Stricken Desire (17 page)

“Okay then.” She slaps me on the legs and
shoves them over the edge of the couch. We both stand at the same
time and go into the only real kitchen I’ve ever known like the
back of my hand.

I crack the eggs and beat them in a mixing
bowl, she fry’s the bacon. And we both take turns pouring pancake
batter into the Belgian waffle marker that I bought my mom five
years ago for Christmas. It’s state of the art and cost me a pretty
penny but knowing how much my mom and I love waffles it was well
worth the investment for both of us.

“Woo Wee… What smells so good in here?” Stacy
says with a big smile standing in the doorway of the kitchen. His
eyes have that sexy I-just-woke-up appearance.

“Making breakfast doufus.” I tease and wag
the fork I’m whisking eggs with at him.

“You’re making breakfast? Or is this sexy
woman standing in the kitchen next to you doing it and you’re just
taking all the credit?” he teases.

“Oh, come here the son I never had.” My mom
says and opens her arms for an embrace. He nearly runs across the
room and snatches her up picking her up off the floor twirling her
around. She laughs like a child and my heart melts to see the two
most important people in my life so happy and in the same room at
the same time.

“Beautiful as ever mom. I’ve missed you.” He
sets her down and kisses her cheek. The smile on both of their
faces will forever be burned into my memories. I could almost cry
at the happiness I feel at this very moment.

“Now get back to work wench and make me my
breakfast.” He says to me when he turns around and slaps me hard on
my behind. I yelp and he laughs as does my mother.

I sit the eggs next my mom and her old but
functional electric stove. I think that thing is older than me by
maybe ten years but she loves it and for some stupid reason she
refuses to upgrade. Part I think is the nostalgia but she swears it
cooks better than newer stoves. Although I doubt that, because it’s
not like she’s tried a new one out.

“The docs office is just opening I think I
should shoot them a call and see if I can get in today.” I say
heading toward the door to call my gyno.

“No, honey. I talked to Stacy a few days ago
and I already made you an appointment for today at one. Sorry I
forgot to tell you. Completely slipped my mind.” My mom says
hunched over the stove finishing up the scrambled eggs and bacon.
Making the house smell fantastic.

I shoot a look at Stacy. Please oh please
don’t tell me he told my mom I had unprotected sex with Johnathan.
That would so ruin this week for me. He smiles and shakes his head.
It’s like he knows what I am thinking. Thank the lord she doesn’t
know or she would kill me.

We eat our breakfast at the farmhouse table.
I eat two waffles and six pieces of bacon and a huge pile of
eggs.

“Jesus Em, are you from Ethiopia?” he teases
and pinches my thigh under the table.

“No I’m just starving. I haven’t had a real
breakfast like this for a very long time.”

“I can tell and you ate the whole plate of
butterscotch cookies last night too.” He chuckles.

Oh, no I didn’t! He did. I had three. He ate
the rest and I am sure my mom had like twelve on the plate.

“No I didn’t, you did. You always eat them
all. You can blame eating too much breakfast on me but those
cookies are all on you.” I giggle and steal a piece of bacon off
his plate.

“So ha!” I rip it between my front teeth,
tormenting him. I know how much he loves bacon. Especially the
thick cut that my mom always buys and fries up extra crispy, just
like when we were kids.

“So when are you going to see your mom
Stacy?” my mom asks sipping on her coffee. She always takes it
black.

“I was thinking today sometime. Maybe while
Em goes to the docs. I think I should go by myself first if that’s
alright?” he looks at me for validation.

“Ok. If you need me there I will be you know
that.” I reach over and give his hand that had the broken fingers,
a gentle squeeze.

“I know you would. And that’s why I love you
so very much. I just think it might be better for me to get it out
of the way on my own. You hate her and I know she’s not your
biggest fan.” He leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

“You two are so cute!” My mom squeals. She
has been rooting for me to date Stacy since I can remember. But
I’ve always said we are just friends. And up until nearly three
weeks ago I thought he viewed me the same way. Things have
seriously changed since then.

