Silver Heart (18 page)

“That was incredible!” I gushed as I stepped out of my snowboard. “I can’t believe that just happened! Did you see me?”

“I did,” he laughed, wiping away fluffy white powder from his board.

“I wasn’t thinking about anything. I just glided down. Without falling!” It helped that my entire body felt like putty. I couldn’t tense up or lock my knees even if I tried.

“You were amazing.” Sawyer picked up our boards and led the way to his car.

“Are all your private lessons this
thorough
?” I teased as we stopped in front of his trunk.

“You’re my first private lesson,” he said, bending down to kiss me. “At least of this sort.”

I lifted up my eyes to meet his. “Where do I sign up for more?”

A sultry spark tore through his green gaze. “I must warn you, the intermediate level is a lot more intense.” I could feel his mischievous grin as it stretched across my lips. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“I’m definitely up for it,” I replied. “Who knows? If you continue this type of training, I may even get good enough to make it to the Olympics.”

“You can have the gold if you let me keep my silver,” Sawyer joked.

I spent the rest of the drive back to the cabin trying not to look at his fingers as they strummed to the beat of the music against the steering wheel.

I was beyond excited for more private classes from Sawyer.

Following a quick stop at a nearby diner, Sawyer and I returned to the complex to find a party raging in Maddie’s client’s cabin. The invite had seemingly gone out to all of Whistler. Music blared, people danced, laughter rang out into the night. Thankfully, the festivities were contained to the bottom floor, so I was able to retreat to my room to shower in peace and grab a change of clothes.

Outfitted in a simple lavender sweater dress and gray ankle boots, I made my way downstairs and weaved through the crowd of plastic cup wielding strangers in search of Maddie. I finally found her in the dining room, engaging in a wildly entertaining round of beer pong. She and her partner—a short-haired girl I recognized as being one of Sawyer’s friends—were beating Connor and his partner.

Maddie’s eyes lit up when she saw me. She wrapped her hands around my neck in greeting, enveloping me in the smell of beer and her usual peachy body lotion.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she said, gesturing around the room, “I invited some friends.”

“
Some
friends?” I laughed. “Maddie, this resembles one of your old high-school ragers.”

She shrugged and joined in my laughter. “Cut me some slack. I never got to experience any college parties. Plus, I cleared it with Mr. Client.”

I had my doubts that Mr. Client had the slightest inclination just how many people were currently trotting over his Persian rugs and making out on his white leather couches, but I didn’t say anything.

“Connor is here,” she whispered in my ear. If her faux whisper hadn’t been loud enough for Connor to hear, he had definitely seen the index finger that was aimed directly at him. “Can you make sure I don’t break any rules tonight?” She raised her eyebrows expectantly. “I’m kinda tipsy. And I actually really like this guy, so I don’t want to screw anything up.”

“I won’t let you stumble into his bed,” I promised, suddenly experiencing a case of déjà vu. Maddie was my sister at heart, but most of our high school experience had ended with me somehow taking care of her. It was why we worked well as a team—she pushed me to try new things and take chances, while I ensured she didn’t cross any lines she’d later regret.

Speaking of not breaking rules…

My eyes followed Sawyer as he made his way over to us, stopping every so often to greet people he knew. He had gone back to his cabin to shower and change, and now wore a simple black v-neck t-shirt and dark jeans. Wet strands of hair peeked out beneath a black beanie, giving him a mischievous, boyish appearance.

Memories of a time long-ago fluttered around my mind, tugging at my heart, reminding me that so much had changed over the past few years. Six years was a long time to be away from somebody, and Sawyer had grown in ways that made me realize I no longer knew
all
of him. He was still familiar in the ways I needed him to be, but it was evident that I had so much to rediscover about him.

We spent most of the night hanging out with Maddie and the rest of the gang. Since I was supposed to keep an eye on her and Sawyer didn’t drink, I chose to join him in sober-ville. Eventually the party thinned out and Maddie was securely escorted to her bed—sans Connor.

Sawyer stayed behind to help me clean, then ended up crashing in my bed at around three in the morning. We laid on our sides without touching, gazing at each other and talking until our voices slowly faded and our eyes began to close.

Only talking. Nothing else. Just like old times.

It slowly began to sink in that our roles had somehow reversed. When we were younger, I had been the one with the ideal life, the girl who always knew her next step. Sawyer’s world had been unpredictable, riddled with hurdles. His life was constantly spinning out of control.

Now, as I was second-guessing my path in life, he had made it. He’d achieved and even surpassed all goals he’d set for himself. He was so sure of himself, and it showed in the way he conducted himself—talked, walked, rode—as well as the power he displayed in
other
areas.

It thrilled me to know that things had worked out the way he’d planned, but it also terrified me because I knew with certainty that I didn’t fit into any of those plans.

CHAPTER TWELVE

We spent most of Monday morning on the slopes. Maddie had a private with Connor, while Sawyer offered to be my personal instructor and oversee my lessons for the day. To my disappointment we stayed confined to the very public Whistler tracks, which meant there weren’t any trees to take refuge behind and no way to indulge in a more
thorough
tutorial.

