Something Like Winter (17 page)

“
We’re concerned about the
kind of people you are associating with.”

Tim’s insides became a void
that he tumbled into. He knew it had been too good to be
true.

“
He’s just a friend,” Tim
said, wishing his voice had more power, but it never seemed to. Not
when his parents were unhappy with him.

“
He’s a homosexual,” his
father said.

“
Yeah. He didn’t exactly
hide that fact.”

Thomas huffed. “Is that
accepted at your school?”

Tim tried to meet his eyes
and failed. “Not really. He has a hard time. But you saw him. He’s
a nice guy.”

“
He was very polite,” his
mother chimed in, “but you know it’s a sin.”

“
Not to mention how this
reflects on our family.”

How it reflects on
them.
That’s what his
father truly meant to say. But Tim had to try. For Ben’s sake, he
had to say something.

“
Didn’t you like him?
Everyone got along so well during dinner.”

“
We’re not barbarians,” his
father snapped. “We don’t treat our guests poorly.”

“
We did like him,
Gordito,
but unless you
think he can change his ways, he’s going to Hell. There’s no way
around that. It breaks my heart to think of a sweet boy like him
there, but you can’t argue with God.”

Tim looked at his mother,
at the tears in her eyes. She possessed as much sympathy as his
father did anger, but was so wrapped up in her religion that Tim
knew he could never change what she believed. He wished he could
see her, just once, without his father and without her faith,
because he was certain she’d be amazing.

He thought about telling
them the truth, of daring them to judge him as they did Ben. Those
tears in his mother’s eyes—for a person she barely knew—would be
magnified a hundredfold. Whether it was true or not, his mother
would believe with complete conviction that her son was going to
Hell, and it would break her heart.

“
What do you expect me to
do?” Tim rasped. “He’s my friend.”

“
No, he isn’t,” his father
announced, as if it were up to him to decide. As it turned out, he
could. “I’ll pull you out of school if those are the sorts of
friends you have. You can go to a military academy instead. Then
you’ll regret abusing the freedom we give you. Is that what you
want?”

“
No,” Tim said.

“
Maybe we shouldn’t have
left Kansas,” his mother said.

Yeah, like there weren’t
gay people there too. But what his father said next made his blood
run cold.

“
We can move back if we
need to.”

They would do anything to
split him and Ben up, and they only knew half the truth.

“
You should be going to the
movies with your girlfriend on a Saturday night,” his mother
said.

Tim met her gaze, wondering
if she saw the jolt of fear he felt. Did she know? She must be
suspicious. She certainly wasn’t stupid. Maybe she liked Ben, but
while they were laughing through a cheesy Jim Carrey movie, holding
hands even though the film wasn’t the slightest bit romantic, she
had been at home putting the puzzle pieces together. The tears in
his mother’s eyes took on new meaning. They were tentative, an
expression of the pain caused by her suspicions.

“
Krista wasn’t feeling
well,” Tim said, his tongue feeling numb. “Girl problems. I only
went out with Ben because I felt sorry for him.”

“
Of course!” His mother
sounded so hopeful, ready to accept any other conclusion than the
one she feared.

But when Tim glanced at his
father, he saw none of that. Instead his father’s silver eyes
watched him intently, daring him to hurt his wife again. Tim knew
he couldn’t say or do anything to reassure him. Thomas would be
monitoring him closely from now on. Tim supposed he should feel
happy. He had always wanted his parents to take an interest in his
life. Now they had.

Chapter Ten

Tim pounded on Ben’s front
door the next morning, having barely slept at all, alternating
between anger and despair so often that he didn’t know who he
blamed anymore. The only certainty was that his worst fear had come
true. What he and Ben had together was ruined.

Ben answered the door
wearing the same stupid smile they shared last night, like they had
won an election or something. Tim hated the reminder of how naïve
they had been, so he said something guaranteed to wipe the smile
from Ben’s face.

“
They don’t want me to see
you anymore.”

“
What?”

“
My parents. They don’t
want me to be your friend.”

Ben’s hurt expression
almost extinguished the fire inside, but Tim had tried to warn him.
No, he couldn’t stop feeling pissed, because all of this was Ben’s
fault!

“
What happened? I thought
they liked me?”

“
They did, Benjamin, but
Jesus Christ, they’re Catholic! They aren’t going to ignore their
religion just because you can bullshit about sports or
geography.”

Ben glanced behind him,
checking to see if his family had heard before stepping outside and
closing the door. “Maybe they just need some time to—”

“
To what? Call the Pope and
ask him to change the rules for you?” Tim kicked at the concrete
walkway, trying to keep his anger from turning into tears. “I told
you this would happen. I told you they would get in the way. How
could I have been so stupid?”

“
Nothing is in our way!”
Ben sounded more desperate than confident. “So they aren’t going to
invite me to dinner again. Big deal! We just go about things like
we did before.”

“
Do we? We just keep
screwing around until the day they find us together?
Jesus!”

“
I think we can definitely
leave him out of this.”

Tim glared at him. “This
isn’t funny! My parents are going to be looking at me differently
now. Questioning why their son is hanging around with someone like
you!” Tim did his best impression of his father. “Gee, honey, how
come our son brought a gay guy to dinner and not his girlfriend?
Hm. I fucking wonder!”

“
Stop it.”

“
That’s exactly what we
should do!”

He hated the words, but he
wouldn’t take them back. They were inevitable. Ben had pushed and
pushed and pushed, and now everything was broken. Tim didn’t know
how to fix it. No one could. He turned and walked away, desperate
to put space between him and the hurt shock on Ben’s
face.

“
Don’t ever come back!” Ben
shouted after him.

Tim swore to himself that
he never would.

