Shattered by Love (13 page)

T
he past few
days have been surreal, Jayce found out he has a son, Cole is getting married to someone else and here I am, making the dress I should be wearing. This is the week for secrets to be revealed.
What else will happen before the actual wedding?

Lacey just left, I have the final adjustments to do on her gown before the big day. Thoughts, memories, everything seems too much and I can’t stop the ache in my chest. The moment I laid eyes on Lacey when she walked into my office for our meeting, I knew that she isn’t who Cole would have chosen for his wife. She’s beautiful, yes, but too refined. Maybe he’s changed and his tastes are different to the man I remember.

“
M
iss Devereaux
, it’s good to meet you.” My smile is plastered on and I wonder if she can tell. Does she know that her soon to be husband and I were a couple? It was so long ago, perhaps he didn’t tell her.

“Call me Lacey, please.” She offers her hand. “I have seen your work online and your dresses are exquisite.” The air is thick with tension that comes from me.

“Good, I have a few samples here and a pattern I thought you’d like. I mean we can always alter it, this is up to you.” Stepping up to the table, I pull the materials over, they’re all white, which is what she requested. Soft, light fabrics for the wedding dress, the maid of honor’s dress will be a bright pink, and the fabrics I found are all top quality. I am supposed to be meeting her sister there to complete the adjustments to fit her perfectly.

“Kenna, do you mind if I call you Kenna?” I shake my head. “My dress has to be done before we even leave here. I want appointments set up everyday for the next two weeks. Will you be able to finish it in that time?”

“Yes, that’s not a problem.” Two of the longest weeks of my life.

M
y phone beeping
drags me from the memory. Swiping the screen, I open the message from Jayce and read the message a few times before it blurs. This can’t be true. I don’t know what hurts more, him marrying Lacey, or her being pregnant. That’s different, so fucking different.

There’s nothing I can say in response.
Fuck
. Dragging my gaze to the dress, my heart aches more. As soon as I get this done, I can get out of here. Away from the pain, from the memory of the past that’s ripping me in two.

The white fabric lying on the table in front of me shimmers. The small diamanté stones are intricately woven between layers of silk, chiffon, and organza. It’s a beautiful dress. I stand up, lifting it from the table, holding it against me. Glancing in the mirror, I twist and turn to make sure the skirts are flowing like I want them to and they do. Exquisite. Perfect. Not mine. “God.” A deep voice startles me and I spin around, coming face to face with Cole Ashford.

“Cole, what are you doing in here? You’re not supposed to see the dress.” Even as the words tumble from my mouth, I don’t lower the white princess gown I am holding. Heat courses through me and my throat goes dry.

Anger.

Fear.

Love. Always love.

“It’s perfect…” His gaze trails slowly from the hem up to the bodice. The emotion playing behind those amber eyes, undress me in every sense of the word. I am naked. Open to his scrutiny. A smile curls his lips. “… for you.” Finally, I lay the dress on my table, and turn to him.

“Why are you here?” Ignoring his comment, my biting retort is met with a cheeky smirk.

“I wanted to say hi, and it appears my timing is perfect. You would look incredible in that dress.” His eyes flit to the material behind me.
Is he being serious right now? How can he say something like that when he’s about to marry someone else?

“I need to work and it’s best you stay out of this. Or far from me. Once the dresses are finished I am leaving.” I can’t look at him anymore. He’s too beautiful, yes, beautiful.

When you look at Cole, it’s as if you’re looking at an advert for the perfect GQ man. He’s dark tousled hair that always looks like he’s just woken up, those eyes that shimmer amber with gold flecks. His perfect jawline and day old scruff, and the tanned skin that makes him look like he stepped off a beach in the Mediterranean. Perfection.

I busy myself with the material and that’s when I feel the heat of his body at my back. His arms cage me in and I spin to face him. We’re mere inches apart.

“Tell me you want me to leave and I will, but before you do, make sure you are not lying.” His voice is a whisper and his breath fans over my face. The scent of peppermint and his spicy cologne fill my senses and the memories of being with him, under him, flood my mind as if it happened yesterday. “Be honest, Kenna, with me and yourself. Say the words. Tell me you don’t want me anymore.”

