Super Sexual Orgasm: Discover the Ultimate Pleasure Spot: The Cul-De-Sac (5 page)

their partner didn’t know what he did and couldn’t stimulate the G-spot again

unused to the phenomenon, the women were afraid to try the position again that stimulated the “gusher”

unused to the phenomenon, the women consulted their physicians who told them they had lost bladder control and urinated during intercourse and advised them not to try that position again.

Let me make this unmistakably clear to you:
Having a “gusher” is an ecstatic and natural experience for every woman.

With your new understanding of the G-spot in mind, let’s now locate it using a dildo.

Start with a full sensate focus body caress. Lie on your back with your legs apart and your knees resting against your body. Take the lubricated end of the dildo gooseneck and insert it softly into your vagina. Move the dildo so that the end points toward the G-spot. Insert the dildo against the spot so that you feel a slight tug. Keep up the easy tugging motion as you tighten your vagina and the PC muscle and ever so coyly tease your G-spot by lightly pulling the dildo out of your vagina. Gradually tease your G-spot more and more by rubbing and tugging harder and harder. Stay on the edge of orgasm for as long as you can this way. Your uterine and PC muscles will gain in strength as you tease and tug. With at least an hour of

40 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

weekly exercise like this you will learn how to exert a lot of pressure against the G-spot and learn to trigger a “gusher.” You will also heighten the responsiveness of your PC muscle so that you can orgasm almost immediately upon penetration.

You don’t have to have a “gusher” to have a super sexual orgasm, but the combination is hard to beat. So, if you’re up for it, try this next G-spot exercise too.

Bend the tip of your flexible dildo and place the suction area on a flat surface. After your sensate focus warm-up, kneel or squat on top of the dildo and insert it so you are stimulating your G-spot. Increase the pressure by rubbing sensuously against the G-spot. If you are attuned, you can actually feel it swell. Now change your position so you hook the curve of the dildo into your G-spot. Thrust so that the dildo feels like a very sexy hook tugging at your G-spot. Take slow, luxurious breaths as you move toward enhanced excitement and arousal. As you peak toward orgasm, thrust all the way down on the dildo. At this point you may experience a gushing of G-spot fluid down your legs. At the very least, you will experience a lot of lubrication, much more than you are accustomed to. With practice, this exercise can result in a fantastic guaranteed “gusher” for you.

Waiting to Exhale

As I’m sure you know by now, the secret to super sexual orgasm lies waiting in the cul-de-sac, the next area of focus in our sensual explorations. (It’s about time!) But first, a brief review: Contrary to popular belief, the

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 41

vagina does not end at the cervix and uterus but in fact continues through to the cul-de-sac (which comes from a French word meaning “bottom of the sack”). When you are not aroused, the uterus rests on top of the vagina about two-thirds of the way back, compressing the passage. When you become aroused, however, the muscles supporting the uterus can tighten, lifting the uterus up and exposing the cul-de-sac from its regular resting place behind the cervix…
but only if you are “SSO fit.”
And now you are! So it’s time to discover the cul-de-sac! Drum roll please …

The following exercise is designed to help you identify the cul-de-sac and the uterine muscles that, when properly controlled, will make your cul-de-sac available to you during intercourse. This exercise involves what I like to call vaginal breathing. And what you are going to do is exactly what it sounds like: inhale and exhale with your vagina. Again, may I remind you that this is a natural process derived from your body’s innate functioning. As we get into the exercise, some of you may even express signs of recognition at what is going on, as you’ve probably felt the sensations before but just never had a name to put to them. The thing to remember is that we are not doing the exercise to experience vaginal breathing per se. The breathing is an indication that your muscles are flexing and releasing properly in order to allow your cul-de-sac to open when you want it to during intercourse.

Again, starting from a place of relaxation and ease, lie on your back with your knees bent toward and against your body as far

42 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

as they will comfortably go. If you prefer to keep your knees up and your feet flat on the floor, that is fine too. When you are settled, tighten your PC muscle. Find your lower abdominal muscles—I call them uterine muscles because you can feel their placement above your uterus—and tighten them along with your PC. As you tighten, visualize yourself inhal-ing air into your vagina. Hold for a few seconds and then visualize yourself releasing the air in a full and complete ex-hale. Repeat this several times. Rest. Then repeat again. As with the PC muscle exercises, do a series of gentle repetitions the first week and then build week by week toward a regimen of twenty repetitions three times a day. You can feel, as you lie on your back and tighten your PC and uterine muscles, a squeezing in your lower abdomen. This squeezing and releasing is the secret to cul-de-sac availability.

