Style and Disgrace (4 page)

—Abby’s Facebook

I probably shouldn’t have trusted him. A confessed murderer, a man who admitted to working with people that didn’t believe in mercy, and, most telling of all, someone my
mother
was leery of. Combine all these facts and Ian should’ve been on a permanent watch list with bells on and maybe a sign with all capital letters reading
Seriously, I’m dangerous
.

If I was to take Ian at face value, to compare him to monsters and demons of the biblical variety, then I would have to call into question everything he said. After all, devils are meant to be deceiving. According to every warning in the book (literally), they could make the most absurd lie sound true. There would always be a shadow of doubt concerning Ian and what tormented me the most was he
knew
what he was doing by telling me.

My practical side reminded me I didn’t have many options. Ian was my only link to this world and, if he was to be trusted at all, the only way I could get out of it. Without him, I’d go through these changes alone, possibly get killed, and if not, be stuck with it forever. Dad sounded like a great guy, but, in this case, I saw no reason to follow in his footsteps.

“I don’t want to risk it alone,” I said, adding quickly, “but…I’m not sure what to think of you now.”

A soft chuckle shook his chest. “This is a new development?”

“Well, no…” I flushed. “It’s just…”

He held up his hand. “You don’t have to explain. Just know no one feels your father’s death more profoundly than I do. I got the impression I was as close to him as he allowed anyone to be. Understand this: I would give my life to protect yours and to help you realize your wish, I would sacrifice much.”

“But why? Why give up the gift my father gave you to save me?”

“Because when he cleansed the remainder of that affliction from my heart, I knew the
eternal
part of me was safe…that when I pass from this place, I will not do so with taint. Those who leave this realm impure, regardless of where they go, suffer…greatly.”

I grimaced, turning away. There was no arguing
that
logic, but I still wasn’t sure I was worth the presidential security treatment. That particular horse had been flogged enough though, so I decided to move on.

“So when I tossed that person…that
thing
back from me, was that…I dunno what to call it…some kind of natural reaction or is it something I’d be able to control eventually? You know…if I decided to keep on with this stuff.”

“It was both. If you manifest powers similar to your father’s, you’d be capable of controlling and channeling kinetic energy. This means you’d be able to move objects, strike things from afar, and deflect objects.”

“That would be a useful power onstage in Texas,” I muttered. “The shoes are murder…”

Ian just stared at me.

“Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the mood after what you’ve been talking about.”

“Anyway,” he continued, “I could teach you how to channel it all and control it if you wanted. Or, you could go on as you have been. There is one piece of good news. The things coming after you at this stage will not be overt and risk exposure to the general public. Providing you’re in crowds, you should be safe.”

“Even with that operative phrase
should be
, I think that won’t be a problem. I’m scheduled to be with crowds for the next several days.”

“There you have it then.” Ian turned away, his tone dismissive. “I will ward the house before I go…that should keep you safe before the morning. Do you plan to go out?”

“No, I’ll be ordering dinner in.”

“Very well.” He stomped down the stairs. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the pre-release party.”

I had almost forgotten how he had ingratiated himself into my life. Hell, even the band was feeling a little peripheral to these recent developments. There was one thing to take heart in, though. If I was already attracting unwanted supernatural attention, then maybe it would all be over far sooner than I had anticipated. Instead of months, maybe I just had to weather a couple of weeks.

Wouldn’t that be convenient?

I sighed. Better not count on it…

Chapter Six
Fear-Related Company

I used to think love left you battered on the road without your watch, wallet, or dignity. That’s how my previous relationships have been. It’s wonderfully strange to finally know how it’s supposed to be.

—Abby’s Facebook

David called about an hour after Ian left. Apparently, the place they used to press the magazine was having trouble and they were running up against their deadline. He was organizing a crew to determine whether or not they had to find an alternative or if the equipment could be repaired soon enough to get through their required run.