His goading boils my blood and anger surfaces. It was my fault we split, but he’s getting married. How dare he come in here and tell me to deny him. To walk away again. Realization dawns on me then, this time I have a choice. The last time we were in this position, I walked away. This time however, it’s not on me. Pressing my hands on his chest, I lift my gaze to meet his.

“You’re the one who’s walking away this time, Cole. I made my mistake five years ago, but today, it’s on you. I am not telling you to leave me alone, or that I don’t want you. You know why?” I don’t wait for him to answer before carrying on. “Because I still love you, but you’re having a baby and moving on. You’re starting your own family, so why are you even standing here right now?” I push against his chest and he steps back, I can see the shock written all over his face. I didn’t have the courage to tell him last time I saw him, but now there’s no point in lying any more.

“What?”

“The baby, Cole, I know Lacey is pregnant. You’re having a child with her.” His eyebrows pinch together and confusion creases his expression.

“It’s not mine, darling. Lacey and I, we have a strange relationship. We’re only getting married because of our parents. Kenna, please?”

“Cole, just go. Walk out that door and go look after your family. It doesn’t matter who the father is, you’re marrying her. You have responsibilities, to be a parent to that baby.” With every word I utter it’s as if a blade is slowly slicing me open, letting me bleed all the pain and all the heartache and it’s falling at his feet.

“Ken, you can’t just tell me you love me and expect me to walk away without fighting for you. I know what and where my responsibilities lie. You need to realize that I am here, I will always be here.” His hand reaches for me, and his fingertips lightly touch my chest where my heart is.

“Cole…”

“Tell me to leave. Can you?”

His intense stare bores into me, shimmering amber, reminding me of the whiskey he loved to drink. Warm, strong, intoxicating, and so fucking bad for me.

“I can, Cole and I will.” I don’t meet his gaze, but the stunned silence that fills the room swirls around us, an electric current, that’s tangible, a living force between us. I have the upper hand this time and I am not losing again. “It’s your turn to walk away, and you’re doing it in two days when you say your vows to someone that isn’t me.”

With that, I push past him and open the door. Before I walk out, a soft whisper falls from my lips. “Goodbye.”

As the click of the lock sounds behind me, my heart hammers in against my ribcage and the agony—searing, mind-numbing pain—hits me all at once. And suddenly life is too much to bear.

I
reach
my room with my body humming with lust. My desire for her is driving me to say things that will make her think I have forgiven her, but deep down I know I haven’t yet. Maybe after tonight, after I have her the way I want her, whimpering, crying and begging, then I will think about forgiving her.

My heart is raw, like an open wound, searing with pain when I think of the years I missed out on. Seeing Ben as a baby, seeing Ivy pregnant. Every special moment I was supposed to share with her, taken away. Stolen from me.

When I laid eyes on her again, there was nothing that could stop me from taking her because my body knows hers. My heart though, that’s the fucking problem because it still loves her more than life itself. The scary thing is, I don’t know if I can trust her.

What if she ups and leaves with my son? Granted, the last time I saw her I told her to leave. Would she do it this time? If I told her. Would she give up on us and walk out?

Questions run rampant in my head. This life that seems like it’s in a tailspin has my mind messed up. I want her, but will she forgive me for the past and let me in?
Can I let go of the anger? Will we find a way to be together again?
Where I can be a part of my son’s life.

Stepping into the bathroom, I turn on the shower, waiting for the small space to steam up. As I strip down, I glance in the mirror finding a long red scratch down my torso. Ivy. Fuck she loves to dig her nails in, and it makes me fuck her harder. That tight little body takes me because she’s made for me.

I slide open the shower door and step inside. The water is hot and sluices down my back. I lean forward and wet my hair and with my eyes closed, I remember how her pussy clamped down on me when I spanked her sweet pert ass. I thicken and am fully erect as I recall one time I fucked her in the shower; it was the sexiest moment we ever had. It was also the single most erotic experience of my life.

“
H
old onto the tiles
, Firefly.” She reaches out and I watch the water slide down her soft smooth skin. She’s bent at the waist and her hair is wet, stuck to her back. With slow deliberate strokes, I run my fingertips down her thighs. Fingertips pressing into her supple flesh, then I raise one hand and bring it down hard on her ass cheek.

The splash of the water, the yelp from her lips, everything has my body alight with a hunger that’s primal. My cock throbs painfully. The silky steel she loves to feel inside her is begging me to slide into her tight heat. The slick pussy that fits me like a glove, brings out my innermost animal. Fisting my hand in her hair, I tug her up.

