Sounds of Yesterday (17 page)

I use his dark eyelashes as a focal point. His breathing is my guide. I want to watch him decide what to do next.

His breathing deepens as his fingers grip my hips harder. I give them a little shake, causing my body to brush against his.
Yes.

His eyes snap open. His pupils dilate.
Yes.

There is no sadness present. No anguish.

Only hunger. For me.

Yes!

His lips capture mine and I’m lifted into his arms. He drops me onto his bed slowly, climbing on top of me. I part my legs until he’s snugly fit in-between them. I squeeze my thighs and love the groan that vibrates from him.

After assaulting my willing lips, his mouth moves to my neck. He hooks a finger under the top of my shirt and tugs it lower, his lips traveling down my skin. His eyes are on me a second later, and I watch his tongue brush against the top of my breast. Only one bra-covered boob is out of my shirt. The playful smile appears when he holds himself up and looks down at my bra. The clasp is on the front. I swear if I didn’t know better, it’s like I knew this was going to happen. I dressed for the part. The play-with-me-and-see-how-far-we-can-go part. I fucking love this shirt.

Alex reaches for the clasp and raises an eyebrow at me.

“If you’re planning something, you better do it,” I breathe out.

He pops open my bra and drops his head, his lips capturing my nipple.

Oh, this is going to be fuuuuuun.

Ten minutes later, we’re tangled up in each other, or clothes twisted every which way, our heavy breathing filling the room. Jesus, I’m so turned on and focused on grinding my hips against Alex that I don’t hear the door open.

Alex turns his head, breaking our lips apart.

I look up. Zach is standing at the door, his eyes on us.

“Zach!” I try to adjust my shirt and clasp my bra together at the same time. There’s a fifty-fifty chance Zach just saw my boobs.

Zach stares at us without saying a word then steps out into the hall, closing the door. He looks freaked the fuck out but I’m so turned on I can’t think straight. I don’t care that he was in here. I want to continue what we were doing and go further. God, I want Alex inside me
right now
!

“Do you think he’ll mind if we finish this?” I ask, sitting back against Alex’s legs. His jeans are popped open and he’s definitely not comfortable still being trapped in them. I was just about to free him.

Damn Zach.

“Who cares. Come here.”

With a squeal, I’m pulled forward until our mouths are connected again.

“Do you have a condom?” Alex nods and sits up, not once breaking apart from me, and reaches into his back pocket for his wallet. I fall back against the bed, pulling him on me.

This is going to happen.

Holy fuck, I’m freaking out in a good way.

Alex pulls off my yoga pants and underwear in one swift motion. They should have been gone long ago but we agreed on some ‘over the clothes’ action for a few minutes. I reach for his jeans and tug hard. His boxers are the only barrier left between us. I take care of that obstacle next.

“Are you sure about this?” Alex asks, pulling away briefly, eyeing me with genuine concern.

“Yes. Are you?”

His eyes stay on my lips, he shifts between my legs. When he looks up, all worry is gone. I pull him closer and kiss him hard when he grins at me with a twinkle in his eyes. He’s ready. Finally.

The condom is on, we’re both watching him guide himself into me, and the moment we’re connected, I’m transported to a different world. It’s a world full of light and laughter. It’s a world I never want to leave.

I’m home.

It feels good to be back.

***

I stare at the small red marks scattered on my neck and boobs. The boobs are fine but come on, I can’t hide the neck ones that easily in this Florida heat. Alex should know better. And everyone thinks he’s so smart.

I walk out of his bathroom and grab the rest of my clothes from the floor. He’s sound asleep, still in the position where he’s hugging a pillow. I had to climb over him like a ninja because he didn’t want to let me go so I had to improvise.

I lean down and kiss his cheek.

We’ve been sleeping for the past two hours and he’s not getting up anytime soon. I, on the other hand, am too energized to go back to sleep. I grab a notebook of his desk and write out a note telling him I’m not sorry for stealing the donuts and I’ll see when he wakes up.

Once I open and close his door, making sure the donuts don’t fall out of my hands while I juggle my coffee, phone, and keys, I walk toward my room. It’s eerily quiet with no Sophie or Zach around. I set my donuts down and decide on a shower. As much as I want Alex’s scent to linger on me, I need to be clean if I plan on focusing on homework.