* * * * *

The door to Tim’s bedroom
clicked open. He glanced at the clock without shifting in bed. Just
after midnight. Their usual time. Sometimes when Ben arrived, Tim
was already asleep, not waking until he felt Ben’s body next to
his. On nights like tonight, Tim hadn’t slept a wink. He was
exhausted, tossing and turning and regretting the scene at Ben’s
house.

He rolled over in bed and
watched Ben as he undressed, moving the sheets back when he came
near. Ben lay facing him, reaching out to touch his face, but Tim
grabbed his wrist and used it to pin him, the anger and desperation
rising up and manifesting as hard kisses. Ben fought back,
wrestling him and grabbing him without permission, like two mad men
trying to violate each other. Then, at the same time, they slowed,
their bodies pressing together, the kisses soft again.

“
Why does everything have
to be so stupid?” Tim whispered to him.

Ben sighed. “I don’t
know.”

Then they made love,
comforting each other with gentle motions. In the morning, they
didn’t talk about sexuality, parents, or coming out. Tim breathed a
sigh of relief. Finally Ben had seen the truth, understood how the
world would get between them if they weren’t careful. They had come
dangerously close to losing each other, but now, with this new
understanding, they would be safe.

* * * * *

The stereo speakers thumped
with bass, family photos shaking on the wall. Everyone at the party
was shouting to be heard. Disgruntled neighbors summoning the
police was inevitable. Maybe that’s why people guzzled their drinks
down so desperately.

Bryce’s parents were crazy
to give their son the run of the house, even if it was his
birthday. Good thing the Hunters were staying at a hotel for the
night. They’d probably keel over from heart attacks if they could
see their home now. Already the house was trashed, the birthday boy
not even conscious to enjoy the chaos. Bryce’s massive form was
passed out in a recliner that barely held him, his limbs hanging
off the front and sides. He looked like a giant in a child’s
chair.

Tim turned the music down
slowly so people wouldn’t notice. No sense in the police coming
before he drank his fill. Once everyone was talking instead of
shouting, he grabbed another beer from the ice-stuffed cooler and
flopped down on the couch. Krista was across the room, flirting
with some guy who Tim had never seen. The previous boyfriend had
barely lasted a week, so she was fair game again. Krista had
followed Tim around the party until this new guy showed up, giving
him much-needed space.

To Tim’s dismay, that space
was now filled by Stacy Shelly. She slid on to the couch beside
him, raising a glass of wine in toast. No one else at the party was
drinking wine, which meant she either brought her own or had raided
the Hunters’ cabinets.

Tim clinked his beer bottle
against her glass and asked, “What are we drinking to?”

“
Ben Bentley,” Stacy
said.

Tim shrugged and took a
drink, not showing a hint of the adrenaline that shot into his
system. “Who’s he?”

“
AstroWorld,” Stacy said
next.

Tim shook his head. “I know
it’s difficult, but try forming complete sentences.”

This earned him a scowl.
“Molly Desai works at AstroWorld. Although I can’t stand her,
apparently she has the hots for you. I had the ill fortune of being
teamed with her in English class, where she bemoaned all the
beautiful gay men she couldn’t have. Really, I think the issue is
her acne, not the sexuality of her infatuations. Regardless, Molly
named you among the elite homosexual untouchables.”

Tim laughed and didn’t even
have to fake it. “Some girl I’ve never heard of can’t have me, and
that makes me gay?” But Tim knew there was more to it than that.
Stacy had already told him everything he needed to know, but still
he played stupid.

“
Molly claims she saw you
and Ben Bentley at AstroWorld together, and as you know, Ben is the
biggest fruit in town.”

Tim took another swig of
his beer. That had been what… four months ago? They had been so
careful the last couple of weeks, ever since dinner with his
parents. Now some stupid past indiscretion had crawled from its
grave to haunt them.

“
First of all, I’ve never
been to AstroWorld. Second, I think Krista can attest to just how
gay I am.”

Stacy laughed. “So she felt
your boner once. Yes, she told me about that, but for all I know,
you could have been thinking about Ben at the time.”

Tim leaned forward, close
enough that he could taste the fumes on her breath. Stacy didn’t
lean back to get away from him. Instead she moved closer, just the
fraction of an inch. And he knew he had her. “This isn’t about some
gay guy or how far Krista and I went, is it? This about you,
wondering if I can fuck as good as you’ve been imagining. Do you
want to find out, Stacy? Do you want me to take you in that
bathroom right now, put you on the sink, spread your legs, and fuck
you?”

That vicious fire was back
in Stacy’s eyes, but she wasn’t angry. She was ready.

“
Fine,” Tim said, leaning
back. “Let’s do it. But you run along ahead of me. No matter what
you’ve heard, I can be discreet.”

“
So can I,” Stacy said.
Then she stood. “Master bedroom, upstairs, last door on the right.
Bathrooms are for trash.” Stacy stood and walked into the party,
saying hello to a few people so she was seen. Then she doubled back
and headed up the stairs. Tim waited until she was out of sight,
then got to his feet and went to where Bryce was slumbering. Tim
slugged him in the arm twice, as hard as he could, to wake him
up.

“
Huh?”

“
Hey, birthday boy. Your
girlfriend wants you to fuck her. She’s waiting in your parents’
bedroom.”

“
Oh, okay.”

Bryce stood, swiped the
half-empty beer bottle from Tim’s hand, and went upstairs. Tim
grabbed a fresh one from the cooler on his way out the door. Stacy
would be furious with him, but Tim now had dirt he could use
against her. If she wanted him to keep quiet about her
near-indiscretion, then she better not utter a word about him and
Ben.

* * * * *

“
Thank you.”

These were the last words
Tim expected to hear breathed over the phone. Stacy sounded
hung-over as hell, but she didn’t sound angry.