“I’m sorry, this is taking a lot longer than I anticipated,” he said, genuinely sounding contrite. If any of my previous dates had made such a claim, I would’ve been suspicious. It was a pleasant change of pace to be with someone that didn’t warrant such concern. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s work, right? There’s nothing you can do about that stuff. You didn’t break it. Just…you know, be fabulous and get everyone back to work. They’ve got a magazine to print.”

“You really are amazing, Abby.” David sighed, but there was a smile in his voice despite the frustration. “Thank you. Maybe we can get together before your event tomorrow and hang out? I’ll take you to the venue if you want.”

“That would be great. Now get your ass back to work, mister! We’ll talk soon!”

My exuberance died the moment we hung up. Faced with a night alone, I began to think about my bad dreams, the weirdo who came to my door, and Ian’s involvement in my father’s death. Despite the fact I understood it wasn’t entirely his fault, that made it no less chilling and, as I sat there, I wondered if the feeling in my gut was paranoia or outright fear.

I was about to call up Sammy when the phone rang, causing me to flinch so hard it hurt my neck. Ian’s phone number lit up the screen and I let out an irritable sigh.
What the hell, did your ears burn or something?

I tapped the speaker button and leaned forward. “Hello?”

“Good evening, Abigail,” Ian said. His uptight voice was distorted by a crackle in our line. “I was just calling to check in and see how you’re doing.”

“I’m just great, Ian.” I couldn’t fight off the sarcasm. “Just hanging out here alone at the house…trying not to freak out and all that. How’re you? I trust your creepy way home was uneventful.”

“Did something happen?”

“David’s got some work thing that’s going to keep him all night,” I replied. “He was going to spend the night, but now…it doesn’t look like he’s coming at all.”

“I see.” Ian cleared his throat. “If it’s company you want, I could come over. I mean, if anything happened I’d already be there. It would be a little more convenient in the protecting-you-from-harm department.”

Part of me instantly said
No way!
It argued quickly and vehemently he was dangerous, he had killed my father, and I couldn’t entirely trust him. Furthermore, it felt that having Ian over would be completely inappropriate because David might be jealous or, worse, think I was cheating on him.

Of course, that part of me was somehow totally detached from how scared I was to be alone that night and it also was lost in my past when my boyfriends were paranoid, suspicious freaks with egos far larger than their penises. The very fact I even thought about Ian in an intimate way was a fine example of how cracked I was.

The moment that my birthday nonsense went away, Ian was following them. Out the door, down the street, do not pass go, do not collect a piece of my ass. Maybe he
was
interested in sleeping with me and perhaps seduction was on his made-up menu, but there was no way in hell I was jeopardizing something so amazing as David. If I lost him, I would literally be one of the stupidest women on the planet.

And that’s far from the truth how?

Sometimes, I really hated my subconscious.

“Um…I don’t know…” I had to buy some time. There was another part of me that had a valid argument for letting him come over.

The fact was, Ian was capable. Of what, I wasn’t entirely sure, but I believed firmly and totally he could protect me from whatever might show up. He wasn’t a low-ranking
Sphere
member, he was up there on the list. Not a monster
per se
, but someone like me…born of a
human
and raised here before coming into his skills.

Besides, he seemed rather asexual when it came right down to it. He
was
his job. That should’ve made him one of the safest people on the planet to hang out with. There wouldn’t be any expectations. Hell, there might not be anything at all. Something told me he might be a little awkward if the two of us were alone together.

“I could, of course, stay home if you’d prefer, but I know the others are a little busy tonight. Sammy and Doug are visiting relatives. Jack has a date and Wyatt took two sleeping pills and went to bed. Apparently, he’s not been sleeping very well and he wants to be vibrant for tomorrow’s event.

“Your boyfriend is busy with work and you’ve got nothing going on. So unless you think social media will be enough to keep you busy and your mind off of all that’s going on, I suggest you take a friendly offer when it comes your way.”

“Why’s your
friendly offer
feel a lot like an intervention?”