Nevertheless, there was a slight improvement in my snowboarding skills. Once I stopped thinking about
not
thinking, I slowly began to enjoy myself. I wasn’t able to match Maddie’s speed and my turns were still giving me trouble, but the snowboard no longer felt like an alien object under my feet.

Every new run also meant more chairlift time with Sawyer, so I did my best to get in as many as I could. I loved dangling in mid-air with our shoulders, legs, and boards brushing lightly; I melted every time I drew warmth from his tall frame.

Fluffy, white snowflakes floated from the sky, disappearing in Sawyer’s dark hair and dissolving on his long lashes. I wanted to lean over and kiss every single one of them away, but on our very last run he beat me to it. He pressed his lips to each of my eyelids, then drew a warm trail of kisses over my forehead, down my nose, ending up on my lips, provoking an immediate response from my body.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect, but Sawyer had much more in store for me than just beginner snowboarding lessons and stolen chairlift kisses. He was still on a mission to get me to lose control and that meant one thing—another crazy adventure. To my disappointment, it didn’t involve more alone time with Sawyer. This time, the feat was every adrenaline junkie’s wet dream: ziplining over snow-covered trees on a nearby forest course.

Maddie and Connor decided to join us, so at around three o’clock in the afternoon, we all piled into Old Stally and journeyed over to the zipline course. Gloved hands entwined, we trekked across a trail of wobbly bridges suspended between tall, thick trees. I didn’t protest the zipline as much as I had the bungee jump. I felt less afraid of the unknown and actually looked forward to conquering the challenge.

I forced my eyes to stay open as my feet left the high platform, indulging every one of my senses in the thrill of the ride. A blur of green, brown, and white spilled out below me; streams of blue and white flowed above me.

The air was sharper and fresher at such a high altitude. The smell of pine needles and ice reminded me of Sawyer. As always, it both warmed my insides and filled me with pleasurable shivers. Inhaling deeply, I let the scent wash over my skin, filling my lungs with the crispness of the nature around us.

The entire day flew by so quickly I yearned to dig my heels into the ground and keep the earth from rotating on its axis. Hours ticked away like seconds; it felt like the sun had begun to set before it even had a chance to rise.

After surviving the zipline escapade, Maddie and Connor headed into town for a date. Sawyer had an important conference call with one of his sponsors, so I prepared for a night of much-needed alone time with my bed.

Every one of my joints ached and my muscles screamed out in agony, protesting the most minute movement. All I wanted to do was crawl under my cozy duvet, turn on a mindless movie, and drift off to sleep.

But first, I forced myself to endure a warm shower. As I was toweling off, I played a game of “tally up the bruises.” The count on my legs had gone up by four since yesterday. I didn’t dare peek at my ass. If the pain I was experiencing was any indication, it was better to be kept in the dark about the situation in that area.

I snapped a quick picture of the big blue-and-purple mess that was my right knee and texted it to Sawyer with the words “
You’re evil!”
attached underneath.

Are you trying to seduce me?
he replied moments later.

I was trying to show you how much you’ve tortured me today.

I pressed “send” at the same time as another text popped up on my screen.

Because it’s working. Hottest. Pic. Ever.

Are bony knees a turn-on for you or something?

Your bony knees are cute. :)

Guys who use emoticons are cute.

And girls who can handle pain are hot.

Very funny
.

I didn’t mean for that to come off as kinky.

Sure you didn’t.

After that, my phone blew up with a string of texts.

Really, Silver. I love watching you ride. I love seeing the determination in your eyes. Even when you fall, you don’t let it defeat you. You’re strong. And your strength is hot. VERY HOT.

With every new message that popped up on my screen, my grin grew a little wider and my heartbeat a little faster. I didn’t reply; I just read the words over and over again, memorizing them, indulging in the meaning behind the text. There was radio silence on his end for a while as well, but then my phone lit up again.

Soo...should I sext back one of my scrapes? Is that what we’re doing here?

It suddenly hit me that I missed him. A lot.
Or maybe you can come over instead…
I typed.

I’ll be there in an hour.

An hour? I’ll pass out by then.

You better not. Stay up, Silver. It’ll be worth it. I promise. ;)

After that promise, I couldn’t do anything else but wait up and try not to drown in anticipation. I briefly considered dressing up for his visit, but instead put on a simple pair of pajama shorts and a matching tank top.

This was Sawyer, after all. He’d seen me with braces and pimples and hair piled up high on top of my head in the messiest of buns. He’d also told me that I was the smartest, prettiest, funniest girl in the world when, at thirteen, I’d whined that no boy would ever like me because I was the only girl in my entire class who was still as flat as a board. He’d somehow succeeded in convincing me that no boobs didn’t mean that I’d die an old maid in a sea of cats.

He’d probably see right through me if he showed up at my door and I was wearing a corset, fishnet stockings, and lipstick—not that I even owned any of those. But I kind of wanted Sawyer to know my intentions.

For the first time in what felt like forever, I was in perfect alignment of Maddie’s fifth and most important rule:
no regrets
. I felt a craving that hadn’t surfaced with anyone else for a very long time, a desire to connect with Sawyer on the most intimate level possible.