“Yeah, well tell her that. I proposed
marriage like fifty times and she keeps playing hard to get.” He
nudges me with his elbow and chuckles, shooting me a sly smile. I
resist the urge to slap him across the back of his beautiful head.
So I go for a very hard pinch on his thigh instead. He rubs it and
his legs is red I can see it under the table. Serves his ass
right!

All the blood rushes out of my face. He can’t
say that stuff to my mom. She will get her hopes up and there are
no hopes to have up. I don’t want Stacy that way, EVER.

“Mom, no he didn’t. I promise.” I blurt
rather loudly and defensively.

“Yes, yes I did. She swears I am the sexiest
man alive and all but something bout the fact that I don’t make
enough money and I sleep with too many woman. I guess those are
deal breakers for her.” He taunts me more.

Oh this asshole! He can’t be doing this! Not
here!

“First off MOM” I shoot him a mean stare.
“Don’t believe a thing he is saying. Yes, he sleeps with too many
woman but that’s not why we aren’t going to be together. We are
JUST FRIENDS.” I pronounce tossing my hands over my chest.
Frustrated.

My mom breaks into a loud and contagious
laugh and I start in with her and soon so does Stacy and that
breaks the tension I felt building inside of me.

“You two are nuts.” She teases, stands and
stacks the dirty plates to take them to the sink.

“I can help clean up mom.” I say and stand up
to help.

“Nonsense you two take your coffees and go
enjoy the morning on the porch. Your dad greased the swings hinges
so it should be nice and quiet.” She waves us off to leave.

I meet Stacy on the porch both of us still in
our Pajamas after I fill up my coffee. He doesn’t do coffee so he’s
sipping on hot chocolate with more marshmallows than hot chocolate.
Something he’s loved since we were kids. I’d get the chocolate and
he’d steal all of my marshmallows. Nowadays they sell the
marshmallows separately and last year for Christmas I bought him a
case and had them sent to him in the mail as one of his
presents.

I drop down beside him on the white, high
back, floral cushioned swing my dad built.

“So you decided taunting my mom this morning
was the way to go about telling her that you are in love with me
and that she should know?” I elbow him again in the side. This is
so not over.

“Do you seriously find your mom that naive
Em? That she hasn’t known how I’ve felt for years?”

“Yes. Well… no not naïve but I didn’t know.
So how could she?”

“I think you chose not to see sweetie. She’s
no dummy. I’m sure she knows deep down already. I just like joking
around with her and I like to get you all riled up.” He smiles,
placing his cup to his mouth for a sip. Wiggling his eyebrows.

I stare over at Kyle’s house and I can’t help
but think about when we were kids. He’s spend all his times split
between my house and Kyle’s. Almost a switch off nightly.

“What cha thinkin about?” he asks.

“Kyle and us growing up. It seems so long
ago. I never liked Kyle. I wanted to. But he was so intense when it
came to you. I remember sitting on this porch swing one night when
you were on his porch.” I point over to the Kyles. “You two were
arguing about whose place you were staying at. He wanted you to
stay and play super Nintendo and you wanted to come back to my
place. He ended up punching you in the arm and you two didn’t talk
for like a week or so.”

He laughs and tilts his head back. “Yeah that
was some intense night.”

“Do you still talk to him?”

“Kyle? No, not for a few years. We lost touch
four years ago right after I started working for Stricken.”

“Is he married? Have kids?”

He runs his fingers through his hair his face
is grim. He seems uncomfortable talking about this.

“Um… Kyle was gay so I don’t think he’s
married unless it’s in one of those states that allow it and kids?
I have no idea. Probably not.”

Whoa! That was a brick seriously just thrown
at my face. Kyle was gay? I never saw that. He was so intense and
manly and dominate. But gay? Wow.

“So… Did he know he was gay in high school?
Or just afterwards?” I ask.

I seriously want to know this. I have no
problem with gay or bi or straight or blue or black or pink people.
I could care less. People are people and as long as they are happy
that’s all that matters to me.

“Yes.” He blurts and runs his fingers through
his hair again. He’s so nervous I can feel the anxiety radiating
from him.

“So…”

He cuts me off. “Kyle was the first man I
ever had sex with.”

Holy shit! I knew I was right! Stacy is Bi!
Oh my god and nothing like telling me now after ten damn years.
This is a month of revelations for him. Why I haven’t a damn clue
but it’s like one brick wall after another. I take a deep deep deep
breath in.

