Sex, Marriage and Family in World Religions (93 page)

Traditionally the analogy between the relationship of sovereign and subject and that of husband and wife was carried further in the common saying that “a good minister will not serve two sovereigns, nor a good wife, two husbands.”

Before a man decided whether to join the official rank or not, he was quite free to make the choice, but once it was made the choice was final and irrevocable.

In the same way, traditionally, a girl before getting married was free to choose her husband, but after marriage her choice was made once and for all.

Traditionally, a marriage was a transference of a girl from the family of her parents to that of her husband. Before marriage she was the daughter of her parents; after it she became the wife of her husband. With this transformation she had new duties and obligations, and above all she had to be absolutely faithful to her husband.’ This faithfulness is called
zhen
or
jie
and was considered the most important virtue for a wife.

Traditionally, when a man joined the official ranks, he was in a sense “married” to the sovereign. He transferred himself from his own family to the royal family, which in this sense was but one of the many families. Before this transference he was the son of his parents, but after it he became the minister of the 446

sovereign. With this transformation he had new duties and new obligations, and above all he had to be absolutely loyal to the sovereign. This loyalty was called
zhong
and was considered the most important virtue of a minister.

When a man “married” himself to the royal family, he should devote himself completely to his new duties and obligations, just as, after marriage, a woman should devote herself completely to the management of the household of her husband. Such a change in a man’s status was called in olden times the “transformation of filial piety into loyalty to the sovereign.”

In traditional Chinese society
zhong
and
xiao
were considered the two major moral values in social relations. A loyal minister and a filial son both commanded universal respect. But this does not mean that
xiao
is not the basic moral principle underlying traditional Chinese society. In the transformation mentioned above a filial son does not cease to be a filial son. On the contrary, in his new circumstances, this is the only way in which he can continue to be a filial son. . . .

According to traditional Chinese social theory, of the five social relationships that between father and son is the first in importance but that between husband and wife is the first in origin. In the
Book of Changes
it is said: “Following the existence of Heaven and Earth there is the existence of all things. Following the existence of all things, there is the distinction of male and female. Following this distinction, there is the relationship between father and son. Following this, there is the relationship between sovereign and subjects.”59

Before the establishment of the relationship between husband and wife, “people only knew that there were mothers, but not that there were fathers.” In this situation men were the same as the beasts. The establishment of the relationship between husband and wife was the first step in the development of the distinction whereby men distinguish themselves from the beasts. . . .

The marriage of man and woman becoming husband and wife is the beginning of the family. Once there is the family, the marriage of its younger members is needed to continue its existence. In the continuance of one’s family one enjoys an immortality that is both biological and ideal. In this continuance one has both the remembrance of the past and the hope of the future.

An individual must die, but death is not necessarily the absolute end of his life. If he has descendants, they are actually portions of his body that are perpetuated. So he who has descendants does not actually die. He enjoys a biological immortality which is possible for all living creatures. This is a fact of nature, but it is only with the social organization of the family system that this fact is brought into bold relief.

With the social organization of the family system, one who has descendants enjoys not only a biological immortality through their bodies but also an ideal
Confucianism
447

immortality through their works and their memories. In their works one’s own work is continued, and in their memories one continues to be known in the world. Thus in the family system one is kept both from physical extinction and spiritual oblivion.

Traditionally, marriage was considered in this light. It is said in the
Record
of Ritual
that the purpose of marriage is “to secure the service of the ancestral temple for the past, and to secure the continuance of the family for the future.”60

Marriage provides a means for the transference of the life of the ancestors in the past to the children in the future. Traditionally, it was a great duty of a son to become a father. If he failed to do this, not only would his own life face extinction, but what is more important, the life of his ancestors, carried on by him, would also be terminated. So Mencius said: “There are three things (meaning many things) that are unfilial, and to have no posterity is the greatest of them.”61

In traditional Chinese society, to have a son or sons was the greatest blessing of human life and to have none the greatest curse. The proverb says: “If only one has a son, he should be satisfied with everything.” “To play with the grand-children” was considered the greatest happiness that an old man could have.

In traditional Chinese society, when a man had sons and grandsons, he could look on them as extensions of his own life. Hence in his old age he could regard his existence and that of his ancestors as already having been entrusted to others and so could await death calmly, without further care as to whether his soul after death would continue to exist or not. Why should he be anxious about an immortality that was extremely doubtful when he already had one that was assured?

Here we see the essential meaning of the practice of ancestor worship. In traditional Chinese society, the function of this practice was both social and spiritual. Socially it served as a means for achieving the solidarity of the family.

Since the traditional Chinese family was a very complex organization, its solidarity depended upon some symbol of unity, and the ancestors of the family were the natural symbol.

In traditional China, in places where the family system was carried out in strict accordance with the ideal pattern, the people of the same surname living in one place used to have a clan temple. The temple had its own land and income, which were considered the common property of the clan. The income of the temple was to be used for preparing sacrifices to the ancestors, for helping the widows, orphans, and needy of the clan to live, and also for offering schol-arships to the promising youth of the clan to study or take state examinations in the capital. Thus the temple functioned actually as a social work center for the clan.

448

In the practice of ancestor worship, according to the theory of the Chinese philosophers, the dead are called back by the living descendants, not as ghosts coming from a supernatural world, but as forms cherished in the minds of the descendants. This is the spiritual or emotional, personal side of the practice, as it comforts the individual and strengthens his morale, in addition to fostering the solidarity of society. . . .

