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Authors: Arthur Ransome

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BOOK: Swallows and Amazons
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ROGER. What does it say?

JOHN. It says… It says… ‘Ha, ha'.

SUSAN. ‘Ha, ha.' Signed, ‘The Amazon Pirates. Nancy Blackett, Captain. Peggy Blackett, Mate.'

ROGER. ‘Ha, ha.' So, it's a sort of joke?

SUSAN. They must have suspected we would come and they've moved the
Amazon
.

JOHN. Of all the low-down, mean, villainous tricks!

There is suddenly a huge flash of lightning overhead
.

ROGER. Wah!

SUSAN. Oh, no! What do we do now?

Scene Seventeen

On the island. It is now completely dark. There is a huge clap of thunder very close by
.

TITTY. Oh my goodness! Ah! – A tree just fell down on Cormorant Island! Keep calm. Only a silly old storm. It'll soon pass over. Come on, Titty. Titty Walker, castaway. I'm not afraid of storms.

Suddenly she hears the long call of an owl. ‘Tu-whooooo. Tu-whooooo.'

Oh! Oh! That's the signal! I'm coming! I'm coming!

Frantically she feels for her torch and finds it. She switches it on, and uses it to light her way to the harbour
.

There, she uses matches to light the leading lights
.

Keep your hand steady… There. Now, come on. Come on,
Swallow
.

Suddenly a big owl flies over her head, calling: ‘Tuwhooooo! Tu-whooooo!'

It sweeps away into the darkness
.

A real owl… Perhaps it wasn't them after all.

But then she hears the sound of a boat on the lake, and the distant sound of chanting
.

AMAZONS (
chanting, off
). Amazons, Amazons, Amazons, Amazons, Amazons…

TITTY. But… what's that?

The
Amazon
is approaching the harbour
.

NANCY. Leading lights! Now that is a cunning idea.

PEGGY. Nice of them to think of us, I say.

NANCY. Couldn't have been more helpful. Line her up, Peggy. And row her in!

TITTY. Oh no. Oh, what have I done?

AMAZONS (
singing
).

We'll cut out your gizzards with a blunt pair of scissors for starters,

Use your skull as a cup and your lily-livered guts for garters,

We'll lop off your ears so while you can hear, heed this warning,

Better marshall your defences, our battle commences in the morning!

This means war!

There is a terrific thunderclap, as the storm hits
.

End of Act One
.

ACT TWO

Scene One

Aboard the
Swallow, JOHN, SUSAN
and
ROGER,
are making their way back up the river to the lake. It is pitch dark. There is a flash of lightning
.

ROGER. One, two, three, four…

Thunder
.

Four! It's almost overhead!

SUSAN. Oh, this is awful!

JOHN. Stop complaining, Mister Mate. It can't be far to the lake now. Can't you row faster?

SUSAN. My oars keep getting stuck. There are so many water lilies.

JOHN (
muttering to himself
). What a fool those Amazons have made of me. What a fool.

Keep a sharp lookout for any sign of a mast, Ship's Boy, they might have hidden Amazon in the reeds.

ROGER. Keep a lookout? I can't even see my hand!

Lightning
. ROGER
's hand
(
which he is holding in front of his face
)
is suddenly illuminated, along with everything else
.

One, two, three…

Thunder
.

Three!

SUSAN. Oh, I knew we shouldn't have come!

ROGER. The wind. That's the wind!

JOHN. We're out! We've reached the open sea. Torches out, Mister Mate, let's see what we can see.

ROGER (
singing
). A sailor went to sea sea sea…

Lightning. One, two
–
thunder
.

SUSAN (
speaking
). Oh, John. It's so dark. There's nothing. We can't see anything.

ROGER. I can see lights over there.

JOHN. Rio lights. That'll be helpful.

SUSAN. Helpful for what? What are we going to do?

JOHN. Head back to the island.

SUSAN. But do you think we can find it?

JOHN. Hoist the mainsail!

SUSAN. In the dark?

JOHN. Come on!

SUSAN
and
ROGER
do so, with some difficulty
.

I'll put her to the starboard tack and keep her very full. We want to be sure that we're clear of the rocks off the promontory.

