The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) (16 page)

Claire and Jack
hummed. “But you've only known us for three months.”

“Yes, I know.”
Paige took a few deep breaths and bit her fingernail. “But,” she
said with her finger in her mouth. “But, I feel happy singing
again. And that's it, I've said it. If they don't want to accept
Bare Necessities, then we don't sign.”

“I think you are
making a mistake,” Jack told her.

“Me too,” Claire
added.

“You think that,”
Paige snapped as she pushed past them to get the reception room.
“But I am not signing anything that is for Paige Simmons and only
Paige Simmons. We started this together, but we are going to finish
it together.”

Jack rubbed his
eyes. “I admire your loyalty …”

“I don't want your
admiration,” Paige snapped as she poured herself a glass of water.
“At first I disliked you, you were a spoilt, little posh boy
playing at making music, but as I got to know you I found that
underneath the spoilt child was a nice guy who I have got to like.
You still irritate me. You still need to cut the apron ties with
Mummy and Daddy, but I like you. And I like Claire, I found someone
who likes singing with me. And we have the weirdest band going, but
that's what it is, a band. A group.” Her eyes narrowed and dropped
to the floor. “A family, almost. And I don't want to split that
band up, not yet.” She looked at Jack and Claire. “And, I don't
think I could make it through the music business on my own. And I
don't think I want to.”

Claire tutted and
she flinched when her phone beeped. “It's a message from the last
guy, says he is early but are we OK to meet him?”

“If he says I have
to split with you two, I am going to kick him so bloody hard,”
Paige warned.

“Just think about
it,” Jack told her. “We can still make music when you aren't
touring foreign continents and stuff, but it could be a great
opportunity for you.”

Paige waited for
Claire to leave the room, and she glared at her friend. “I don't
want to do it without you and Claire,” she hissed at Jack. “I want
to be part of a band. Part of a family. I am not going solo, so
stop thinking that I will.” The smiling face of Andre Wilson
interrupted Paige's hushed conversation, and he shook Jack's hand,
and then Claire's and offered it to Paige. “Tell me, who have you
come to see?”

“Err … well you
and your friends. Or is it band mates? Or peers? Bare Necessities.
I think you're Paige. Chloe and Jack.”

“Claire,” Paige
corrected him. “I'm Paige, that's Jack and that's Claire.”

“Sorry.”

“What I mean is,
do you like us as a band?”

“Yes,” Andre
answered, a little perplexed. “I saw your video on YouTube and did
some research. Found out you were unsigned and loved the music on
MySpace.”

“Yeah, you are the
third agent we have seen today,” Paige told him. Claire put her
head in her hands and groaned as Paige reeled off the names of the
other two visitors.

“They are top
names,” he told her. “Interesting characters certainly. But scouts
for top agencies, and they'll take you to the top in their own way,
no doubt. If you have those offers, I guess I should bid you
farewell.”

“Sit down,” Paige
ordered angrily. “I threw the phone of one of them out of the
window, and I threw the other one out of the flat. Let's just say I
won't be signing for them.”

Andre whimpered.
“Right. Well. OK.”

“They were nasty
people.”

“They were
arrogant but honest,” Claire corrected her and Paige crossed her
arms, scowling.

“They said I
should do a fake lesbian act with you and make a sex tape, or split
us up,” Paige snapped and she looked at Andre. “If you are about to
say anything like that then you better sod off now.”

“No,” Andre said
softly. “I represent Incredible Talents, and I gotta say, We really
liked your stuff. Really liked it. It was totally incredible, guys.
Great songs, guitar work good. I mean, it's not totally perfect,
but I can see it doing well in the charts and … just great. I think
as a group, you could do well. And if you did want a solo career,
then you'll be fine too.” He looked at Paige and she shook her
head. “Who wrote the songs?”

“I wrote half of
them,” Jack replied. “Paige wrote a few.”

“So that's good.
I'll be honest, groups do have a tendency to split up after awhile
so you got to think about that, but I would love to sign you guys
up as a group.” Paige smiled and looked at Jack and Claire with a
smile on her face. “I do need to ask though, why sing naked? If
it's a gimmick, you don't need to.”

“Err …” Jack
looked at Paige.

