Shampoo (17 page)

Makes me ADORE her.

I actually finished on time today. Gotta
organize clothes for the opening!!

Friday 18 August 2000

7.30am

I’m pretty excited about the opening night
tonight. I wish Evvy was coming, but oh well.

I feel so happy, cause it just feels like Evvy
will become more loving, we’ll have something more real one day,
and I’m just so darn happy and hopeful about it.

Upset by Sher though yesterday. Going from we
used to have lunch every day together, to her having lunch with
Katie every day…it’s hurtful.

Then the other day, AGAIN

(I’m a sucker for punishment, I have to be
beaten down like a puppy to take a hint…and even then, I’ll still
get up, beaten and bloody, and go ‘you still love me,
right??’),

I asked her if we were going to do our magazine
day, LIKE WE’VE DONE EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR FOREVER, and she goes,
“I don’t know!”

What kind of rejection is ‘I don’t
know?’

(a hurtful one, that’s what)

If you’re gonna reject me, at least make it
good!!!! Make it spectacular!!!!

THEN yesterday, she pretended she would go to
lunch with me, then declared she couldn’t wait 20 minutes for me to
go on my lunch break, and went with Katie instead!!!

I was so hurt.

It was just sly and hurtful and
obvious.

She’s too busy on weekends with Katie now, to
go out with me on our fairy outings like we used to. She promised
she’d go clubbing with me when I was better, and none of that has
happened. And she bought Blink tickets with Katie after I bought
two fucking tickets for her and me!!!!

Saturday 19 August 2000

8.49am

Evvy just rang and woke me up!!!

I can’t believe it.

And though in principle it seems like an
amazing thing, him actually ringing me and waking me up on a
Saturday morning

(what a great way to wake up, to his
voice),

he was a bit weird and flat on the
phone.

I don’t know why he was really calling, cause
he said not much, and he was at Twin Waters for golf I
thought.

He did ask me what I was doing today, and I
replied househunting with Nat, then he got all weird after that,
the withdrawn Everard personality arrived, where he makes it known
with his tone of voice that he doesn’t care and he’s too busy for
this crap.

(even though he called me)

I asked him if he was going clubbing tonight,
cause Nat, Anita and I are thinking of going in, and he just
replied, “I don’t know.”

(Those damn 3 words again. Very annoying.
They’re not the 3 words I wanna hear from people)

He just didn’t seem very interested.

WHAT DID HE WANT THEN??????

God, analyzing men is so stressful. Why can’t
they just be open and honest??

I made damn sure I slipped into the stilted
conversation that Josh came last night in his place. He did not
seem happy about that!

SUCKED IN.

He knows he can have me, he’s choosing not to
be a real boyfriend, so he has no right to be jealous over
Josh!!

But, MAN, am I glad he is!!!

So now, with no plans made by him, it’ll be
another weekend before I see him.

Beth said if I truly want him, to go after
him.

Big of her, considering how much she hates
him.

Sunday 20 August 2000

6.22pm

Such a busy weekend (thank God). I’ve just
crawled into bed with bacon carbonara (from a packet) and a can of
Coke.

I haven’t even told you about Friday yet, and
opening night.

Well…I got no break again that day, and Nat and
I were the only suckers left till 5pm working upstairs, while
absolutely EVERYBODY ELSE got to be downstairs, outside,
‘pretending’ to set up, but were really just drinking.

(not sure why I quote marked the pretend and
not the set up)

Then it was suddenly five o’clock
and Renee came up to fetch us, putting on the answering machine and
saying, “Come on, girls!! It’s opening night!!!’, like we were
doing something wrong answering the damn phones
and taking orders and handling errors and
customer complaints.

Ugh!!

Then it was opening
night.

It wasn't as good as I was
expecting... I didn't even touch up my make-up before going
downstairs to it…

(okay, at 4.30pm I did)

Dan and Josh came, and I spent
most of the night talking to Josh. I got a bit tipsy, but not my
usual drunk. I felt a bit flat all night. Josh was VERY drunk, and
it was a little embarrassing actually.

Matt spent most of the night
hanging around me actually. He is adorable. He brought a date, and
I must admit, I was so jealous. She was like incredibly gorgeous.
And they got on so well. Laughing and joking together constantly.
Her name was

(past tense, cause I can't even
deal with her in a present tense kind of way)

Gemma.

(she so looked, and acted, like a
Gemma!! Why are Gemmas always hot?! It's like a hot name, and if a
parent names their child Gemma, she will grow into her name and her
hotness)

He made a point of telling me she
was just a friend. I made a BIG point of telling everyone Josh was
just a friend.

I walked upstairs at one point
early in the night, to check my lipstick and make up, and walked
right in on Dag (Daryl Agnew) getting done up as a drag
queen.

"No, you have to TUCK my balls
right under, just GRAB THEM and pull them between my ass
crack."

Sue Agnew was doing something to
Daryl Agnew I never wanted to see in my lifetime.

"Oh God!"

Sue started laughing madly from
between her husband's legs.

"Pinky," Dag said calmly in his
drag queen voice. His makeup was perfect and over the top, and he
had his prewig scalp cover on and gigantic false eyelashes. "How do
I look darling?"

"I think I've just gone blind." I
turned to flee, covering my eyes, and ran into the wall.

Sue was still laughing.

