Something Like Winter (40 page)

Ben was apologizing again,
the regret in his voice like a knife in Tim’s chest. How could Ben
regret what had felt so perfect? Tim soon forgot his pain when he
heard Jace’s response.

“
It’s all
right.”

Ben’s reply mirrored Tim’s
thoughts. “What?”

“
I said it’s all right.”
Jace was closer to the entrance and easier to hear. “I knew
something like this would happen eventually, if it hadn’t
already.”

“
I didn’t do anything with
him before!” Ben replied. “Just now, I promise.” There was a pause,
Tim straining to hear more when Ben spoke again. “Aren’t you
angry?”

“
Not really. Old feelings
don’t just disappear overnight. It’s normal that you and Tim still
find each other attractive.”

Great. Now Jace was
channeling Eric, sending a surge of guilt zipping down to Tim’s
stomach.

“
That’s it?” Ben didn’t
sound happy. “I wish you
were
pissed. At least then I could tell that you
care.”

“
I care.” Jace’s voice was
louder now. “I just thought I’d give you the benefit of the
doubt.”

“
What’s there to doubt? You
saw everything. I did something stupid, and you should hate me for
it.”

No, it wasn’t stupid. They
did what they both desperately wanted. Tim leaned closer to hear
Jace’s response, his ear grazing the waterfall.

“
I’d never hate
you.”

Nice move, but Tim wasn’t
about to let things turn sweet again. He pushed through the
entrance, grinning shamelessly at Jace as he waded into the pool.
“Hey, it’s my fault. I grabbed him and started kissing him. Ben
wasn’t even kissing back. Really. Please don’t blame
him.”

Jace nodded as if
considering his words. Then he pulled his fist back and swung so
fast that Tim didn’t even have time to flinch. Boom! Those big
gentle hands of his fucking hurt! Tim fell backwards into the
water, laid out so flat that this time his head went under. He felt
hands grab him and pull him up again, but he didn’t need to wipe
the water from his eyes to know they belonged to Jace. Tim’s head
was still reeling from the punch, but as soon as it cleared, he
would tear Jace to pieces. The asshole even helped Tim lean against
a wall so he could recover, making him all the more
livid.

Jace released him and
turned toward Ben. “How’s that for angry? Come on, we’re going
home.”

Tim looked at Ben, waiting
for him to say no, to declare his love for him. But instead he
followed Jace out of the cave, only sparing him the smallest of
glances. Tim let him go. There would be another time when Jace
wasn’t around, when they couldn’t be interrupted, and then Ben
would be free to give into the feelings they both shared. Tim
wasn’t giving up. Not now. Not ever.

* * * * *

Rubbing his jaw, Tim made
his way to the front of the park, hoping to catch Ben and Jace in
another argument on the way, but they seemed to have disappeared.
He didn’t know how. Were they going to walk back to Austin? It was
that or wait for Marcello’s party buses to shuttle most people
home.

The restaurant hosting
Marcello’s party was packed now, people trading fun in the sun for
cool drinks in the shade. Tim wished he hadn’t driven down so he
could have a stiff drink. After changing back into his clothes, Tim
grabbed a beer anyway, leaving it closed but pressing the cold
bottle to his jaw. No sign of Ben and Jace here either, but
Marcello spotted him and made his way over.

“
From the red mark on your
cheek,” Marcello said, “I take it your friend said no.”

“
He said yes.” Tim
grimaced. “His boyfriend said no.”

Marcello chuckled, clapping
his hands together. “Well, be sure to make your next move before
the dust settles.”

“
Huh?”

“
Little infidelities can
either tear a couple apart or push them together again. It just
depends on how forgiving the other person is.”

Great. Jace was
ridiculously noble and would probably try harder in their
relationship. “Round two will have to wait because I think they
took off. I’m about to do the same.”

“
Not before I blow out the
candles on my cake.”

“
Yeah, all right.” Tim
tried to put the whole incident behind him and act cheerful. After
all, it was Marcello’s birthday. But after a slice of cake he said
a quick goodbye and left the restaurant. On his way, he bumped into
Allison.

“
Tim! Where are the boys?
I’ve been looking everywhere.”

Man. Couldn’t they have
taken Allison with them? “I’m pretty sure they left.”

“
Without me?”

He shrugged.

Allison gave him a knowing
look. “What did you do?”

Tim rolled his eyes and
headed for the parking lot, Allison on his heels.

“
You can’t just abandon me
here!”

“
There are shuttle buses
leaving later.”

“
There’s a bus leaving now,
and I’m the only passenger!”

Tim glanced back at her.
They were two peas in a pod, Ben and Allison. “Come on
then.”

He was sure he would get
the third degree, but as they hit the highway, Allison had other
things on her mind.

“
Twenty-three, a licensed
lifeguard, and drop dead gorgeous,” she raved. “And he still lives
with his mother?”

“
I don’t think being a
lifeguard pays very much,” Tim replied.

“
That doesn’t matter, not
to me. He
likes
living with his mother and was talking about me meeting her. I
suggested dinner. He suggested lunch with his mom. I’m sorry, but
if you already have a lady in your life, I’m not interested.
Especially if you’re related to her.”

Tim laughed. “If he was
that hot, you could have slept with him before bailing.”

“
Only guys think that way.”
Allison paused. “Okay, so maybe women think like that too, but we
don’t act on it as much. Speaking of which.”

“
What?”

“
You know what. You did
something to chase Ben and Jace away.”

Tim shrugged. “It takes two
to tango.”

Allison sighed, shaking her
head. “Ben, Ben, Ben. Why does he never listen to me?”

“
Nothing personal, but I’m
glad he doesn’t.”

