So Much to Learn (31 page)

Anyway, apart
from doing some more studying, Jack and I had no real interaction
over the Tuesday and Wednesday. Matt always seemed to be around and
so no opportunity arose where I could put my new found confidence
in my body and in his to use. Basically I experienced my first real
case of sexual frustration and let me tell you, it isn't pretty! I
would find myself looking over at Jack constantly and feeling
almost predatory. Each second that I spent in his company meant I
had to make an extreme effort not to jump him.

By Thursday I
was at breaking point and I knew that something had to give.
Luckily, on Thursday there was a two hour window where Jack and I
finished our uni classes before Matt, and Jack and I both had a
night off from our respective works. Jackpot!

And so it was
that on Thursday afternoon Jack barely made it through the flat
door before I flew at him and flattened myself against him.
Stepping up onto my tippy-toes I kissed him ferociously, gripping
his shoulders tightly and rejoicing in the feel of him after what
felt like an eon without it.

Judging by the
way he buried one hand into my hair and wrapped the arm of the
other tightly around my waist I'm guessing that Jack had missed
physical contact with me as well. Which, all things considered, was
very gratifying.

After some of
my immediate need for Jack had been sated, but my long term need
had been heightened, I pulled away and grabbed onto his arm,
drawing him towards his bedroom.

"Tally…" he
tried to say but I whirled around and put a finger over his
lips.

"Nuh-uh," I
said sternly, "No, I'm not ready to talk yet and, besides, we don't
have time. So shut up and keep moving!" He grinned at this and I
took this as agreement to my plan.

Once in his
bedroom, we tumbled straight onto the bed and, in between urgent,
toe curling kisses, divested ourselves of most of our clothing.
There was minimum foreplay as neither of us was willing to waste
the precious time we had on build up, we pretty much cut to the
main event.

Hugging each
other tightly, we rocked together, Jack covering one side of my
neck and shoulders with kisses, me simply tucking my head
underneath his jaw and closing my eyes as I let a beautiful wave of
desire, contentment and bliss all rolled into one wash over me.

Time, I
discovered, kind of melts away while you're joined with another
person. The only measure of time passing is the different levels of
intimacy, desire and satisfaction. By the time we were reaching our
peak we could have been together for hours or just a few minutes, I
really couldn't tell.

Our pace picked
up, the feeling of frenzy increased and I lifted my head free from
against Jack's neck, worried that in my ecstasy I would jerk up and
break his jaw. At the very moment of release I found myself biting
hard into Jack's shoulder so that my howl of pleasure wouldn't
float downstairs and be heard by nosey Haley and her bingo-obsessed
aunt. Jack's reaction was to squeeze me as tightly as possible
against him and go very still. We stayed like this, frozen in the
moment, for a little while and then eventually we both relaxed and
I looked in horror at the damage I had done to his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry,"
I panted, eying the red patch with clear imprints of my teeth.

Tipping his
head down to look at it Jack simply smiled and said, "That'll be
one hell of a hickey come tomorrow morning." Then kissing me
lightly on the mouth he got off the bed and held out a hand to me.
"Come on then," he said, "we both need a shower."

And, although,
it was still light outside and Jack was able to see me completely,
I took his hand and followed him out into the bathroom without any
qualms. I think I was too content for qualms.

We took turns
having showers because, romantic as showering together would no
doubt have been, our shower simply wasn't big enough for the both
of us, and then returned to our separate rooms to get dressed and,
in Jack's case, put bedclothes into the wash.

As we both
settled down on the couch to begin yet more studying there was the
sound of three cars entering the car park down below in quick
succession. One was quite obviously Matt's and the other two were
familiar as well so it was no surprise when, a few minutes later,
there was a great trudging noise coming from the stairwell outside
the flat door and the next moment Matt, Tommo, Samsa, Micky, Haley
and Simone entered.

Matt stopped
dead in his tracks when he saw that I had a textbook open on my lap
and then threw his arms out to stop the others coming any further
into the room.

"Hold it!" He
called out. "They're studying so we're going to have to go
somewhere else."