By the time I’m sitting at my desk, half a donut lying on a napkin near my empty coffee cup, and half my homework done, Sophie waltzes into the room with a knowing look. One glance at my neck and it’s clear something happened.

Zach is standing by the door, avoiding my eyes.

Yeah, he definitely saw my boobs.

“Fun day?” I ask them.

“We went to an art museum,” Zach answers, swinging his leg back and forth.

I look at Sophie for an answer to why he’s acting like this even if I have a pretty good idea.

“It was fun until Zach saw a painting and blurt out it looks like your boobs. Then it was just downright hilarious.”

I can’t hold back my laughter when Zach stands as straight as a statue, giving Sophie a look which I think says, ‘you promised not to mention it!’

“It’s okay, Zach. I did see your dick so we’re even.”

“I don’t want to be even. I don’t want to know what your boobs look like. You’re like a sister to me. It’s really freaking weird for me to have that imagine in my head.”

I grab my donut and take a bite. “It’s just a boob. Go fondle Sophie if you need to. You’ll forget about it soon enough.”

Zach shakes his head and stares at the floor, brows furrowed. “I should have knocked. I didn’t think… I feel like I violated you in some way.” I stop laughing when I notice how serious Zach sounds. Sophie does the same. Zach was always on edge whenever the rape was brought up. Him thinking he violated me in any way is no joke. He’s taking it way too hard.

“Zach.” I stand and walk over to him. “Trust me, you shouldn’t feel like that.”
Now try and lighten the mood.
“If I’m being honest, you should be proud that you finally got to see boobs bigger than a B in how many years?”

“Hey, don’t mock my boobies!” Sophie says, grabbing hers. “They’re a good size. Zach, they’re a good size, right.” She did not leave that open for question.

“They’re prefect.” Smart answer.

“Because they’re small and perky,” I add. Zach chuckles and winks at Sophie. That’s better. “Now, I’m going to hug you and rub my boobies all over you.” I throw my arms around Zach and do just that. Just not as creepy as it sounds. “Don’t ever feel like you violated me in some way. We literally forgot you even came into the room. It was nothing.” That should mean something coming from me.

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now I have to finish homework so you two either stay silent or you go to your room.”

Sophie runs over to Zach and kisses him quickly. “I have to catch up on homework too! You need to go or that won’t happen.”

“I feel so wanted,” Zach mutters, turning to the door.

“Oh, babe you are. So much. Now go away.”

Sophie shuts the door behind him and hops toward me with a cheeky grin that screams, ‘gossip time’. I quickly shut that down by handing her a donut. We’re so alike. Just distract us with food and we’ll do whatever.

It’s some time after one when I’m dressed for my self-defense class. Sophie’s coming with. I don’t know if it was a smart decision yet because she hasn’t stopped asking me questions. “Okay, the suspense is killing me.
Kill-ing me
. I need to know what happened last night. You need to spill. This is just cruel.” Sophie skips backwards as we head out of Eaton and walk toward the nearest bus station. Landon said he’ll pick us up if we’re heading to the gym. You know me and my lazy legs never turn down a car ride. “Can you at least tell me if he used a condom?” Such a weird friend I have that I love so much.

“Yes. He did.”

Sophie nods a few times, thinking of other questions I might not answer. I don’t know why I don’t just tell her. We had sex, like we used to do all the time. Soph and I always talked about our sex lives with each other. Now, it’s just…something I did and she doesn’t know about.

“Is it hard being around him?”

It
was
. I was confused, angry, and scared the moment he appeared in that elevator with me. I didn’t know what would happen between us. I didn’t know if he was going to scream at me for being a cold-hearted bitch and leaving him. I didn’t know if he was going to be terrified of touching me like he was before. I was scared of the unknown.

We’re still working on things. We’re starting over again.

We’re making progress!

“It’s so easy, Soph. He makes me happy. He always has.”

Sophie offers me a lovely smile that I know as the ‘she’s so cute and mushy’ smile that is reserved for me. I am standoffish and don’t let anyone in but deep down, I
feel
. I feel so much it pores out of me and is made into music.