Lightning. Thunder
.

ROGER. Oooh. I don't know if I like that. What would happen if we got hit by the thunder?

SUSAN. We won't be. We'll be all right, Roger, I promise.

Suddenly, the rain begins to pour down. The wind gets stronger. The storm is right overhead
.

Oh no!

JOHN. Take cover, you two!

SUSAN
goes to
ROGER.

ROGER. I'm getting very wet.

SUSAN (
grabbing a blanket
). Come under here. Quickly!

ROGER. Wouldn't Titty have liked this?

SUSAN. What?

ROGER. Sailing about in a real storm with no idea where we're going.

SUSAN. Don't be silly. We do know where we're going.

She leaves him and goes to
JOHN.
The storm is on top of them now
.

John? What can I do?

JOHN. Hold the torch over the compass.

SUSAN
does so
.

It's no good. We're keeling over – it won't work. I think that's east but I can't be certain.

SUSAN. Should we try to get into Rio?

JOHN. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what we should do. I just have to try… to keep her afloat.

Swallow
battles the wind, and
JOHN
and
SUSAN
struggle to keep control of her
.

(
Suddenly
.) Do you hear that? Trees! Wind in the trees – we must be close to the shore!

SUSAN. We're being blown!

JOHN. What's that? Rocks? Down with the sail! Grab the yard as it comes!

SUSAN
does all this as fast as she can
.

Quick! Quick!

SUSAN. There's something close here! It's here! Pull! Pull your left! It's… Oh!

There is a thump as
Swallow
hits something
.

JOHN. Rocks!

ROGER. What was that?

SUSAN. No – it's a landing stage. We've hit a landing stage!

JOHN. Grab hold of it! Quick! Grab it!

SUSAN. I've got it!

JOHN. Wait! Hold on! I'll tie her up!

JOHN,
holding the painter, feels his way onto the landing stage. The rain begins to ease off as the storm passes
.

ROGER. Are we all right?

SUSAN. John? John?

JOHN. It's all right. We're secure. There's a sign here.

SUSAN. What does it say?

JOHN. ‘Private. No landing.'

SUSAN. Oh.

JOHN. Never mind. It's an emergency. We'll ignore it. This must be one of the little islands off Rio.

SUSAN. The storm's passing. Thank goodness.

JOHN. But we can't go back on the lake. I can't navigate in this darkness. We'll have to stay here until first light.

SUSAN. But what about Titty?

JOHN (
sheepish
). She'll be fine. She has a tent. And food.

SUSAN
goes to
ROGER.

SUSAN. Are you all right, Roger?

ROGER. That was fun, wasn't it?

SUSAN. Yes. Are you cold?

ROGER. I'm as cold as a polar bear who's lost his furry coat.

SUSAN. Here, have this blanket.

She gives him a dry blanket
.

Do you want some chocolate?

ROGER. Yes please! How much can I have?

SUSAN. Quite a lot. In fact, have all of it.

ROGER. Thanks! This just gets better and better!

SUSAN
goes back to
JOHN.

SUSAN. One of the blankets is soaked.

JOHN. I'll go without. You go and settle down now.

SUSAN. Poor Titty. I wish we hadn't left her. I can't believe we left her.

SUSAN
starts to go back to
ROGER.

JOHN. Susan – I'm sorry.

SUSAN. It's all right…

JOHN. No. It's not all right. I've been beastly. And I think I just came very close to being the biggest duffer there ever was. I'm really, really sorry.

SUSAN. Apology accepted. Perhaps we'd better not tell Mother about this.

JOHN. I won't if you won't. At the very first sign of light, we'll go back to the island. Lie down with Roger now. Get some sleep.

SUSAN. What about you?

JOHN. I'm going to stand guard. And watch for the light.

Scene Two

The harbour. Wildcat Island. The storm has just passed overhead
. TITTY
emerges from her hiding place in the bushes
.

