Susanna's Christmas Wish (13 page)

“
Yah
, I guess you could say so,” Deacon Atlee allowed. “But I’m glad to hear that everything was done properly.”

“So what is the problem with Matthew?” Herman asked. “Were you and the bishop concerned that Susanna conducted herself inappropriately with him over Thanksgiving?”

“
Nee
,” Deacon Atlee said. “I didn’t know about Thanksgiving.”

“I see.” Herman fell silent.

Susanna almost smiled. Herman knew Deacon Atlee hadn’t known about the Thanksgiving gathering, and he probably brought it up to show that he was aware of Matthew and Susan’s previous involvement. It had clearly thrown the deacon off his stride.

Herman was now looking quite innocent as he pulled the quilt tighter around himself.

Deacon Atlee noticed the movement and shifted in his rocker. “I don’t wish to keep the two of you longer than necessary, but I do need to clear this matter.”

“
Yah
,” Herman said, as if he were in perfect agreement. “But I’m still not sure what ‘this matter’ is.”

“Well…” The deacon let out a breath. “Matthew came to speak with Bishop Jacob that evening—on Thanksgiving. Matthew was seeking to clear himself of things in his past. Confessions of a private nature occurred. Feelings of bitterness he had harbored, words they had spoken harshly to each other. Each apologized to the other, and much was accomplished toward better Christian feelings between the two of them.”

“Is Matthew coming back to the community?” Herman asked.

“I wish I could report that,” Deacon Atlee said, “but I cannot. The progress they made in repairing relationships didn’t reach to the level of the church. I doubt Matthew is willing to make the necessary changes to return.”

“I agree,” Herman nodded soberly.

Susanna would have smiled at Herman’s tactics if her heart hadn’t been sinking so fast. They were getting close to the real reason Deacon Atlee was here, and she didn’t like the direction of this conversation.

“Matthew also shared with Bishop Jacob about the close relationship he used to have with your
frau
, with Susanna,” Deacon Atlee said. “Which we can understand, of course, since they were near marriage from what Matthew said. Is that true, Susanna?”

Susanna swallowed the lump in her throat. “
Yah
, we had plans.”

“But that was well known.” Herman spoke up, obviously protesting the content of the conversation.

He might as well not, Susanna figured. Deacon Atlee was going to carry on and ask his questions.

“We didn’t have an inappropriate relationship,” she said, not looking at Deacon Atlee. “I’m sorry if Matthew told Bishop Jacob something untrue.”

“Matthew didn’t say you did anything wrong,” Deacon Atlee said. “But the bishop and I wanted to make sure. We hoped with all our hearts there was no basis for that kind of allegation.”

Susanna felt her face turning red. Never had she spoken about such an intimate subject except with Matthew and Herman, but she might as well get this over with. “I was once in love with Matthew. This I admit to you, and I have told Herman all about it. But
Da Hah
has changed my heart and kept me from following Matthew into the world. During our time together, we did the things couples do who are in love, I suppose. We held each other, kissed each other, but we were never inappropriate. Neither Matthew nor I wished for such a thing.”

“I’m glad to hear this,” Deacon Atlee said. “Bishop Jacob feared the worst after his conversation with Matthew. Sometimes things are said that one doesn’t know quite how to take. Bishop Jacob was afraid Matthew was holding back a full confession because of his regard for you. I hope you understand and forgive us for feeling the need to check with you.”

“It’s okay,” Susanna whispered, her face still burning. She would be blushing every Sunday for years now, knowing Deacon Atlee had heard her talk about such things. But it was better this way. She had to clear her name, and she also needed to affirm Herman’s. He didn’t need any accusation hanging over him that his
frau
had been inappropriate before he married her.

“How do you feel about this matter?” Deacon Atlee asked Herman.

“Susanna has been completely open with me on this matter, as well as on others,” Herman said. “She has told me about her relationship with Matthew in enough detail to satisfy me, and I have no reason to doubt her.”

