The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys (2 page)

Ever heard of the “rabbit”? Made famous on an episode of the TV show
Sex and the City
in which character Charlotte disappears for days on end with her new vibrator, these dual-action (or “twice as nice”) vibes are very popular, indeed. They combine a shaft for penetration with another buzzy little vibe at the base (usually in the shape of an animal, like a bunny), well situated for clitoral stimulation during penetration. Often, the shaft will have an internal ring of “pearls”—small plastic beads that undulate to massage the vaginal barrel when the shaft is activated. Typically, the shaft rotates in a gyrating fashion while the clit vibe vibrates, though usually each of these functions is independent of one another and the user can choose to use one
or the other, or both, and at whatever speed or intensity she prefers. It's no surprise that these toys have legions of loyal followers, for they combine the perfect types of stimulation that help the user come (and come fast!) during penetration.

Dual-action vibes like this are available in hundreds of shapes, sizes, styles, and varieties. The main differences lie in the length, shape, and girth of the shaft, and in the size of the clit stimulator and its distance from the shaft. Sometimes selection can be tricky, as no two women's clits are exactly the same distance from their vaginal opening. Advanced dual-action vibes have microchip controllers, allowing the user to figure out as many ways as possible that she can come with a variety of programmable pulses, shudders, shakes, vibrations, and more. These toys are also suitable for quite enjoyable anal experimentation, as the clit vibe at the base serves as both a stopping point for safe anal insertion and a delicious buzz for the vaginal opening or testicles.

Originally manufactured in Japan where genital representation on sex toys was once illegal, today's dual-action vibes usually sport smiling little samurai faces on the shaft, and any number of tiny animal companions at the base—rabbit, beaver, bird, even platypus. The tradition is still in practice, even with the cheap imitations now coming out of China, but if you decide that this vibe fits nicely into your orgasmic arsenal, do spend a bit more to get a Japanese-made version, as it will be better made and last longer than its cloned Chinese and American counterparts. But beware of sex toy companies making the marketing claim that they have “the original rabbit”; it may not be true.

The category of vibrators worn on the finger will be of special interest throughout this book, as most finger vibes are
discreet enough to be slipped on during foreplay or sex to make those fingers do double time when they explore your lover's nipples, clit, penis, or outer part of the anus. Finger vibes come in a variety of permutations, but the most common version you'll see is the awkwardly named Fukuoku. This hard plastic, watch-battery-powered vibe slips onto the end of a finger, runs at one speed, and comes with a variety of thin, textured silicone sheaths. But oodles of finger vibe versions are available, from little tickly outer space creatures to finger bullets, complete with external battery packs providing controllers with variable (and programmable) speeds and functions. Also of note are “tongue vibes,” which strap to one's tongue for use in oral sex (see chapter 3, Come Together).

A dildo is basically defined as any penetrative, nonvibrating device—but aside from the clinical definition of what makes a dildo
not
a vibrator, dildos comprise a vast category of wonderful,
whimsical, bizarre, and sometimes-scary penetration toys. Dildos are used mostly for vaginal and anal penetration, though they can also be used for wonderfully intense mock blow jobs, especially when worn in a strap-on harness.

In general, dildos come in two styles: representational and nonrepresentational.
Representational
is a loose term here, as even the most realistic dildos tend to look like bizarrely colored doll parts, though the dildo manufacturing industry has created some amazing innovations in body-part realism—most notably with Vixen Creation's incredibly real-feeling silicone Tex dildo (made with VixSkin). Representational dildos typically look like penises in shape, whereas the nonrepresentational models can be anything from smooth shafts in pearlescent turquoise, to mermaids, to bumpy, sculpted figurative works of art.

 

Some dildos have a suction cup base, allowing the user to stick them on smooth surfaces like bathroom tile or a tub, or even a hard barstool. Dildos made for harness use have a flared, flat base so they fit into the harness base; these dildos are also suitable for safe anal use as the flared base can be used as a handle to retrieve the toy. They're also great for practicing deep throat fellatio, as you can use the base as a handle while you explore the comfort zone of your gag reflex. Extra-long dildos (and double dildos) are great for when you need a little extra reach, when you have mobility issues or wrist injuries, or when a long handle just makes penetration more comfortable. Or, of course, when you like
really
deep penetration. Read more about double dildos in chapter 5, Strap-Ons and Bend Over Boyfriend.