“It’s so nice seeing him smile again.” Sophie bites her lip and looks away from me quickly. I don’t like knowing what I’ve done to him. I used to pretend that he was happy and found a girl to be with to get over me. It’s actually less painful than knowing what he went through. How he shut out the world and became…vacant. Alex was so full of life, I feel guilty for murdering that part of his soul. “He was annoying to be around after you left.” I wasn’t any better. It was a constant sob fest for weeks until I found Christine, and I started helping Sallie with the kids.

“Thanks for taking care of him. I owe you and Zach the world.”

“You can probably cash in your payment soon.” Sophie bounces up on her tiptoes with a Cheshire smile planted on her face. “My birthday is on Friday…”
And Alex’s is next Monday. I don’t see him making a big deal out of it.
September fourth should really be declared ‘Sophie’s Day’. She takes her birthday seriously and makes sure everyone knows it. It’s the only day she can really be conceded for coming into this world.

“I’m not having sex with you,” I deadpan.

Sophie bursts out laughing, bending over and holding her stomach.
She knows she wants me.

“God, I love you!” She rights herself and wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me into her side. “No sex. I promise.” She holds out her pinky and I wrap my own around it. “This girl in my chem class mentioned going to Key West during the weekend. She asked if Zach and I wanted to join them.”
Them?
“She’s going with a few friends.”
She’s a damn mind reader!
“I want you to come too. Celebrate my birthday and then have some fun.”

“It’ll be awkward though. I don’t know–”

“She’s super friendly! Her name is Tara. She reminds me of you, actually.”

I’m not friendly…

“Come on, it’s the perfect place for my birthday.” Soph bats her lashes at me. “Alex said he was thinking about it. He wouldn’t mind a mini vacation.” Now she’s using Alex to get me to go. Smart. “How about if we don’t hang with Tara’s group? It can just be the four of us. Like old times.”

That does seem more appealing.

“Really?”

“If that makes you comfortable, then yes.”

I think about it while I spot a black car slowly approaching us. Landon’s car. He creeps along the sidewalk until he’s almost in front of us.

“Okay,” I answer. A trip to Key West shouldn’t be that bad.

“Yeah? AHHHHH! Emily Rose Spencer, I could kiss you right now!” Soph starts planning what to pack and what we’ll do once we get there. She sounds crazy mumbling to herself but I don’t stop her. She’s in her zone.

Landon’s shiny Maxima comes to a stop and he rolls down the passenger side window. He lifts his sunglasses and his green eyes zero in on my neck. My tank top does nothing to hide Alex’s bite marks. I want to hide them and show them off at the same time. People think hickeys are trashy. I find them sexy. Only when they’re in places other people can’t see them. I’m currently sporting two along my neck so I’m not really sure how to feel about it.

“What the hell is that?” he questions.

“A hickey. Duh.” You’d think a twenty-three year old guy that looks like Landon would know what a hickey is. I mean, the dude is good looking with his ‘just fucked’ brown hair and piercing hazel eyes. He has some scruff going on that makes his jaw look like it could cut glass. And his half sleeves of tattoos add to the allure. Any warm-blooded person will agree with me. What I’m saying is he looks like a guy who gives hickeys.

“No, that little black smudge on your collarbone.”

I glance down, confused.

Sophie stops mumbling and bends down to look into Landon’s car. “We got matching tattoos! Do you like?”

Ooooh. I honestly kind of forgot about the stars for a second.

“No.” Soph stands up, straight as a board. She looks about ready to start kicking his car for saying that. “Em promised I was her tattoo guy. I feel like I was cheated on.”

“It’s my fault,” Sophie admits. “It was a spur of the moment thing and we went to a shop near the beach. Next one is all yours. Promise.”

“Yeah, yeah. Freaking traitors. Hop in.” Landon smirks as he adjusts his sunglasses so I know he’s not that heartbroken. I did promise he’ll be my guy. I’ve seen his drawings. Anyone who gets tatted by him will never regret it. The day he becomes a professional tattoo artist isn’t far. I just know it.

I hop in the front so Landon doesn’t feel like a chauffeur, and Soph climbs into the back. Since they’ve only met once and don’t really know anything about each other except the basics, Landon starts off by complimenting my bestie and her ‘hot as sin, fiery hair.’

She gushes over it and for the next five minutes we’re engrossed in Landon’s vision of a Little Mermaid tattoo design that he’s working on for a friend of his.