Her ass pressing against my cock has me groaning. “My sweet little Firefly. Does she want her pussy fucked?” I don’t recognize my voice, this is what she always does to me. A devil disguised like an angel. Temptation luring me into the fires of hell. Only this is a hell I will gladly walk with her.

“Yes, Sir.” She’s only ever used that word once before and we’ve been together for almost a year. It has my mind filled with filthy things I want to do to her.

“Do you want to be tied up and spanked until you’re crying?” She tries to nod, but she can’t move, I have a firm grip on her. My hips thrust against her ass, and my cock jumps feeling the smooth skin of her peachy ass.

“Please.”

“Or do you want the pain and pleasure I can give? That sweet cunt is all mine, isn’t it, Firefly? You aching for the animal to fuck you, baby? Deep and hard?”

“Fuck. Please?” Her begging is tempting every ounce of my restraint. I reach around, finding her throbbing little bud and circle it with my index finger. I flick it and Ivy screams out my name. It’s music to my ears.

Lifting my hand, I spank her pussy—it’s smooth, bare, and so wet. As her body spasms at the sensation I tug on her clit, tweaking it, then I slap her smooth lips over and over again, until I see the tears. I love when she begs for her orgasm. I control her body in ways she can’t even fathom. My fingers slide into her, the tight heat of her pussy cinching my digits.

“Please? Why? Because you want to come all over my hand baby? Ride my fingers, fuck my hand like you fuck my cock.” Her body shudders, and I realize she’s close. Her nails dig into my arm, my other hand still fisted in her long blonde hair. “That’s my girl, my Firefly.”

“Flash!” Her cries are loud and her cum drips on my hand. Slowly, I pull my fingers from her and spin her around while I lick the sweet arousal from each digit.

“Fuck me please?”

I grip her ass, lifting her, and her legs wrap around me. My cock nudges her entrance and without a word, I slam into her. Her body between mine and the wall. My hips raise up, plunging, taking, fucking. My cock is buried so deep inside her. My Firefly. Her hands twine around my neck as she holds on and her tits bounce in front of my face.

My mouth is watering to taste them, but the animal is loose and I can’t control my body. “I need to come, please, Flash.” Big blue eyes plead with me, and I nod.

“Come for me. All over my cock as I fuck you.” Her body tenses and her cunt milks my dick until my knees almost give out. My body doesn’t relax, until I am sated, she has to take every drive, every thrust.

“Flash… fuck…” Her whimpers and moans bring me to the edge, teetering. My hand grips her throat, holding her still, and my release tingles from the top of my head, down my spine and my grasp on her tightens. Her name slips from my lips on a deep growl as I fill her with my hot seed.

S
napping my eyes open
, I watch as cum swirls down the drain. Too many years I’ve lived with memories, and as much I love those times, I want the real thing now. I need it.

Tonight I will see Ivy’s parents again and years have passed, but I doubt they’d be happy to know I’m here. Her father will probably want to threaten me again, only this time, I don’t give a fuck, it’s Ivy I am worried about. When he sees his grandchild, I don’t think things are going to be as smooth as Ivy and me expect, and there is no way he would expect me to be the father.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and head into the bedroom. My phone vibrates on the nightstand, it’s my best friend, and I realize how much I wanted to talk to him. Luke knows me so well, it’s as if we are blood brothers.

“Hey man, how are you?”

“Jay, how is The Big Easy?” I can tell by the tone of his voice, there’s another question hidden in there.

“You mean how is Ivy?”

“Since you’ve brought her up, yeah.” Flopping onto the sofa, my head drops and I close my eyes.
How is Ivy? How do I tell him about Ben?

“Luke, are you sitting down?” He’s quiet for a long while and I wait. He must realize something’s up, something big, because normally I would come right out and say it.

“What is it, Jayce?” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I inhale a calming breath. I am still in shock and I have no idea how to even say it. The love in my heart is incredible, and I only met Ben today. “Jay?”

The word pulls me from my thoughts and I open my eyes. “I have a son.” It sounds so foreign on my tongue. He’s known me my whole life, and for me, this is huge.

“What? What do you mean? How do you have a son? Well, I mean… What the fuck, bro?”