We've been gulled by sex toy advertising to think sex toys are just for girls—but that's hardly the case. Use of sex toys among men is far from rare. Men can (and do) use all the toys described in this chapter—not just those in this “for men” section. Many guys love vibration in their genital area and will seek out cup-shaped vibes for the head of the penis, or will find a few exciting options in the above vibrator sections—like hand massage with a bullet vibe in his fist. Men, of course, have prostate glands, so they can enjoy anal stimulation (if they're comfortable with it).
They can adopt a few ideas from the sections on dildos and butt toys in this chapter, and later in chapter 5, Strap-Ons and Bend Over, Boyfriend, they can browse all kinds of info, suggestions, and tips for pleasant prostate play. Lots of men like to have their nipples stimulated and might like to check out the sections on nipple clamps in chapter 4, Kinky Toys for Two. But generally, when you look in the men's sections in hetero retail sex toy sites and in stores, you'll be seeing a lot of cock rings and masturbation sleeves, with no marketing aimed at prostate play. Conversely, in gay stores you'll see butt toys marketed to men, which is sometimes a misnomer, as not all gay men like anal penetration.

 

A cock ring is a ring worn around the penis and testicles to apply a steady pressure around the base, slightly restricting the blood flow out of the penis after it's engorged. Not for all (but enjoyed by many), a cock ring provides a continuous squeeze to a man's penis and testicles that can make any stimulation feel more pleasurable. It goes over the top of the penis's base and continues around and under the testicles. Cock rings don't help with erectile difficulties, but many men say they help their erections last longer—though the results are different for everyone. But cock rings do have a nice way of pushing everything out and up…making for a nice visual package.

Unless you're experienced with cock rings, never use ones that are metal or aren't stretchy enough to remove easily. These rings can come off only upon ejaculation or when the erection subsides, which means a guy has to ice everything down (to get the blood to retreat from his genitals) if he panics or experiences pain or discomfort. Needless to say, if he experiences pain or discomfort when using a cock ring, he should remove the ring immediately. Cock rings are easiest to apply and remove on men who trim or shave their pubic hair, but that's not required. Just keep an eye on hair that can get snagged when removing a stretchy rubber ring.

Male masturbation sleeves are a category with so many styles, shapes, and models that it would be impossible to list them all here—the world is truly a really big place. From shiny jelly rubber “cock socks” to vibrating pumps and disembodied casts of porn stars, they're all here. The sleeves tend to either be really thoughtfully designed, such as the soft and tight Fleshlight, or be loose and annoying “one-size-fits-some” rubber mouths, and more. What a guy wants when it comes to a masturbation sleeve is
entirely up to his fantasy and what he might like to look at when he masturbates; most men don't care what it looks like, because they're either watching porn or running their own fantasy in their heads anyway, and the sleeve does little more than provide sensation that's different than their own hand—making these toys a nice change from the same-old, same-old style of masturbation.

Typically, butt plugs are nonvibrating, bullet-shaped toys, with a flat, flared base, made to insert in the anus during different kinds of sex play, and are intended to stay put. Yet this isn't always what happens—smaller plugs, when properly lubed up for insertion, tend to come out (or shoot out) when the involuntary muscles of the anal sphincter contract and relax, especially at the point of orgasm. Most butt plugs are created in the proper shape to stay put; their wide base and narrow “neck” make them ideal toys for hands-free anal penetration, and they give a lasting feeling of fullness during other activities, such as oral sex, penetration, or hand jobs. Because they're made to stay in place, anal plugs with a narrow neck and bulbous top aren't great for in-and-out thrusting, as the stress of opening and closing the anal muscles tends to feel uncomfortable, especially for those who are sensitive to anal pain.

Sex toys safe for anal penetration have a flared base. That prevents them from being pulled into the anal canal, where they can get lost—a nightmare waiting to happen. The sphincter muscles squeeze and contract involuntarily; we can't control them. This serves to push and pull things in and out of the anus, and
once something gets pulled in, there's no guarantee you're going to get it out without a trip to the hospital—which is what you'd have to take to prevent serous injury if, say, a hot, battery-powered vibrator went AWOL. Take a look at a standard butt plug and you'll see exactly what a flared base should look like. Not all toys sold for anal use are actually safe to put in your butt, so please be a sex-smart shopper.

Anal beads are basically a knotted string with plastic beads every inch or so, with a large ring at the end that functions as a handle. Not all anal beads are created equal, and quality ranges from cheap plastic to metal and even precious gems. Some versions are beaded wands, rather than strings. Like all butt toys, anal beads should be carefully examined before use. If using the string version, make sure all the knots are secure. Plastic beads are made in factories and the beads themselves often have sharp seams—file down any ridge seams with a nail file to ensure a smooth set of beads. Make sure your handle is secure, and check the base of any “stringless” varieties for strength.