“
I bet!” Allison gave him a
playful slap on the arm.

Tim glanced over at her.
“You aren’t pissed at me?”

“
I don’t know all the
details yet. Give me time.”

Why the hell not? Tim told
her everything that had happened. She’d hear it all from Ben
anyway.

“
It’s just nostalgia,”
Allison said when he was finished.

“
No, it’s not.”

“
It is. You’re both in love
with the person you remember from high school. Have you
changed?”

“
Yeah, of course,
but—”

“
So has Ben.”

“
That doesn’t mean it won’t
work. We’re more compatible now
because
we’ve changed.”

Allison wasn’t convinced.
“That’s what you think. You won’t know until you try. Everything is
different now. When you first met Ben, he was desperate for any
kind of relationship. He would have fallen for any guy willing to
have him. After high school, he never had trouble finding a
boyfriend, and since Jace, he’s been totally happy.”

“
And yet he kissed me
back.”

“
Nostalgia,” Allison
repeated. “Maybe it could work, but to find out, you would have to
wreck a two-year relationship.”

“
Ben and I were together a
year,” he retorted, but that sounded lame even to his own ears. How
much of that time did Ben spend trying to get Tim to ditch Krista
and admit his feelings? With Jace, it was probably fireworks and
valentines from the very beginning. Maybe Allison was right. He
didn’t stand a chance.

But once he had dropped her
off, Tim’s mind wandered back to that kiss in the grotto, how more
than their bodies had caught fire. They belonged together, and Tim
wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. This time he wouldn’t
let Ben go.

* * * * *

“
We need to
talk.”

Tim tried to analyze Ben’s
voice. Over the phone he couldn’t rely on facial expression. Did he
sound wistful? Reluctant?

“
About what?” Tim
replied.

Ben hesitated.
“Everything.”

That was vague. “Okay. Like
this, or—?”

“
Can I come
over?”

“
Yeah! Of course. How about
right now?”

“
All right.” Ben didn’t
sound particularly happy or excited. “I’ll see you
soon.”

Tim paced the house for the
next hour, walking to the front windows and checking the driveway.
This was bad. Had Ben said “I
need
to see you!” he wouldn’t be worried right now.
Instead they were going to talk, but what couldn’t be said over the
phone? Of course this could be a good thing. In person, they could
pick up where they had left off.

When Ben’s car pulled in
the driveway, Tim was already out the door and standing in the yard
before the engine went silent. Ben seemed preoccupied, barely
looking in his direction. Then the car door opened and something
small and fat hopped out and ran to him, its whole body quivering
with excitement.

Tim stared in surprise.
“You got a dog?”

“
No,” Ben corrected,
“
you
got a
dog.”

Tim squatted, the puppy
doing little leaps to lick at his face. The little booger was ugly
in the most adorable way possible. Tim stroked its head and jiggled
its furry sides, laughing at the loose skin that looked like a kid
dressed up in grownup clothing. “This is a bulldog,
right?”

“
Yeah.” Ben kneeled on the
grass, the puppy running back and forth between them. “I was on my
way over here and stopped for some beer—uh, which I totally forgot
about—and there was this lady looking for a good home for these
puppies. I figure not many people have a home better than
you.”

Tim sniffed, but not
because he was moved. “What smells like pee?”

“
That would be me.” Ben
winced. “She got excited and peed all over my shirt.”

“
It’s a girl? Hm. She needs
a good Spanish name.
Pepita
maybe.”

Ben flashed him a smile,
always loving it when Tim broke out the foreign lingo. “What’s that
mean?”

“
Pumpkin seed. Sounds cute,
doesn’t it?”

Ben shook his head. “Too
random!”

Tim grabbed the puppy,
trying to get her to hold still for a few seconds so he could take
a look. The little fat body and squashed face reminded him of
another animal. “Then she’ll be my little Chinchilla! Isn’t that
right, my stubby little puppy? Are you my Chinchilla?”

The dog barked, causing
them to laugh. Tim met Ben’s eye, catching the tender admiration
there, but he was still worried. This hadn’t been the plan. Ben
meant to pick up beer for their big talk, which was probably
intended to soften the blow. But maybe Chinchilla had earned him
another shot.

“
I don’t have anything a
dog needs. Let’s go shopping!”

“
What, now?”

“
Yeah, why not?”

After running into the
house to fetch Ben a clean shirt, they piled into Tim’s car like a
perfect little family and headed to a huge pet store. Normally Tim
tried to be cautious with the money Eric had left him, but not
today. He splurged on everything a dog could need from the very
best puppy food to just about every toy the store offered. He even
ordered a dog house to be delivered—not that Chinchilla would need
to sleep there unless she wanted to.

Then they brought her home,
letting her tear into her new toys and chasing after her as she
plowed through the house. Finally, when it seemed she would never
stop peeing, barking, and chewing, Chinchilla rolled over on the
floor and conked out. Tim looked at Ben with an expression of
exaggerated relief, catching something in his expression that made
him nervous. They stood as quietly as possible, letting the puppy
snooze on the carpet as they snuck over to the couch.

“
This was a nice surprise,”
Tim said casually. “I thought you were coming over to tell me that
Jace wants my head on a platter.”

“
No.” Ben’s face became
guarded. “Jace was very understanding about everything, but there
is something we need to talk about.”

“
Oh yeah?”

“
I can’t handle this.” Now
the mask slipped, Ben looking strained. “My feelings for you, I
mean. They never went away—”

“
That’s a good thing,” Tim
interrupted.

“
No, it’s not. I love Jace.
I’ve been with him a long time, and I plan on staying with
him.”

Tim grabbed his arm. “I can
give you everything he can. More, even.”