Landon parks his car in the back of the gym and we get out, walking toward the brick building with a sign that reads,
The Pit
, aka, hell. Because it’s a gym. It’s everything you’d expect to find in a boxing gym. The Pit is known for having a bunch of ‘macho men with huge muscles’ come in but the back of the gym is designed like Planet Fitness. It’s not so intimidating, which is what Landon’s father was going for. There’s a boxing ring that takes up most of the space and off to the side is the weights room. There’s an area that is blocked off to the rest of the gym when you walk toward the back. I call it the ‘female room’ because of the treadmills and ellipticals. It sounds sexiest but come on, it’s not every day I see a woman benching three hundred pounds. Good for her if she can but I’ll stick to the twenty-pound dumbbells that line the wall with the rest that don’t go higher than thirty-five pounds. It’s really comforting to be in here.

I spot a few women already sitting around the blue mat by the far wall of the ‘female room.’ It can fit up to thirty people, which is perfect for Sunday’s self-defense classes. The gym closes at one-thirty so the women feel safer to join. I’ve never asked personal questions to the women I see come by when I’m here but I’ve heard some of them mentioned being attacked at random while walking home at night, some were sexually assaulted, and most come to be prepared just in case something ever does happen. The classes start at two and end at four. It’s still light outside by the time we’re done, which I’ve learned makes everyone feel safer. Myself included.

I honestly never thought of taking self-defense classes until Landon mentioned it one day while he and his girlfriend were getting smoothies. He must have read something in my eyes that I tried to hide. When I showed up the first day, I made Charlie take me and he waited outside. I breathed a little easier when I saw how nice Landon and the other trainer, Bryan, were. I also breathed a little easier when I saw that we would actually hit these guys and take them down when they wore their protective gear. Being in control has become my life motto at the moment. No one will tear me down again.

Bryan is a professional trainer that knows Landon’s dad so he offered to help with the classes when they started this gym.

I feel like every woman, even males, should check out the self-defense classes in their areas.

You’ll feel so much better knowing that
you can
defend yourself.

“So Red, are you joining us or are you going to watch today?” Landon asks, nodding at Bryan as he walks toward the women sitting down.

“Do I get to hit Em?”

Excuse me.
I give her the side-eye. What a sneaky little hooker.

Landon chuckles and nods. “We’ll start off with groups of two so the women can practice some moves on each other before we bring out the suits and have some one-on-one. You can pair up with Emily.”

Soph silently pumps her fist into the air. I mentally punch her in the throat. Nicely.

“You can sit anywhere you’d like as we wait for anyone else to come,” Bryan comments, stopping beside Landon. “It’s nice to see new faces. I’m Bryan, I’ll be one of the bad guys today.” He throws in a lazy smile and holds out his hand for Sophie.

“I’m Sophie. I’ll be the ruthless bitch that kicks your ass for even thinking of touching me.”

That’s the spirit!

And now we wait for more women to join us.

***

When Landon, Sophie, and I walk out of the gym, we hop back into his car and head back to the dorms. Sophie stretches her legs out in the backseat and says she thinks she broke something important in her legs. We did a lot of kicks and have to have powerful stances. She’s just not used to pushing herself that hard. She’ll fell better after a nice warm shower.

“I can’t believe that’s what people go through. It’s one thing hearing about it. Actually seeing it…fighting them off…” I look over my shoulder at Sophie, curiously. “Being attacked. It’s fucking scary.” She turns her watery eyes on me. “What if there are two attackers? Or the person has a knife! A gun! Why do people do that?”

I reach back and pat her leg soothingly. “There’s a lot of anger and violence in the world, Soph.”

“It’s not right.”

No, it’s not.

Sophie sits up and wraps her arms around my seat, hugging me. We don’t say anything but for a change, I’m the one who says ‘I’m here’ for her.

Landon stops at a red light and glances at us before he changes lanes and takes us to an ice cream place. “I don’t think I can return you two to school in this state. How about we get some ice cream and think of unicorns flying or some shit?”

Sophie fans her face and snorts while laughing. “I guess. Em always wished she was a unicorn.”

“To stab people,” I finish.

Landon’s eyes widen and he looks around to make sure no one heard. “You two are so odd.”

I bring my hand to my forehead and I stick out my pointer finger. Then I stab him with it. Just to prove a point.