Susanna could have kissed and hugged him right in front of Deacon Atlee, but that would definitely not help matters.

“Well, Herman, I hope you’ll be better soon.” Deacon Atlee rose. “And I hope I haven’t caused you grief. I know my heart is much lighter, and so will Bishop Jacob’s be when I talk to him tonight.”

Susanna scurried to the bedroom while Deacon Atlee shook Herman’s hand. When she returned, she held his coat for him. “Thank you for coming. I’m glad this matter is over with.”

The deacon smiled and pulled the coat over his shoulders. “I wish nothing but the best for both of you. May
Da Hah
give you His highest blessings.” He left, closing the door behind him.

Susanna waited until his buggy was halfway out the lane before she climbed into Herman’s lap. In relief she sobbed into his shoulder. He wrapped the quilt tightly around both of them.

E
arly on Monday morning Susanna had her first load of wash on the line, snapping the last piece on with a flourish. She rubbed her hands together, blowing on them for warmth. The snow from last week was gone, but there was still a nip in the air. Clearly winter was setting in early, and Christmas would be here before long.

Herman was recovering slowly. He had insisted on getting up for the chores this morning. She had persuaded him otherwise, convincing him also not to attend church services yesterday. There was no sense in spreading around whatever he had if it was contagious.

“Not everyone wanders around in the woods most of the night in a snowstorm,” he’d muttered.

“That just weakened your body’s defenses,” she’d told him. “You still caught something, and you don’t want it passed on.” That had been enough to convince him, and Susanna had figured that secretly Herman had been grateful to stay home, though he would have been the last one to admit it. Likely a trait he picked up from his stubborn family. His
mamm
probably took her children to the services even if they were burning up with fever. Susan took a deep breath. She really needed to calm herself. Herman’s
mamm
, Iva, was coming over this morning. The way the woman had huffed and puffed yesterday when Herman wasn’t in church was enough to chill a body to the bone. Clearly she thought Susanna didn’t measure up to her idea of a
gut frau
—either by not forcing Herman to come or by leaving her husband at home sick while she went to church.

Susanna had attended only at Herman’s insistence. She could have told Iva that, but she hadn’t. What was the use? The information wouldn’t have penetrated all the theatrics. Susanna would have desired nothing more than to sit on the couch at home beside Herman all morning, seeing that he stayed warm and keeping his hot chocolate cup filled.

Susanna smiled. Herman was addicted to her hot chocolate. He had sputtered a protest about it last night, sounding a little like his mother. “You’re going to spoil me completely. I won’t even want to work in the fields after all this mothering.”

Susanna picked up the clothes hamper. Her smile lingered. Herman was also becoming addicted to
her
, and that was quite a
gut
feeling.
Da Hah
was answering her prayer.
Yah
, in strange ways, but it was being answered. She was finding a deepening and ever-growing love in her heart for Herman. And the man was so nice to her. He couldn’t be any better if he tried. Missing Christmas with her family was a small price to pay for such a
wunderbah
husband.

Halfway back to the basement, Susanna paused. She heard buggy wheels clattering into the driveway. She turned and saw Herman’s
mamm
, all wrapped up in a buggy blanket even though it wasn’t that cold. Her bonnet strings were tied so tight that her chin bulged. My, the woman was out early. Susanna thanked
Da Hah
that she had at least one load of wash on the line. One less reason for Iva to think poorly of her. But there would be something else, no doubt about that.

Susanna went forward to greet Iva. She was Herman’s
mamm
and must be made to feel welcome.

“
Gut
morning!” Susanna sang out.

“
Gut
morning,” Iva replied. “How’s Herman doing?”

Susanna grabbed the horse’s halter as Iva climbed out of the buggy. “Some better. He wanted to chore this morning, but I thought he ought to stay in the house for the day yet. If he overdoes himself, he might have a setback.”