Now, understand, this may not be an easy exercise for you to master all at once so do not become frustrated or impatient. We are dealing with subtleties here and you have to allow yourself the space, time, and, most important, opportunity to learn. If you are just not feeling that you can inhale and exhale through your vagina, try this: Do a variation on a shoulder-stand by positioning your head and elbows on the floor with your rear end angled upward. When you have gotten there, move yourself immediately out of this position and down onto your back. Do you experience a rush of air out of your vagina? This is the sensation you are going to stimulate with the tightening and releasing of the PC and uterine muscles simultaneously. Now try lying on your back again and

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 43

flexing and releasing the PC and uterine muscles gently and steadily.

All Together Now…

You are now ready to put all you’ve learned so far in this chapter together into one single sensuous exercise, complete with cul-de-sac penetration. This is a turning-point exercise, so prepare.

Ready yourself with an entire, languidly erotic fullbody sensate focus caress. Lubricate your flexible dildo and use it to begin a genital caress. Take extra time with your genital caress and make sure to play with your PC muscle and G-spot, although not to the point of having a “gusher.”

Making sure your knees and feet are in a comfortable position you identified for yourself in the previous exercise, gently insert the dildo beyond the G-spot and into the end of the vagina. To find the cervix, move the dildo until you feel it rub against the knobby surface that yields a cramping sensation. Explore the cervix to find how bard you can thrust against it or if you enjoy sensations in that area at all.

Now, as if you were having intercourse, thrust the dildo into yourself and, at the same time, flex your PC and uterine muscles simultaneously. The extra one-half to three-quarters of an inch of the cul-de-sac will open to penetration, and then close off around the dildo. Don’t panic, it is not stuck there and you can always pull it out. But feel how with a light tug it still stays in position. Keep that pressure on the dildo as you keep your tugs gentle. With practice, you will be able to tighten your

44 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

muscles so that you can tug harder on the dildo without pulling it out. Explore the wonder of sensations and feelings this new territory of your very own undiscovered body gives you.

Don’t be surprised if your body explodes into a dramatic climax at the completion of this exercise. After all, you have penetrated the cul-de-sac. But don’t feel let down if that doesn’t happen. While some women will have an explosive orgasm from dildo penetration, the majority will not…not yet. Your body is still adjusting, and your training is not complete. Still, the sensations from this exercise are going to be incredible. So enjoy them.

A more challenging, but extremely fulfilling, variation on this exercise involves working with a dildo with a suction base. Give it a try.?

After starting with a sensate focus body and genital caress, attach the suction-cup base of your lubricated dildo to a clean, smooth surface and lower yourself onto it bit by bit. Play with your PC muscle by moving up and down on the dildo as you flex, hold, and release. Lower yourself far enough now to have the dildo rub and then tug against your G-spot. You may need to curve the head of the dildo to do this. See if you can stimulate it without going all the way to a “gusher.” Now stimulate the cervix with the dildo and then move on to tightening the PC and uterine muscles simultaneously as you slide the dildo all the way into the cul-de-sac. Let the cul-de-sac latch on to the dildo and move gently up and down on it,

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 45

feeling the gentle thrusting motions as the dildo tugs against the pull of the cul-de-sac. Enjoy the pure physical delight of it all.

Please understand that from this position, it is more difficult to make the cul-de-sac available. But with practice, kindness, and patience you will get there. Don’t pressure yourself to “do it right” the first time. Don’t look to have an orgasm. And certainly don’t look to have a super sexual or-gasm. Just explore your reactions and value whatever experiences come your way. Learn about the different aspects of your sensual potential. Take as long as you like and repeat both of these cul-de-sac exercises a few times each week be-fore moving on to the next chapter.

3
‌

MOTION

Rhythm, timing, pacing, position: You didn’t realize there

47

48 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

were that many details and fine points to the experience of lovemaking, did you? That’s okay. You’re not the only one. The majority of people do not understand the primary importance each of these elements plays in the enjoyment of an intimate encounter, let alone an SSO encounter. But they are
all
important.

It’s a fact: Even the most gorgeous people do not make for gorgeous lovemaking if those people are out of sync or in the wrong place at the wrong time. And you can have all the moves and grooves down to a
T
, but if the approach is off-speed, your bang will turn into a bust. But we’re not going to let that happen. You
are
going to reach your goal of discovering your fullest sensual potential. You just need to first learn a little bit about the motions that will get you there.

Walk Don’t Run

Most people think good sex is fast and riotously turbulent: slam bam, thank you ma’am. That’s the way it’s portrayed in the media, right? Well, it is true that good sex can sometimes be fast. And I certainly would give my eye-tooth to have been a part of some of the passionately breakneck ren-dezvous I’ve watched on the silver screen. However, in the real world, the most luxurious, excruciatingly delightful, nerve-tingling, explosively fulfilling, shimmering cascades-of-lights-flashing-behind-the-eyes sex grows out of an approach that is
slow, focused
, and
caressing
. The greatest orgasmic payoffs come from moving your body symbiotically with your partner’s body—

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 49

gently, undulatingly, and sinuously. And if these adverbs don’t seem to apply to you or the one you love, don’t despair. We’re going to change all that with the simple exercises you are about to learn.