“Because I’m socially inept one on one,” Ian answered instantly. I could hear he was kidding, a grin in his voice. It made me feel much better knowing he had
some
humor. “And I sincerely believe you should let me come over. We can…watch a movie or something.”

“I’ve got a spare room.” I cursed myself for the impulsive, desperate statement. I didn’t want to be alone. There were so many options of what to be worried about, I couldn’t imagine having to face the whole night alone. Besides, I had to be alert for the pre-release party. Zombie Wright would definitely light up some message boards and I had no desire to fight
that
battle on top of everything else.

“Are you asking me to stay the night?”

“Only if it’s not inconvenient…you know, and if you want to. I mean…” I sighed. “Yes, I’m asking you to stay the night. The place is huge and I have extra of everything but clothes, so if you bring some stuff, it won’t be a big deal.”

“Lucky for you I can come and go undetected.” He was teasing me again and it made me grit my teeth. “We don’t want to cause a scandal.”

“Yeah, let’s avoid that.” I rolled my eyes. “Just…if you’re coming, then get over here. I need to make dinner…or something. I’m starving.”

“I’ll see you in ten minutes.”

* * * *

I spent the time tidying up the house even though it really didn’t need it. Five minutes in, I started to question a few things. My sanity was at the top of the list. What the hell was I thinking inviting
Ian
over after everything we’d talked about? Couple that with impulsively inviting him over to stay and I truly felt like I had lost my mind.

Previous boyfriends would not have been cool with that at all and back then they would’ve had good cause for concern. It wasn’t that I was a slut, but the younger version of myself had a similar proclivity toward promiscuity that men did. I was easily distracted by
the next big thing
and that was usually a recipe for total disaster.

I wanted to say I wasn’t like that anymore, but the truth of the matter was, I had no idea. David was certainly the best thing that had ever happened to me and I would be the first person to admit I was in love with him. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop my mind from wandering. Was I a bad person for thinking about it or was this a defense mechanism designed to
prevent
me from being stupid?

Yeah, that’s likely. Sometimes, regardless of how hard I try, I’m still my mother’s child and that means moments of epic irresponsibility. I let out a long sigh and flopped on the couch. I have to get myself together. This is out of control. I’m not a soap opera character for God’s sake!

A knock at the door replaced my thoughts with a sense of panic. I heaved myself up, wiping the sweat from my hands against my hips. The doorbell rang and I tried to shout I was coming, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and belted out in my loudest voice, “Hold on!”

I peered through the peephole. It was Ian, standing a few paces away from the door looking out at the street. He was dressed differently than earlier, this time in an off-white blazer, matching slacks, and dark brown shoes. His shirt was neatly pressed, unbuttoned at the throat, and his blond hair was neat but for some rogue bangs resting on his forehead.

I opened up and stood to the side, motioning for him to enter. “Hey,” I said, feeling lame, “um…I’m glad you could come.”

“Thank you.” Ian stepped inside. He grinned at me and, for some reason, it seemed odd on him. Surely I had seen him smile, but I couldn’t remember the occasion. He was so serious, so severe any levity outside of sarcasm was out of place. That assessment made me feel bad but I couldn’t help making it. “So…what’s for dinner?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I
could
make something, but I’d rather order out. I’m feeling lazy.”

“Do you actually have anything in the house or would we have to go out either way?”

“No, the fridge is stocked up. Why?” I smirked. “Are you suggesting
you’d
cook?”

“Why not?” Ian replied. “Which way?”

“Are you serious?” I gestured vaguely in the direction of the kitchen. “Just through there, but…I mean, you don’t have to. You know, there’re plenty of delivery places.”

“I think we want to avoid strangers showing up at the door, don’t you?” There was a sting of truth to that statement, but he was smiling as he said it. He probably meant for that to lessen the gravity of it, but it had the opposite effect. “Honestly, it’s not a big deal. I’m a good cook. I’ll show you.”