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You know.

Exercise

At my heaviest, I never exercised. I don’t know if it was because I was too tired to exercise because I was too fat, or just too tired, period. Whatever the reason for my couch-potato status, I knew I now had to start somewhere. Portion control and nutrition wasn’t enough—I had to fine-tune the engine, firm up the chassis. Exercise would (the experts said) ensure the performance of my heart, lungs, muscles, and increase flexibility (not to mention the look of my flabby upper arms); it also would have an effect on my emotional readiness for a partner.

I did know a little about exercise, as you all do. You’d have to be living in a box not to have heard of the advantages of aerobic fitness and weight lifting. I knew that cardiovascular exercise would help my ability to deliver oxygen and nutrients to tissues, heart, and lungs; it would also keep my blood pressure low and help with weight loss. I knew that I needed strong, toned muscles and body flexibility to continue working and walking (and don’t forget shopping) at the pace I chose. Even my posture wasn’t terrific. I had to get moving.

There are always one or two straws that break the proverbial camel’s back, that make you say, Okay—this is it. I’m not going to take it anymore—I’m taking charge. I had those straws. Three straws, to be exact.

The first straw had to do with my asthma inhaler. I did not want to use that
damn inhaler. First of all, and I know this is the vainest reason in the world, when I went out in the evening, the thing took up too much space in my small purse. I did not want to have that asthma inhaler in that space. I had one in the car, one at work, one next to my bed, and I hated them all. But I had to have the rotten things. Once, in Aspen, I couldn’t breathe and I truly panicked. My blood oxygen level went down to 60 (that ain’t terrific). So, breathing was a huge health goal for me and a reason I started to exercise. (Let me jump ahead for a second and say that as I write this, it’s been over two years since I’ve used or carried an asthma inhaler.)

The second straw that drove me to exercise was the ability to cross my legs. I didn’t have it. I’m not talking about looking good crossing my legs, oh no, darling, I’m talking about being able to physically do it at all. When I sat, I was uncomfortable, and I felt all squished up with too tight clothes and unsupple limbs. Jumping ahead again—the day I finally crossed my legs, I was home talking to someone, and without thinking, I just crossed my legs. I looked down—crossed legs! Whoa!!!!!!!!

The third straw? I wanted to be able to put on my own necklace. When you’re heavy, to stretch your arms out with your elbows at right angles to your body and keep your arms up there while you fasten your necklace is hard.

I put on my own necklace now.

So, I faced the truth: any weight-loss plan had to include exercise.

Let’s talk about general exercise and goals in a minute. I want to tell you what I personally did to start moving my body properly and healthfully.

Dealing with the Doctor

The first thing I did before I started my dieting or exercise program was to see my doctor. You know I’ve read this a million times: talk to your doctor. But what do you
say
to your doctor? No one ever tells you that. Perhaps a few specifics on what to discuss with your doctor regarding weight loss might be in order, right here. Dr. Nieca Goldberg, spokesperson for the American Heart Association and chief of the Women’s Heart Program at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, suggests you write down the following list of
general
things to discuss with
your doctor; certainly, take the list with you to your appointment to talk about an exercise plan, if one is prescribed. Tell the doctor about:

• Your health concerns
  
• Symptoms you’ve noticed
  
• Past illnesses and medications
  
• Family history of heart disease and other illnesses
  
• Medications you’re taking (and have taken in the past)
  
• Your lifestyle habits—diet, smoking, past exercise (in my case, this was zero exercise)
  
• Causes of stress in your life
  
• What you want to accomplish with exercise
  

My own primary doctor on the team involved in my weight-loss plan suggests this conversation to have with yourself, then with a physician:

First ask yourself: Is my weight really a problem? Can I get around, is personal hygiene difficult, am I short of breath if I walk a couple of blocks or even one flight of stairs? If you acknowledge you have a problem, then ask the doctor the following
specific
questions:

• What methods of weight loss are you familiar with—a low-fat diet, a high-protein diet, portion control, etc. What have your other patients done that is successful?
  
• What are the resources you have available to help me on my journey? For example, is there a nutritionist on your staff? Are there personal trainers on your staff? (Usually, only weight-loss specialists will have these “perks.”)
  
• How do I know if I’m unhealthily obese or just fat? Until recently, doctors measured a person’s fat by a mathematical formula called a Body Mass Index. If your weight in kilograms divided by your height—in meters squared—exceeded 30, you were seriously obese.
  

•      There’s a better way to judge, according to a new worldwide study of 27,000 people reported in the prestigious
  Lancet Medical Journal.
  This cutting-edge test of unhealthy obesity considers where your fat is
  located—not just how much fat you have. Why? Fat stored around the waist is more likely to clog arteries than fat stored around the thighs and hips. The new test uses the ratio of waist size divided by hip circumference. The danger point for cardiovascular risk is more than0.85 for women and 0.90 for men. Bottom line: a larger waist line than a hip line is bad news when predicting health problems, especially heart attacks. Your doctor and many Internet sites can determine your hip-to-waist-size ratio.
  

Sometimes, the doctor you consult will refer you to a weight-loss specialist called a bariotritionist. That specialist might discuss the various methods of weight loss that are available.

Bring a notepad or paper to any appointments (or even a small tape recorder) so you can go over the doctor’s responses later, when you’re not nervous.

So, I spoke to my doctors. And they spoke back to me—about exercise.