Micky let out a
loud groan at this and Jack shook his head. "Nah, come on in," he
said easily, "I've still got two and a half weeks before the test
and, the way things are going, I should be alright."

"You sure?"
Matt asked, still not lowering his arms.

Jack nodded and
our friends pushed past Matt to go and throw themselves on the
various pieces of furniture littered around our lounge room.

I scooted over
so that Simone could come and sit next to me and Haley sat down
next to her and Jack so that the couch was squashed with the four
of us. Jack and I were on either ends and for once I was grateful
that Haley was between us because I wasn't tempted to look over as
much as I would have otherwise. In fact I turned my head resolutely
away and talked to Simone, knowing that with all our friends
present someone was bound to notice if I spent all evening staring
at Jack with my tongue hanging out.

Simone didn't
seem to be totally her bouncy self, but she was certainly improved
from the Sunday and I'd seen her plenty of times during the week to
reaffirm that she was still my best friend regardless of the fact
that she was clearly keeping something from me.

As had happened
numerous times before, the TV was soon switched on, the fridge was
raided and the battle over chair possession soon began. However,
unlike other gatherings of the eight of us, there was a strange
undercurrent running through the conversation. My blood ran cold as
I realised that something was very wrong in the way we were all
interacting with one another. I couldn't pinpoint what it was
exactly, but there was a certain weirdness flowing between us. I
caught Jack's eye and knew that he was feeling it too and was as
surprised and alarmed as I was.

'How could they
know?' I asked myself over and over again and the answer I kept
coming up with was, 'They don't.' And my subconscious was right,
the weirdness wasn't centred around Jack and I, it originated from
Simone, Micky and Samsa.

They weren't
looking at each other and when they had to speak to one another it
was in clipped, hard tones which, at least for Sam and Simone, were
really out of character. Even Matt and Tom who can usually be
counted on to be supremely oblivious looked at me throughout the
evening, eyebrows raised and I could only give an imperceptible
little shrug back in return as I was as much in the dark as they
were.

As the evening
wore on and the conversation became more and more strained I knew
the likelihood that we would be able to get away from this
gathering without a blow up was extremely slim, there was too much
emotion flying around for everybody to get out unscathed. I didn't,
however, realise that I would be the catalyst for the explosion. I
thought that when I turned to Tommo and asked, in a way that I’d
done countless times before, if he would look at my car sometime
when he had a free moment because I could hear a strange rattling
when I was driving, that I was on a safe subject.

But barely had
the words left my mouth when Micky suddenly spoke up, "Don't bother
Tommo," he snarled, "the stupid bitch has probably just dropped a
packet of tic-tacs under the seat or something."

There was a
moment of stunned silence.

Then Tommo, the
first to recover, looked over at Micky in disgust. "Watch your
mouth," he said before looking at me and nodding, "No problem,
how's tomorrow afternoon?"

"That's great,
I'll bring it over at about 1? Is that-?" I said as I tried to
follow Tommo's lead and steer the conversation back on track after
Micky's odd interjection. It seemed that Micky was not to be
deterred, however, as he spoke up again, over the top of my reply
to Tommo, his tone fairly dripping with poisonous hatred of me.

"Sure, check
her car and fix the rattling noise, but do use all a favour mate
and let out the brake fluid while you're there. Lord knows the
world can only improve if she's not in it."

The aftershock
from this statement reverberated around the room leaving in its
wake a row of faces frozen in disbelief. Sure Micky didn't like me,
we all knew that, but to go so far as to say, even as a joke, that
he wished me dead? And in front of my brother, his friends and my
best friend? Well, that is just plain suicidal!

I sat still on
the couch hating Micky with every fibre of my being for messing up
our friendship group. Because, without a doubt, that was what he
was doing. The irony of being cross at him for changing the
dynamics between my friends was, naturally, lost on me at the time
because I was too busy being self-righteous. Ah the joys of being
obliviously hypocritical!

It was only a
matter of time before someone exploded and my money was on Jack. I
braced myself for the fury and inevitable violence which was going
to ensue and was just beginning to argue with myself whether I
would try and stop Jack and the other boys pummelling Micky into
pancake or just let them go for it when Simone suddenly leapt off
the couch.

