Shattered by Love (10 page)

I snap my gaze to hers and find the love and pain we’ve both lived with for all this time burning in those crystal orbs. My heart kicks in my chest with my mind telling me to pull her into my arms and hold on to her and never let her go. But the pain she’s made me live with, the secret she kept from me hurts too much. I know that if I touch her now, I could never tell her what I need to.

“Ivy, there were so many times over the time we spent apart that I stared at your number on my phone, wondering if I should hit the call button. I never could delete it. I could never wipe you from my life, and I could never expel you from my heart. We’re meant to be, soul mates. Pieces of a puzzle. Two halves of a whole. We have a child, he is a part of me, and I deserve to know him. My father left me, I will never do that to my son.”

Her lips purse in a grim line. She remembers when I told her he walked out; that I never wanted to do that if I had a child one day.

“I don’t know where we go from here, but I want to meet him. To hear his voice, see him smile.”

“Jayce, I don’t want to keep him from you, but I can’t—”

“Don’t. Not right now. I want to see my son.”

I turn towards the door, my hand on the knob. “And you don’t ever fucking lie to him about who I am. He will know me.” My words are hard, but I need to steel myself to the flood of emotion that’s coiling deep inside me. “What is his name?” When I face her, I see more tears fall down her cheeks.

“Benjamin.”

I gape at her in shock. “You gave him my middle name?” She nods, a small smile plays on her lips.

“He’s a lot like his dad.” The sadness in her gaze rips my heart in two. “I never wanted to—”

“But you fucking did. Now go out there, smile, and tell my son who I am.”

Her hand grasps my arm and a jolt of pure electricity shoots through me. “Before we even step outside that door, I want to make one thing clear, you will not, I repeat, will not walk out on him. If you are going to step up now, then you fucking do right by him.”

Without a second thought, I nod, because I will not turn into my father. Never. She swipes at her cheeks, drying the tears. She glances up and inhales a deep steady breath. I wrench the door open to find her friend, Bryce, and my son sitting at the fountain. They both glance at us.

“Ben, come here, baby?” She kneels bringing her eye level with him. He’s got my name. Fuck, this is too much. So fucking much.

“Yes, mom?” He walks up to her, holding a small plastic camera like it’s his lifeline.

“I have to introduce you to someone.” His bright eyes cut a quick glance at me and then fall back on her. “Remember I told you about your dad, and one day I want you to meet him?” He nods enthusiastically. “And when I told you he loves to take photos, just like you?” His head bobs and he smiles, it’s one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. The only other smile that can make my heart soar is Ivy’s. “Well…” She stalls and I don’t know why. I want to meet my son so badly; my heart is racing. “This here,” she points to me, “this is Jayce. He’s your daddy, Ben.”

Big blue eyes gaze up at me in wonder. He looks just like me. Love fills my heart, so much I am sure it’s about to explode.
Can you be shattered by love twice in one day?

Tears burn my eyes, but I blink them away, not wanting to cry in front of him. They say as soon as you have children you feel a love that’s incomparable to any other. I never understood it until this moment as my son looks at me like I am his hero.

“Hey buddy, do you want to come and say hi to me?” He nods, running toward me.

My arms open and he runs into them. “Hi.” The small voice fills my ears and nothing else matters. He seems unsure and I know it will take time for us to get comfortable with each other, but I intend to make sure he will know and accept me as his father.

The tears I tried holding back, spill and I can’t stop them. “Ben…” I whisper his name, burying my nose in his hair. My breathing is ragged as I take in his smell. It’s as if he’s just had pancakes and ice cream.

His tiny arms wrap around my neck and I lift him in my arms. Ivy’s gaze meets mine, and she smiles the same smile I fell in love with all those years ago. I hate her for hiding him, but I love her because she’s given me my life back, but for how long?

I
am rooted
to the spot, watching my son with his father is a sight I never thought I would live to witness. Bryce steps up behind me. “Baby girl, I am heading to my room. You both have a lot to discuss.” Glancing at my best friend, my eyes prick with tears and I nod.

“Thank you.”

“He loves you, give him time okay.” He gives me a small hug and leaves Jayce and I with Ben.

