STARTING OVER (11 page)

"Unless you don't want me here, I'll stay. After all, you're going to need someone on this end of the bed to coach you through this. I've talked a couple of pilots down in tight situations, and I think this is sort of the same thing. We both want a quick and safe landing, don't we?"

Her relief was evident as she even managed a small chuckle. "Yes, we do. And I'm glad to have a copilot to help me."

Within minutes the room was crowded with people adjusting the bed, positioning large, bright lights and setting up a table for the baby's post
-birth treatment. Rusty mopped Kate's forehead and cheeks with a cool, wet washcloth and gave her slivers of ice to ease her thirst.

As the doctor urged Kate to push, Rusty kept his back to the action and his eyes focused on her face. He realized the shot had done little more than dull the pain as the final contractions twisted her pretty features. Tears squeezed out the corners of her tightly closed eyes. His own eyes were strangely moist as he dabbed at her face with the wet cloth.

It wasn't until he heard the thready wail of a baby, feeble at first, then strengthening to an angry, bewildered cry, that he looked away from her.

The doctor walked around the end of the bed and placed the red, wrinkled baby on Kate's chest.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cramer, you are the parents of a perfect baby girl. Congratulations."

Rusty stared at the tiny creature. She hadn't been cleaned yet, but she had calmed down and now seemed to be trying to focus her watery blue eyes on the bright lights. Incredibly small fingers curled around her mother's larger one, and her miniature feet kicked and moved as if she were testing her new freedom.

"She's not very big. Are you sure she's okay?" His voice sounded loud in the hushed room. Abruptly turning his attention back to Kate, he asked, "How about Kate? Is she going to be all right? Is it over?"

"Yes, Kate's fine and the
baby's fine. You both did a terrific job," the doctor reassured him. "We'll be through in a few minutes."

Rusty peered nervously at Kate. He wasn't convinced the doctor was telling the whole truth until he saw the shimmer of motherly pride in her eyes.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Kate breathed, her strength almost completely drained.

Damp, dark blond tendrils clung to her face while the rest of her hair was spread across the white pillowcase. Exhaustion was clearly etched on her features, and there was no makeup to soften the toll her long hours of pain had caused.

And yet, as he stared into Kate's face, Rusty decided she was the most attractive woman he had ever seen.

"Yes," he agreed, sharing her moment of complete satisfaction in a job well-done.
"Absolutely beautiful."

Chapter Six

Kate's eyelids felt heavy and gritty, as if she had been caught in a sandstorm. She looked around, finally concluding she had been moved out of the birthing area and into a regular hospital room. Light from the nurses' station crept around the partially closed door, providing enough illumination for her to see that she was alone in the semiprivate room. Or at least she didn't have an official roommate.

A chair had been pulled next to her bed, and Rusty was slumped over, asleep, his head resting on the edge of the mattress.

A tender smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Poor man, he had been a nervous wreck. Several times during the labor and delivery he had looked as if he would like to either escape or pass out. But he had stayed.

Her fingers strayed to brush back a reddish-brown lock of hair that had tumbled across his forehead. What a special, dear person he was. It must have been quite a shock to his bachelor system to crawl out of a swimming pool, then dive right into the ordeal of childbirth. He would never know just how much it meant to her not to have to go through it alone.

In the dimly lighted room, the planes and angles of his masculine features were highlighted. She studied his face with leisurely interest, noting its strong, clean-cut lines. A hint of day-old stubble shadowed his square jaw. Thick, dark lashes fanned across his tanned cheeks, hiding from her view his most powerful facial asset.

It was his eyes that reflected the very essence of his personality—warmth, cleverness and a real zest for life. They could calm her with a glance or cause her to break out in laughter with a twinkle. But now that they were closed and his muscles relaxed, he looked half a dozen years younger than his actual age, which meant more than twelve years younger than Kate, and at least two dozen less than she felt at the moment.

His lips twitched,
then curved into a tiny grin, as if he could read her thoughts. But since he couldn't, Kate wondered what he was dreaming about. In spite of his insistent speeches that he preferred being footloose and fancy-free, Kate couldn't help but wonder if there wasn't a special woman somewhere, patiently waiting for him to get that need to wander out of his system. He was too attractive and too nice not to have left some broken hearts behind.

But Kate didn't want to think about broken hearts. No, this was a time of supreme happiness. Her hand moved to her stomach. It was flat, wonderfully flat. Well, almost. At least it was flat compared to how large it had been this time yesterday. And she had a baby, a beautiful, healthy daughter.

Shanna Kae Cramer. For months Kate had considered and rejected names until she had decided on Douglas, Jr. if it was a boy and Shanna if it was a girl. She felt only a mild disappointment that she hadn't given Doug a boy to carry on his name.

If it was her lot to have only one child, she was delighted she had a daughter. Kate had secretly been hoping it would be a girl. It would be difficult bringing up a child of either sex alone, but Kate felt she could give a daughter more, discussing things only females understood and sharing dreams only females had. A boy needed a father, which, unfortunately, was not part of the Cramer family.

Kate wanted to know what time it was. She was anxious to see Shanna again and to hold her. Even though the baby wouldn't need food yet, her system must be trained to eat on schedule. Kate had left her watch at home. She glanced at Rusty's wrist, which was also bare, then remembered he had taken his watch off before he went swimming. That thought made her wonder if he had had time to change out of his wet trunks at any point in the evening, or if he had left them on under his jeans.

She felt her eyelids drifting closed again and knew it was a side effect of the pain medication. Her hand slid off her stomach and onto the bed next to
Rusty's hand. Without waking, he responded automatically, his hand moving to wrap around hers. Kate breathed a peaceful sigh and slept.