Before anyone
could stop her she had strode over to Micky's chair and slapped him
so hard his head snapped to the side and her ring left a nasty
graze down the side of his cheek.

"You bastard!"
She hissed, sounding nothing like the sweet, caring Simone I knew
and loved. "You absolute bastard. I hate you! Everybody hates you.
You know it's not Talia's fault, you know it, but you just can't
stop yourself, can you? You misogynistic, egotistical prick! "

I looked to see
how Micky was taking this barrage, but he wasn't even looking at
Simone, he was glaring to the side as if he could pretend that she
wasn't there. But I knew he wasn't succeeding in blocking her out,
his chest rose and fell irregularly and his cheek must have been
smarting like nothing else.

"Well that's
it, I'm through with even being in the same room as you. Go to
hell!" And with this last screech of fury Simone whirled around and
ran from the flat, slamming the door loudly behind her.

There was a
moment when we were all frozen in tableau, then Micky slowly stood
up and stalked across the room, his back and shoulders stiff, his
gait restrained as if he was trying to stop himself running
hysterically out like Simone had. Reaching the door he turned back
as if he was going to say something and, for the briefest moment I
thought he looked almost apologetically at me. Then he turned away
and exited the flat.

As the door
closed behind him I got to my feet and looked round at my shocked
friends. "Uh," I said uncertainly, "I guess I'd better go and
fulfil my best friend duties." Moving round one of the armchairs I
grabbed my jacket off the table and headed for the door, hoping
that I wouldn't meet Micky outside as I would probably do a lot
more than just slap him.

"No!" Sam's
voice was a shout as he jumped up from his chair and grabbed my
arm. I jerked round in surprise and was alarmed by the look of
urgency on his face. He was pale beneath his spiked hair and I
wondered if he was ill. Obviously realising I was startled by his
shout he lowered his voice and reiterated, "No, I'll go," in a
slightly quieter tone.

Not
understanding why he of all people was so desperate to go to
Simone's aid I shook my head and tried to pull my arm free from his
tight hold. "No, I'll go," I insisted. "She's my best friend and
she's obviously upset, I have to go and find her."

"I said no."
Sam spoke sternly as if he was a parent lecturing a child and my
mouth dropped open in shock. Sam had always been the joker of the
group, I'd only heard him use that serious voice on the footy oval
and I certainly wasn't one of his players. Before I could protest
further, however, he spoke again in that hard voice. "You stay
here, it's better if I go, trust me." And, so saying he released my
arm with a little push which had me fighting to keep my balance,
crossed the room and was out the door before I could voice another
objection.

Feeling as if
the world as I had known it had just come crashing down on my head
I looked back round at Matt, Tommo, Jack and Haley and saw that the
four of them were just as perplexed as I was about what had just
happened. Dithering for a moment over whether I should ignore Sam's
commands and go and find Simone anyway I saw Jack shake his head
slightly and knew that he was right. Clearly this had something to
do with whatever it was that Simone didn't want me to know and, for
now, I was going to respect her wishes. If things got worse
however…well I wasn't making any promises.

Rejoining Haley
and Jack on the couch I grabbed a cushion and, hugging it tightly
against myself, murmured, "Geez, do you think there's something
they're not telling us?"

And in the next
second a voice, so quiet for a moment I wasn't even sure I had
heard it, said, "Pot calling kettle, wouldn't you say?"

I jerked my
head up and wondered for a moment if my subconscious had got so
cocky it was going freelance outside my brain, before I saw Haley's
expression and knew she was the one who had said it.

OK so I had been wrong earlier. At least one our friends (if
you could call her that)
did
know about Jack and me. Or at least that’s the
only thing I could imagine she was talking about with her pot and
kettle nonsense. Looking around quickly I saw that none of the boys
had heard her so I looked at Haley hard, waiting for her to play
her hand. She pretended she didn't notice me staring at her, but I
was extremely determined and, after a time, she relented and looked
at me. As our eyes met she blushed a deep scarlet in a way I had
never seen her do before and then suddenly stood up.