TITTY (
whispering
). Eighteenth of August in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and twenty-nine. A most terrible and calamitous event has overtaken me: viz; a crew of dastardly pirates has landed upon my island and has spread about to search. And I fear, alas, that they be cannibal pirates too, who will eat me all up in a most foul and hideous feasting. I feel I have been most foolish and neglectful of my island, and I fear there will be, soon, great wrath and insults poured down upon my sorry head from those who relieth upon me: viz; John, Susan and Roger.

Thunder as the storm retreats
.

The storm abateth. What shall I do? What shall I do? I have no hatchet, nor any musket to set about them with. Nor can I dig a pit to trap them in for I want for any spade or digging… thing. What shall I do? What shall I do? But wait… wait, says I…

There is another thunderclap. Then
NANCY
's voice can be heard approaching
.

NANCY. Not here. Told you. Back to the harbour.

TITTY. They return. This is it. It must be now. It must be now.

TITTY
runs to the
Amazon.
She unfastens the painter and climbs inside. She picks up the oars
.

Use the leading lights. One above the other. One above the other.

Slowly, she rows
Amazon
out of the harbour, safely negotiating the rocks. It is pitch dark, but she keeps going
–
rowing straight out towards the middle of the lake. One of the leading lights goes out
.

There goes one of the leading lights. It must be the lantern I carried from the camp. Thank providence I left when I did.

The
AMAZONS
' voices are suddenly heard from the distant island
.

NANCY. Hey! Where's our ship?

PEGGY. Hey! Where's
Amazon
? Hey!

NANCY. Peggy, you donkey. You didn't tie her up properly and now she's drifted.

PEGGY I did tie her up.

NANCY. So where is she?

PEGGY. Someone's taken her. I told you I saw a light moving about.

NANCY. There's no one on this island except us. And now we're stuck here. All night!

PEGGY. Well, whose fault is that, Cap'n Nancy?

NANCY. And now we've lost the war, you swab.

PEGGY. It was your plan, you poxy pig.

TITTY
rows a little further then stops, exhausted. The thunder is distant now and the rain has stopped, but it is still windy and cold
. TITTY
turns on her torch and feels in the boat for an anchor. She finds it
.

TITTY. Check it's fast. John always says to check it's fast.

She checks. It is. She looks back to the island
.

They could never reach me here. I must be almost at Cormorant Island by now.

She lowers the anchor over the bows, until
Amazon
is brought up with a little jerk. She notices some chocolate and eats some. She takes out her log
.

The eighteenth of August in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and twenty-nine. I find myself now quite secure upon this pirate vessel which I have captured for my prize. So I shall settle me down and payeth no heed to the very black darkness which surrounds me, nor the strangeness of the water beneath me. Nor shall I think at all about my mother. And I shall resteth me.

TITTY
falls asleep
.

Song – ‘Titty's Dream'

CHORUS.

Stealers steal and creepers creep,

Over oceans dark and deep,

Through the revolving doors of sleep,

Stealers steal and creepers creep.

Talkers talk and takers take,

Dreamers are dreaming that they are awake,

Keep hearing voices on the lake,

Talkers talk, takers take.

Steal away and go to sleep,

It's very late to be sailing,

Even explorers ought to be

In their beds, sound asleep.

TITTY
dreams. In her dream, she sees her
MOTHER,
dressed as Queen Isabella, sailing by on a royal barge. She sees
JOHN
in the uniform of a naval captain, saluting and waving goodbye. She sees the
AMAZONS
dancing round a huge cooking pot, hooting like owls and stamping their feet, and she sees
ROGER
's head come peeping out of the pot. She sees
MR JACKSON
running about dressed as Man Friday
.

She sees two
PIRATES
rowing by in a boat. They have stripy T-shirts and eye patches and bandannas
.

PIRATES.

Stealers steal and creepers creep,

Going to bury the treasure we've taken,

While the world is sound asleep,

Got to be finished before the dawn's breaking,

Best to stay out of the way,

Hiding in shadows and quietly quaking,

Even though it's plain as day,

We're fanciful, fictional, all in your mind.

PIRATE 2 (
speaking
). No one comes to this island except those crazy birds. It'll be safe here.

PIRATE 1. That's land. Get out and pull her in. Now give me a hand with this box.

BOOK: Swallows and Amazons
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