In the course of this phase of your journey toward discovering your fullest sensual potential, you are going to find out how much subtle yet powerful control you can bring to the process of your own excitement and orgasm by working with the elements of rhythm, timing, and pacing. You are going to learn every facet of what makes you aroused, how to escalate your pleasure increment by increment, adjust it in keeping with your partner’s arousal if you want to, and then finally, when you are ready, find release through or-gasm. You are going to practice working with your motion and energy so that your union will be as satisfying as possible. And you are going to learn about how to best position your body during lovemaking in order to engage every muscle and sinew into your hypnotic sexual dance.

You are about to enter the advanced circle of lovemaking knowledge that will ensure that each one of your liaisons will be fantastic, always different, and continuously surprising. You will be able to magnificently satisfy yourself and your partner every time and every moment you make love. To borrow a little lingo from the world of television, once you have moved into this advanced circle of lovemaking knowledge, there will be no more repeats for you, only original sexual programming.

Let’s start developing your show right now.

50 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Places Everyone

In real estate, they say the three most important things are location, location, location. To achieve a cul-de-sac SSO, the three most important things are position, position, position. If this sends you into a tailspin of concern that you aren’t up to swinging from the chandeliers or doing the wild thing on the top of a pool table,
stop worrying now
. It’s all much more simple than you imagined. And when you experience the results, well, you might just be jazzed enough to hop on the nearest chandelier. (You go, girl!)

Here’s a news flash: When it comes to having an orgasm, particularly a super sexual orgasm, all intercourse positions are not the same. Certain positions are far more likely to provide the stimulation you need to have an SSO. You have your preferences of course, and I don’t want to dissuade you from continuing to enjoy them. Just know that it will be much more difficult to have the cul-de-sac open in all but the positions I am about to describe.

But first, another news flash: The missionary style of intercourse is the position
least
likely to bring a woman to climax (which would account for why so many woman describe their sexual lives as only moderately pleasurable). The problem with the missionary position, more than anything, is a motion problem. In this classic sexual position, where the woman lies with her legs straight out and her partner lies on top of her, it is difficult, if not impossible, for a woman to move her pelvis. The only way she can thrust is to tense her leg muscles, and this tension prevents her from relaxing into arousal. Limited

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 51

motion means limited feeling, and that means limited pleasure.

You are already working very hard to complete many new exercises and learn new techniques. You want this hard work to pay off, and that payoff might not happen if your intercourse position is working
against
your SSO.

Kick up your Heels

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to transcend the missionary position and head for more fertile ground. Bear with me for a moment and put aside everything you’ve ever heard of or experienced about the physical positions of lovemaking. I am going to tell you now about a lovemaking position very few people practice, not because it is difficult or bizarre, but because it’s so simple—people just tend to overlook it. Yet this position is your ticket to transcendence, providing you and your lover the best possible alignment of your bodies to consistently achieve SSO.

The intercourse position I recommend starts with you lying on your back with your knees bent and your legs up in the air. Your partner will kneel between your legs using his knees to support his weight (this is very important, as it keeps you more free to move). You can rest your legs on your partner’s shoulders or you can have your calves rest against your thighs. In this configuration, penetration will stimulate your PC muscle, G-spot, cervix, and cul-de-sac. The kneeling position also allows for the deepest penetration by the man. In this position, he can

52 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

always also withdraw his penis and use it to stimulate your clitoris and urethra.

This position takes a little getting used to, but once you are comfortable with it, you will be amazed at how powerful, confident, sensitized, and sexy you will feel. You may want to introduce this new position to your partner the next time you are making love. This will give you both ample opportunity to get comfortable with the position before setting your sights on your first super sexual orgasm.

The Missionary Rides Again!

Now at first, some of you just may not be able to give up the missionary position in favor of the alternative I just described. If you are a devotee of the missionary life, here is a subtle adjustment you can make to that traditional position that will significantly increase your chances of having a gratifying orgasm.

Once your partner has inserted his erect penis into you as he normally would in intercourse in the missionary position, your partner will move his entire body up on top of you about two inches. He will be, as they say, “riding high.” Your partner’s pubic bone will rest above yours so that the base of his penis presses against your clitoris. This provides a sensuously continuous stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse.