At some point during the night, she felt a gentle kiss brush her lips. She turned toward it, but there was no one there, making her unsure of whether it had been reality or just a dream.

When she awoke, Rusty was gone. A note left on her nightstand stated he was making the Penico crew transport and that he'd be back to visit her that evening, if possible. It also said he had called her parents and that her mother would arrive around noon.

Kate still had no idea what time it was, but the rattle of breakfast trays gave her a clue. She remembered, with some embarrassment, how Rusty had held her head and wiped her mouth when she had been nauseous last night. Except for her mother, no one, not even Doug, had ever witnessed Kate in such a disgusting situation. If that didn't send Rusty packing, perhaps he was more committed to C-Breeze than he realized. Watching a woman give birth, including all of the messy, awkward events that went along with it, was definitely not in his job description.

"When will I see my baby?" Kate asked the nurse who carried in a breakfast tray.

"As soon as you eat your breakfast."
The nurse set the tray on a table whose top she adjusted above the bed. "Moms need their nourishment so the babies can get theirs." She turned to leave the room.

"Is she doing okay? I mean, no one has said anything...."

The nurse must have recognized the insecurities and fear of a new mother in Kate's voice, because she stopped. "Your baby is doing just fine. I check at the nursery every morning when I come on duty, and when I was there earlier, your daughter was having her diaper changed. From what I heard, she has a great set of lungs.

"Her doctor and your doctor will both be in sometime this morning to give you a complete report," the nurse continued. "And I'll come back after I finish delivering these trays to change your sheets and show you how to use all those buttons next to the bed. Now eat everything on your tray."

Kate was slightly mollified. Of course, she wouldn't be completely satisfied until she could examine her baby with her own eyes and hear the doctor's reassurance with her own ears.

The nurse had removed the cover to the plates, and Kate peered at the food. She knew she must be starving because the soft scrambled eggs and side dish of oatmeal actually tasted good. She would have preferred one of the freshly baked cinnamon rolls Rusty had been bringing to the office, but she knew the hospital nutritionist probably would have faced a firing squad before she would allow sweet rolls to be served to patients. For that matter, Kate's mother would most likely have faced that same firing squad before letting her daughter have sweets for breakfast.

It would be a blessing to have her mother stay with her for the first couple of weeks after she took the baby home. Kate would appreciate the help and the advice since she knew next to nothing about babies. The books had certainly not prepared her for childbirth, so it was conceivable they had left out quite a lot about newborns, also.

Almost as soon as her plates were empty, a nursery attendant appeared in the doorway, a tiny blanketed bundle in her arms.

"How would this new mommy like to hold her beautiful baby girl?"

The question was totally rhetorical. Kate held out her arms and the nurse placed the baby in them,
then explained the process of breast feeding. She waited until the baby and Kate appeared to have the situation under control, then left with a promise to be back in an hour.

Kate found
a serenity, a satisfaction that she hadn't believed existed as she watched her daughter enjoy her first meal. The tugs on Kate's breast were stirring a healing process deep within her, both physically and emotionally. This baby was her life now. Kate could no longer afford to keep glancing over her shoulder at the past. From this moment, she must keep her eyes focused forward to her and Shanna's future.

When her daughter finished and Kate was rewarded with a loud burp, it was time for the official examination. Cradling the baby in front of her, Kate
unwrapped the lightweight receiving blanket. Shanna was pink from the top of her head to the tips of her round toes. Even the wispy, pale blond hair seemed to have a strawberry tint.

"She's going to grow up to be quite a heartbreaker."

Kate tore her adoring gaze away from her child to look at the pediatrician. "Hello, Dr. Taylor. Come in and tell me how perfect my daughter is."

She couldn't hear enough good things about Shanna. Kate discovered that a new mother has no shame when questioning people about what they think of her baby. Then when her own mother arrived after lunch as promised, she added her voice to sing the infant's praises.

All day as visitors filed in and out, Kate tried not to notice the absence of two of the most important men in her life. Of course, Doug couldn't make it. But Kate wouldn't allow herself to dwell on any maudlin thoughts.

However, she did think about the reasons why Rusty hadn't put in an appearance. He had called once, but she was asleep and her mother took the call.
Rusty's message was that the Penico job was keeping him in the air from dawn to dark, and he would stop by for a visit after she was home.

Kate knew her disappointment was unreasonable. One part of her accepted that he would be exhausted from all that flight time, especially after an almost sleepless night spent with her in the hospital. But another part of her thought he would show more interest in the baby he had helped deliver. But then, he had never made any pretense of having an interest in babies. It had, no doubt, been a tremendous sacrifice to stay with her as long as he had that night. At least his phone call had taken away one of her fears—he hadn't quit.

When she and her mother arrived at her house, Kate realized that she and Shanna hadn't been the furthest thing from Rusty's mind. He had made sure the lawn was mowed and flowers watered while she was away. All of her newspapers and the mail, neither of which she had thought of, had been brought inside and were waiting for her on the kitchen table. And when Kate walked into the nursery, dreading the sight of the crib she had never gotten around to taking out of the box and putting together, she was shocked to see it waiting, complete with a sheet, comforter and a colorful mobile for its pint-size occupant.

Kate's mother, Margie, misunderstood the tears that welled in her daughter's eyes as they stood in the nursery. "Doug would be proud of how well you've managed. Just look at this room. Everything's all ready for the baby."

Unable to speak past the lump in her throat, Kate nodded and thought how nice it would be to have Doug and Rusty in the nursery at that moment. The three of them would have made a good team. They could have kept C-Breeze from falling into such a slump. Rusty would have been the ideal second pilot that Doug had been considering. And Doug could have been like an older brother to Rusty.