. Also, many guys who were skinny growing up, myself included, will admit to working out hard for a few months, then smiling when our t-shirts start fitting a little tighter and accentuate our muscles. Instead of buying larger shirts right away, we convince ourselves that we should probably just “save money” and wear the ones we have.

Interviewers understand that you want to make yourself look good. You have to. It shows breadth and depth, which is essential.

However, what is unacceptable in an interview setting is straight-up padding and lying. You will be found out when the clothes come off... er, when the interview process moves forward.

You may be able to fool friends and family with what you do for a living. Or they may be suspicious that you are embellishing but won’t say anything. An interviewer will call you out on something if you give the slightest hint of providing misleading information. Someone can show their guilt by glancing down in a certain direction (I won’t say which one), straying from their normal cadence, increasing their pauses in a sentence, telling a vague story, or getting red in the face. It’s amazing to me how many people don’t realize that they turn red when they lie or are put on the spot. Trust me, no interviewer will say anything about their color change, as the applicant is telegraphing their emotions.

According to the Society for Human Resource Management, nearly 100% of all employers conduct some sort of a background check on new hires. If you lie and get caught, you’re done. There is no “forgiving and forgetting” and there are no do-overs.

Recently, there have been a number of CEOs, athletic coaches, and bankers who have been caught straight-up lying on their resumes about education and work achievements. With the amount of information available on the Internet and through reference checks, be truthful and upfront when presenting your qualifications to avoid potentially embarrassing situations.

“OH GOD, YES!”:
THE TRANSITION FROM SECOND TO THIRD BASE

Here’s the transition you’ll probably hear from an interviewer when going from Second to Third Base.

“Now, we’re going to switch gears a little bit and I’m going to ask you a different style of question. What I’m looking for is a specific situation that you’ve been in in the past, most likely an example from your past professional or educational experiences. Please outline your answer with a Beginning and what the situation was. Then move onto the Middle that includes what action you took. And finish up with the End, where you describe what the result was or how the situation turned out.”

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast.”
-Alexander Pope

I have liked this quote since I first heard it in my high school junior English class. Not so much because I immediately understood the meaning behind it, but because we were talking about breasts in class. I was young.

Now, reflecting on the true meaning of Pope’s words, my wish is that as the excitement of Third Base builds, you feel confident in your interviewing ability and preparation. You knew this next step was coming, because your answers were great so far. And neither you nor the interviewer has any reservations about moving forward. Congratulations, you’re ready to get to Third Base with the interviewer.

THIRD BASE (20–40 minutes)
GETTING INTIMATE: SATISFYING THE INTERVIEWER WITH STORIES OF PAST WORK AND EDUCATIONAL SUCCESSES

“Wine me, dine me… Hire me!”

I have a joke for you: “What are the sexiest animals on a farm?” Give up? “Brown chicken, brown cow.” Say the punch line quicker. “Bowchickawowow?!” Yup, it’s time to cue the music of Barry White or Al Green.

Rounding Third Base, things are heating up and getting more intimate. Now, it’s time to satisfy the interviewer with your Seven Interview Go-to Stories. At this point you want to provide the interviewer with specific examples of your educational and professional accomplishments, based on the Seven Universal Skills and Three Universal Values.

To be as prepared as possible, it’s vital to know what questions you may encounter and how successful candidates have answered those questions. We look at effective examples in the next chapter.