“So, buddy, do you want to go on an adventure? I hear there are really cool stores around here.”

“Yes, please. Mom only gets me boring stuff, I want a mask and cape, like Batman.” I can’t help giggling. They’re beautiful together. Jayce holds him close and they both look at me.

“Can we take him out?” The emotion in Jayce’s tone pulls at my heart and emotions assault me like a punch to the gut. The fact that he had to ask me if he could take his son out hurts. I shouldn’t have kept him a secret.

“Please mom?”

“Sure, monster, but let’s get cleaned up first.” As soon as Jayce let’s Ben down, he runs off to his Batman suitcase and waits for me, like I taught him.

“Give us a few minutes?”

“Ivy, we need to have a serious talk.” I nod. I couldn’t agree more, we should sort this out, but not here—close to my family—because this will be a long difficult conversation.

“I know. We can, there’s a park close by, we can go for a picnic.”

“Sounds good, I would like to spend time with you both. Meet here in twenty minutes.” With that, he turns and stalks towards the staircase. His tone is harsh, but I can’t be angry with him because finding out you missed out on five years of your son’s life can’t be easy. Even after all these years, looking at him is still my favorite thing to do. The man is exquisite, from his toned arms and torso, to his runners’ legs. Sexy, strong, and masculine in every way. Even the stubble on his chiseled jaw has my core aching.

Shaking my head to clear the dirty thoughts, I turn to Ben and hold out my hand. “Come on, monster, let’s get changed and then we can spend the day with Jayce.”

“Does he have a camera? Can he teach me?” Even at his young age, he has such a love for taking photos. I can’t stop my grin and words evade me as the tears threaten to spill, for the second time today.

I didn’t know Jayce would be here, and it came as a shock, nothing would have prepared me for this. When we reach the balcony, I glance across the courtyard and see the brunette from the photos I found online of Jayce standing with him. They look like they’re in a heated conversation and my stomach drops. When he gives her a hug it looks too familiar.

Jealousy heats my blood and my veins thrum with the need to stake my claim. He holds her as if he cares, the way he used to hold me. Maybe they’re just friends. I hope to God they are because I can’t lose him after we’ve just found each other again. Opening my bedroom door, I step aside and let Ben enter first and before it shuts, I glance back and notice Jayce walking into his room alone. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

Suddenly my sister’s words echo through my mind.
Sometimes you just need a little push in the right direction.
Did she know? Did she plan this? I wouldn’t put it past her.

“Mom, can I get pancakes?” A soft voice pulls me from my whirling thoughts and I turn to my little boy and nod.

“Sure, we can get Jayce to buy you one.”

“If he’s my dad, is he going home with us?” Ben is too intelligent for his own good sometimes. The question catches me off guard and I don’t know how to explain the situation to him. To tell him it’s complicated would just bring up more questions.

“I don’t know yet, baby. We will have to see.” He nods appeased with my answer for now. “Get out your jeans and t-shirt, let’s get you showered and changed.”

Fifteen minutes later, I am pulling on a halter-neck top and a pair of faded jean shorts. Studying my reflection, my eyes have a sparkle in them, and I’m not sure if it’s because I am about to clear the air with the man who holds my heart, or that I may have a second chance. Maybe I can make this right.

I can’t walk away from him this time because it’s not an option. I love him and I plan on telling him.

“Mom, can we go now?” Ben whines from the other side of the door. I can hear the cartoons blaring on the television.

“Be right there.” Tugging my hair into a messy bun, I dab on lip gloss and make my way back into the room to find Ben sitting on his bed with legs crossed staring at the TV. “Are you ready? Put your trainers on, monster.”

I slip my feet into my ballet flats and grab my purse. Once the television is turned off, we make our way to the fountain. It’s warm, and the air is heavy with the scent of flowers while they set up for the dinner this evening and staff rush around us.

“Baby sister.” I turn to find Lacey staring at me. “Hello Ben.” Her gaze falls to my son.

“Hi Aunt Lacey.” He offers a smile, but doesn’t go up to her.

“Have you seen him?” She questions, glancing up at me.

“Yes, was that your idea?” My tone is hard and I can’t believe she was the one who brought him here.

