STARTING OVER (12 page)

"Now you go lie down, and I'll settle Shanna in her nursery," Margie stated with maternal firmness. "I'll fix us some lunch while she's sleeping."

The trip from the hospital had been more exhausting than she would have imagined, so Kate agreed to her mother's dictates without argument. Almost as soon as she settled beneath the cool sheet of her bed, two masculine faces swirled on the edge of her consciousness. Doug's handsome features overlapped Rusty's equally handsome ones until the two men were indistinguishable from each other. A single face emerged from the mists of her dream, a man with laughing blue eyes and a shock of reddish-brown hair falling across his forehead. Wrapped in the peaceful world of sleep, she didn't question why it should be Rusty's face instead of Doug's that took over her dream. It just felt right.

While Kate fed Shanna her afternoon meal, Margie bought enough groceries to fill both the pantry and the freezer,
then whipped up a mouth-watering supper. After eating hospital food for a few days, Kate's appetite had returned, full force. Her thoughts all afternoon had drifted to the office, the helicopter and Rusty. She wondered how busy he had been and if the check Southoil owed them had arrived in the mail. And she wondered if he would find time to stop by that evening.

They were almost finished with the meal when the doorbell rang. Kate still wasn't able to move around too quickly, so Margie went to the door.

"It's about time I got a chance to meet you, young man. Come on into the dining room. I'll set an extra plate for you. There's plenty of fried chicken and mashed potatoes."

Margie didn't allow him an opportunity to turn down her offer as she kept up a running commentary about Kate's health and the new baby. However, even though his responses were limited and he was still out of her line of vision, Kate knew it was Rusty. Unconsciously, her hands straightened the collar of her robe. She had told Rusty her mother could be a little overwhelming, but she wished she had warned him about just how much.

But if she was expecting him to be intimidated, she needn't have worried. When he stepped into the room, he was smiling at her mother and complimenting her on what a beautiful granddaughter she had, which was, of course, the perfect thing to say to a proud new grandmother.

When he turned the focus of his attention on Kate, she felt a strange little shiver streak through her, a shiver that warmed instead of chilled her.

"Hi, Kate," he said. His tone was light and friendly, but there was genuine concern in his eyes as he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"As if I've done two thousand sit-ups," she responded, an unexpected shyness sweeping over her as she was reminded of all the intimacies they had gone through the last time they were together.

"Well, the sit-ups must be working. You look a lot thinner than you did a few days ago."

"So do you. Haven't you been eating while I was in the hospital?"

"Now who's nagging?" he teased, then shrugged. "I spent most of the time you were away either in the air or asleep. I was gone so much that Rebel barked at me last night when I got home. I don't know if it was because he didn't recognize me or if he was mad because I'd been ignoring him."

"Have we had that much work?"

"I actually had to turn a job down yesterday. The phones have been ringing off the hook."

It was good news, but it was also confusing. Had the oil business improved so much during the past few months? But Kate didn't believe that had happened. If that wasn't the reason, then why hadn't Doug been able to attract the quantity of flights that Rusty was? Did Rusty truly have so many more contacts?

Margie placed a generously filled plate in front of him and returned to her chair. Naturally, the talk centered around the baby. Kate watched Rusty, wondering if he was bored with the conversation. She hoped not. For some reason, she wanted him to be interested in hearing all about Shanna. It went deeper than normal motherly pride. Shanna was now a very important part of her life, and she wanted her friend Rusty, who was almost as important in her life, to share her joy.

Rusty listened with polite, if not rapt, interest. He even dropped a few knowledgeable questions into the dialogue. But when sounds from the nursery indicated Shanna was waking from her nap, Rusty immediately stood and moved toward the door.

"I guess I'd better head home before Rebel locks the door and won't let me in." He flashed his most charming smile at Margie and added, "The meal was delicious. Your daughter has been telling me what a terrific cook you are, and she was right. I see now where she gets her skill."

"Thank you very much," Margie answered. "I'll take credit for a few of my daughter's assets, and cooking is one of them. But I'll have to admit that her father knows his way around a kitchen, too. You'll have to come to Austin with Kate for Thanksgiving. We serve turkey that we smoke ourselves, and I guarantee it will melt in your mouth."

"That sounds delicious. But I doubt that I'll still be in this area then. They way things are going around here with C-Breeze doing so well and Kate's baby arriving early, I expect to find someone to take my place by the end of the summer. Then I'll probably spend the winter in California and maybe head toward Alaska next spring. I've heard it's a beautiful place."

"My uncle lived in Alaska for a few years, and he really loved it there," Margie commented, oblivious to the crestfallen expression on her daughter's face. "I'm sure you will, too." She glanced toward the nursery and said, "I'll go get Shanna now. I hope you'll come back for supper again while I'm here."

After she left the room, Kate pushed herself out of her chair and followed Rusty to the front door. When he noticed she was shuffling, he stopped and asked, "Are you sure you're okay? You're not getting around too well yet."

"I don't feel bad, but I get a little stiff when I sit or lie down for any length of time." Perversely, she added, "I'll try to hurry up and get well, so you can move to California as quickly as possible." She regretted the words as soon as she spoke them, because they sounded incredibly petulant. What she was feeling was disappointment that he was still so determined to leave as soon as possible. She had hoped the promise of a partnership might entice him to stay. It should prove financially beneficial for them both. And she thought that their quickly but deeply forged friendship meant something, but apparently, for him, it didn't.