Thus the filial piety taught by the ancient kings required that the eyes of the son should not forget the looks (of his parents), nor his ears their voices; and that he should retain the memory of their aims, likings, and wishes. As he gave full play to his love, they seemed to live again; and to his reverence, they seemed to stand out before him. So seeming to live and standing out, so unforgotten by him, how could sacrifices be without the accompaniment of reverence?

Thus in the practice of ancestor worship the departed, no matter whether they are good or bad, great or insignificant, become familiar once more in the living world. They are not in the world of oblivion but in the living memory of those who are actually the perpetuation of their own flesh and blood. He who practices the worship has the feeling that he will be known to his descendants in the same way also. In such circumstances, he feels that his life is one of the links in a series of an indefinite number of lives, and this fact is at once the insignificance and the significance of his living.

So, in theory there is nothing superstitious in the practice of ancestor worship as conceived by the Chinese philosophers. The fundamental idea of this practice, as they conceived it, is quite scientific. Westerners used to call the practice “religion.” I do not wish to argue about terms, especially about such an ambiguous term as religion. But I wish to point out that, if this practice can be called religion, it is one without dogma or supernaturalism. It takes life and death as biological facts. Yet the psychological effect is that a man is “saved” from the momentariness of his life and gains a genuine feeling of a life beyond. Through ancestor worship a man can have salvation without a God or divine savior.

[From
Ideological Differences and World Order: Studies in the Philosophy and
Science of the World’s Cultures,
ed. F. S. C. Northrop (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1949), pp. 18–34, modified with deletions]

1. The Rong were non-Chinese peoples living along the northern and western borders of the Chinese states at this time. Jin, situated on the northern border in the area of present-day Shanxi, was frequently troubled by incursions of the Rong. The Greater Rong used the Chinese surname Ji, claiming descent from Dangshu, the founder of the ruling family of Jin. The Li Rong, mentioned in the next sentence, also bore the surname Ji, and their ruler held the title of nan or baron.

2. Zisi was a grandson of Confucius.

3. Shun was a legendary predynastic sage ruler.

4. Mao 235.

Confucianism
449

5. Mao 195.

6. Mao 260.

7. Mao 191.

8. Mao 256.

9. Mao 152.

10. Mao 251.

11. Mao 244.

12. Mao 228.

13.
Shi jing
49 (Zhoushu, Junchen); cf. e.g., James Legge,
The Chinese Classics
(Oxford: Clarendon, 1893–95)
,
3:535.

14.
Yijing
hexagram 1; cf. Lynn,
Classic of Changes,
133.

15.
Shi jing,
Mao 13; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:333.

16.
Shi jing,
Mao 264; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:562.

17.
Shi jing,
Mao 39; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:63.

18.
Shi jing,
Mao 260; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:543.

19.
Shi jing,
Mao 249; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:482.

20. This story and most of the others cited here are from the
Lienu¨ zhuan
. See Albert R. O’Hara,
The Position of Woman in Early China According to the Lieh nu¨

chuan
(Washington, DC:. Catholic University of America, 1945).

21.
Shi jing,
Mao 254; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:500. The first quotation is not found in the
Book of Poetry.

22.
Shi jing,
Mao 260; cf. Legge,
The Chinese Classics,
4:542.

23.
Yijing
hexagram 61.

24. Lu¨zhu was a favored concubine of Shih Chong (d. 300). When the prince Sun Hsiu saw her, he wanted her; when he couldn’t get her easily, he arranged to have Shih executed. Lu¨zhu committed suicide rather than be taken. In the end Shih’s whole family, fifteen people in all, lost their lives.

25. According to the
Book of Mencius,
4A:19, Zengzi always served his father with wine and meat. If any was left, he would ask to whom it should be given. If his father asked if there was any more, he would always answer, “There is.” The point is that he always wanted to carry out his father’s will.

26.
Book of Changes,
text of hexagram no. 18,
gu
[trouble]. The lower trigram is
sun
[yielding], symbolic of obedience. Cf. James Legge, trans.,
Yi King,
in
The Sacred
Books of China: The Texts of Confucianism
(New York: Scriberner’s, 1899), p. 95.

27. According to the
Hou Han shu,
71:9a, someone asked Diwu Lun if he had any selfishness. He answered, “Once my brother’s son was sick. I got up ten times during the night to see him. Then I retired and slept peacefully. When my son was sick, although
I
did not get up to see him,
I
could not sleep at all during the night. Can this be called unselfishness?”

28.
Classic of Filial Piety,
chapter 9.

29. Both were Confucius’s pupils. See the
Analects,
5:1.

30. Assuming that the wet-nurse had only enough milk for her employer’s child and therefore neglected her own child.

31. The people of Zhangzhou were said to he much given to feuding.

32. Trading salt outside the salt monopoly was prohibited.

33. Although
mofa
sometimes refers to Manichaeanism, it is more likely that the term here means unorthodox, folk religion.

450

34. Refers to the
Classic of Changes,
“Providing the Sequence of the Hexagrams”

(“Xu gua”): “When there arc husband and wife, then there are parent and child. When there are parent and child, then there are ruler and minister
Zhouyi zhengyi (SBBY)
9:71.

35. Among patrilineal relatives those who were second cousins or closer had mourning obligations to each other. Among relatives of other surnames (through one’s mother, father’s sisters, and so on), only a much smaller circle were mourning relatives.