“It was. This needed to be handled, and you didn’t seem to want to do it, so I gave a little shove.”

“As usual, Lacey knows best.” She pins me with a steely glare.

“Ivy, he needed to know. There wasn’t a choice in the matter, also, he is the best photographer in Los Angeles, and you know how daddy always wants the best.”

“And does daddy know who the best is?” The look on her face tells me that my father has no idea that Jayce will be here. This wedding will be one hell of an eye opener for my parents.

It’s no secret it was my father’s fault that Jayce left me and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that my family may never speak to me again after this. Since I was disowned, only Lacey kept in touch. Not that I care.

The reason they pushed me aside is because I didn’t want daddy’s money or help. My parents don’t know about Ben either and if they want a chance to be grandparents to my son, then they will learn to accept that I will be with Jayce, no matter what they say.

“Look, Ivy, I spoke to him yesterday, he still loves you.” The lump in my throat makes it difficult to respond, so I nod. My sister really brought him here to get us back together. Maybe there was hope, if he still loved me, then we could work things out. I am sure we could.

Just then the brunette who I saw with Jayce walks up to my sister. “Lacey, can we get the fitting done and I can finish up any adjustments?”

“Sure. Kenna, this is my sister, Ivy.” Brown eyes grow wide as they take me in. Her smile falters, but there is recognition in her face. So she knows about me. Good. Because she is not getting Jayce, I offer my hand and a smile.

“Hi Kenna, nice to meet you.”

“Yes, likewise.”

“Kenna is designing my wedding dress, and your dress. She’s the best.”
Of course she is
.

“Great, I can’t wait to see it.”

“Hi.” Ben’s little voice from behind me startles us all. The tension in the air is thick when Kenna’s gaze settles on the mini version of Jayce, her face pales.
Yes, that’s our son.

“Hi there, little guy.” Her gaze darts between us in shock.

“This is Benjamin.” Giving her his full name, I quirk my mouth with a smirk. She’s clearly in shock, it’s written all over her face.

“It’s good to meet you both, but I need to get back.” Spinning on her heel, she leaves me with my sister.

“Well, that was interesting.” Lacey’s tone is amused, but there’s nothing funny about the fact that the man I love, and his… whatever she is, being in the same building all week.

“I have to go. We’re meeting him for a picnic.” I offer. She nods and leans in, stunning me with a hug.

“I hope you work it out, sister. You deserve love.” My mouth opens, but I can’t find the words to thank her. My sister has always been weary of Jayce, and this newfound love for the two of us is surprising. “Bye Ben, see you later.”

“Bye Auntie Lacey.”

The click of a door from the balcony catches my attention. When my gaze flits up, I find the love of my life staring down at me. He’s dressed in knee-length blue shorts, I can see his calves, they’re incredibly toned, and tanned. The tank top he’s wearing hugs his torso like a second skin, and I find myself licking my lips. I am turning into a brazen hussy, but I want him.

The ache that has been so long dormant in me awakens with a new fire. The heat between us is still there, thick, unyielding, and it leaves me breathless.

When he joins us downstairs, Ben runs up to him, showing him the racing cars I bought him for his birthday. “Do I call you dad?” The question leaves a heavy silence around us, and blue eyes pin me to the spot. I nod quickly, Jayce looks down at him and nods.

“Yes, buddy, you can call me dad and we’ll get to know each other really well.” The emotion is thick in his voice and it drags my heart from the depths of pain I held onto for so long. He lifts him up onto his hip. “You ready?”

“Yeah, Lace was just here, and Kenna.” As her name tumbles from my lips, I feel him stiffen. “Is she…?” I have no idea how to ask, or what to call her.
Do I want to know? Not really. But I do.

“She’s a friend, Ivy.” He hasn’t called me by my nickname, even though I understand he’s angry, I miss it. It would give me hope that we have a chance, but I guess I have to work at it. To get him to forgive me will be hard work, and I want it more than I thought I did.

He turns to Ben and winks. “What do you say we get chocolate covered waffles, or pancakes, and ice cream?” Big blue eyes light up and I can’t help smiling at the father and son. Ben clings to Jayce like a lifeline. I just hope that line is strong enough to withstand the storm that’s headed our way.