Rusty took a step toward her and reached out. But as his fingers brushed the soft silk of her sleeve, he drew back. "You won't need me anymore after this summer."

"But I thought you cared about C-Breeze. And I thought that you and I worked pretty well together. I was hoping..."

He thrust his hands into his pockets as deeply as the tight jeans would allow. It seemed to be a substitute action to keep his hands occupied while he responded, "I do care about C-Breeze. And I enjoy working with you. It's just that I don't want to make any permanent plans yet. And the longer I stay here..." He frowned as his voice trailed off. "I'm not in a hurry to leave, but we both know I can't stay forever."

Why not? The thought rushed through her mind, but she didn't speak it. Forever was a word she hadn't used very often lately. Since Doug's unexpected death, the word had taken on a whole different meaning. There was no forever. And she didn't know why she was so upset that Rusty should agree.

"Yes, you've always been very honest with me," she agreed, forcing her face to reflect none of the conflict she was feeling. "I'll be back in the office in a couple of weeks. As soon as you feel C-Breeze is settling into a stable routine, we'll start looking for a new pilot to take your place."

For a long, intense moment, his eyes bored into hers. His expression reflected all the emotions she was feeling: distress, anxiety,
bewilderment. She wasn't sure why he was feeling those things, but she knew she was because she didn't want to accept the fact that soon he would be gone. All too recently she had lost a man who was very important to her life. And she didn't want to be reminded that she would be losing another one.

It was amazing how quickly Rusty had fit into that position. A month ago she hadn't known he existed. And now she couldn't imagine what she would do without him.

Chapter Seven

Rusty couldn't remember ever feeling so tired . . . and so confused. He lay on the bed in the master bedroom of the small house trailer he was renting and tried to sleep. But his thoughts kept him awake.

He wished he hadn't promised Kate he would give her a month's notice. Right now he would like nothing better than to be able to toss his belongings in the back of his pickup truck and leave Lake Jackson behind in his dust.

But, to be honest, it wasn't the location. As coastal towns went, Lake Jackson was friendly, upscale and conveniently
close to big-city action.

And it wasn't the job. C-Breeze was turning out to be surprisingly satisfying. He enjoyed the low-key atmosphere, the local corporate representatives with whom he had to deal, and he liked his boss.
Perhaps too much.

In every area he had ever lived, Rusty had made lasting friendships and conducted temporary relationships that were quite enjoyable. However, neither the friendships nor the relationships had ever caused him to want to stay once he felt it was time to move on. But something about this job and this friendship was different. And the difference was making him crazy.

When he tried to reduce his problems through cold logic, he could think of no reason why he should be tempted to change his plans and remain with C-Breeze longer than absolutely necessary. But there had been nothing logical about him accepting the job in the first place. And he had broken one of his most important self-imposed rules when he had become personally involved with Kate. He could have found another place to get his daily exercise, a safer place. He had known from the first moment he stepped into her life that there was something about her that touched him deep inside. It was a spot no one had ever reached before, and he had been unable to construct a wall quickly enough to protect himself.

Kate was
unself-consciously beautiful. But Rusty had known many beautiful women. She was intelligent and witty, but these, too, were not uncommon traits as proved by the half dozen women she had tried to match him with since he arrived in the area. She was strong, capable and vulnerable all at the same time, which he found unexpectedly appealing. But she was settled, her roots anchored deeply in the sandy Texas soil. And she had a family, one member who had just arrived and another member who had too recently departed.

Which brought him back to the illogical reason he didn't want to sever his ties at C-Breeze too soon.
Against his better judgment and every self-respecting bachelor's code of ethics, he found himself attracted to a woman who was not only ineligible but uninterested.

Probably those were the two things that had caught him off guard. His natural radar systems hadn't been activated because they hadn't considered Kate Cramer a viable candidate to capture his interest. He felt comfortable with her and well out of the danger zone.

How ironic that he should find himself in his current dilemma. After all those years of avoiding women who were trying to lure him into a permanent relationship, he was bewitched by a woman who didn't realize there could be something beyond friendship with him.

Her personal lack of interest in him was demonstrated in her determination to set him up with blind dates. It was becoming more and more difficult to mask his annoyance as a new woman was added to the parade she insisted on prancing in front of him. It was degrading that she should think his standards might be so easily satisfied.

He wondered what it would take to make her consider herself as a possible match for him. He hadn't had as much fun or felt so relaxed with any of the women he had dated as he did with Kate.

The more time he spent with her, the more time he wanted to spend with her. It was a vicious circle that could only result in him making a fool of himself if he should make the ultimate mistake of falling in love.

He had been busy the past couple of days. But he could have squeezed out a few hours to visit her in the hospital. However, it had seemed like a perfect time to begin the weaning process. Now that her mother was in town, Kate would have someone to keep her company and chase away the lonely shadows . . . someone other than Rusty. He could, with a perfectly clear conscience, stay away and hope that the old saying "out of sight, out of mind" was accurate. By the time she was able to spend some hours in the office, he should have a better rein on his sanity. He had never met a woman who kept his interest for very long.

And now there was another female to complicate his decision. Rusty had never been particularly fond of babies. He thought it was convenient that they were sort of cute when they were small because it gave adults a chance to get attached to them before they grew up to be obnoxious children, then unbearable teenagers.

That was before he met Shanna.

He had been there when she was born. In fact, he had seen her even before Kate had. Although he'd been facing Kate with his back to the action, he had turned around at the very moment the doctor had lifted the newborn into his arms before making the final separation of child from mother.