“It's not a
gimmick,” Paige said firmly. “I'm a naturist. I just can't sing any
other way. I've tried and I just freeze up.”

“Right. Well two
options then, we either look to get you so are comfortable with
clothes …”

“ … or?”

“Well, it's not as
easy, but we could have you playing to clothing-optional venues and
places were the audience is receptive to nudity. Brighton beach
would be good. That sort of place. Get a reputation in those sorts
of places. It'll take longer, but that's what Take That did, they
toured gay clubs, built up such a following, it enabled them to go
mainstream.”

“But Take That
weren't gay?” Paige replied instantly. “Were they?”

“I am not getting
into that,” Andre said with raised eyebrows. “But we'd look to get
you on tour supported by an album that you say you have. Get that
on iTunes, maybe in the charts. Properly licensed of course. And
then see where we go.”

Paige looked at
him and nodded. “I'm liking the sound of you,” she told him, and he
opened his bag to pull out a sample contract.

Paige did try to
get them all to strip before continuing their discussion, reasoning
that the Bare Necessities should conduct their business naked, but
Andre blushed and Claire stopped Paige from being too demanding by
dispatching the trouble-maker to the recording room to burn a copy
of their album onto CD for him. The red-haired tease charged him £5
for the disc. “They sell like hotcakes,” Paige teased, and Andre
handed over the battered five-pound note.

“I think it's a
bargain,” he replied with a smile as Paige put the £5 note on the
shelf. “I'll ring you,” he promised Claire. “Get a meeting with my
uncle. I think he'll be interested on getting you guys out a bit,
on tour for a few venues in the summer, if you're happy with
that?”

“As long as I can
sing naked,” Paige replied.

“I thought you'd
say that; I'll tell my uncle. You up for going on tour, though? I'm
only thinking of ten venues in two or three weeks.”

“Yeah,” Paige said
and her eyes sparkled excitedly. “Definitely.”

Jack nodded.
“Sure,” Claire added. “Let's see what happens with the contract and
then, yeah, it sounds good.” Andre shook the hands of the three
band members and smiled at Claire as she showed him to the
door.

“See,” Paige told
them triumphantly. “We can stay together. And going on tour, that
sounds so exciting.”

“Do you think you
are more likely to go to number one with Andre or the other two?”
Jack asked sanctimoniously. “Honestly?”

“Andre,” Paige replied instantly. “Because if I was
with the other two, I would have to hurt them before I could start
the day. And then they'd sack me.”

1. Chapter
   XII
   

“My demands,”
Harriet told him as she burst into his room. “It's OK. I had so
many ideas.”

Jack looked up
from the bed and put his book to one side. “Demands? Oh that. You
could be nice and promise to keep my secret as I have kept all of
yours.”

“Don't be a
moron,” Harriet snapped and she rubbed her scheming hands together.
“You see, I thought about getting you to stripteases for my
friends. We have birthdays coming up, and they'd like it, but, you
see, I don't want to see you naked. Don't take it personally, but,
hell, you're my brother.”

“And I wouldn't do
it. In fact, I won't do anything.”

“Yes you will,”
Harriet snapped and rubbed her toe along her foot as she thought.
“You see, I saw that video, and if Mum and Dad saw that, well,
they'd … they'd … well they'd go mental, let's be honest here.”

“I'm not being
blackmailed, especially not by my baby sister, so you are wasting
your time. And I don't think you will tell because it's not in your
nature and you have nothing to gain from this. Unless you think our
parents keeping a closer eye on what we both get up to is a good
thing.”

Harriet shook her
head. “Keeping a closer eye on you, not me,” Harriet argued and
sighed. “I want you to screw over that common girl in the
front.”

“Paige?”

“I want to see her
upset. And I know you will do it.”

“Why? What's Paige
done to you?”

“It's not her I
hate. It's red hair,” Harriet admitted. “Steve, my ex left me for a
ginger slapper as they are slutty and dirty and I hate them all. I
want hidden camera shots of her doing everything. Singing, dancing,
eating, going to the toilet. Screwing. And then I can put it on
YouTube. I want to destroy her.”

“Harriet, this is
silly. I am not going to help you upset my friend. Now get out of
my bedroom,” Jack ordered. “Out!”