“Oh…” I choke out. My mouth is dry all of a
sudden. I take a sip of my coffee.

“So… was he your first all together? Or just
your first guy?”

He laughs nervously and tosses his head back
again. I can tell this is a conversation he doesn’t want to talk
about. But I am not letting up. He knows all about me. Well except
my medical problem. But everything else he does.

“You find out I’ve fucked a dude and the
first question you ask me is that one? You don’t sound mad or angry
or anything.”

Well no shit I don’t. It doesn’t matter to me
if he is gay or straight or Bi. He’s still Stacy my best friend,
the second greatest man in the whole world to me. Right behind my
father.

“I kind of figured you might be Bi Stace in
Tucson when I found out you had a ‘night companion’ and you slipped
up calling ‘it’ a him first.”

“You don’t hate me or think I’m gross because
I do guys as well as woman?” he asks cautiously. His vulnerability
is out and shining.

“No, I don’t care. As long as you’re happy
and you like it.” I shrug. I seriously have no idea what to say
about that. I’m not comfortable talking about my best friend
possibly bottoming for a bunch of men. Like buff Kyle my old
neighbor.

“So if I told you my first sexual experience
was with a boy and not a girl you’d not think I’m sick?”

Smooth Stace, real smooth. Tell me that you
had a dude before a chick by forming it in a question. That’s so
not the way I wanted to hear this come out. I’d rather get it out
and lay all the cards on the table. It can’t change things now
anyhow. Not that I’d want to.

“Stace, you must have had your first
experience with a boy or you wouldn’t be telling me this. I thought
it was with Sheila Otherton your senior year but from what you’re
saying it was someone else before that. If you want to share I am
here to listen. If not that’s fine too.” I say calmly and making
sure I choose every word correctly.

He sits is cup down on the windowsill and
wraps his arms around me tight. I pat his back and hug him the best
I can with my coffee still in hand.

“You don’t know how much that means to me Em,
you are amazing.” He kisses my cheek and pulls away.

“Well thanks bud, right back at cha.” I wink
with a grin and give his arm a good reassuring squeeze.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this forever.
Kyle was my first. That’s why when we were in high school he was so
possessive over me. We sort of dated behind closed doors for like
two years before I met you. That’s why he hated you.”

Oh that makes total sense now!

“So… I know this sounds weird but how’d did
you know Kyle was the one you wanted to do it with? Or have the
urge to do it with?” I ask and I feel all gross inside of asking. I
shouldn’t need to know this but I’ve never had a close bi or gay
friend before and this is something I’ve always kind of
wondered.

He chuckles and shoots me an over-the-top
smile.

“Oh Em, how I love you! You care for me so
much. It never ceases to amaze me. I dunno Kyle and I had a lot of
sleep overs. Known each other since first grade. So he was
familiar. One night we were sleeping next to each other in his bed
and his hand kind of accidently brushed my cock in my boxers. I
liked it enough to get a boner and that’s sort of when I realized
that I like both sexes. I’ve always checked out other men. Found
some of them to be hot but I never thought anything of it at the
time. I chalked it up to curiosity. Until that day and then I knew
different. Kyle felt the same except he never liked girls. So we
experimented with each other for nearly five years. Then I cut him
off when I moved to LA and he wanted a serious relationship with me
and I never wanted that from him. I feel kind of bad being with him
for so long and not wanting that. But I never loved him like I love
you. It was more sexual than emotional. I think with men for me
it’s the sexual need and men are so much hornier than woman anyhow
so that turns me on. But emotionally and esthetically woman are
what I prefer if I had to choose. I love the soft skin, breasts,
long hair, curves and the folds of a pussy. Cocks are hot but it’s
purely erotic not emotional. I hope that makes sense.” He says.

I nod. Everything he said made sense. Quite a
bit of information for me to process but I’ll get around to it one
of these days.

“Yeah I guess it does make sense. I just
can’t wrap my head around the fact that you bottom and you suck
dick. I mean I kind of thought you might since you’ve always been
open with telling me this guy or that guy is hot. But it’s kind of
hard to fathom. Ya know?”