My Exercise Routine

After discussions with doctors, my own research, and checking out my thinking with my best friends, I hit upon the plan which would work best for me. It changed my life, that’s all. Each person must experiment to find the type of exercise she likes. It will work for her because if she likes it, she’ll do it.

You might have heard of my personal choice; it’s called
Pilates.

The Pilates phenomenon has been catching on in most parts of this country, not to mention Canada, Europe, and even Asia. It’s a method of exercise created to balance, stretch, tone, and strengthen the body. Designed by a boxer and a performer named Joseph Pilates around 1914, it involves equipment that incorporates spring tension, straps to hold feet or hands, and supports for the back, neck, and shoulders. There are more than five hundred controlled, precise movements, and the exercises require concentration, as you might guess. Pilates also encourages mat work, which is exercises done on the floor. Joseph Pilates believed that consistent deep breathing was integral to good, strong
lungs and bodies. He believed that strengthening what he called the “powerhouse”—the muscles of the lower abdomen, lower back, buttocks, and pelvic floor were the source of great health and a firm, trim body.

Strength and flexibility (particularly of the abdomen and back muscles) are a big Pilates goal. Keeping the spine in neutral alignment works deep muscles safely even as it protects against back pain. Muscular and emotional coordination are integral to the program, which promises (and delivers) great posture and balance, increased bone density, and joint health, not to mention stress reduction. Don’t be put off by the fact the machines have names—sometimes scary ones like the Reformer. Another is the Cadillac, and yet another is the Wunda Chair. You really need an instructor, at least in the beginning, to conquer the Reformer.

I love it. It’s a great way to tone and slim troublesome spots like waist, hips, upper arms, and thighs. I needed that.

Here’s the bad news: it can get pretty pricey. I do my Pilates three to four times a week in a Pilates studio with special Pilates trainers Julie Rose of Power Pilates and Lesa Salvano of In Balance Studio. A less expensive way to do it is to join one of the myriad gyms that offer Pilates along with other kinds of exercise equipment, including, perhaps, a pool; the Pilates classes usually come along with the price of yearly membership.

General Exercise

Let’s talk general exercise:
the best exercise is the one you’ll do,
and I need to be motivated and definitely not bored. Again, I went back to my doctor to ask her to recommend something that would step up my exercise program but still give me a Pilates experience. Her suggestion?
Core Fusion.
If Pilates changed my life, Core Fusion at the Exhale spa is helping me live it to the fullest.

Core Fusion, developed by Elisabeth Halfpapp and Fred DeVito, is a tightly choreographed fitness class that flows from weight work to ballet-based moves to exercises that borrow from Pilates, yoga, and orthopedic smarts. It’s geared toward strengthening your core—the area between your butt and your abs—but believe me, every part of my body feels stretched and buffed when I finish a
workout. Core Fusion is actually a mind-body class in many ways because a sense of peace and relaxation accompanies the resulting long, lean muscles and more flexible body. A tough but wholly efficient workout—I love it.

Finally, I have also gone the route (and still do, sporadically) of general exercise, and that can work wonderfully if your main priority is to keep at it. This is what I now know about exercise in general:

Small goals

Whatever exercise you choose, make sure you’ve got a realistic plan. If you’ve never worked out in your life and then say you’re going to go to the gym five days a week for the rest of your life, you should know your plan is ridiculous and dumb—because you’re not going to show up. If you make unrealistic goals, you’re going to set yourself up and get all geeked up and be excited the first two or three days. And then you’re going to stop. And you’re going to be frustrated. And then you’re going to eat. Not good—okay?

So, I make what I like to call small goals. During the eight weeks before my wedding, when my mission was to weigh less than Al on that day, I did intensive boot camp workouts with four different trainers in addition to Pilates. Four trainers every week, five days a week for eight straight weeks! It was crazy, it was nuts, I was working my rear end off because I wanted to meet that goal. But it was a very short-term goal—and I was determined to meet it. I managed but I couldn’t maintain it now if I wanted to: the goal is no longer there, but the discipline it took to reach it is and will be for the rest of my life.

It helped that as I started, Suzanne, my lead trainer at “E,” the Equinox elite training facility, said to me, “Your only goal is to get here. If you get here, I’ll do the rest.”

So, my first goal was simply to get up and get to the gym. After I attained my wedding weight, I set even smaller goals. If I did nothing else, I would not take the elevator but walk up and down seven flights in my building every Monday. Then, my goal was to walk the stairs Mondays and Wednesdays. My next goal was to walk up and down the stairs two days a week and take a class a week at the gym. Then, I moved from one weekly class to two classes.

Take very tiny steps in your exercise program. Move yourself into good health at a slow pace. As you accomplish each short-term goal, you’re excited to add a new one.

What Your Exercise Program Should Be Doing for You

You’ve made the realistic plan. You’ve decided where you want to be in three months, and you got there. Your exercise program should now provide you with cross-training—a little of everything.

Want to feel stronger? Want to feel less pain and stiffness, and more suppleness? Do you want to see that flabby skin get firmer and more attractive? Want to get closer to loving yourself—and thus making yourself more attractive to Mr. Terrific, who’s waiting on the sidelines somewhere? Go, girl. If you belong to a gym, ask the trainers to help you set up a balanced and realistic cross-training program. If you’re exercising on your own, the all-around exercises should include: