Authors: Juan Pastor
The
Mexican wolf once occupied the Sonora and
Chihuahua Deserts, all the way from Mexico to Arizona, New
Mexico, Texas, and even as far north as Colorado. Throughout
much of the 20
th
century humans waged war on the Mexican
Wolf. As men decimated the populations of mule deer and elk,
wolves began relying on livestock for prey. Farmers, ranchers,
hunters, trappers, and various government agencies were so
successful in their extermination efforts that by 1960, the
Mexican Wolf had all but been eradicated from the wild.
Today, there are little over 300 Mexican Wolves, and most of
those live in parks and preserves in both the US and Mexico.
At least twelve still eked out a living in the desert, and their
“reina”, their queen, stood before me.
It
is still dark, but light is beginning to come to the
desert sky again. Reina Loba approaches me. The rest of the
pack at a distance, settle down near the Saguaro where
Rosaria had once been. Reina Loba sniffs at my wound. The
fear I feel is all‐consuming. And what I fear is the possibility of
being consumed while I am still alive. The wolf grabs at the
bloody remnant of my blouse, and tears it away from my
body. She begins to lick my wound where the bullet had
entered. I submit. What else can I do? Then she lowers her
broad head, rolls my body over, and begins to lick the exit
wound.
This
brings back a memory from my childhood, of a
stray dog that has befriended us, because we feed it
occasionally. One day, it is hit by a car, and some of the skin on
one side of its body is torn away from the flesh, a pretty good
area about 130x130 millimeters. Though we can’t afford it, we
take it to a veterinarian, and he disinfects the wound, and
restitches the flap of skin back in place. It doesn’t heal, but
begins to fester and smell awful. So my father takes a large
knife and holds it over the fire. I started to cry because I think
he is going to kill the dog.
"Don't kill the dog, Papá!" I beg. "Please don't kill him."
He wraps a belt around the dog’s muzzle, tells me to
hold
the dog as securely as I can, and he cuts the flap of skin
loose from the dog’s side. It is the most disgusting thing I’ve
seen up to that point in my life. We make a bed for the dog in
a back shed, and leave it there with food and water.
Occasionally the dog drinks. It hardly eats. It just licks its side,
off and on, for days. And it heals. And the fur even grows
back.
“That’s what injured canines have done for millions of
years.” My father says. “There is something in their saliva. It
makes bleeding stop, and it kills germs. You wouldn’t think it
to smell a dog’s breath, would you? But that’s the point. Think
of the things dogs often eat, and they rarely get sick from it. I
think there are enzymes, and acids, and certain good bacteria
that kill bad bacteria.”
When the wolf is done licking the wounds, she keeps
nudging at my body. When I won’t move, she comes near my
head, begins to nudge at my head with her nose, begins to lick
my cheek. Still I will not move. It’s not that it hurts too much
to do so. It does hurt. But I have now lain, almost motionless,
for 12 hours. It’s like I have forgotten how to move. The wolf
nudges, and licks, and then begins to whine. And then she
nudges, and licks, and whines some more. I lift myself onto
one elbow, with brave effort, and then fall back in the sand.
Numb. I lift myself on my elbow again, and manage to balance
myself on that arm. It takes forever, but with the wolf’s
continued insistence, which seems to be getting more and
more desperate, I manage to sit up. Then I kneel on one knee.
Then I crawl on hands and knees a way. Then I shakily stand
up. It hurts like hell, but I stand up. The wolf takes one of my
hands in her mouth, and leads the way. This is why there are
still at least 12 wolves in the Sonoran desert. They know the
Consequence Delivery Boys will be returning at daylight with
their rifles.
Consequence, or “consecuencia” in Spanish, is a
curious word. It means “with sequence” or “in sequence”. It
means something which follows something else, or arises
from it. It implies cause and effect. It has evolved to mean a
penalty, or punishment or suffering, brought on by a person’s
own actions. Yet not just anyone can deliver consequence. The
ability to deliver consequence comes with power. A powerful
person
or
group
of
powerful
persons
rarely
suffers
consequence for their actions. If a rich person steals
something from a poor person, there is no penalty. If the
wronged poor person tries to get it back, there is almost
always
some
type
of
punishment
that
comes
in
“consequence”. Consequence is the one gift the powerful are
willing to grant the powerless. It is the one thing the rich
gladly give the poor in abundance. If someone on this side of a
wall doesn’t have a rifle, and someone on the other side does,
the person on this side is the one to experience consequence.
The ability to deliver consequence is how one sets himself up
as a God. God does not have to say “God damn this, or God
damn that.” A God does not have to beseech a still higher
power. A God has the power to deliver the damnation. A God
can be the cause and effect of consequence. The wolves were
very learned about consequence. The wolves don’t plan on
being there when it is time for more to be delivered. Reina
Loba isn’t about to leave me there either.
isn’t
as lush as El Salvador or Guatemala, but it isn’t exactly a
desert either. Or, if it is a desert, it sure is one of the least dry
deserts on earth, at least considering what I’ve learned of
deserts. Maybe it’s because of its nearness to the Pacific.
Maybe because it has two rainy seasons, Summer and Winter,
whereas most deserts have only one rainy season, or none.
There
are plants everywhere. One of the first places
the wolves stop is near a growth of Cardόn cactus. The wolves
begin to eat the fruit of one of the large Cardόns. I sit in the
shade of a large rock outcropping, as it is already getting quite
hot. As I sit there I wonder about the shape of a cactus, and it
occurs to me that in morning and evening, there is a lot of
surface area exposed to sunlight. But when the sun is
overhead in the middle of the day, and the sunlight is very
intense, there is less surface area exposed on the cactus.
It
also occurs to me that cacti have no leaves, yet they
still
must
perform
photosynthesis.
But
they
have
to
photosynthesize food without losing too much water, so they
must get one of the things they need, carbon dioxide, at night.
Very interesting.
I
didn’t know then, but I do now, as I write this book,
that the Cardόn is a cladophyll, a plant that photosynthesizes
through its skin by means of modified epidermal cells. If stuff
like this bores you, pass over it, but this plant saved my life,
and God knows how many other lives over time, and I’d kind
of like to acknowledge it. It uses a photosynthetic technique
called crassulacean acid metabolism that minimizes water loss.
A single Cardόn cactus can hold up to a ton of clean drinkable
water in its pulpy trunk. When they flower, the flowers are
only open from late afternoon, all night, to early morning. And
each flower lives for only one night. So the only way they get
pollinated is through night‐flying, nectar‐feeding bats. Another
bat, the lesser long nosed bat, times its return migration from
Arizona just in time to feed on the fruit, the process helps
spread the seeds, of which there are about 800 per fruit,
throughout the desert. The fruit is about the size of a golf ball,
and has short, yellow‐white, fuzzy spines covering the outside.
When the fruit is ripe, it splits open revealing sweet, succulent,
red pulp. Besides bats, birds eat the flesh, and so do rodents,
and various wild canines that have learned it is a good source
of fuel and water.
The
fruit was a primary food source for the Seri people
of the Sonora, before Seri numbers were reduced by
conquistadores and other tribes. Since the flesh contains
alkaloids, it was most likely used as a psychoactive, probably
inadvertently at first, when the cactus was consumed as a
source of water, but later voluntarily.
The
Cardόn originally thrived in moister alluvial soils,
but learned to adapt to drier, unpredictable climates.
Eventually bacterial and fungal colonies, in symbiotic relation
to the Cardόn, allowed it to grow even on bare rock, when no
soil was available at all. The bacteria were nitrogen fixing
agents that break down rock to produce nutrients. This plant
has so evolved that it includes symbiotic bacteria in the seeds
it produces.
When
the wolves are done feeding on the Cardόn fruit,
they come to lay in the shade near me. The spots of shade are
fast growing smaller. Reina Loba drops a fruit at my feet. She
stands there waiting for me to pick it up, which I do. I bite into
it, and the sweet juice runs down my chin. Reina Loba,
satisfied, goes back to the cactus to gather more.
When
Reina Loba is satisfied that I’ve had enough to
eat, she grabs my hand with her mouth, and pulls as if she
wants me to stand up. I stand up. With some difficulty still.
She, I, and the rest of the pack make our way across the
desert.
The
desert is no place to be in the middle of the day. It
can get to be well over 50 degrees Celsius (122 degrees
Fahrenheit) during the middle of the day. It is almost
impossible to carry enough water to not become dehydrated
during any 24 hour period. Plants, which can not move, all
have defenses against the midday sun. The cacti I mentioned,
and their form, are examples of this. Almost any animal will try
to get out of the midday sun. I shuddered to think what would
have happened to Rosaria’s body had it been allowed to
remain where she died. I had heard that a human body will
start to deteriorate within 2 hours if left in the midday sun.
As
the pack and I walk, I think almost continually of
Rosaria. In a way, both Rosaria and I have been resurrected,
she in the wolves, and I in my second life. This makes me think
about the whole concept of resurrection, and the hope that
comes with it. I meditate about the “Pasiόn de Cristo”, or
Passion of Christ, re‐enactment ceremonies that were, and
are, held in Antigua every Holy Week. They seem so real, as if
one has been transported across time and space, to witness
the
actual
betrayal,
condemnation,
scourging,
flogging,
carrying of the cross down the Via Dolorosa in the Old City of
Jerusalem, and crucifixion of Jesus at Golgotha. I have
witnessed this Pasiόn several times, and each time I see it I am
filled with a certain shame for the atrocity of it, and a desire to
be a little bit better a person.
Yet
the most subtle and indelible Pascua (Easter) I have
ever spent was once when I went to visit Rosaria in El
Salvador. On Saturday we took a bus down Calle a Rosario de
Mora from San Salvador through Puerta del Diablo, Castillo del
Risco, El Penon de las Crucitas, to Santa Cruz. We camped
overnight on a cliff overlooking Playa Toluca, near La Libertad.
We watched the sun set over the Pacific, and ate some of the
food we’d brought with us. The next morning, we walked back
to Santa Cruz, bought some fruit at an outdoor market. There
was a little iglesia (church) there, and it was having a modest
Easter Mass. We attended the mass, and then walked back to
the almost deserted beach with its black volcanic sand. We
spent a wonderful day there, until a strange thing happened. A
large family arrived with a mother and father and young baby
in a pickup. But in the bed were six children, boys and girls of
various ages. We were the only people on the miles of pristine
beach. As Rosaria and I lay on our towels on the beach, and
the sun was nearing the horizon, we noticed that the family
was in some alarm. The waves here can reach 6 feet in height
on a calm day, and there is a wicked undertow for people who
are not familiar with it. I should say it is wicked whether
people are familiar with it or not. Two of the children went
missing. Rosaria and I helped the family look for the children in
the surf until the sun set. Then the family thanked us, got back
in the truck, and drove away, minus the two children, who
now belonged to the Pacific. It was lost on me then because I
am used to the names, but I had accompanied a girl named
Rosary from a place called The Savior, took a highway called
the Way of the Rosary from a place called the Holy Savior
through the Door of the Devil, by Cliff Castle, over The Rock of
the Cross to a place called The Holy Cross. We had spent the
day at a place called, in English, London Beach, near a place
called The Freedom. We had celebrated, in the morning, the
conquering of death. We had witnessed, in the evening, two
innocents succumbing to death. Everyone knows about the
resurrection. Only the family we met that day, and Rosaria and
I, would ever know about the two children, conquered by
death. Or maybe not.