I mainly spent the
night

(once I recovered my
eyesight)

out in the car park area, where
tables of food and drink had been set up, and a little stage area
for speeches and Daryl Agnew's drag queen routine. I was very happy
just standing around, champagne in hand, chatting to everyone and
looking up at the stars.

God, the stars. Cause it's a new
industrial area, all the land has been cleared and we're like one
of just a handful of buildings in the area. And it's in the middle
of nowhere, the new building, way out near the Port of Brisbane and
the Gateway Bridge. So there's no buildings or lights, just plenty
of stars. I tend to get a bit melancholic when I see the stars like
that. I feel both joyous and weepy and sad at the same time. Like
there's a whole UNIVERSE out there I'm not seeing. That there's so
much I can do and BE. I don't know why the stars make me a bit
weepy and overwhelmed. But they do.

So Matt hung around me (with
Gemma), and Benny did too. Was fun. Benny and I can just muck
around and fool around and it's just fun.

And he is tall. Super, dooper
tall.

(I don’t know why I constantly
mention that. But I do)

When Daryl Agnew came out in his
corset and big freaking tail feather thing and big wig, Benny went,
“But where did his BALLS GO?”

(because, seriously, his corset
was so tight, Dag’s YOU KNOW area, seriously looked like a girl’s!
It’s like he had camel toe happening. It was a very relevant
question – where did his balls go?? – unfortunately I now knew the
answer. And wish I didn’t)

“
Oh, I SAW WHERE HIS
BALLS WENT,” I replied. We laughed madly.

Benny and I have got a bet going
actually, because I saw Aaron

(Benny’s best mate and he used to
work at Sin with us)

Friday morning as I drove in the
Metroplex's entrance, and I waved to him and he waved
back.

But BENNY reckons there's no way
it was Aaron. So bet is on!! Then he kept laughing at me tipsy, and
saying to Nat

(who was looking down on us all,
but most especially her boyfriend and Josh, because they really
were acting like idiots)

remember the
time
they couldn't get me off
the floor.

(that was at Dicey Riley's last
year that, funnily enough, I don't remember)

Anyway, that was about all that
happened.

Nowhere near as exciting as I was
expecting it to be. Usually Sin things are over the top and FUN. I
mean, yeah there was food and drink and speeches, and speeches with
the bosses wives all teary and joyous, and Daryl Agnew with his
balls strapped under him and wearing lingerie and stockings but
meh...

You've seen it once, you've seen
it all was my feeling.

The whole night just didn't have
the same fun it normally would have. It was a bit flat.

Those damn stars.

Nat made me leave early

(we left Dan and Josh there, who
were giggling like schoolgirls to each other, Josh holding a bottle
of champers, Dan a vodka bottle...those boys!!),

and we both ended up crying on the
way home! Too much alcohol. She's so unhappy all the time. I can't
figure out WHY.

So I came home and died.
Everything hurt, all my bones ached from the week at work. I was
physically exhausted.

So Evvy rang in the morning, then
straight after, Richie!! He’ll be home soon!!

Anyway, then Nat and Dan turned
up, and we went house hunting. It was fun; we found two great
houses. We put an application in for both. Oh, it's
exciting!!

Then I was at Dad's all arvo with
them. I got home about 4.30pm, then at 7pm Nat and Dan picked me up
and we went to Ribbett's.

God it was heaven on earth. So
yummy. I rang Evvy before going to Ribbetts, to see if he was going
clubbing, and he said he didn't know what he was doing, then I
asked him to come to Ribbetts, and he was all, "No." Just like
that. "No."

So I was feeling really
rejected.

Anita cancelled on us, and after
Ribbetts I wanted to go clubbing, but Nat and Dan wouldn't go! They
were being boring old fuddy duddies! So then I was upset, because
I've got no friends! No one to go clubbing with! No one to go out
with. It was just depressing.

So I just admitted defeat and went
back to Dad's and watched ‘Lethal Weapon 2’ with all of them, Dad,
Cruz, me, Nat and Dan spread across all the couches in the tiny
living room.

It was good to see Dad and
Cruz.

Anyway, so Dan drove me home
around 11, in one of his rare, quiet, non-happy, non-raring to go
moods.

(what is wrong with everybody this
weekend?? Or is it me?)

Today I got up early, thought
‘stuff the world and all my no friends,’ and drove down the coast.
What a great day it was! So refreshing. The beach so uplifts me.
Makes me feel everything is okay again.

I drove right down to Coolangatta,
and sunbaked on the beach. Was the most gorgeous day... blue sky
for an eternity, matched only by the blue ocean far as the eye
could see.

I looked around at the shops at
Coolangatta, stopped in to see Faye and Gordon where they're
staying, but they weren't in. Found a cool secondhand CD place,
where I picked up a Blink 182 sticker for my baby

(car, not Everard... "Here
Everard, have a sticker!!" SLAP!! Right on his stupid sexy
forehead),

then I headed to Pacific Fair. I
love Pac Fair. So 80's Surfers Paradise. Like the old Grundy's
Mall. So Surfers 80's. I love 80's Surfers Paradise SO MUCH!! So
much I could eat it! I can just about FEEL how incredible Surfers
Paradise was back in the 80's. Even better, the 60's! And the Pink
Poodle Motel!! So iconic.

I love the Gold Coast. Best place
in the world (I imagine).

Then I walked in the door at ten
to four, spewing, cause there was only 10 minutes of the game
left!!!