“His name is Ben, he’s almost five. He looks exactly like me, man. A mini version of me, it’s fucking insane.” My heart thuds in my chest, remembering looking into those blue eyes, his smile, hair, everything. A part of me is out there and I can’t lose him.

“And she couldn’t tell you? This is fucking huge.” My best friend is angry, and it comes across the line loud and clear. He’s supported me through everything in my life and now I know that he will have my back through this.

“I know, brother. Trust me, I fucking lost it with her, but he’s so perfect. So fucking amazing. We’re trying to talk it through, but I am still coming to terms with it, Luke.” My voice is gruff with the emotion that’s tugging my heart.

“Shit. What are you going to do?”

“I can’t lose him, that’s all I know for now. It’s early days, but I need to figure it out quickly. The wedding is coming up and I can’t just let her walk away again.”

“Yeah, I get that, but are you planning to pack up your life and follow her? Or is she moving to LA?” Frustration filters over the line, I feel it too. The questions I would rather not ask myself, but have to.

“Luke, I don’t know man, I haven’t even talked to her about it.”

His heavy sigh on the other end of the line sparks my fears that time is running out and I need to decide soon. I wanted to leave Los Angeles, anyway, and maybe moving to Chicago is what I should do. I would do anything for my son.

“You should go, if she wants you, don’t walk away again.” I nod.

“I don’t want to be like my father, Luke, there’s no way I can walk away from this little guy. He’s so fucking gorgeous.”

“It seems Cass and I better hurry so he has a friend to play with.” That earns him a chuckle. I can imagine that will go down well with his wife.

“Tell her I will talk to her when I get home. I bet she’d be upset I kept this from her, but I have to get ready for dinner.”

“Sure man, I will smooth things over with her. Good luck and don’t come back without your woman.” His faith in me makes me smile. Only he knows how much this means to me. Seeing her, being with her.

“Yeah.” We hang up and I stand, making my way to the closet. A soft knock on the door, has me frowning and I pad over to open it. The sight on the other side knocks me breathless. Long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and tits that make my cock jump.

She’s dressed in a short black dress that shimmers under the low lights, the top is V cut and it shows off her cleavage which makes me want to bury my dick between them.

The dress stops mid thigh, it’s sexy, but elegant. She always had a way of making everything look exquisite and with her body that has curves for days I can’t stop staring. Her skin is beautiful and creamy. “What are you doing here?” It’s a stupid question, but if I let her in, I know we’ll fuck. There’s no doubt about that.

Her eyes travel over my bare chest and settle on the towel I still have wrapped around my waist. “Ben is with Bryce and I wanted to see if you’re ready.” She lifts her eyes to mine and I see the mischief sparkling in them. I grip her wrist, tugging her into my room. Shutting the door, I pin her against it. I reach for the hem of her dress and lift it to her hips. Pushing my thigh between her legs, feeling her heat burns onto my leg.

“You wanted this?” I lean in and lick the soft sweet skin from her collar bone up her neck, to the spot behind her ear. “Or this?” Sucking the lobe into my mouth, I bite down earning myself a whimper that shoots straight to my erection. Her hips roll as she humps my thigh.

“Flash.” My nickname is breathy on her lips and it has me barely holding onto my restraint. Gripping her hips, I pull her against me. Our bodies are so close we could be one person.

We belong together, always have. Soul mates.

Our connection it isn’t only physical, it’s emotional. She is a part of who I am, she is the better part of me. But, I have no reason to be good. When I move my leg, my hand finds her panty clad pussy, and I cup her, pressing my hand against her soaked thong. “Is my little Firefly wet for me?” She nods.

My fingers shift the fabric to the side and I stroke her slick folds.

Hot. Tight. Wet. She feels incredible. “Did you come here to get fucked, Firefly?” My rough tone is low as I rasp in her ear. She nods again. Her breathing is erratic and her body is trembling. “You giving me your body to apologize for keeping my son from me?” A smirk curls my lips as she pulls back.

The shock that crosses her features tells me she didn’t realize I was still angry. “Fuck you.” She spits the words at me and I chuckle. There is no question she will get fucked, and I love when she’s feisty.

“That will happen, because you want to fuck me. Don’t you?” Our eyes burn into each other, and the fire I see blazing in her gaze is erotic, sexy, and unrestrained.