“I'll tell Mum,”
she threatened and Jack jumped down from his bed.

“No you won't. Now
get out.”

“You're making a
mistake,” Harriet warned. “A tremendous mistake. I will tell Mum
and Dad, and they will screw with you.”

“Out!” Jack yelled
and closed his door firmly.

* *
* * *

“Hello Andre,”
Claire said. “Sorry, I missed your call, I was working.”

“Look, I've spoken
to my uncle and we are definitely interested in signing you guys
up. We like your sound and we've been talking to record companies
and everything.”

“Excellent,”
Claire beamed. “That'll be great. I'm seeing Paige later. This
sounds exciting.”

“Yes,” Andre
muttered and Claire hesitated. “He did say that the whole naked
thing will be a problem though.”

“Ohh … why?”

“Well it's just
there are many venues, and most countries that won't accept you as
a naked performer. It will cause a problem for us, and as such, my
uncle thinks that Paige will need to get over her fear of singing
in public instead of …”

“No!” Claire
cried. “Paige sings naked, that's us. I thought you knew this!”

“I do,” Andre
stressed. “But let's face it, the amount of venues that will have
you is pretty low. So, some nudist colonies or nudist beaches, but
where are you going to go after that? Strip clubs?”

Claire sighed. “We
thought you understood. I thought you …”

“If you want to
make money,” Andre interrupted her. “Then you need to compromise.
Sure, we can still get some nudist places in, but if you play some
places you need to be clothed. What if we can get you onto a chat
show to promote your single, what then? Now if, you want to be
naked, I get you into any men's magazine you want, and they'd love
au naturel pictures, but not for the day job. That's just the
reality, love. You need to talk to Paige, make her see sense. I can
get her counselling and …”

Claire snorted.
“Well sorry then, the deal's off.” Andre stammered, but Claire
ended the call and then rejected Andre's attempts at calling her
back, striding through the Croydon rush hour bustle to reach
Paige's house.

“What's up?” Paige
asked as she took her friend into her bedroom. Hazel looked down
from the top bunk as she tore her eyes away from a magazine and
Claire took a deep breath.

“Andre wants us to
go clothed,” Claire blurted out. “I mean, all the time, so I told
him the deal's off.”

“OK,” Paige said
and looked at her friend. “What now?”

“I was thinking as
I came over here, why don't we just do it ourselves. I mean, all
the agents we have spoken to have been useless. We got the first
two gigs ourselves.”

Paige nodded.
“Yeah, well, it's the Summer. Must be loads of stuff out
there.”

“Yeah, that's what
I was thinking,” Claire replied. “I've spoken to Jack and he says
we can go on tour if you can. A couple of weeks, maybe three, and
he can drive us and … what do you think?”

Paige beamed.
“Yeah. We can use our big tent,” she enthused. “Mum won't mind.”
Paige's eyes twinkled and she stretched. “Just one condition, we
play everywhere naked.”

“Of course,”
Claire replied. “I kinda knew that.”

* *
* * *

“Jack! Jack! Get
down here now!”

“What?” Jack
moaned and sidled down the stairs at a leisurely pace. His father
sat in the front room with a newspaper on his knee and stared at
his son as he came into the room.

“What did I tell
you about that Baynes girl?” Jack bit his lip and looked at his
sister smiling on a leather chair opposite. “Well?”

Jack shrugged.
“Told me not to get involved,” he added. “And I haven't.”

“Oh no?” He asked.
“Think again.”

“I haven't. Claire
and I are not an item or will ever be one.” He glanced over at his
sister and bit his lip as he pondered what Harriet had told his
parents. “Sure, we made a bit of music together, but that's it. She
doesn't even like me like that.”

The veins in the
neck of Paul Rees-Montague bulged. “Then why the bloody hell were
you naked with her then. And what the devil is it doing on the
Internet? And who the hell is that at the front?” Paul yelled, and
got up from the chair. He jabbed his finger into the shoulder of
Jack and passed him a tablet computer from the folds of his
newspaper.

Jack simpered; he
had not seen the video on the Internet and he watched for a moment
as Paige delivered a fantastic solo. “It's Paige, she can't sing
with her clothes on.”

“What the hell has
this got to do with you?”