“Humph,” Iva said. “Herman wasn’t raised like that. We only let the children stay in bed if they had over a hundred degree temperature. Even then we didn’t make things too comfortable for them. Gives them ideas about ease and pleasure—things
Da Hah
doesn’t intend for mankind to enjoy. Otherwise he wouldn’t have thrown Adam and Eve out of the garden.”

Susanna blinked. Iva had never spouted this freely about her views before. Maybe she’d been saving it for when they were finally alone together.

“I suppose you know how to unhitch a horse,” Iva said. “I want to see how Herman’s doing.”

“
Yah
,” Susanna managed, speaking to Iva’s retreating back.

The front door opened and Iva disappeared inside, slamming the door shut.

“Well!” Susanna bit her tongue. The woman was a storm cloud—perhaps a hurricane. Patting the horse on the neck, Susanna led him closer to the hitching post before taking him out of the shafts. Apparently Iva planned on staying a while if she wanted her horse unhitched. A long visit meant a long trial. Well, so be it. More time to get to know her and perhaps even come to love her. Already she was learning to deeply love Herman, so maybe she could come to love Iva too. She hadn’t thought her Christmas wish might include learning to love Herman’s
mamm
.

A shiver ran through her. Iva probably never approved Herman’s choice of a
frau
. This would explain the underlying coldness in her smiles. Susanna had always written that off to not knowing Iva that well. And with her heart still hurting over Matthew, it wasn’t like she’d had a lot of time to think about Herman’s parents and how they felt about her. Herman had been enough to think about.

“Come on!” Susanna jerked on the horse’s reins. He protested with a deep groan, and she stroked his neck. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you. It’s not your fault you’re Iva’s horse.”

What a horrible thing to say about her mother-in-law! Susanna thought as she dropped the shafts to the ground. She shouldn’t be angry at either Iva or her horse. Pushing open the barn door, she led him inside and made sure he had plenty of hay in front of him. He started munching at once, as if he were quite hungry.

“Humph indeed,” Susanna muttered, marching toward the house. Iva might think she’d come to take charge, but this was her home. Iva was not going to take over!

Susanna didn’t get far before she forced herself to pause and relax. This was no way to approach her mother-in-law. Herman loved his mother and was probably very glad to see her. She would have to act the same way and feel the same way. There was no choice in the matter. Opening the front door, she slipped inside. Loud noises were coming from the kitchen, and Herman sat shivering on the couch, his quilt gone.

“What are you doing!” Susanna exclaimed. “Where’s your quilt?”

Herman nodded toward the kitchen, his face pale. “I guess it’s time I get up and do some work around the place.”

“You will do no such thing,” Susanna said, searching for his quilt. She found it thrown on the floor behind the couch. Picking it up, she wrapped it over his shoulders.

A smile played on Herman’s face. It vanished when Iva appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“Now there you go!” Iva exclaimed. “That’s why he’s still sick. If you keep babying the man, he’ll never get well. I’m sure Herman hasn’t finished his fall plowing yet. I saw the field still half done myself when I drove in.”

Herman tried to stand up quickly and groaned.

Susanna pushed him down with her hand. “I’m sure the fall plowing will get done in time. I don’t want Herman out there working when he’s not well.”

“Well, if he doesn’t get his plowing done, don’t blame me!” Iva disappeared into the kitchen.

Susanna took a deep breath. That had been easy enough. All she had to do was stand up to Iva, and the woman backed down—as she should. Susanna was Herman’s
frau
.

Glancing up, Susanna froze. Iva was back in the kitchen doorway. She obviously wasn’t through talking.

“Look,
Mamm
, it’s okay,” Herman said, as if he knew what his mother planned to say. “I told you that before Susanna came in.”

“I didn’t finish what I was saying,” Iva told him. “In fact, I’ve hardly started. I told you I wanted to wait until Susanna came in. This is something both of you need to answer.”