The type of thrusting done in this “riding high” position is actually very slight, more like gentle, surging, circular motions. Your pelvises will move, but the rest of

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 53

your bodies will not. And since your bodies’ range of motion is restricted, you will tire less quickly and can continue your lovemaking well into the day or night.

Arousal by Numbers

In order to achieve SSO and discover your fullest sensual potential, you need to marshal all your sexual energies. And in order to do this, you have to be intimately familiar with your personal process of arousal. We will explore the concepts of peaking and plateauing—first going solo, with only you doing the exercises, and then with your partner—as a means of deciphering the exciting mysteries of your personal sexual arousal script.

Now, I caution you, this is the part of the learning process that may seem especially mechanical at first because you are having to actively think about what you are feeling instead of just feeling it. And there is also an “arousal scale” that you will need to keep in mind (more on that in a moment). Just trust me that once you understand the workings of your arousal, all the mechanics will dissolve and you will be left with a healthy knowledge of what makes you feel good and the ability to bring yourself that pleasure every time you make love.

Think of your levels of sexual arousal on a scale from 1 to

10. On this scale, level 1 is no arousal and level 10 is orgasm. A twinging feeling in the genital area will be 2 or 3 while 4 is a steady low level of arousal. When you are at 5 or 6 you are in the medium range and by 7 and 8 your heart will pound and you might be slightly short of

54 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

breath. At 9 you are just on the precipice before orgasm, and at 10 you have reached your climax.

Please understand this is not a
performance
scale but rather a
magnitude
scale that will give you a means of tracking the intensity of your arousal. Your 1 and your 10 will be different from everyone else’s. So just give up thinking in terms of comparisons and concentrate on yourself.

Climb Every Mountain

You are now going to explore what arousal means to you through the process known as peaking. You will caress your own genitals and learn to modulate your arousal so that it goes up and down in a series of peaks that are under your control. In this first exercise, and all the exercises to follow, you are going to want to make sure you have at least one hour of quiet time, in an interruption-free environment.

Begin a slow sensate focus genital caress, paying close attention to the point of contact. Make sure to breathe and to relax all your muscles. Keep asking yourself what arousal level you feel you are at as the caressing continues. Do not try to reach a particular level of arousal. Just note what you are feeling and make your best guess where that would be on the arousal scale of 1 to 10.

Go slowly. Be gentle with yourself. Keep your fingers, wrists, and arms supple. If your attention drifts, consistently bring it back to the sensations you are feeling at the point of contact. If at the end of this exercise you want to have an or-gasm, go ahead.

SUPER SEXUAL ORGASM / 55

In this next exercise, you will actutally peak.

Start your slow sensate focus genital caress. Caress your genitals past the twinging stage (level 3). Then stop the stimulation and allow yourself to drop back to arousal level

1. Start caressing yourself again, and this time go up to level
   

5. Stop the stimulation again and allow your arousal to drop a couple of levels. Repeat this cycle, each time taking your peak to a new level, all the way up to level 9. Try to make each cycle of peaking and dropping last for five minutes. You can conclude the exercise with an orgasm if you like but it is not mandatory.

Repeat this peaking exercise once or twice a week until you feel you have a good measure of control over your arousal. I want you to be loving to yourself during these exercises. This is very intimate, personal work you are doing. Be patient with yourself and resist the temptation to just caress yourself straight to orgasm. You may find that with practice, your orgasms are becoming stronger. The whole process, you see, engages, charges, and focuses your sexual energies, which are essential to SSO.

From the Mountains to the Valleys

Now that you have mastered the art of peaking you are ready for plateauing. Plateauing is just like peaking except that you hover at each level of arousal for a while, creating a plateau. Remember to take your time. Do each exercise for three weeks if that’s what it takes for you to get comfortable with the process. And enjoy your—

56 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

self. Let yourself be in the right frame of mind to get the art of plateauing under your belt.

Start this exercise, as you have started all the exercises in this chapter, with a sensuous genital self-caress. Relax your muscles and take long, luxurious breaths. Comfortably allow your arousal to go to level 4 and try to stay at this level for thirty seconds. Bring yourself to just above 4. Slowly take two deep belly breaths. This will allow your arousal level to go down. Let it go to 3 and then start to accelerate your breathing till you pant so as to increase your arousal level back up toward 4. Hover between 3 and 4 for thirty seconds or more just by speeding up your breathing.

Repeat this exercise several times, each time choosing an increasingly higher plateau level to reach and then drop from. If you find the higher levels are difficult for you, focus your attention on the highest level you can comfortably plateau at for at least a week. Then try a higher level. You will find that with increasing body awareness, focusing, breath work, and muscle strength, plateauing at the higher levels will become natural and comfortable for you.

Rock On

In this exercise you will adjust your arousal level through pelvic movements. The basic principle is that greater movement will heighten arousal while decreased move—